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Ugh. Guys. The suffering is... it's too much! I can't take it anymore! Phew. Okay, gotta calm down. So here's the thing: Cygnus? Has discovered a love of polka music. Don't ask me how he got a polka album to begin with -- I thought those things were all wiped out after the great Tuba Wars of '87 -- but the infernal thing has been playing for the past forty-eight hours straight and I'm. About. To lose it. I begged him to turn it off but Cygnus just gave me a funny look that I swear might've been a smirk and then set the stereo on a shelf too high for me to reach. Look, how much can I be expected to take here? It literally feels like my brain is about to liquify out my ears. I need something, ANYTHING, to distract me from the pain of my lamenting my existence! Something sweet, perhaps? A guardian angel?

Oh, hey, that gives me an idea! I'll distract myself with a sale. Maybe if there are lots of people in the store it'll drown out the noise! So, uh, piggybacking off what I just said earlier... We'll be offering Butterfly's Lament, Cupcake Darling, and the Angelic Bracelet here in La Victoire! Marvel at their sparkliness!

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Yes, yes. Those will do nicely. Just... please. Save me, guys. I can't take this anymore. I've only got enough stock to last me the next twenty-four hours, so hopefully Cygnus will either tire of polka music or, I don't know, spontaneously explode by then. My sanity is in your hands, Gaians!