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Beloved_fool
Here's one of my favorites:

So our party has a samurai-typed eastern warrior in it. He's in hot pursuit of some random guy who just stabbed a girl in the local tavern. So, our samurai takes his katana's scabbard and flings it at the guy, hoping to knock him out.

Well, the DM rolled a critical pass for the guy's dex check...so he leaps up, spins, and kicks the scabbard back at our samurai. Who then proceeds to critically fail his dex check, taking the scabbard across his knees and falling to the ground face first. xd


This one made me laugh for quite some time. heart
BloodyWhiteRose
Beloved_fool
Here's one of my favorites:

So our party has a samurai-typed eastern warrior in it. He's in hot pursuit of some random guy who just stabbed a girl in the local tavern. So, our samurai takes his katana's scabbard and flings it at the guy, hoping to knock him out.

Well, the DM rolled a critical pass for the guy's dex check...so he leaps up, spins, and kicks the scabbard back at our samurai. Who then proceeds to critically fail his dex check, taking the scabbard across his knees and falling to the ground face first. xd


This one made me laugh for quite some time. heart


Yah, our samurai has this loveable tendency to critically fail things at the most inopportune moments. blaugh
some friends told me about this one. they were playing vampire masquerade and one of them tapped the wrong guy on the shoulder. this guy was a silver fang clan werewolf (very easy to piss off. doubly so for vampires). the werewolf locked them in a dumpster and dropped a chevy on the lid. they were stuck.... for a long time.....
In one campaign, I have a friend who was playing this odd boulder creature thing.

INT=3

As we were travelling, we came across a pack of intelligent talking space camels, who were willing to sell us a brain in a jar to implant in our rock friend.

We obtained for him a cow's brain, which allowed him enhanced intelligence, 2 languages (because cows are bilingual), and laser pistol proficiency.

We were from then on dreading a cow-based encounter.
In Vampire the Masquerade the prince gave us territory on the border of Sabbat territory at the same time something was killing Tremere. Our groups learder was a Tremere. The group split up into two groups of three. My group did fine but the other group was wiped out. Our Gangrel was killed first round by another Gangrel. Our Tremere had a grenade with the pin pulled holding on to the handle while trying to dodge three other vampires for about five minutes until he got staked and dropped it. Then our Malkavian used the self-destruct on the battle van to kill everything. This ended the encounter and took out a city block.
Best personal moment: The Gazebo of DOOOOOOM!

So we're playing our second Vampire: The Masquerade campaign and we end up going back to a house we'd been to before (our usual final battle setting). When we got there, one thing had changed: the backyard now had a gazebo. We spent 10 minutes trying to figure out what the deal was with the gazebo. My Malkavian even Astral Projected himself under the thing! Turns out it was just an Evil GM trick. biggrin

Best moment I've ever been witness to: The Spraying

We're playing my friends Alexandria campaign. The ST is behind me up on a kitchen ledge, while 2 players are having a conversation. One (played by my friend Eryn) was an important vampire in the city, while the other (played by my friend Mel) was an art gallery curator who had a run-in with some freaky wierdness, and wanted some answers right f**king now. Eryn's character was still being Little Miss Screw You, when Mel, in character and pissed off, says "Why are you such a b***h?" Evidently, the ST found this the funniest thing ever, which is bad, because of 2 things.

1. She had just taken a drink of Coke.
2. I was right in front of her.

Not to mention the fact that I had just made a new and improved character sheet... eek scream xp

(BTW, if I ever get Paranoia XP, I'm doing that Matter Eater + Box Of Grenades thing. That's just gold, man!)
Alright, my story begins the second, and last session I've had so far in a table-top RPG called BeSM, anyways my group consisted of some sort of naive tech genius chick, a mecha pilot, and another mecha pilot (me). Well, we run into this fortress that we can't seem to get into, no matter how hard we try, so I get this brilliant idea to use this mecha I have, which is actually a piece of crap starship named Rustbucket to blow down the wall, because I had an orbital bombardment cannon on it just for that kinda stuff... the good thing was that my ship could easily destroy the wall thanks to its 20d20 attack, but unfortunatly the ship has a 20 point accuracy deduction, due to it's extreme range. So whenever I try to hit even stationary objects, they have to get a roll of 1 or 2, the only thing keeping it from not being able to hit anything at all was my extremely dexterous gunners.
Ok, so I brilliantly planned to call an orbital strike on the wall so we could simply walk through, and that's just what I attempted to do, except that, the first 6 or 7 shots missed and hit various pedestrians, houses, stores, you name it. I had single handedly driven the entire city that this fortress was located at into madness, when finally I had 'hit' the wall, which, as I'd found out much to my dismay, was protected by an insanely powerful force field, which blocked my shot. I wanted to cry...it takes an annoying amount of time to roll 20 times over and over again. x-x
Not my story, but anyway...

My friend was playing in her brother's 2E D&D campaign as a swanmay (can shapeshift from swan form to human female). When one of the characters asked her name, her brother piped up with:

"Well, my friends call me 'HOOOONK'!"
Don't Annoy the DM. EVER.

One of my party members told our DM (nicknamed Quazza) about 6 months ago that his race of beings, Quazzas (all powerful SM creatures with awesome dex and best used as rogues or mages) looked like deformed gnomes.

PC: "So really, quazzas are like deformed gnomes, eh?"
DM: "You get struck by lightning coming from the.. There's no clouds. You're on 5hp."
PC: "Whoa.."

So the party walked into a cave and saw a Fire Quazza, one of the evil beings that we're out to stop from destroying the world. It seemingly turned into a Red Dragon, and to level 3/4ish PCs, this is not a good thing.
Long story short, the PC with a lightning scar on the top of his head took some illusionary dragon fire to the face, critically failed the check and died. Within the space of about 5 minutes he went from our strongest party member to a pile of dust. He still doesn't know that the dragon wasn't real!
Well me n my party where in a Mutant hobgoblin/orc Tunnel system when i tripped a trap making a section of the roof fall in on us. only problem being it was a BIG section of the room while me and one of my mates made our checks and dived out of its way the cleric in our team with pitiful dex just whent "BAH i disbelieve in the massive block hurtling towards my head"..... as you can imagine he went squish. my character the proceded to go " Dammit i just gave him some sweet magic items aswell"
Oh i got another one. After the Cleric he decided to make a bard. So there we are Heading towards the next town n stuff through some canyons and as you can imagine some tone deaf bard plucking his harp and singing/screetching all the way. It attracted some attention, just happened to be some thunderbirds. My other mates Then proceded to beat the bard over the head with a silver shovel that was on hand whilst i spurred my horse down the cliff face falling the good 80 or so feet and using the horse to cushion my fall. then proceded to work my way back towards my mates when the thunderbirds struck with its call lightning and just happened to fry the unconcious Bard. (the guy with the dead cleric now dead bard doesn't have much luck when it comes to keeping chars alive if you didn't notice"
At one point me n a bunch of mates where playing ADOM (Ancient Domains Of Mystery) to death and the DM was getting sick of all the ADOM quotes and items and stuff like that so he therefore proclaimed that the next character to make a mention of adom would be smote by the gods. you can guess who's character decided to temp the fate of the gods cant you. yep he was rolling up another character sheet real quick
You only need to hear this conversation..

DM: You enter the city of-
Me: I search for the secret dungeon of unspeakable evil.
DM:Why would you...
ME:there's always a secret dungeon of unspeakable evil.
One search check, and one natural 20 later, we found the dungeon of unspeakable evil, thus bypassing several hours of gathering information!

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Sanjuro_Sakakida-san
You only need to hear this conversation..

DM: You enter the city of-
Me: I search for the secret dungeon of unspeakable evil.
DM:Why would you...
ME:there's always a secret dungeon of unspeakable evil.
One search check, and one natural 20 later, we found the dungeon of unspeakable evil, thus bypassing several hours of gathering information!


Why does every city have a dungeon? I want to know! I live in Orlando, and I'm yet to see any dungeons!
My halfling fighter was sudduced by a golem like human and crushed by the 20 ton brute.

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