D&D the peoples storys.

[Palasquall]

Post D&D storys here.

Dm: Ok the dragon is wounded and flying away.
Rogue:I fire my sword at it with my bow.
Dm:*thinks it isnt gonna work* ok roll
Rogue:*rolls a nat 20 and a 6 on a d8*
Dm: The dragon falls and dies.

[Sprx117]

K I have several
DM:You are walking down a long dark corridor and then are confronted by a great wyrm red dragon what do you do Warrior in front?
Me as the cleric in the back: You mean before or after he shits his pants

I got this one from a friend dont know where he got it from
DM:you encounter a gazebo what do you do?
Warrior: I attack the gazebo (Rolls D20 and shouts number)
DM: you miss
Sorcerer:I use Magic Missle (rolls damage)
DM: it has no effect
Warrior: I run from the gazebo
DM: To late you have angered the gazebo it attacks you

and for those that dont know what a gazebo is basically its something in a park that provides benches and shade.

[Crion_dm459]

Well, today had a fun quote...

*party gets plane shifted*
DM: The colors are like an LSD trip.
Samurai: On crack!
Me: On speed.
The sorcerer: Oooooh...puurtey colurz...


Then again, a one shot game of mine was funny.
Half red dragon gets nailed by a firedrake.
Him: You call this hot!
Rogue: I got the marshmallows!

Ok..now a serous one...

The party is out buying horses so that they can keep up with my knight. Once it is all done, I speak (yeah...with a 9 INT...I should NEVER speak).

Me: Alright! We are all being mounted!
*The DM shakes his head in despair, I grin, and the bard goes wide eyed*
Current OOC b/f of Bard: She might enjoy that too much.

[TheDiceman]

Sprx117

K I have several
DM:You are walking down a long dark corridor and then are confronted by a great wyrm red dragon what do you do Warrior in front?
Me as the cleric in the back: You mean before or after he shits his pants

I got this one from a friend dont know where he got it from
DM:you encounter a gazebo what do you do?
Warrior: I attack the gazebo (Rolls D20 and shouts number)
DM: you miss
Sorcerer:I use Magic Missle (rolls damage)
DM: it has no effect
Warrior: I run from the gazebo
DM: To late you have angered the gazebo it attacks you

and for those that dont know what a gazebo is basically its something in a park that provides benches and shade.

That Gazebo tale is from The Knights of the Dinner Table.

[the_spooky]

A tale of a natural 20, I'm the DM:

DM: so the red hatchling starts eating the woman's face. She screams, and three guards come running up. They ask you: What's going on here? I heard a scream!

PC1 (CE kender sorcerer): Oh, that was me, I had a hand in her pocket, and she kicked me right in the crotch. Yeah, I sound just like a girl when that happens...

DM: I don't believe you...

PC: Well, go ahead and try it.

DM: okay... he kicks you. ::rolls damage, the guard was a monk:: (To the PC) Take 12 points of nonleathal damage and make a Bluff check.

PC: ::Rolls a d20:: Natural 20!

DM: ::sighs:: Deep in your soul lies the heart of a blue dragon. You tap into its mimicry abilities and sound just like that screaming girl. The guards shake their heads and walk away.

PC1 to PC2: ::groans:: You owe me...

[faradaysdisciple]

I'm a low wisdom barbarian being followed around by the ghost of his wife sitting at a table with a high charisma paladin who is being hit on by the inn keeper. I make a sense motive check and think she's hitting on me so I flirt back a bit. My wife later steals her life energy aging her to about 80, and I end up having hallocination of my wife looking angrily at any woman I speak with. This is also the game that taught me that having sex gives you a +1 bonus to charisma because you're "glowing".

[The Shotgun Ninja]

OOC Me: He (pointing at the gnome thief who help me create this plan) is gonna use his Discise skill on me to make me look like the fighter, then I'm gonna run through town causing all kinds of hell, killing people, setting kids on fire, things like that, then I'm gonna run into an alley and remove the discise and he (the gnome again) is gonna rough me up. The gnome is then gonna run out and get the guards and I'm gonna tell them where the fighter is.
DM: *laughs* roll it
The discise worked and he (due to the townspeople being so low leveled) didn't make me roll. When the fighter walked into town the guards swarmed him like bees to honey.
Thats what he gets for killing my Eagle.
mwa ha

[Skarburn]

DM: Okay. Now we have the Annihilation beast. Who shall I use his breathe weapon on first?
Me: MEE!! MEMEMEMEME!!!
DM: Okay. Roll your reflex.*Rolls natural 1*
DM: Skarburn, roll a new character.

The idea is that his breathe weapon is instant DEATH...

[Master Twibble]

Gab: I look for a rock.
Dm: You see a rock.
Gab: I pick it up.
Dm: ...ok...
-5 min later-
Dm: You see a glowing puddle of water...
Gab: I throw the rock at it.
Dm: You break the long sword infused with the power of ice that was in the puddle.
Gab: I pick up the rock.
-later while fighting a ice beast we we're split into two parties to kill an ice beast and fire beast who kidnapped children or something... gab was in the other party so its me the cleric, the fighter and a wizard-
Wizard (named Treg) : I'm not opening the door.
Fighter (named G) : Skuld open the door.
me: ...fine... *opens the door* gets blasted by ice and knocked into the wall behind us...
Dm: Your Freezing.
Gab: You see if you had a rock you'd be fine.
Me: I'll remember that...
Dm: Take 3 damage Skuld...
me: ...for what?
Dm: Frostbite.
me: uncool
Treg: MAGIC MISSILE!
Dm: at?
Treg: Skuld!
.....he was trying to unfreeze me or something... I don't even know...

[Master Twibble]

once Treg jumpped into a town fountain.... naked....

...that was interesting...

[Revlon Nitemare]

Skuld Gnosis

once Treg jumpped into a town fountain.... naked....

...that was interesting...

xp he really is too attached to that fountian...
pity we blew it up.... xd