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Lonely Phantom

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Online or off? And how did you get past it, if you did?
I'm horrible at carrying out conversations if they don't involve really depressing things.
I don't mean to be a killjoy really, but I always wind up as one anyway because it's all I know how to talk about.
Does anyone have any tips or ideas for me?

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Ahh, I do, but I've notice the more questions you ask, the better the conversation goes.
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Lonely Phantom

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fatspo
Ahh, I do, but I've notice the more questions you ask, the better the conversation goes.
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really?
I do best when others ask the questions, usually.
I'm a great listener. You can rant and vent to me, or tell me anything
and I'll listen happily.
But the answering and chatting bit, I just have trouble with.

Clean Gekko

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online I got no problems
but you meet me in face an I proably wont say a word if I can help it
iunno jus when people speak to me I kinda lock up

if you talk bout depressin things alot might be is you depressed yaself
else you can maybe stop an think bout what might be a good thing fer that person to hear
like dont go lyin jus to be nice but if you sit for a minute an think bout all the differnt things you can say to a question or somet an then pick the nicer ones
might get easier as time goes

tamtonica's Partner

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Try to talk about things that mean a lot to you.
If people are passionate about something, they can usually talk about it quite animatedly.

Brainy Explorer

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You're more normal than you think. It probably doesn't come naturally to most people, so we gotta practice it like any other skill. I found this link a while ago on NerdFitness smile It helped a lot

How To Talk To People
If you want, we could Skype and you could practice your conversation skills on me ^_^ It'll be okay though, really. heart
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Nah, I ain't no good at talkin' people up.

On the internet though I'm ******** great at it, proving that those are two completely different skill sets altogether.

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I use to. Being abused until I was an angry and slightly abusive person. I would say learning to be a little more selfish while being tactful and empathetic is a better way to go about it, though.

If people there are like they are here, it really is pointless to hold a conversation. If you ask about them, they won't answer or make the conversation one sided. If you mention something you like or talk about a subject that interests you, they spew incorrect information 95% of the time and get offended when you correct them or accuse you of being selfish and only talking about yourself even if it is a response in how you can relate to whatever they were talking about or what more you can add to the idea. It is better to bullshit them. Pretend to be interested and do not talk about yourself, and you should be able to get on someone's good side, such as a boss or someone else you need to impress or pacifying an annoying, dramatic, or something person. If the later, follow up with "Well, this was a wonderful conversation. I hope to see you again at some point." Make it seem urgent and then avoid whoever like the plague.

Adorable Fisher

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I was abusively taught not to speak ever unless when spoken to and then only to say "yes". Getting out of this mindset was and still is exceptionally hard, but I've learned to more or less ask somebody questions about what they're talking about such as their opinion, why is that, how did you hear about this, how do you feel about that, etc. It leads to some pretty deep conversations and usually people want to speak to me again meaning the conversation was a success. Its pretty tricky, but if you can learn it you can do it.

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I never ******** shut up and love public speaking. So yeah I don't have this problem.

Lonely Phantom

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Silly Annie
online I got no problems
but you meet me in face an I proably wont say a word if I can help it
iunno jus when people speak to me I kinda lock up

if you talk bout depressin things alot might be is you depressed yaself
else you can maybe stop an think bout what might be a good thing fer that person to hear
like dont go lyin jus to be nice but if you sit for a minute an think bout all the differnt things you can say to a question or somet an then pick the nicer ones
might get easier as time goes


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I actually have been diagnosed with depression, I think genetic in this case.
I think I probably should give that a try.
But doesn't that create awkward pauses in the conversation?

Lonely Phantom

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lottitheunicorn
Try to talk about things that mean a lot to you.
If people are passionate about something, they can usually talk about it quite animatedly.
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I know this is going to sound strange,
but there isn't much that I AM passionate about.
I love to draw and listen to music, but I don't really know how far conversation based on those two can go. redface

Perhaps I should try though. Thank you.

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BlackRose-Jaycen
lottitheunicorn
Try to talk about things that mean a lot to you.
If people are passionate about something, they can usually talk about it quite animatedly.
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I know this is going to sound strange,
but there isn't much that I AM passionate about.
I love to draw and listen to music, but I don't really know how far conversation based on those two can go. redface

Perhaps I should try though. Thank you.


You can talk about bands and concerts and festivals and that stuff! It's actually a pretty save topic, because everyone listens to music biggrin

And you don't like watch any shows or read or something? Cause talking about stuff like that is great to get a conversation started and it's nothing too personal, y'know?

Lonely Phantom

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velvety milkcap
oh man I used to be so terrible at talking to people.... but after my first year at college I became a lot less socially awkward, now I don't really have any trouble talking to people. the only advice I can really give is be really interested in what the other person is saying (even if you aren't) and ask lots of questions (not too many or you might seem weird) about what they're saying etc idk


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That does make sense.
Congrats on getting over the awkwardness. Here's to hoping I can get past mine too! biggrin
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