The Willow Of Darkness
britt1110
The Willow Of Darkness
britt1110
I've seen this thinking going around a lot lately amongst some trans people I know and fellow allies, and it's usually towards homosexual people. For example, I've seen some trans girls say it's transphobic for a lesbian not to be attracted to them [them being transwomen in general]. However, it's typical of lesbians to date and/or have sex with other women with vaginas. (not saying that all cisgender lesbians are like this but that's usually how it's seen). How is it transphobic to not want to be with someone who has a p***s when you're attracted to individuals [girls] with vaginas?
I understand that in a real life situation where a cis person encounters a trans person, things would turn out in a number of way. But overall, is it wrong to not be attracted to/not want to date a transgender person because of their genitals being different from their gender? I know there are a lot of factors that go into thinking this way, like sexuality, gender and sex, and preference, and how people define these things.
Basically, if you do feel it's transphobic not to want to be with a trans person could you explain why?
Also if this is new to you, or even if it's not, share your opinions.
**DISCLAIMER: I really am interested in this and want to try to understand this. I'm not just here trying to spew opinions. I know that I may have worder things in a way that may sound funny or not okay, but please try to bear with me. I want this topic to open up understanding for everyone.**
Depends what you are talking about. No-one is obligated to be attracted to anyone else. If someone doesn't find a given trans person attractive, there is nothing wrong with that. It is not really any different, for example, heterosexual person not being attracted to someone of the opposite sex.
People do, however, tend to make big proclamations about how they are only attracted to people with certain traits. In this context, which is appears you are talking about, it is absolutely transphobic. One cannot go around saying: "There is no way I could be attracted to a trans person." without taking the assumption trans people are disgusting because of their identity and body, to a point where the person making the statement could never be attracted to a trans person.
And the specific example you talked about, lesbians and trans women, is transphobic because it denies the womanhood of trans women. If someone says: "I'm lesbian. I'm attracted to women." and then claims the cannot be attracted to trans women because their genitals/physiology, they are placing trans women outside the category of women.
Ohhh I see now. So in this case, if a lesbian wanted to state how she's attracted to women with vaginas would she just say that? Or just say cis women? I assume it's not terriblely wrong to state that you're only into cis-women.
Not exactly. While that doesn't assert trans women aren't really women, it's still proclaiming there is no way someone could be attracted to a trans person, as if being trans was a trait which somehow made impossible for a person to be attractive.
Saying one is only into cis women is sort of a problem. It positions the trans woman as of lesser value when compared to other women. Why does someone need to proclaim to the world that trans women (supposedly) could never be attractive to them? One does not need to assert such a thing to express how they aren't attracted to a given trans women. If someone says they "only into X," they are talking about the attraction irrespective of any existing person. They are asserting a rule of who is valuable enough to possibly be of interest to them.
It's to not give false hope, Willow.
Sexually, I'm not even a little bit flexible - a fully functioning d**k must be present for Foxy to take an interest.
Anyone of any persuasion is completely welcome as a friend, but the lesbians/trans-folk have no shot in hell at a sexual relationship with me. I like males with male-bits in the bedroom. Period.
I think it's cruel to lead someone on, & if the folk of not-my-sexual-interest want nothing to do with me because I won't sleep with them? Fine.