Welcome to Gaia! ::

Okay, so I was diagnosed with GAD (general anixety disorder) and bipolar depressesion late last year. I went to a therapist for a few months, but now that I'm back at uni I don't have the time to continue my visits. It was during the summer that my symptoms had subsided thanks to the therapy, but now they're back and dealing with them alone is proving to be quite difficult.

I believe my anxiety stems back to my days in high school. Everything was super hectic and it was notorious for being the most demanding school back where I lived. I think it was the constant worrying about tests (up to 6 a day + homework for 8 classes) and exams that sort of started the problem and it leaked into my everyday life. The problem is worse now and as a result I've had frequent panic attacks. I tend to get worked up over trivial things and it leads to dizziness, nausea, sweating, and most times I can barely talk or get any words out and it is BEYOND frustrating so I've kind of stopped trying.

As I mentioned before, my anxiety leaked into my everyday life including social situations. When I meet new people I can never look them in the eye or when they ask questions I have to breathe slowly and steady myself before I answer and they tend to give me strange looks. To avoid situations such as these I usually steer clear of parties or social gatherings because I can never truly enjoy them. I'm always thinking that people are looking and laughing at me and I think to myself I don't belong here or why can't I be normal like everyone else? I try to seem as shy as possible so people won't approach me, though my friends think this is just one of my introvert tendencies (very few of them know about my anxiety disorder).

There's no one I feel I can really talk to about these problems so I mostly internalize everything and I think that is making it worse. The constant fear of failing, the dizzy spells, racing heartbeat, and nausea have returned and they are worse than before. My anxiety is affecting my relationships with my friends because now my symptons appear even when I am around them and they are the people I feel most comfortable with. I'm really hoping someone can help me. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. (:

Yeah I was actually hoping to become an addict after I left uni so that won't work lol jk jk wink

I used Xanax for a while, but it didn't help much unfortunately, but that's probably because I didn't take it frequently.

Thank you (: I've tried the breathing thing, but it's the whole calming myself down part that's difficult. Even when I sit down and try to focus I'm still panicking in my mind, but I'll try harder I suppose.

Try chewing gum to help, if you like it. It helps with the anxiety. Just try it once or twice and if it doesn't work for you it's still good that you tried. It honestly helps me when I get nervous. It's a trick with the mind, if you trick it into thinking that you're eating by chewing the gum then it realizes there's no threat because you're eating! We get nervous like the way you do because we feel threatened. Can you look your friends in the eye? Just try to maintain the eye focus.. I know it's hard. I literally had the exact same problem. Just try to see if the gum thing works.
"I'm always thinking that people are looking and laughing at me and I think to myself I don't belong here or why can't I be normal like everyone else?"
Nobody is looking at you and laughing at you, it's all in your head, just realize(I'm not trying to be rude when I speak I'm just trying to help) that the world does not revolve around you, you're more interested in them than they are of you most likely! You belong wherever you want to belong, you ARE an individual and come on nobody is normal. Normal is just a routine thing, it may be normal for me to play games every day or draw everyday, but it's not normal for someone else. I guess what I'm trying to say that everyone is normal and everyone is not. Maybe try to give someone a compliment on the street, one you'll feel better that you went out of your way to try and speak to someone, even if it was just a small little compliment, and they'll feel good too that they got a compliment. Keep your head up and if you make eye contact with someone walking by just nod or smile.
Just don't expect a change over night.

I agree. The purpose of therapy is to help you form a coping stratagy that works for you. What works for me is usually being able to find the switch in my mind that gets rid of the anixiety. To find said switch I need to know WHAT is causing hte anxiety and WHEN it will end. ex. I have a doctors appointment and I am worrying about test results a few days out. I know I will have a few days of worry and axiety but when the appointment is over the stress and worry is over. Setting limits always works for me because I am in controll of the end date for the anxiety and sometimes I can make it go away sooner than the end date. biggrin I amd doing better. BUT, this works for me. As I said, what works for me may not work for you.

As to the Xanax and other tranquilizers, they do work, it could be you are blowing through them. I know that for the first few years of my anxiety issues I would not take Xanax because I needed something that was longer lasting. For me, Xanax was like a grenade to anxiety. Quick bang and not much help. Klonopin on the other hand was longer lasting like a nuke bomb. The effects lasted longer and I was able to move on with life. The only issue was that it made me tired, like need to sleep for 8 hrs tired. The meds are a balancing act, you need to find the combo that works for you with regards to your situation AND that work with your therapy regimin. All schools should have a resident psychologist and or psyciatrist on campus. If they do not, they should be able to recomend someone in town or near by. It is as essential as getting antibiotics for an infection.

Best of luck and know that light is at the end of the tunnel!