merixthexninja
Page 35. Tits are not balloons, not even on chubby women. Don't hide the feet. Hips aren't just a perfect oval from waist to knee, and the calves are too short. The man's pose looks very stiff.
Page 36, panel one, very nice lighting/angle. Good texture on statue.
Oh hai, groping. So this is an adult comic. ;D
Why in the name of everything that is holy are you posting on a WHITE BACKGROUND with PALE GREY TEXT? Are you trying to kill my eyes? I already wear glasses. Stop trying to kill my eyes.
Furthermore, oh no, not groping!! Grow up. (It was a playful squeeze from one lover to another, upon waking up. It was completely non-sexualised and tastefully done.
Grow up.)
I would also like to point out that the statue on pages 35 and 36 is clearly -- very clearly, especially if you'd been paying attention -- representative of a mother goddess and the exaggerated hips and breasts are on purpose and show us, readers, that yes, this statue is of a fertility goddess worshipped because she is fertile and bountiful and mother-like. Also possibly a goddess of sex. Hence the exaggerated breasts and hips. I am trying to get this through to you, because you clearly missed the very obvious fact that a) the artist
can draw natural-looking breasts and b) this comic is about a pre-industrial, just barely post-hunting-gathering society that worships a mother goddess representations of whom are entirely in line with known, real-world representations of such.
Observe.
What next? When someone turns up with a comic set in ancient Egypt and depicts some murals, will you critisize them for drawing the people in murals with profile heads and forward-facing torsos? Would you go into the British Museum and tear apart the anatomy of Babylonian statues?
It's hand-lettering, not a font, as far as I can tell. The problem here is that these are saved as JPGs with artefacting. It's not unreadable.
Next up, "wincest"? It's a creation myth. They're all like that. It's not even worth pointing out that a creation myth has incest in it. They are ALL like that.
As for the solid black and white pages -- it's a story within a story, it's a nice style and it's important that the
creation myth and religion of these people are set up as early as possible, since this is a comic that clearly concerns the religion of these people. And there's no real way to show the relevance of myths to the story, without outright pointing it out in dialogue, aside from showing us the myth.
Phoenix_Singer -- try saving the files as GIFs or PNGs and see if you and your artist can get an Ames Guide for lettering. It'll help a lot.
I've read this before, then sadly lost the link, so I'd have to read it again to crit writing, but I enjoyed the and the art is lovely. My problem with it, so far, is that everyone looks like teenagers, due to the head/body ratio. Big cartoony heads can and do work, but right now it's making everyone look ten years younger than they're meant to be.
