Welcome to Gaia! ::

Very quickly...

I can see you slowly improving, and that's great! All of the action verbs really help with the imagery. I like how the last line of one stanza rhymes with the first line of the next. I also appreciate how the rhyming tends to lean more towards half rhyme. This makes it much less forced-sounding.

Yes, I personally do have a few problems with this poem. There are instances that are very vague. The second stanza in particular is one of them. Is there a way that you can express the inability to forget as an image...even a sound, smell, etc? e.g., We know the main character in Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart" cannot forget the man he murdered. How? We are told he still hears the man's heartbeats from under the floorboard. The line "My memories cling to me like glue" isn't necessarily the best line -- especially for this poem. However, it does a decent job of showing an image. I hope I'm making some sense.

I just wanted to tell you that I personally think that your poetry is improving. Awesome work! :}