Critical Failure (D&D)

[TaraLendil]

My GM uses these Critical Hit/Critical Fumble tables that eveyone in my group loves. Sure, on a 1 you can hit your friend for twice the normal damage or knock yourself out, but on a 20 you could manage to kill the monster you'e fighting in one blow. It really adds an intersting element in battle.

As for my best critical 1 story...Happened in my Forgotten Realms camapign. I was playing my rather naive Paladin of Lathander, and, because we have no real healers in the party, my Lay on Hands often meant the difference between losing a character or not. Well, what had happened was the NPC bard in out party (who was in disguise to hide from assasins) got rended by a wizard with the spell Claws of the Bebilith (sp?). Completely lost her armor and clothing, and was going to die the next round if we didn't do something quick.

My paladin had a huge crush on her, so he distracted the wizard and ran in to heal her. However, my GM told me to have my character make a spot check for something. And I rolled a 1. Completely missed the fact that our now naked "female" bard had a few, um...parts a female shouldn't have. She was actually a he. And my character didn't even notice until another character pointed it out. That was quite a revelation to my innocent little paladin...

[GaijinGuy36]

TaraLendil

My GM uses these Critical Hit/Critical Fumble tables that eveyone in my group loves. Sure, on a 1 you can hit your friend for twice the normal damage or knock yourself out, but on a 20 you could manage to kill the monster you'e fighting in one blow. It really adds an intersting element in battle.

As for my best critical 1 story...Happened in my Forgotten Realms camapign. I was playing my rather naive Paladin of Lathander, and, because we have no real healers in the party, my Lay on Hands often meant the difference between losing a character or not. Well, what had happened was the NPC bard in out party (who was in disguise to hide from assasins) got rended by a wizard with the spell Claws of the Bebilith (sp?). Completely lost her armor and clothing, and was going to die the next round if we didn't do something quick.

My paladin had a huge crush on her, so he distracted the wizard and ran in to heal her. However, my GM told me to have my character make a spot check for something. And I rolled a 1. Completely missed the fact that our now naked "female" bard had a few, um...parts a female shouldn't have. She was actually a he. And my character didn't even notice until another character pointed it out. That was quite a revelation to my innocent little paladin...

Oh, that's hilarious! Just like a little Catholic boy finally going to his first titty bar...and then some! rofl

[Maraxas]

I used a house rules weapon (Zanbato) and Rolled a natural 1 on my attack role. I cleft the party theif in two by accident.

Worst ever. First off One of my friends said that the next critical miss should be a "Lodged in ally." to which I complied

My friend was playing a monk. 6'6", 250 lbs. Black, with an 18 STR. He decided that his next unarmed attack was gonna be a "cockslap.".

Second friend was playing a small elf ninja. We're talking 4'6" and maybe 70lbs if he is lucky. All he was wearing was silk pants and top.

Anyways the Monk rolled a 1 on his next attack roll. "Lodged in Ally." but the only ally near by was the Ninja. Well knowing my players, they already had a scenario in their minds. This huge black guy goes and rams his c**k right up the ninja's a**. Needless to say, the Ninja lost his virginity to a party member and we have not forgot about that one.

[Yui_hime]

kupo kupo!!!

Crit fails do not make any sense.
Think about it a lvl 1 fighter has 1 attack a round with a 5% chance to ******** up.
Now a lvl 20 fighter has 4 attacks a round with a 5% chance on each to ******** up.
kinda stupid

Not at all! Just a reminder that ANYONE can mess up once in a while.

[TaraLendil]

Gaijin32

TaraLendil

My GM uses these Critical Hit/Critical Fumble tables that eveyone in my group loves. Sure, on a 1 you can hit your friend for twice the normal damage or knock yourself out, but on a 20 you could manage to kill the monster you'e fighting in one blow. It really adds an intersting element in battle.

As for my best critical 1 story...Happened in my Forgotten Realms camapign. I was playing my rather naive Paladin of Lathander, and, because we have no real healers in the party, my Lay on Hands often meant the difference between losing a character or not. Well, what had happened was the NPC bard in out party (who was in disguise to hide from assasins) got rended by a wizard with the spell Claws of the Bebilith (sp?). Completely lost her armor and clothing, and was going to die the next round if we didn't do something quick.

My paladin had a huge crush on her, so he distracted the wizard and ran in to heal her. However, my GM told me to have my character make a spot check for something. And I rolled a 1. Completely missed the fact that our now naked "female" bard had a few, um...parts a female shouldn't have. She was actually a he. And my character didn't even notice until another character pointed it out. That was quite a revelation to my innocent little paladin...

Oh, that's hilarious! Just like a little atholic boy finally going to his first titty bar...and then some! rofl

*sings* I wanna take you to a gay bar...

Even better when you find out that, due to my paladin having a Dex of 9, the GM has ruled that occationally, my Lay on Hands doesn't land where it's supposed to. And it was only by 1 that my hands didn't land in a place that would have made that fact unavoidable. I'd already offended a female member of the party by accidentally feeling her up... sweatdrop

[MageKillingMonk]

I fell forty feet to impending doom. that was my first.
My best crit fail situation, if there is such a thing:
disable device, balance, will. all 1's.
In a row.

I was electrocuted by a magical trap on a cupboard. I then tripped over a bench while backing away from the cupboard. I twisted mid fall and landed face first in naked man a** with my hands on a grease fire on the stove. I throw up on my hands to put them out, and go unconscious.

[GaijinGuy36]

MageKillingMonk

I fell forty feet to impending doom. that was my first.
My best crit fail situation, if there is such a thing:
disable device, balance, will. all 1's.
In a row.

I was electrocuted by a magical trap on a cupboard. I then tripped over a bench while backing away from the cupboard. I twisted mid fall and landed face first in naked man a** with my hands on a grease fire on the stove. I throw up on my hands to put them out, and go unconscious.

Ouch. xd

[Dragon_Paragon]

You know what I find absolutely hilarious?

When half the party contracts lycanthropy from fighting one three hit die werewolf. Those had to be the worst Fort saves I've ever seen. On the up side, they're pretty good at making those Wisdom checks to stop themselves from going nuts xD

[GaijinGuy36]

Bump!

[TripleThreat_Mule]

I Dm sumtimes and I use the good hits/bad missus tables in the Drgon Compendium. 3nodding It makes things interesting!!!

[[-SquirrelXLover-]]

Maraxas

Worst ever. First off One of my friends said that the next critical miss should be a "Lodged in ally." to which I complied

My friend was playing a monk. 6'6", 250 lbs. Black, with an 18 STR. He decided that his next unarmed attack was gonna be a "cockslap.".

Second friend was playing a small elf ninja. We're talking 4'6" and maybe 70lbs if he is lucky. All he was wearing was silk pants and top.

Anyways the Monk rolled a 1 on his next attack roll. "Lodged in Ally." but the only ally near by was the Ninja. Well knowing my players, they already had a scenario in their minds. This huge black guy goes and rams his c**k right up the ninja's a**. Needless to say, the Ninja lost his virginity to a party member and we have not forgot about that one.

LOL That's awesome. I laughed so hard.

[Draaggon]

Most recently we were fighting a Tomb Spider (MM III), and on a web throw attack it got a natural 1. After about 30 minutes of debate and 1d4 rolling, we decided that it trapped the other one in the room in the web. Considering we have 2 rogues in the party, this would've been sweet, but the trapped spider nat 20d on the strength check to bust out- 2 seconds after being trapped.

[Bentham]

We played a campaign where I was a changeling looking for information in the local tavern.

Me: I ask the barkeeper if anybody nearby has a great deal of respect in town.
DM: You notice that nobody in the bar is interested in talking to you.
Me: I roll for a persuasion check *rolls an 8*
DM: No luck.
Me: I'm a changeling, so I look around the bar for somebody who everybody really seems to like.
DM: Roll for it.
ME: *rolls a 1* Crap.
DM: You're looking for somebody who everybody will like, when a tiny goblin with a high-pitched voice enters the tavern and starts saying "WELL HEYYYYY EVERYBODY hey jim howdy hey hey hey how ya doin hey what's up how are you?" And you think to yourself, this guy has just the spunk needed to get people to open up to you.
ME: So what happens?
DM: You kill him and take his form.
ME: Okay, I try talking to the barkeeper again.
DM: Roll.
ME: *rolls another 1*
DM: A massive troll breaks open the door and drags in a huge club screaming "WHERE THE HELL IS THAT GOBLIN WHO OWES ME 1000 GOLD?! I'LL KILL HIM!"

[Yui_hime]

A mohrg is trying to attack the party's (level 5) cleric. Basically, the only way it can fail to hit her is by natural 1.

Which it rolls.

Three consecutive turns.

While everyone else in the party takes it down. sweatdrop

[Aetheilas]

I LOVE THAT RULE!

The first game I used it, our 8' orc barbarian nearly killed our pirate whilst fighting a possessed rabbit. On top of that, The rabbit kept getting crits and even a double crit.

The rabbit had 4 hp and lasted more than 6 turns before our 1st level wizard cast Magic Missile.