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The concept of a break could mean she just wants some time to herself, but it can also mean she wants to ease you into a breakup so there is less guilt. The most likely answer in my own opinion though is this:

She said she wants to get her life together, and she wants to do this without feeling like she is burdening you. At the same time, she does not want to lose you so calling it a break makes it more temporary so she will hope you will wait for her to get her s**t together.

It is possible the other posters might be right, but the above on what I said is the other alternative. Am I saying it is logical? no...no it is not...but emotions rarely are. She probably is not looking at it like that though...if anything she believes she is doing you a favor, even though it really is more of making you tag along until she feels content with her accomplishments. It sounds very selfish, but as I said she probably isn't even seeing that. She might feel you 2 do belong together.

You can try to discuss it with her, but that could also make it worse. Do so at your own discretion.

Anyways good luck with it all

Angelic Rogue

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I've seen a lot of couples go on breaks and none of them ever work out after. You're either together or you're not - there's no in between. Plus there's heaps of messy situations like seeing other people during breaks or what not, it never ends well at all.

Just tell her you're with her, thick or thin. You've been the best to her because you believe she deserves the best regardless whether or not she feels like she deserves it or not. Communicate with her properly, hope you all the best!

Timid Combatant

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Aimsir
Bit odd that you'd cancel plans because of a little rain. Maybe she didn't like your huffy attitude?

*huff*

*huuuff*

Shy Shapeshifter

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Raven Winter
Aimsir
Bit odd that you'd cancel plans because of a little rain. Maybe she didn't like your huffy attitude?

*huff*

*huuuff*


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I agree with everyone who has said that there is no such thing as "taking a break" in a serious relationship; you're either together or you're not. You should consider the relationship to be over and move on.

Sparkly Vampire

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Just A Black Cat
Okay so I've been dating my girlfriend for about a month to a month and a half. I'm a college student still and she just graduated last year. I go home every other weekend (sometimes every weekend) to work, but I only volunteered to stay to work really so I could have an excuse to see her. We've never really had problems until this past weekend. I was on fall break and we had some plans to go out to a bar so I could meet some of her friends from college, and then go out with the family to the pumpkin patch the next day. Well it rained the whole fall break. Both plans ended up being canceled. The next day she came over to my house to drop something off to my mom and I didn't know she was there. I ended up going in there and talking with them for a bit but not much because I was upset all of our plans got canceled and the rain just put me in a bad mood and I wasn't feeling too good.

So today I text her and we talk and I'd go into more detail but it'd take to long and I feel like this is a wall of text as it is, but she tells me she thinks we need to take a break. She says "I've been nothing but the best" and "she's been nothing but a debbie downer and dumb and needs to get her life together" and "she needs to get her life together for awhile. We're still friends, but she just needs some time." and she said October is full of stuff she has to do and is pretty busy.


This is my first ever serious relationship and I really like her. But I feel like this "break" is more like a "break up". Like, it's a relationship and I feel like there should be no breaks in a relationship. You're in it for a reason. Why do you need a break from it when I hardly see you in the first place? Or maybe I'm just being ignorant and salty?


Every time I've heard of people "taking breaks" in a relationship, it just seems more like a way to cut the cord without really cutting the cord. You guys have any thoughts, opinions, advice, ect...?


This is what a break is- an excuse to neglect your relationship and see other people while giving your partner the indignity of stringing them along and the false hope of having a normal relationship together in the future when its more convenient.

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I was talking to her and told her that I felt like there is no break in a relationship and if any "break" is needed you should say you're busy for awhile and if I don't hear as much from you I'd understand. I told her if she wanted to breakup because she felt like it wasn't working out or there is another person she'd interested in to just break up with me and I'd understand. People either take a break because somebody is too clingy, which I'm not, or there is another person in the picture. She said I wasn't too clingy and there is no other guy the picture- she literally has so much on her plate right now and she can't worry about herself and have herself fully invested into the relationship at the moment.

She told me she doesn't want to break up with me but felt like I want her too, which I don't, but still wants to be friends. She said she just needs a break because she's so busy and preoccupied. She said she doesn't plan on dating anyone while we aren't together and won't be mad if I did. I'm confused... you don't want to break up but still want to be friends? Am I missing something here? Because that doesn't make sense to me.

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Just A Black Cat
She said she doesn't plan on dating anyone while we aren't together and won't be mad if I did. I'm confused... you don't want to break up but still want to be friends?

You don't say this sorta thing if you're interested in someone.

She wants to keep you around as a "friend" - she's not interested in being your girlfriend. She's being really passive about it & hopes you just go away & find somebody else on your own.

Backwoods Duck

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This is coming from a female here.
First off, you have only been together for a month and only see each other on weekends. And she wants a "break" already? I'm sorry, but your gut feeling is right. She wants to break up with you.
Most of the time, what I've witnessed, when someone says they want a break, 90% of the time they've met someone else and they wanna ******** around with them without hurting you. Sorry, but she is nowhere NEAR ready for a commitment.
I would seriously be grateful though. Better now than 5 years later.
Chin up. It'll be all right.

Shameless Loiterer

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"Break" means one of three things, generally speaking:

1) I want to break up...but I don't have the balls to actually do it
2) I like you and all, but I want to ******** other people.
3) I am totally messed up right now, not worthy of or ready for a relationship, and need to work on myself without worrying about you or "us."

What all of these things have in common is that you have no control over the break(up) portion of it. You can only control your reaction. None of us know this chick, so we can't determine which is the most likely cause. The only reason of the bunch that is worth a s**t (depending on the circumstances) is the third one. Even so, that early into a relationship needing a break is a bit concerning.

From your last post, it sounds to me as if she either A) wants to break up but doesn't want to be the bad guy or B) has some deep seated emotional and/or self-confidence issues.

Regardless, the two of you are for all intents and purposes broken up. If you want to push another conversation with her to try and get more clarification, that's fine, but don't come off as needy.

For the time being if you can't get some immediate resolution to the situation, move on and look elsewhere. Keep her as a friend, or don't - that's up to you. Maybe it'll pan out further down the road, maybe it won't. Either way, don't let the break thing string you along. The situations where "breaks" are even remotely justified, let alone actually work out are few and far, far between.

Best of luck! heart

Moonlight Hunter

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Just A Black Cat
I was talking to her and told her that I felt like there is no break in a relationship and if any "break" is needed you should say you're busy for awhile and if I don't hear as much from you I'd understand. I told her if she wanted to breakup because she felt like it wasn't working out or there is another person she'd interested in to just break up with me and I'd understand. People either take a break because somebody is too clingy, which I'm not, or there is another person in the picture. She said I wasn't too clingy and there is no other guy the picture- she literally has so much on her plate right now and she can't worry about herself and have herself fully invested into the relationship at the moment.

She told me she doesn't want to break up with me but felt like I want her too, which I don't, but still wants to be friends. She said she just needs a break because she's so busy and preoccupied. She said she doesn't plan on dating anyone while we aren't together and won't be mad if I did. I'm confused... you don't want to break up but still want to be friends? Am I missing something here? Because that doesn't make sense to me.

Simply, I'd break up with her at this point. You guys barely ever meet up, and now she wants a break? This is shady as hell, And won't be mad if I did? That doesn't sound better at all. What she wants right now is to keep you as a friend, and you shouldn't let yourself get dragged around like that.

Dapper Ladykiller

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The girlie really wants a "break AWAY".

Let her go free so she can find herself, whatever that is.

And find a more faithful girl, too. neutral

Tasty Snack

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If I were you I'd just end it.

You haven't been together that long and a lasting relationship shouldn't come to a grinding halt because one person is busy. She could still date you and be your girlfriend if you don't see her all the time, but clearly she wants to stop for this "break" for whatever silly reason, so I say let her have it.

If she can't commit to something as simple as an occasional text or call, she probably isn't as vested in the relationship as you. Move on while you can, and don't put your life on hold for someone who won't give you her time.
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