Things you don't want to hear your DM say

Do you play D&D?

Yes, cause I'm cool	90.1%	[ 1412 ]
No, cause i'm stupid	9.9%	[ 156 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1568 ]

[NeoSilverThorn]

Willexia Rennar

"Roll to save against compulsory disco dancing."


...I wish I was coming up with that off the top of my head.

95% of the time you have to roll a save (particularly Will saves) it's not pleasant.

From Call of Cthulhu: "Roll D10 SAN." (Particularly if you've got less than 50 Sanity left)

From pretty much each and every edition of Traveller: "Boy, you blew that astronav roll." (In other words, you've just fracking misjumped.)

From Earthdawn (and more than a few of my own D&D campaigns): "The horror stares at you intently, and you feel a sensation of dread slithering through you." (You've been horror-marked. It never ends well.)

[Addridoc]

You see light reflecting off one overly large eye, then more an more smaller eyes seem to apear over the first.

i hate beholders.

[Shad Woest]

Evilweirdo 0

Everyone falls, rocks die.

Rocks die, everyone falls.

[Liquidor]

0_S h i n j i n_0

"I don't believe in re-rolling, but what is it with your luck."
> In reference to the fact that I NEVER roll above 10 on a d20.

lucky. I roll them as d6

[NeoSilverThorn]

"You don't see any traps." - Lord almighty, if ever a DM phrase has the ability to make a person paranoid...

[Lanackse-Kanvae]

NeoSilverThorn

"You don't see any traps." - Lord almighty, if ever a DM phrase has the ability to make a person paranoid...

That always makes me paranoid. The more paranoid inducing version my DM uses is "you don't find any traps" after a search check by the "trapfinder".

[Evilweirdo 0]

Remind me to use these phrases even if there are no traps. I could condition my players into being fearless and send out my Evilweirdan paladins to do cool stuff!

"Things sometimes get hairy." Cue "OMG werewolves!"

[Dragon HighLord Flambe]

"I just came up with an NPC who wields a staff which does 4D4 Negative levels each time it hits!"

[Purple_On_The_Brain]

"Roll a luck check"
"You find yourselves in a long corridor" Seriously, we had this one campaign that took place almost entirely in corridors.
Also, he would say "Roll a strength check... You broke the fourth wall! Haw haw haw!"

[arawn513]

As a DM myself, the thing that freaks them out the most is if I say "I'm sorry, but..."

[Blace_5555]

When they say "You better think of something quick"- reference to when my rogue slipped while running from a horde of zombies

He survived, he had the Cape of the Mounteback and hadn't used it that day yet.

[Penitent Patience]

1. What's your AC? oh ok your take damage. Hand me that bowl of D8's.

2. You turn around and find your party memeber missing.

3. You turn back the other way to find your other party member missing as well.

4. she chopped your sword into 2 pieces.

5. You drink deeply.. and feel funny..

6. It wasn't on your map.

7. You feel your being watched.

8. You come across a chamber with an ice floor.. noting there are quite a few chambers beneith.
as you look closer for better view you notice there are multiple eyed creatures who dont need
to look closer for better view of you. Save please.. emotion_puke

9. You move the curtain blocking your venture down the hallway.. im going to need saves from
all of you..

10. You reach for the next step as you climb to escape the skeletons and realize its not really
there..but you did grab a meat hook.

11. Finally you have seduced the well spokenly hot evil queen onto the side of good as your lips
touch hers and her skin flakes away revealing a disgusting face of rot and bone.. Save vs
please.. emotion_0A0

12. The barbarian takes the party funds of 10K platinum and negotiates the purchase of goods
on your behalf. Later that day he comes back with a few tinder sticks, a shaved dead
chicken and is missing all including the shirt off his back with a smile saying " ME GOT
PARTY STICKS!!!" emotion_facepalm

[Grim_Wrath]

Worst thing ever that I've heard

"When you reach into the bag of holding to pull your now dead, then unconscious party member out, you realize he's not there"

[Liquidor]

Penitent Patience

2. You turn around and find your party memeber missing.

3. You turn back the other way to find your other party member missing as well.

DM (me): Everyone roll Perception.
d6's rolled
DM (me): Well, since everyone failed, what do you do now that you've killed an ogre?
quickly pick up two PC figures
PC1: Hey where did I go?
PC2: wtf liq?!
PC3: Is the door locked?

[NeoSilverThorn]

From just about any Steampunk campaign (Or Eberron to some extent): "Roll a crafting check. Please don't botch."

From any modern campaign: "There's gas all over the place, the pump is open, and he just dropped a lit match. What do you do?"