Things you don't want to hear your DM say

Do you play D&D?

Yes, cause I'm cool	90.1%	[ 1412 ]
No, cause i'm stupid	9.9%	[ 156 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1568 ]

[Seiryna]

Dringdar

Salaura

Dringdar

Salaura

Dringdar

Seiryna

my char has a cute butt O.o I once played a game where our bard actually wrote and sang a song about my chars. butt =x he was a halfling, and always followed my char around for 'bardic inspiration'

Oh man. I want to hear that. It must be incredibly amusing!

Very simple thing you don't want to hear.

Me: So remember those elves you helped? With the dark skin and the red eyes and the very angry and rude disposition?
Player: The Drow?
Me: Yup. They're back.
Player: We can take em.
Me: No you can't. They're all dead. That man with the white hair, two swords and chainmail armor killed them.
Players: ...

That was also amusing.

lmao! thats evil!

Having Drizzt mop the floor with my players was funny. He left them all at negative hp, and walked off. I guess sending a 16th level fighter/barbarian/ranger at a level 9 party was a low blow.

I guess that's payback for all the times players try to PLAY Drizzt.

Amusingly, none of my players are FR people. In fact, this conversation played out before the a**-kicking.

ME: You recognize this man as Drizzt.
Rogue: Is he good?
Me: Well he just kicked a** on about fifteen Drow alone...
Mage: Are Drow good?
Me: Kind of. So, Drizzt lifts his scimitar an-
Paladin(Interupting): EVIL DROW! PREPARE TO RETURN TO THINE EVIL GOD!
Me: biggrin Roll to hit
Paladin: Hehehe. Does a thirty one hit?
Me: Nope.
Paladin: O_o
Drizzt: I have sparred with demons from the Nine Hells, I'll not break a sweat here!
Me: Does a forty two hit?
Paladin: O_O

For those of you wondering, I was using the Drizzt stats from Baldur's Gate 1, and then just transfered them to 3rd Edition. Those of you who've fought him on that game know his stats are hacked. biggrin

I roll a will save to disbelieve in good drow, he's only soo broken cause he has to be, otherwise everyone would kill him XD he's not even that cool, I mean seriously >< what makes him cool? *tries to think* make him evil, and change him to a her....muuch better story =p

[iEnginseer]

Iunno, I've crafted things that make Drizz't look tame in comparison, including a constant threat labeled only as 'Steve the Undustable' in my file of horrible monsters.

Steve the Undustable started out as a joke from a Hunter: The Reckoning video game (where a zombie glitched and, as the name implies, was unkillable. He also followed the party around on every map, so over time he became a lovable if unsociable member of the party), that when I finally sat down and started crafting a really interesting Illithid for a major villain at some point (and noticed some loopholes - good old Wizards of the Coast), I gave the project the name 'The Steve the Undustable' project.

While Steve clearly isn't his real name, he started out rather simply as a normal Psionic Illithid Telepath 2/Illithid Savant 10 that saved up all of his happy-fun class features for an incredibly long time (and had a genius intelligence/wisdom score from the onset). Until eventually, he started going around and 'collecting' the best bits of various brains in the world he was created for...

The first victim to fall was a 20th level wizard who had his Spellcasting absorbed by good ol' Steve. Now in addition to being a 10th level Psion, he was also now a 20th level wizard. Got'em in his sleep - and it made the next brain that much easier as that particular target was a 20th level cleric. Repeat of 'absorb class feature' here. Then off to hunt down a significantly more powerful Psion and munch his brain (bringing him up to 20th level Psionic manifestation ability as an Egoist and 10th as a Telepath).

That alone would have been broken enough - but then I realized that I had all this extra stuff left over. I'd filled out the Skills already by stealing enough stuff to qualify for Epic Spellcasting (as Steve was getting up there anyway). I had two 'Special Qualities or Attacks' to steal. What to do, what to do...

Cue Steve using his impressive talents to track down and subdue a War Troll (Regeneration yoink!) and a young Black Dragon (Acid Immunity yoink!). Those of us not sure what this added up to, is that Steve had Regeneration 4 (Acid)... and immunity to Acid. Being immune to the one thing that could probably kill him, Steve was now Undustable.

I've since threatened groups with an encounter with Steve the Undustable. :3

"Now, you lot behave or I'll break out Steve."

[Darth Moren]

You could always KO and then drown Steve....

But Steve reminds me of my "I'm just being a jackass now" encounter. The Acid-born Kraken Wizard who lives in a lake made of Elder Black Puddings.

If I'm DMing, though, one thing my players don't want to hear is, "You see a small, fluffy kitten sitting in the middle of the hallway..."

[Dringdar]

Sith Lord Darth Moren

You could always KO and then drown Steve....

But Steve reminds me of my "I'm just being a jackass now" encounter. The Acid-born Kraken Wizard who lives in a lake made of Elder Black Puddings.

If I'm DMing, though, one thing my players don't want to hear is, "You see a small, fluffy kitten sitting in the middle of the hallway..."

I gotta hear the backstory on this one.

[Darth Moren]

Very well.

The fluffy kitty is part of a creature I created years ago with one of my friends, more as a Deadly Joke Encouter than anything else. The kitty is part of a creature called The Waggle.

Think a giant, land-based anglerfish, and you've got the basic idea for The Waggle. It looks pretty much like a giant mouth on legs, with two beady little eyes on what passes for a head, and a long, whiplike tail with what appears to be a fluffy white kitten on the end of it. Despite being Huge-sized, the Waggle is quite adept at hiding, and it's diet is comprised mainly of stupid adventurers.

What it will do is hide somewhere in a dungeon, and leave the fluffy kitty part sitting out in plain sight. Now, The Waggle's most devious ability is that the kitty exudes a powerful hypnotic aura, which gives people an irresistible urge to pick up and pet the kitty. At which point they are promptly devoured by the Waggle.

Only recently have I given actual stats to the Waggle, but I haven't yet playtested it. However, it has become something of a legendary creature in my gaming group, because of how absurd it is. And yet, it is still rightly feared by all. When I told my friend Mike that I was going to playtest The Waggle in a game that I'm co-DMing, his exact response was "Dear lord NO, are you crazy?!"

So, yeah. That's the story of The Waggle.

[Dringdar]

Sith Lord Darth Moren

Very well.

The fluffy kitty is part of a creature I created years ago with one of my friends, more as a Deadly Joke Encouter than anything else. The kitty is part of a creature called The Waggle.

Think a giant, land-based anglerfish, and you've got the basic idea for The Waggle. It looks pretty much like a giant mouth on legs, with two beady little eyes on what passes for a head, and a long, whiplike tail with what appears to be a fluffy white kitten on the end of it. Despite being Huge-sized, the Waggle is quite adept at hiding, and it's diet is comprised mainly of stupid adventurers.

What it will do is hide somewhere in a dungeon, and leave the fluffy kitty part sitting out in plain sight. Now, The Waggle's most devious ability is that the kitty exudes a powerful hypnotic aura, which gives people an irresistible urge to pick up and pet the kitty. At which point they are promptly devoured by the Waggle.

Only recently have I given actual stats to the Waggle, but I haven't yet playtested it. However, it has become something of a legendary creature in my gaming group, because of how absurd it is. And yet, it is still rightly feared by all. When I told my friend Mike that I was going to playtest The Waggle in a game that I'm co-DMing, his exact response was "Dear lord NO, are you crazy?!"

So, yeah. That's the story of The Waggle.

I just plagarized that monster for my campaign since that's too awesome to pass up.

[spyworks666]

There is alway the infamous "The monster hits with his attack. oh, i'm gonna need more dice for this"

[Seiryna]

spyworks666

There is alway the infamous "The monster hits with his attack. oh, i'm gonna need more dice for this"

sounds like epic level rogue...one of my old DMs banned me from playing rogue after doing 200D6 in sneak attack damage...I did like 900 points of damage and was like >.> <.< is it dead? and DM was like -.-' *takes my char sheet, and rips it in half* epic level rogues are sooo fun to play as XD

[spyworks666]

Seiryna

spyworks666

There is alway the infamous "The monster hits with his attack. oh, i'm gonna need more dice for this"

sounds like epic level rogue...one of my old DMs banned me from playing rogue after doing 200D6 in sneak attack damage...I did like 900 points of damage and was like >.> <.< is it dead? and DM was like -.-' *takes my char sheet, and rips it in half* epic level rogues are sooo fun to play as XD

actually i was talking to my friend about that same senario where you stab with a dagger do 1d4 of damage yet still kill the monster with sneak attack damage.

[Seiryna]

spyworks666

Seiryna

spyworks666

There is alway the infamous "The monster hits with his attack. oh, i'm gonna need more dice for this"

sounds like epic level rogue...one of my old DMs banned me from playing rogue after doing 200D6 in sneak attack damage...I did like 900 points of damage and was like >.> <.< is it dead? and DM was like -.-' *takes my char sheet, and rips it in half* epic level rogues are sooo fun to play as XD

actually i was talking to my friend about that same senario where you stab with a dagger do 1d4 of damage yet still kill the monster with sneak attack damage.

this is why rogues are far superior then any other class >.>' they just start off sooo very very weak...a leave falls on you from a near by tree, you're now at -7 hp =x

[spyworks666]

another thing you dont want to hear is "What do you mean I missed with a Natual 20?"

[Darth Moren]

Rogues are superior to some classes, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're superior to all classes. Rogues, with their relatively low AC, as well as somewhat squishy HP, and low Fortitude saves, leave them VERY open to a lot of very nasty stuff in mid-late game. The Power Word spells, for example. Or Death effects. Or things that are immune to criticals (and therefore sneak attack, etc).

No, in late game, the mages reign supreme. Always remember: "High-level melee classes get to play the same game they've always been playing. This game can be called D&D. High-level mages get to play the all-new games of Rocket Launcher Tag and "Lets Bone Reality Up The Backside" and no one else is allowed to play."

[Seiryna]

Sith Lord Darth Moren

Rogues are superior to some classes, but I wouldn't go so far as to say that they're superior to all classes. Rogues, with their relatively low AC, as well as somewhat squishy HP, and low Fortitude saves, leave them VERY open to a lot of very nasty stuff in mid-late game. The Power Word spells, for example. Or Death effects. Or things that are immune to criticals (and therefore sneak attack, etc).

No, in late game, the mages reign supreme. Always remember: "High-level melee classes get to play the same game they've always been playing. This game can be called D&D. High-level mages get to play the all-new games of Rocket Launcher Tag and "Lets Bone Reality Up The Backside" and no one else is allowed to play."

people who thinks mages > all
fail at melee XD you have to see me to cast a spell at me. line of sight is a b***h.
rogue hide/move silently
mage go ahead try to roll a spot check. you'll never see me coming. and with your even lowering hp and ac then rogues you are very very squishy and easy to one hit. freak a barbarian can one hit you guys in rage.
I have never had a trouble with mages in D&D, early or late game. and the only thing late game immune to crits late game are oozes and how often to people uses oozes?

[Darth Moren]

If the late-game mage is getting owned by a rogue, or a barbarian, then the mage is obviously not doing his job properly. Good luck getting close to that wizard when he's known you'd be coming for the past week. Hell, even a simple Blink spell will mess with the Rogue. And then there's metamagic feats, like Quicken Spell, which mess with the Rogue even further.

The Rogue's got one trick. The mage has three dozen. Mage wins, I'm sorry. And I've played a rogue. I've played a BATMAN rogue who we had to write out of the campaign because I'd paranoia/logic my way past everything, and even I think that the high-level mage vs the high-level martial class will, about eight times out of ten, end in favour of the mage. It's just the way the game is designed.

[Seph Baelzara]

People who believe mages are inferior to ANY sneaky class has not statted out a 10th level mage (sorcerer or wizard, you pick) with "just" core books. There's enough divination for utter detection, and know how to plan for your demise.
A proper mage can, and will watch who he believes is going to kill him this week. Then with the idea in mind he'll set up the proper mental traps. Doors that aren't trapped, but walls and floors that are. Treasure chests that aren't trapped, but hold cursed items, etc.
Going further into levels this mage will quickly be able to make Fate, and Reality his bitches. Warping each little detail that he doesn't like to his liking.

This is why I like E6.