How Can I Deal With My Jealousy? | First Page | Forum

Gaia Forums » GAIA Community » Life Discussion » Life Issues

Report ad

Beezerific

(?)Community Member

Sarcastic Humorist

11,250 Points

Offline

Post: 94622081_1 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:35:45 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:35:45 +0000

So I've been married now for almost 9 months and my husband and I are extremely happy, thank God. Problem is that at his job there is a chick that he was crushing on for a while before he and I became an item and I know that he would never cheat on me but I can't help feeling like I want to punch that girl's face in whenever he mentions her or when she calls or texts him.
I just want to get over this feeling of pure jealousy and rage over this girl. Can anyone give me some advice?

I Like Cakez

(?)Community Member

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_2 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:45:09 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:45:09 +0000

You should try talking to him about this. Does your husband know you are jealous of this girl?

NiiHou

(?)Community Member

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_3 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:47:22 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:47:22 +0000

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

Ancient Hours

(?)Community Member

Tipsy Genius

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_4 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:58:10 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 00:58:10 +0000

Jealousy often stems from insecurity.
Maybe it would do you good to analyze what makes you feel so insecure about her, and try to find a way to help you feel more secure.

Does your husband know you feel jealous?

Beezerific

(?)Community Member

Sarcastic Humorist

11,250 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_5 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:01:53 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:01:53 +0000

My husband does know that I am jealous of her (and he is equally as jealous of my male friends although there is no feelings and I do not keep in touch with any exes or previous crushes) and he can't not talk to her as they work together and there's nothing I can really do about that.
I don't see how it could come from insecurity since our relationship makes me feel like I'm as safe and stable as I'll ever be.

Ancient Hours

(?)Community Member

Tipsy Genius

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_6 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:22:45 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:22:45 +0000

Beezerific

Insecurities come in all shapes and sizes, and from all kinds of sources.
I'm not even saying that's what it is, that's just usually how I perceive jealousy.
Insecurity just means that you see someone else with something you feel lacking in. If you're jealous of this girl, it could just be that she has something in common with your husband that you don't, even if you don't think it will amount to anything.

I have been in relationships before where my partner was jealous of my coworkers, even though there was nothing going on. They usually felt insecure because it was a bond they couldn't share with me. Even if I shared my work stories with them, they wouldn't relate in the same way my coworkers did and it made them feel like they were left out of a big part of my life.

Beezerific

(?)Community Member

Sarcastic Humorist

11,250 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_7 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:49:44 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:49:44 +0000

Well if you put it that way, I guess I feel insecure about the fact that they work so closely together and that he's known her on a personal level more than me. I mean I've known him for about 5 years but only because we went to the same university and majoring in the same thing so our relationship back then was "do we have a quiz today" and "you got the notes for mcom 301" kinda thing.
That and he told me before he liked her because she is someone who is the opposite of pretty all his exes (including ex-wife).
I know my jealousy is unjustified and he says the way he feels about me is a complete different scale from any feelings he's had for anyone so I just need to figure out how I can get over this and not feel like going on a killing spree when he mentions her name.

Foxydoe

(?)Community Member

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_8 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:59:23 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 01:59:23 +0000

NiiHou

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

Beezerific

(?)Community Member

Sarcastic Humorist

11,250 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_9 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:03:09 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:03:09 +0000

Foxydoe

NiiHou

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

They work together in the same company and in the same department, he can't "make her disappear".

Pastelette

(?)Community Member

Familiar Friend

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_10 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:03:55 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:03:55 +0000

Oop, why he talking to an old flame.

Foxydoe

(?)Community Member

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_11 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:07:03 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:07:03 +0000

Beezerific

Foxydoe

NiiHou

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

They work together in the same company and in the same department, he can't "make her disappear".

I work in the same department with several people who don't have my cell phone number. The only person I work with who needs it is my manager ~ your boyfriend gave this girl his number because he likes her, not because she *needs* to have it. This is bullshit, & he needs to cut her off.

Beezerific

(?)Community Member

Sarcastic Humorist

11,250 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_12 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:15:01 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:15:01 +0000

Foxydoe

Beezerific

Foxydoe

NiiHou

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

They work together in the same company and in the same department, he can't "make her disappear".

They've had each others' number before we started dating, and I didn't want to seem like the jealous kinda gf so I just put it on the back burner but then we got married fairly quickly after we started dating so I let him know that it was an issue with me but he reassured me and told me that she never had feelings for him and that it was a one sided thing. My problem isn't with him talking to to her, my problem is how can I get over this unneeded jealousy.

Nurse Kipsie

(?)Community Member

Aged Girl

6,450 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_13 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:21:10 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:21:10 +0000

It's not entirely normal to call/text coworkers to chat about non work related subjects unless he and she are "BFFs", which is a bit odd because the girl in question was an ex (or someone with whom he "WAS" flirting).

To help yourself, maybe you should get to know the girl, talk to your husband about your concerns...

Foxydoe

(?)Community Member

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_14 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:22:43 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:22:43 +0000

Beezerific

Foxydoe

Beezerific

Foxydoe

NiiHou

he shouldn't even be talking to her. why is he keeping in touch with a crush? ******** that, tell him to make her disappear

They work together in the same company and in the same department, he can't "make her disappear".

Trust your feelings, in my experience they're almost always justified.

He gave her his number in the first place because he was interested in her. Her not returning the feelings doesn't change this fact ~ he needs to cut her off out of respect for you.

Blackrose_Knight

(?)Community Member

Devoted Pirate

11,750 Points

Offline

Report Post
Post: 94622081_15 created on Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:24:09 +0000
Posted: Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:24:09 +0000

Accept the fact that your husband wants to ******** other people but doesn't. Accept the fact you want to ******** other people but don't. Work on your self esteem so you can accept the above facts and get over yourself.

Report This Topic | unblock images

1 2 3 4 5 6 >

Gaia Forums » GAIA Community » Life Discussion » Life Issues

Welcome to Gaia! ::

Quick Reply

More Information