The Peppermint Bunny
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Tue, 07 Apr 2015 17:22:21 +0000
I kind of just want to focus on one subject within this topic: Is it really selfish to choose not to have a child for reasons that are considered selfish?
I'll give you a little background of myself. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I missed out on a lot of fun things during my early twenties (and in my late teens). I didn't get to go out for late nights with friends, date a lot, or experience a lot of new things. Years back, I thought I would want kids, but now the idea appeals less to me. I'm just now getting to experience new things, travel, meet new and interesting people, etc. When I think about having kids, I think about having to hold off on this even longer because I would have to devote my life to taking care of someone else for 18+ years. Every once in a while, I think I might change my mind. The last guy I dated wanted kids and he was a fun person, and for a while, I thought if it worked out, I could see myself being the mother of his kids and being pretty happy...but unfortunately, it did not, and I am back to not seeing myself as a mother again.
Then there is the fact that I like sleeping in on days I don't have to work, I like coming home from work and being free to choose what I want to do rather than worry about other people, and the little money that's left over after putting the rest towards living expenses can be used for shopping for makeup and clothes, going to see a movie, video games, and whatever else interests me. If I found myself with a kid, I know I could take care of the kid, but I also know I probably wouldn't want to (I would, despite this, but hopefully you get the idea). I have been told that this is a selfish reason to not want kids for these reasons, but wouldn't it be more selfish to have a kid because other people think it's selfish not to and end up being a mother who doesn't like being a mother? I mean, that couldn't be good for any child I brought into this world.
Thoughts?
I'll give you a little background of myself. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I missed out on a lot of fun things during my early twenties (and in my late teens). I didn't get to go out for late nights with friends, date a lot, or experience a lot of new things. Years back, I thought I would want kids, but now the idea appeals less to me. I'm just now getting to experience new things, travel, meet new and interesting people, etc. When I think about having kids, I think about having to hold off on this even longer because I would have to devote my life to taking care of someone else for 18+ years. Every once in a while, I think I might change my mind. The last guy I dated wanted kids and he was a fun person, and for a while, I thought if it worked out, I could see myself being the mother of his kids and being pretty happy...but unfortunately, it did not, and I am back to not seeing myself as a mother again.
Then there is the fact that I like sleeping in on days I don't have to work, I like coming home from work and being free to choose what I want to do rather than worry about other people, and the little money that's left over after putting the rest towards living expenses can be used for shopping for makeup and clothes, going to see a movie, video games, and whatever else interests me. If I found myself with a kid, I know I could take care of the kid, but I also know I probably wouldn't want to (I would, despite this, but hopefully you get the idea). I have been told that this is a selfish reason to not want kids for these reasons, but wouldn't it be more selfish to have a kid because other people think it's selfish not to and end up being a mother who doesn't like being a mother? I mean, that couldn't be good for any child I brought into this world.
Thoughts?