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Okay so I've been dating my girlfriend for about a month to a month and a half. I'm a college student still and she just graduated last year. I go home every other weekend (sometimes every weekend) to work, but I only volunteered to stay to work really so I could have an excuse to see her. We've never really had problems until this past weekend. I was on fall break and we had some plans to go out to a bar so I could meet some of her friends from college, and then go out with the family to the pumpkin patch the next day. Well it rained the whole fall break. Both plans ended up being canceled. The next day she came over to my house to drop something off to my mom and I didn't know she was there. I ended up going in there and talking with them for a bit but not much because I was upset all of our plans got canceled and the rain just put me in a bad mood and I wasn't feeling too good.

So today I text her and we talk and I'd go into more detail but it'd take to long and I feel like this is a wall of text as it is, but she tells me she thinks we need to take a break. She says "I've been nothing but the best" and "she's been nothing but a debbie downer and dumb and needs to get her life together" and "she needs to get her life together for awhile. We're still friends, but she just needs some time." and she said October is full of stuff she has to do and is pretty busy.


This is my first ever serious relationship and I really like her. But I feel like this "break" is more like a "break up". Like, it's a relationship and I feel like there should be no breaks in a relationship. You're in it for a reason. Why do you need a break from it when I hardly see you in the first place? Or maybe I'm just being ignorant and salty?


Every time I've heard of people "taking breaks" in a relationship, it just seems more like a way to cut the cord without really cutting the cord. You guys have any thoughts, opinions, advice, ect...?

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I would ask her upfront about it - but you probably already have. You two only see each other on weekends, so it does seem a bit odd that she'd want more space. If it truly is just that she needs time to get stuff done, propose seeing each other every second weekend. It does seem a bit weird, but I can't pretend to know her mind.

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Girl's point of view here.
You are too sweet of a guy for her to break up with you and be the bad guy so she called it 'a break'. Relationships do not usually have breaks in them.

Or she just needs time to think if this relationship is worth it. You are in college and going back home just to see her. She probably feels like a burden to you.

Commanding Lieutenant

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There is no such thing as a "break" in a relationship. It's a lie, mostly women, tell themselves so they don'the have to be "the bad guy" and break up with you. It's a weak a** move for sure. Most women are groomed from a very early age to default to what men say and to not be "rude" aka telling the truth about how you really feel about someone. So this garbage is what happens.


Your relationship is done. I am concerned about her self negging though. It screams insecurity problems to me. If you want a real answer (you may not like the truth) demand she explain to you why she broke up with you, and refuse to continue this break bullshit. Draw a line, either you ate in a relationship or you are broken up. Accept no middle ground, soul crushing, drug out, bullshit known as "a break".

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WE WERE ON A BREAK!! scream

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Only a month into the relationship and she's already looking for a break. Sorry mate but this is not a serious relationship you're in and it doesn't sound like it's going to work out.

The cynic in me thinks she's banging other dudes. The pessimist thinks she's keeping you on the hook as a back up. No matter what the reason is; after only a month into the relationship and she starts pulling this s**t, I'd be cutting my losses and moving on.

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Whiskey Grey
Only a month into the relationship and she's already looking for a break. Sorry mate but this is not a serious relationship you're in and it doesn't sound like it's going to work out.

The cynic in me thinks she's banging other dudes. The pessimist thinks she's keeping you on the hook as a back up. No matter what the reason is; after only a month into the relationship and she starts pulling this s**t, I'd be cutting my losses and moving on.

Well when I say a month, I mean a month and a half since we've been "official". We've been hanging out / dating since back in May.

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I mean, what are you gonna do, make her keep going out with you? If she wants to "take a break", then you're done until she says otherwise, man. You've been dating for a month, however. I assume it just turned out that the reality differed unfavorably from her expectations.

As an aside, liking or disliking the rain is a point of preference, but you should try not to be a grump towards other people because it's raining. Even if it interferes with your plans, there's no reason to be upset over something you can't control, and less reason for it to affect the way you interact.

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She wants to ******** other dudes but still maybe have you to fall back on, OP. Christ you are dense.

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I dunno, man. While I think "breaks" are silly, and people should just call them what they are- a break up- I can't really side against her. I sort of understand get feeling like she needs to get her s**t together, and she sounds like she was trying to be cool about it. Like maybe she just needs some time.

But at the same time, I don't think you should feel tied to her. You shouldn't avoid other relationships in hopes that she'll come back to you. If she does, awesome, but if she doesn't, oh well, you know?

Good luck to you, dude heart

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Truthfully? There isn't such a thing called, "breaks" She wants to be single again so in the case in point. This sounds horrible as I write it down but break up with her. It sounds a little shady truth be told and you as a person do not or should not be dragged through mud.

Shy Shapeshifter

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Have to agree with most posters, there isn't really such a thing as a break. Generally when someone wants a break it means they want to break up. Sit down and have a chat with her, find out what she really wants to do. Ask direct if she just wants to just break up, because at the end of the day your feelings (and hers) are on the line if she's dragging this out longer than necessary.

Bit odd that you'd cancel plans because of a little rain. Maybe she didn't like your huffy attitude?
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