The year is 2031, gay marriage has been legal for 18 years and HIV has gone airborne. Homopedo gangs roam from town to town snatching little children from parks and playgrounds, dragging their supple bodies back to New San Francisco. NSF's Queen has made a declaration that only death-sex with hetero-normative young men cures the AIDS plague.
You're walking home from your myndated LGBT tolerance and equality classes, where you spend the day learning about Alexander the Great, Harvey Milk and Matthew Shepard. As you continue down Bi-Way 69, you suddenly hear a sound in the distance. You turn to look, but can't see anything. The sound begins to grow louder and your heard begins to pound. Suddenly the chorus is clear...
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can juve, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the dancing queen
An armored VW Beetle with loudspeakers attached quickly speeds toward you. A man in a ball-gag emerges through the sunroof waving a rainbow flag. You start to run as fast as you can. The vehicle is getting closer and closer. You look back to see it closing in on you and the license plate reads: "BU6-CH453R"... The car speeds up alongside and the passenger reaches out and grabs a hold of you. You try to resist, but eventually he pulls you inside. Still struggling in the vehicle, bull queers in a**-less chaps and leather hats begin to yank down on your jeans. You kick, but the head queer turns you over. He raises a giant black rubber d***o in his hand and hits you over the back of the head. As your consciousness begins to fade away, you think to yourself: "Why didn't I support the Defense of Marriage Act?"...