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Do you play D&D?

Yes, cause I'm cool 0.90102171136654 90.1% [ 1411 ]
No, cause i'm stupid 0.098978288633461 9.9% [ 155 ]
Total Votes:[ 1566 ]
Cefdrake's avatar

Moonlight Stalker

funniest thing i ever heard as a dm:
me: arrow trap, roll for half damage.
friend: *rolls a 1*
friend: I leap into the way of the arrow.
me: you take double damage
Cefdrake's avatar

Moonlight Stalker

wait... thats what the dice are for?
"You all drop frikkin dead."
"Drumroll please."
"...And this is going to be why one of you should've made a cleric..."
Mongoose4937's avatar

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"Who's on second watch?"
every fears grinning DM eek

and due to and ind jones style running battle with a 300 strong tribe of savages across temple ruins and through caves - our group now fears the phrase "in the distance you hear ......... the sound of drums" wink
Sauerkrautron's avatar

Quotable Cultist

DM:"A bucket tips off the top of the door and splashes over everyone."
Entire group:"What's in it?"
DM: "Sovereign glue."
player: ok i walk down the hall way what do i see
dm : a young girl in a white dress
player : ahhh explitive
Silvia Crow's avatar

Omnipresent Loiterer

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DM: "For this next campaign, you're going to need broken characters to survive."
Sauerkrautron
DM:"A bucket tips off the top of the door and splashes over everyone."
Entire group:"What's in it?"
DM: "Sovereign glue."


Oooh fun!
Blackdragon0228's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

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Ur soul is stuck in a gem and the only way 2 get out is for someone else 2 sacrifice themselves xp
Blackdragon0228
Ur soul is stuck in a gem and the only way 2 get out is for someone else 2 sacrifice themselves xp


Ooooh also fun!


DM: Well that's when you realize it's not a mountain...

Anything said after this is probably enough to make you say 'Ahhh s**t.' or something similar.
Blackdragon0228's avatar

Tipsy Prophet

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Dringdar
Blackdragon0228
Ur soul is stuck in a gem and the only way 2 get out is for someone else 2 sacrifice themselves xp


Ooooh also fun!


DM: Well that's when you realize it's not a mountain...

Anything said after this is probably enough to make you say 'Ahhh s**t.' or something similar.


lol definitely an ah s**t moment. ooh i have another one!

DM: u defeated the assassin that killed your mother (hes hanging from the ceiling btw) but upon his death he voided his bowels on the whole party >_<
"Oooohh... looks like you guys ignite the "strange black powder". Hmm..." (starts picking up d10s) "14...15... Hey, I need some d10s... just hand me all you have." (rolls) "HAHAHAHA.... oh, sorry. Does anyone have a calculator?"
Verne the Vaudevillian's avatar

Desirable Genius

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This was from our last session actually, against a Death Knight boss we fought. And yes, we did manage to kill it.

Red Wizard: "I'm gonna cast a wall of fire around the undead in the room."
DM: "Alright. Well, I'm just gonna say this before it happens, this is gonna suck for you guys. Dave, can you plug (400x4)x12 into the calculator?"
Me: "...why?"
DM: "Just plug it."
Me: (plugs numbers) "Um...19200"
DM: "Okay. So, you cast the wall of fire and the four piles of skulls behind him explode, coating him in negative energy."
Martial Artist: "Oh god...don't tell me he has 19k hp."
DM: "Well, he does."
Me: "Dude, how the ******** does he have 19k hp?"
DM: "Blame the wall of fire. Those skulls weren't supposed to explode all at once."
Every player: "********."

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