Welcome to Gaia! ::

Xian gave her a weak smile back. "Deal." He still couldn't believe she was still here with him. The feeling of her arms around his neck when he never thought she'd even speak to him again. Her smile. Her voice. It all made him feel weak and heavy.

He blinked a little at her request but nodded. He slid a hand onto her cheek softly, searching her eyes and face with his own desperately. He closed his, leaning in and placing his lips gently on hers. He hoped she could feel how much he loved her. He was trying to pour every ounce of it into the kiss. He leaned in a little more, deepening it, trying to remember out of all the ways he'd kissed her in the last few months which had been her favorite to imitate it.

After a few moments, he broke it, slowly pulling himself away. He looked into her eyes, still holding a desperate worried look in his. "Elle, I really do love you. Please...stay with me.. I'll explain everything. I'll answer any questions you have. Just please." He closed his eyes and rested his head in her shoulder, speaking quietly. "Just please don't leave me..."

I'll stay.

Relief washed over Xian as he heard the words. It was confirmed by one of her arms around him and one hand in his hair, a more than welcome feeling. His body relaxed quickly, relieving all the tension. He went almost limp as he rested on her and he whispered. "Thank you."

He weakly wrapped his arms around her, suddenly feeling very child like. He nuzzled into her neck. "I'm tired." He whined a bit in a sleepy voice. "Can I take a nap please. Just a quick one. I'll answer stuff when I wake up I promise." He nuzzles her more as a beg to let him rest.

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Xian smiled and closed his eyes as she pulled him to her. He relaxed as he got comfortable on his stomach, his wings draping across the bed over each of the sides. He nuzzled his head on her stomach as he started drifting off.

He felt her shift slightly and then a touch on one of his wings. He smiled a little and moved it closer to her so she could examine them while he was asleep. She continued to play with his wings while her other hand began to stroke through his hair. "Mmmm.." He let out a pleasured and content sigh. She'd managed to completely relax him just between these two touches. He was out in only a few moments, shown by his deeper breathing and limper body.

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Xian slept peacefully on Elle. He always slept peacefully when his wings were out. They made him feel complete and he never had nightmares of memories or of falling. Quite the opposite actually. Usually he dreamed of nice things and woke up feeling refreshed. Falling asleep in the comfort of Elle's arms as she stroked his wings and hair made him feel like he'd never left heaven at all.



When his body had finally recovered, Xian's eyes fluttered open. He sat up with a loud yawn, stretching his hands together to pop his back. His wings stretched out a bit as well from their previously folded state, not all the way, as he didn't want to knock anything over on accident. He looked at Elle with a tired smile. "I guess it's time I gave you my explanation, isn't it?" He stood and walked to his closet, pulling a jacket off it's hanger. He handed it to Elle, giving her a gentle look. "Let's go to the roof. I need to stretch. We won't bother any one up there either." He would be surprised if any of his neighbors could hear him below, but it was late at night. Or early in the morning. One of the two. He wasn't really sure what time it was, but he knew it was a time when normal people weren't up.

Plus Xian felt more comfortable having such a serious conversation in an open outdoor place. Being in a room while trying to explain himself made him feel nervous and trapped. Outside he could watch over the night life of the city in the fall air. He loved it. Fall was his favorite season. The crisp breeze and slightly chilly air, hot drinks and all his comfy jackets. And the beautiful colors of the leaves falling.

They reminded him that even fallen things could be loved.

He smiled a bit at the irony as he began walking towards the door.

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As they reached the stairs, Elle parted from his side and went to the edge. His heart skipped a bit as she sat on the edge. He stifled his worrying though and walked next to her, leaning on the ledge and looking out at the city. He sighed a bit and looked up. "Where to begin?"

"Well, like I said before, I'm a fallen angel. I wish I could tell you why I fell, or my life before this, or any details like that, but...I have amnesia. I remember my fall, unfortunately, but that's it." He sighed, looking back down. "I get bits of my memories back every now and then in dreams or flash backs. Sometimes deja vu. But so far they've been pretty insignificant things and I haven't been able to piece them together." His expression was annoyed and exasperated, showing how desperately he wished to know what had happened. He closed his eyes, taking a pause before beginning again. "What I can tell you though, is about my fall and about my wings" He paused again, trying to keep himself calm as he recalled it.

"My memory starts with me falling through the sky. I remember I used to love flying. It was the greatest, freest feeling in the world." A nostalgic smile spread across his face at this. "I liked nothing more than to be in the sky. To brush my wings against the clouds. But this time wasn't like that. It was the first time I felt afraid of the sky, and it was strange. I then realized that my wings weren't working. No matter how I beat them I continued to fall. They then started turning black before me. Staining like ink on paper. I remember rolling in the air to face the ground. It was approaching quickly and I was terrified. I rolled back over and my wings disintegrated and burned into my back. I watched the clouds pass me by helplessly, then the trees.. And then..." He winced, gripping the ledge. His voice had been quickening as he told the story very choppily. He calmed down though and continued. "Well...you know...... I woke up feeling like I'd been hit and run over by a semi. I was bruised all over and my bones were healing from being broken. I was completely healed in a few minutes, but the phantom pain was still there. I went on instinct, somehow knowing what to do and where to go. I had a new life. But it came with a cost. Every night on the full moon, my wings come back. I can't stop them, and it's painful for about an hour beforehand. It gets worse as it gets closer to their release until it becomes excruciating. The only thing I've found that soothes it is rain on my scars, but it only helps enough to keep me from passing out....anyway.." He knew she probably didn't want to hear that. "I have them until just after sunrise the next morning, but they're more or less useless. Just painful reminders.."

He walked away from the edge, spreading them to their full length and looking at them sadly for a while. "The first time they came back out they were torn and shredded like this. I also had these shackles as well. They go away at sunrise too." He sighed, bringing a wing to him and touching the feathers on it sadly, but lovingly. He looked at Elle suddenly, a sadness staining his eyes. "What do you call a toy that doesn't work? Or something that can't fulfill it's purpose anymore?" His gaze shifted down and his voice softened, not waiting for her answer. "Broken..." A bitterness then filled his voice. "I shouldn't be called a fallen angel. No, fallen angels can just get back up again. I can't. My wings don't work.... I can't fly.." He looked up at the sky, his eyes becoming watery again. "No.. I'm a broken angel." He smiled, but it was full of pain and sadness as he stared up at the stary sky.

Xian's eyes widened as she spoke and he slowly dropped his head to look at her, stunned by what she was saying. He remained motionless, staring at her wide eyed as she scolded him. He's never though of things the way she was pointing out.

Xian nodded weakly, still partially in shock. He snapped out of it a little and took a few long strides over to her. He spun her around from the wall and pulled her to him in a tight embrace. One of his arms was across her shoulders with his hand in her head and the other wrapped around her waist. He held her close to him, even folding his wings around them. "Thank you." He whispered. "I promise. I won't ever again." He tightened his embrace. "I love you, Elle." He smiled, relaxing as he breathed in her scent. He whispered, more to himself than anything as his thoughts left his mind. "How are you so perfect." He gave a small chuckle. "I swear you could be an angel yourself."