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Fabulous Friday is finally here, Gaians! And not a moment to soon. Honestly, the time I spend between these reports seems to drag slower and slower each week! Makes me wish that time machine I spent so much effort on actually worked. Then I could just fast forward to every Friday, give my amazing report, and hop right back in my machine to head straight to the next Friday! In a perfect world, I suppose. Although I guess it might cause some issues with the timeline... Potential time collapses... Unpredictable parallel universes... But I guess that's the price we all have to pay for convenience, right? Well, no matter. The machine isn't up and running -- yet -- and I've got way more exciting things to talk about! We have another evolution from Hardhearted to look over, and a brand new EI! Allow me to introduce the newly discovered The Cocklebur King!

Hardhearted: By some incredible miracle, you've managed to score tickets to the concert of your dreams! Time to dress to impress. Determined to go the extra mile, you restyle your hair and buy some brand new clothes! Staring at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, in all your punkish finery, you can't help but think to yourself: "Damn! I look good."

The Cocklebur King: Once upon a time, a wild beast fell in love with a human man. The beast was a canid, a maneater, the master of the densest and darkest parts of the forests. It hunted without pity on the edges of the paths that passed through the outskirts, dragging its prey into the tangled thickets of underbrush where they would never be found. Until one day it saw him: a human hunter, strong, with fire in his eyes.

So incredible and it's only just day one! A remarkable find, if I do say so myself. That's all the time we have for this week, but be sure to tune in to next week's Evolving Item Report for all your science and dietary needs! Don't forgot to vote in our Weekly EI Poll for your favorite evolutions this week, and remember you can always see these items up close in La Victoire! Have a great weekend, everyone!