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I kinda am asking how far would you go to get closuer in a relationship that ended?

Me personally i just don't give a ******** and i turn to that same old excuse of "it ended for a reason" but do you ever had those days where you just wanted that proper ending

if you did get it how did it feel?

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Nah. I forget things like that anyway.

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Problem with people wanting closure is that they tend to not realyl want that at all. Instead it becomes an excuse to contact the person again and start thing back up. Sometimes you never get a 'good enough' reason but the reason you get is the one you have to accept, as there is no real proper ending to a relationship.

I think if you want to get 'closure' think about what you want and why.

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It feelt good, untill we both realized the other person was lieing about it.
Turned out to be 6 months of "I love to hate you" to fall inlove again, only to end with what we both knew ultimately, we both cheated on eachother... again. (Yes it was a really unhealthy relationship).

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10 points to legnanella on her post. Wanting closure is pretty much you being in denial that the relationship is over. And whatever reason they give, you just have to accept that.
In my opinion, I feel closure is really that feeling that goes inside when you feel that you're not good enough and bla bla because you got dumped. Real closure is achieved when you come to the realization that the other person isn't worth it and is definitely not for you. Gotta talk yourself to it to reach that stage. Meeting someone awesome and having people who support you around also works wink

But believe me, going around searching for closure, never works and infact would probably hurt you a lot.

Just believe in yourself, realize your worth and be determined to forget that other person, closure will come on its own.

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I just mentioned this in another thread. I really do feel like people have control over their own closure. You have to make that choice to move on and create a better life for yourself. Someone else's affirmation is not going to give you closure. That would be saying that someone else has control over how you feel and they don't. Only you can make the personal decisions required to really experience full closure. You have to make peace with whatever it is that you need affirmed. Common ways to experience that peace is to focus on yourself and improving yourself. Finding new ways to occupy your time and building a better foundation to rely on in times of weakness. You are always going to remember a relationship and have new thoughts about it but how you deal with those thoughts will really let you know if you've experienced your closure yet. I hope that makes sense. Good luck moving on in a better direction. Remember, you deserve the best.

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legnanellaf5
Problem with people wanting closure is that they tend to not realyl want that at all. Instead it becomes an excuse to contact the person again and start thing back up. Sometimes you never get a 'good enough' reason but the reason you get is the one you have to accept, as there is no real proper ending to a relationship.

I think if you want to get 'closure' think about what you want and why.


That is the best answer to be honest. Yes you do have to take that moment or year to sit and think to yourself do you even want it and if so why?

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Closure for me is when the relationship ends; anything further is just trying to continue the issue or keep the relationship going in some dysfunctional way. Like legnanellaf5 wrote, there is no proper way to end a relationship and just got to accept how it turned out.

Just a few months ago I was faced with a "getting closure" problem when a relationship had ended. I thought about contacting him so we could at least understand each others' feelings; but I realized that it was pointless, because the outcome would either be us getting back together and him dumping all his insecurities on me again, or just arguing. Did I really wanted to continue contacting a man who would just keep treating me poorly? No. I didn't want that anymore, and not wanting to be mistreated is the whole reason why the relationship is over. Thankfully, I realized that before I did anything foolish.

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I'm really glad this topic was made, as I was going to make a similar one. Except, I'm a recovered crazy-clingy person who was left for apparent reasons.

I really want this "closure", but I'm afraid to reflect on what it is I really want. The first person I dated two years ago. And...it was only for two months or so. During that time, I just met at his place, he would make dinner, we would watch a movie with his friends occasionally and sleep with each other. We never called it 'dating' or anything.

He eventually was 'too busy' to ever meet. And he did have two or three part time jobs with full-time classes, so that was understandable. And likely what made me grow more attracted to him.

And then I went a little bonkers. I sent enough messages over the course of a couple months to drive him to call the police. Deservingly received a no-contact slap on the wrist from the dean. I remember how mentally cracked I was...saying childish things to the *dean* like "he was my first" as if weeping to a counselor.

He was literally the most beautiful person I ever met.

I ended up being voluntarily hospitalized for anxiety and obsession and dropping a semester.

A year later, I completed a social psychology experiment on stalking behavior, which was dreadfully fascinating as I was able to prove to myself when I wasn't thinking clearly.

I've been dating my current partner for ten months now. I really like him. I think we're a great couple. Both gamers and off to an anime con this weekend. And in regard to the above issue: If I had a choice between achieving some sort of 'closure' or having that guy removed from my head entirely, I would pick him out of my head. I don't like that he is still in my mind.

What will make the obsession go away? Time? After a year of silence,I sent a concise apology, but why? At the time, I thought it seemed a noble action but there is no point since there will certainly never be a reply. I just want to heal a past mistake. It's ridiculous, but I have to keep telling myself that I'll be able to talk to him someday. Which is terrible because I don't kknow what that says of my current relationship. I wonder why I'm not satisfied to leave things in the past.

Perhaps I'm just an outlier with a mild obsessive disorder.

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A closure when does that end. You end it with a sign contract or something?

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in my last relationship i surprised myself by just taking the rest of my pride and accepting his break up without a word. it feels nice to just not care and move on. people think they need closure but silence just feels so rewarding. like you're leaving them on a surprising cliff hanger.

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It hurt.
A lot.
But at least I know now that it never would have worked out since he was a manipulative liar and was still in the "highschool player" mindset.
I found out the person I fell in love with never existed and I had to accept that depressing fact otherwise it would've destroyed me.
While a part of me hopes for him to have his heart torn out once more like he tore out mine, another hopes he grows the hell up for the sake of the next girl that falls under his trap.
Not to mention his two children.
Although, he's more concerned with getting his d**k wet than being a father to his children.

As it is, he's already in a relationship with a girl he used to (and probably still does now, but I have no way of knowing since I cut him out of my life for good) talk nonstop s**t about.
And, like me and many other women, he's probably only dating her for convenience so he has a sure thing to sleep with and won't be lonely while he and his ex fiancee play a constant game of making each other as jealous as they possibly can and not even consider their son is a witness to their bullshit games.
He'll probably cheat on her too, just like what he did to me and the majority of his other exes.

But, it's not my business nor problem anymore.
I have my life to live and a new significant other who actually loves and respects me, so I won.
I'm happy again while he more than likely isn't and/or never will be.

Sooner or later, he'll run out of options and will either be alone the rest of his life or start acting like an adult.
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