[NPC] Jet & Cygnus
Ugh. Guys. The suffering is... it's too much! I can't take it anymore! Phew. Okay, gotta calm down. So here's the thing: Cygnus? Has discovered a love of polka music. Don't ask me how he got a polka album to begin with -- I thought those things were all wiped out after the great Tuba Wars of '87 -- but the infernal thing has been playing for the past forty-eight hours straight and I'm. About. To lose it. I begged him to turn it off but Cygnus just gave me a funny look that I swear might've been a smirk and then set the stereo on a shelf too high for me to reach. Look, how much can I be expected to take here? It literally feels like my brain is about to liquify out my ears. I need something, ANYTHING, to distract me from the pain of my lamenting my existence! Something sweet, perhaps? A guardian angel?
Oh, hey, that gives me an idea! I'll distract myself with a sale. Maybe if there are lots of people in the store it'll drown out the noise! So, uh, piggybacking off what I just said earlier... We'll be offering Butterfly's Lament, Cupcake Darling, and the Angelic Bracelet here in La Victoire! Marvel at their sparkliness!
Yes, yes. Those will do nicely. Just... please. Save me, guys. I can't take this anymore. I've only got enough stock to last me the next twenty-four hours, so hopefully Cygnus will either tire of polka music or, I don't know, spontaneously explode by then. My sanity is in your hands, Gaians!
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