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SufferingPlanet
Blace_5555
Sith Lord Darth Moren
Actually, it had nothing to do with them worshipping a DIFFERENT god, just that they followed a god at all. Yeah, this was an Evil campaign. The party's goal was to wipe out the existing gods, and possibly replace them. One way to weaken a god was to destroy their followers.

So, the "killphrase" during the campaign became, "What god do you worship?" Anyone answering anything other than "None" was summarily executed.


So more like "Worship us or we'll send you to the Nine Hells!"
No, more like "What's that? You have faith in the gods? Well, let's kill you so we can kill your gods later."


A god/godess: *Shivers* I feel a disturbance like a storm is brewing and i'm caught in the middle of it.
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Blace_5555
SufferingPlanet
Blace_5555
Sith Lord Darth Moren
Actually, it had nothing to do with them worshipping a DIFFERENT god, just that they followed a god at all. Yeah, this was an Evil campaign. The party's goal was to wipe out the existing gods, and possibly replace them. One way to weaken a god was to destroy their followers.

So, the "killphrase" during the campaign became, "What god do you worship?" Anyone answering anything other than "None" was summarily executed.


So more like "Worship us or we'll send you to the Nine Hells!"
No, more like "What's that? You have faith in the gods? Well, let's kill you so we can kill your gods later."


A god/godess: *Shivers* I feel a disturbance like a storm is brewing and i'm caught in the middle of it.
They were all caught in it. We planned to destroy all gods.
Had another epic story from this past game session. =) The cleric has a thing for one of the NPCs, but since no one can remember her name... They refer to her as the 'GILF' seriously... His character would like to get between the sheets of the other cleric who is a grandmother to one of the other members...
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FallenSin
Had another epic story from this past game session. =) The cleric has a thing for one of the NPCs, but since no one can remember her name... They refer to her as the 'GILF' seriously... His character would like to get between the sheets of the other cleric who is a grandmother to one of the other members...


Not sure if i should laugh at that or barf.
Blace_5555
FallenSin
Had another epic story from this past game session. =) The cleric has a thing for one of the NPCs, but since no one can remember her name... They refer to her as the 'GILF' seriously... His character would like to get between the sheets of the other cleric who is a grandmother to one of the other members...


Not sure if i should laugh at that or barf.


I'm fairly certain our group is divided. I'm trying to remain unbiased as the DM, but it's quite difficult. Thankfully I don't run the caravan adventures because the system was very confusing in the Jade Regent's Player Guide. =/ So they have little enough interaction as it is.
My bard just casually waltzed through a Prismatic Wall like it was no thang. He previously exploded at a ghoul, taking it down with him (triple 1s...sometimes it's so fail, it's a win!).
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SaintTape
My bard just casually waltzed through a Prismatic Wall like it was no thang. He previously exploded at a ghoul, taking it down with him (triple 1s...sometimes it's so fail, it's a win!).

Ha hilarious. It reminds we of a video series called Unforgotten Realms where the main character was cursed by a judge so that if he ever insulted him again he'd explode.

He exploded 3 times but the first two were undone by the DM running the game.
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Shad Woest
I've only recently started playing, and with a small party too.
I have a Elven Druid, and my friend is a normal Human Pally zealot, worshipping Paelor.
His goal is to convert, in any way possible, the peoples of the world.
I see him standing on a wooden box preaching on a street corner, and annoyed by what I hear, chuck a rock at him.
He smashes the box and envelops himself in a holy light, scaring away his audience.
He then proceeds to walk towards me and punch me, knocking me straight onto the ground.
Dazed, I use my Animal Messenger as he starts to walk away, sending a 'subtle' message of 'Jackass :c' via a small bird.
He kills the bird, then asks how attached I was to it.
I tell him, 'well, I love all of natures creations, why?'
Throws the dead bird at me.

I enjoy the randomness of this game. c:

I tip good avi's.
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One from a campaign I'm presently in:
Our party has been collecting a series of items that we can best describe as artifacts. Now, actual rules, they're not artifacts, but our characters don't know the difference because they're insanely powerful items anyways.

We down a big bad villain and we obtain the artifact "Boccob's Orb". The artifacts are all related to various deities, but are not made by them. Heironious's Blade, Moradin's Hammer, Tiamat's Wrath, Fharlanghn's Vest, etc. The artifacts also favour different things, like Heironious' Blade prefers the devout who can wield it and punished evil. Tiamat's Wrath murder's dragons, plain and simple.

So back to the story... Boccob's Orb, well... Boccob is the god of Magic and knowledge. Let's let our wizard try it!

The wizard dons the orb and... Becomes engulfed in a prismatic sphere that slowly collapses upon him. When the sphere disappears, we find a pile of ash on the ground, the wizard is: Dead.

Sith Lord Darth Moren's character: "Did he just explode into a rainbow?!"
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OK, I have one for 3.5 and one for Pathfinder.

3.5: The party is the elf ranger, the human rogue, the human barbarian, the human cleric and his paladin brother and the halfling wizard.

We're fighting Stirges in a cave. The wizard manages to plaster most of them to the roof of the cave we're in with a web spell, and after the remaining ones are taken out, the barbarian looks up at the roof of the cave, throws his club at the Stirges, misses, but manages to catch his club.

Cue the paladin to look at his b*****d sword, throw it up at the Stirges, miss them, and catches the sword. In his chest. The Cleric runs over to heal his brother, and we have never let the paladin's player ever forget it.


Pathfinder: We were playing in the Krynn setting, my Kender rogue and a mad gnome. Catt, my Kender has a very special whistle carved from wood that she wears on a string around her neck. She's never traded it or lost it, because it's so special to her. Catt and the gnome find their way into a tower, and a magical owl steals Catts whistle.

Se throws a tantrum and has to be dragged out from the room by the gnome. Later in the session, the DM pulls out the Deck of many things, and by wonder of the draw, Catt accidently summons Paladine. First thing out of Catts mouth?
"You're here to bring my whistle back, right?!"
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Salaura
OK, I have one for 3.5 and one for Pathfinder.

3.5: The party is the elf ranger, the human rogue, the human barbarian, the human cleric and his paladin brother and the halfling wizard.

We're fighting Stirges in a cave. The wizard manages to plaster most of them to the roof of the cave we're in with a web spell, and after the remaining ones are taken out, the barbarian looks up at the roof of the cave, throws his club at the Stirges, misses, but manages to catch his club.

Cue the paladin to look at his b*****d sword, throw it up at the Stirges, miss them, and catches the sword. In his chest. The Cleric runs over to heal his brother, and we have never let the paladin's player ever forget it.


Pathfinder: We were playing in the Krynn setting, my Kender rogue and a mad gnome. Catt, my Kender has a very special whistle carved from wood that she wears on a string around her neck. She's never traded it or lost it, because it's so special to her. Catt and the gnome find their way into a tower, and a magical owl steals Catts whistle.

Se throws a tantrum and has to be dragged out from the room by the gnome. Later in the session, the DM pulls out the Deck of many things, and by wonder of the draw, Catt accidently summons Paladine. First thing out of Catts mouth?
"You're here to bring my whistle back, right?!"

The 3.5 one: epic facepalm. and no one thought of using a bow or crossbow.
The Pathfinder one: Haha summons the god of light and goodness to get back her special whistle. Now thats awesome.
When i first started DM'ing i thought the game was supposed to be run like World of Warcraft and it was a dungeon crawl, boss looting slug fest. needless to say, none of my friends and I really knew what we were doing. Even though we never really started playing until 2006, we started with 2nd edition AD&D
First dungeon i ever made was pretty straightforward and it was called Orc Castle. There were 6 really hard bosses and a bunch of mooks places in random a** places that you would expect in an MMO. first boss was an Orc Ranger and his Animal Companion, a dire wolf named Sasha.
The party, being the stupid badasses they were barreled into the keep slaughtering the battalion of orc in the courtyard and run to fight the ranger boss. Sasha was patrolling the battlements while her master engaged the party. Sasha leaped from the battlements and landed on the party's strongest fighter, pinning him to the ground and she he kept biting and ripping at his throat.
For some reason it took him 2 rounds to finally throw the wolf off of him. After he did she rolled a 20, pinning him back on the ground again. By the time the party finally downed the boss (he had a ring of blinking and a ring of mirror image) the fighter finally killed Sasha. It was really funny because we allowed the player for poops and giggles to roll a d30 for stats, so he had like 30 strength and 28 con allowing a ton of hit points and Sasha managed to get him down to like 4 HP.
After the encounter, the party determined that Sasha (who had like 20 hp) was the most dangerous enemy in Orc Castle, even more dangerous than the orc king, who had the Hammer of Thunderbolts and over 200 HP in 2nd edition XD

last year i think i made a pretty interesting character. It was a sorcerer, who in his backstory was a healer and he continued this career until he discovered his arcane abilities.
Our party was an Orc Monk/Bard, Elf Fighter, Dragonborn Paladin, and a Human Sorceror (me). We encountered the big bad party. it was a group of adventurer's that turned evil. The opposing sorcerer cast some sort of spell and hit the Paladin for a crapton of hits points (i had no points in spellcraft so i had no idea what he cast) and killed him. He then cut our fighter's throat and then they left. Our fighter was disabled and going into negative HP when i stablized her by using Burning Hands to cauterize her wound, stablizing her.
I then turned to the Paladin and found out he was dead. In a panic i said "Im going to cast Shocking Grasp on his heart and delifilibrate him!"
the DM, surprised was like "uhh....DC of 25?"
BAM! rolled 19 (+7 Healing skill)
I saved two party members from death after our only healer (a paladin with like maybe 25 points for lay on hands) went down like a ton of bricks
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Through as series of dumb decisions, we managed to turn the brother of one of the PC's into an alcohol elemental. And then telling him his brother died created a day of the year where alcohol brings no joy. :<
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A few years back a friend of my ex's wanted to try his hand at DM-ing. My ex, a ranger, and his friend(for animosity's sake we'll call him J),a priest took the right path, while my rogue and our resident fighter took the left path.

Well, my ex and J stumbled upon this giant undead creature. It was have sticking out of a sand pit, only cause there wasn't enough room for it get out all the way. So the Priest tries to turn it and the monster looks at him and, literally smashes him to dust. Just one punch- BAM!. One of the funniest things to ever happen in our campaigns.

Another one, was when my level 13 Fighter got a Belt of Ogre's Strength, officially bumping her strength to a natural 26 and prestige classed to a Dragon Slayer in one fell swoop. She was able to one hit kill multiple Mind Flares. I've never been prouder of a character
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warlord_stuart
When i first started DM'ing i thought the game was supposed to be run like World of Warcraft and it was a dungeon crawl, boss looting slug fest. needless to say, none of my friends and I really knew what we were doing. Even though we never really started playing until 2006, we started with 2nd edition AD&D
First dungeon i ever made was pretty straightforward and it was called Orc Castle. There were 6 really hard bosses and a bunch of mooks places in random a** places that you would expect in an MMO. first boss was an Orc Ranger and his Animal Companion, a dire wolf named Sasha.
The party, being the stupid badasses they were barreled into the keep slaughtering the battalion of orc in the courtyard and run to fight the ranger boss. Sasha was patrolling the battlements while her master engaged the party. Sasha leaped from the battlements and landed on the party's strongest fighter, pinning him to the ground and she he kept biting and ripping at his throat.
For some reason it took him 2 rounds to finally throw the wolf off of him. After he did she rolled a 20, pinning him back on the ground again. By the time the party finally downed the boss (he had a ring of blinking and a ring of mirror image) the fighter finally killed Sasha. It was really funny because we allowed the player for poops and giggles to roll a d30 for stats, so he had like 30 strength and 28 con allowing a ton of hit points and Sasha managed to get him down to like 4 HP.
After the encounter, the party determined that Sasha (who had like 20 hp) was the most dangerous enemy in Orc Castle, even more dangerous than the orc king, who had the Hammer of Thunderbolts and over 200 HP in 2nd edition XD

last year i think i made a pretty interesting character. It was a sorcerer, who in his backstory was a healer and he continued this career until he discovered his arcane abilities.
Our party was an Orc Monk/Bard, Elf Fighter, Dragonborn Paladin, and a Human Sorceror (me). We encountered the big bad party. it was a group of adventurer's that turned evil. The opposing sorcerer cast some sort of spell and hit the Paladin for a crapton of hits points (i had no points in spellcraft so i had no idea what he cast) and killed him. He then cut our fighter's throat and then they left. Our fighter was disabled and going into negative HP when i stablized her by using Burning Hands to cauterize her wound, stablizing her.
I then turned to the Paladin and found out he was dead. In a panic i said "Im going to cast Shocking Grasp on his heart and delifilibrate him!"
the DM, surprised was like "uhh....DC of 25?"
BAM! rolled 19 (+7 Healing skill)
I saved two party members from death after our only healer (a paladin with like maybe 25 points for lay on hands) went down like a ton of bricks


Heh the wolf from HELL!
And using a normally damaging spell to somehow stabilize people is awesome too.

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