Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023] | Page 48184 | Forum

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Is that what you mean to say?		29.2%	[ 743 ]
Before I rise to my defense,		5.0%	[ 127 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,		5.6%	[ 142 ]
Before I build that wall of words,		4.3%	[ 110 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?		10.2%	[ 260 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,		9.8%	[ 249 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.		6.1%	[ 156 ]
When I speak and when I hear,		2.9%	[ 75 ]
Let the love light shine through me.		26.8%	[ 681 ]
Total Votes:	[ 2543 ]

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Lilsassyrikki

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Post: 69127177_722746 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:26:42 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:26:42 +0000

dirty little thing I am. lawl. biggrin heart

shiny spoink

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Post: 69127177_722747 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:34:57 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:34:57 +0000

This can't keep happening.
I just woke up. It's nearing 5.
i slept the day away.

shiny spoink

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Post: 69127177_722748 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:37:43 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:37:43 +0000

I found this cute pj top from victorias secret in my room.
Only problem is the boob part is way too small.
I dont know how im supposed to wear this.

Suicide Salvation

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Post: 69127177_722749 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:43:50 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:43:50 +0000

So PISSED.
My ******** car died when I wanted to water my plants at the ******** school WHICH WAS LOCKED ANYWAY. So my Mom had to come and get me. THIRD TIME IT'S DIED IN A WEEK.

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Post: 69127177_722750 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:46:36 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:46:36 +0000

I am VERY upset right now.

puella stellarum

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Post: 69127177_722751 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:47:57 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:47:57 +0000

also when i was out getting ice cream today these birds were having like,
a turf war overhead, seriously. like fighting in midair and feathers were flying and i felt like i was in a hitchcock movie. so bizarre.

- - -
my mom is having a really hard time. a lot of relationships in her life are going through some serious rough patches, and some of these are family members.
she told me she didn't wanna talk about it over the phone but after awhile she just told me everything.

my grandma isn't coming to my sister's high school graduation. saying she went to "every other graduation" even though i'm the only cousin old enough to have graduated from high school.
and she was like "well i went to the cousins' kindergarten graduations" and said that "it's different because it's private school, you know."
my sister has worked her a** off to get to this place and she won't make the drive down to st louis to see her walk across the stage.
i could go into this whole thing about how i'm graduating from augie next year and what if she doesn't come to my commencement?
but my situation doesn't matter right now. all i know is that my mom and i will cheer loud enough and cry plenty enough for my grandma, and that she's missing out.

and my mom is fighting with her boyfriend because of issues being brought upon by his ex-wife. it's too lengthy/messy to get into on a dls post but basically she's feeling like she's ready to jump ship and just go out to north carolina asap.

also apparently my sister is talking to/seeing a 25 year old????
uhhhhhhh okay like i'm happy for her and all but that's how old vince is.
i feel like 4 years is an okay age difference and that him and i have enough in common in terms of what we've done in our life.
but that's a 7 year age difference for my sister and this guy. and my mom is fine letting her go to this concert in nashville with him? alone?? my mom said "i'd rather her go with this guy and have him make sure she doesn't get roofied or anything, because she was gonna go with one of her (female) friends and i would just worry about them getting drugged."
but who said that HE isn't gonna be the one to drug her? seriously?
i don't even know how the ******** she met this guy. she's a senior in high school and he's a grown a** man, i think it's pretty obvious what he wants out of her.
and the worst part is that ever since my sister turned 18, she's like "i'm an adult let me make my own decisions please" my parents have a five year age difference and my mom is like "well your father was 23 and i was 18 when we got married" but ajsdklfajskld. no. this is my baby sister.
this whole situation just screams "sketchy" to me but i know she'd never listen to me. neither of them would.

La Cantarella

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Post: 69127177_722752 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:51:21 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:51:21 +0000

My grandfather died last night.
I don't feel anything at all. I am numb.
The man who imprisoned me is finally gone and done with his pain. He will no longer abuse my grandmother, will no longer harass my sister just for being who she is.
He tried so hard to not be the last man my grandmother married, but he failed.
He was worse, and he died knowing I would never forgive him.
The last one raped me, yes. Took away my innocence. Ended my childhood by the time I was only three.
But at least he never told me I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything. He never took away my freedom. He never plotted to murder me, nor did he set that plan into motion. And when I escaped, he didn't do whatever he could to drag my name through the mud and act as though he was the victim.
Am I glad that he's dead? In a sick, sadistic way, maybe. But maybe it isn't so sick after all. He lost the will to live long before this. I called it as it was and they called me a monster.
I am only the monster they have forced me to be.

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Post: 69127177_722753 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:54:40 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:54:40 +0000

I feel like I'm so far behind in life, already.

La Cantarella

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Post: 69127177_722754 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:58:14 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:58:14 +0000

Does it make me a cold, heartless b***h to feel this way? I am in a state of constantly doubting myself. I don't know who I am. I couldn't even tell you my personality.
I try so hard to be a good and decent person, and I just... I feel as though I fall flat in so many ways in that regard.

lIIegit

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Post: 69127177_722755 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:58:45 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 00:58:45 +0000

Quite possibly my last words with you.
-----
I had a feeling the tone of the text was different than what I was hearing/reading.
Total misunderstanding. But all of that lovey dovey stuff just poofed.

Kinda sucks.

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Post: 69127177_722756 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:24 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:24 +0000

And I'm only 20, I shouldn't feel behind.
I just feel like I should be farther. I don't party, I rarely hang out with friends, I don't do drugs.

I'm so stressed right now..

lIIegit

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Post: 69127177_722757 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:44 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:44 +0000

******** it.
I'm deleting you from everything.

La Cantarella

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Post: 69127177_722758 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:56 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:01:56 +0000

I am always sticking my neck out for people. I do and do and do for people who are less fortunate, but when will it come back for me?
Where is my support team? Where is my lucky break?
If karma is truly this big, great cosmic force, then when is it going to come back for me?

La Cantarella

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Post: 69127177_722759 created on Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:15:01 +0000
Posted: Sat, 18 Apr 2015 01:15:01 +0000

No good deed goes unpunished.

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