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Try trusting the gender that forced your purity out of you? I think I'd lose trust with everyone. Well, think of homosexuality like this-- would you prefer to wear jeans rather than a skirt? People like to wear whats most comfortable to them. Its as simple as that. Of course, you shouldn't think that I'm saying if a girl doesnt like wearing a skirt, shes a lesbian. I hate wearing skirts. its a metaphor.

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kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

Offline
First of all, you're the first person I've seen with a religious view about hating a sin and not the sinner. To begin, thank you for being that way. I hate it when people single out people because of one bad thing they do. Which kind of also answers the question of the topic.

I think it's ridiculous to single out men simply because of a few bad deeds that some of them have done. My philosophy is if at first you don't succeed, try again. You'll find someone who's worth your time if you keep looking and not settle for anything less than what you deserve. I think part of the problem is some people get involved with random guys due to some small fleeting feelings and things turn sour. So it's easier to blame a gender as a whole as opposed to admitting that they made a mistake in their own actions of being with that individual. It's completely unfair to everyone else who may be interested in them aswell.

If we're talking about sexual abuse at a young age, yes that is a terrible no-no. I can see how that would have an effect on people. If that be the case, I would think it's more along the lines of fear than anything. Put people have to understand that they have no control over what happened to them. One person made a horirble mistake and usually, that person carries the guilt of their actions for the rest of their lives. It's not something to really single out mankind over. Really, it's something that people have to get around. I'm not gonna say much else for fear of sounding cold hearted.

In the end, people just need to let go of that thought and just take things as they come. Guys aren't evil things, despite the fact that some of them do bad. Women are just as prone to getting into trouble as men. One problem I have with women is that some of them use their sexuality to get things they want. But I don't really fault out women as a whole. Just the people who use this tactic.

Either way, I think it's silly to discriminate against gender because of past experiences. It doesn't really solve that actual issue that causes people to feel the way they do, so what's the point of it?

Offline
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion

Offline
kinine
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.

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Stone Temple Creep
kinine
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.


but if you explore past that you will discover that things will always work out...and therefore..no need for fear

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Yes, but aside from all of this philisophical bullshit the bottom line is women are stupid and say/think dumb things this is why the world would be better if more of every woman's time was dedicated to making ME a sammitch

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kinine
Stone Temple Creep
kinine
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.


but if you explore past that you will discover that things will always work out...and therefore..no need for fear


If this is an opinion based arguement, then I'll have to disagree. Through personal experience, I've always found that looking back at the trigger of an issue caused more anxiety in situations as opposed to say... looking at the issue now and dealing with it as it comes.

I agree, it's silly to live in fear. But I also feel it's quite difficult to get past without the right state of mind.

The point of this thread is to talk about how a womans experience with a man, as a past-tense, can sometimes make it difficult, sometimes even impossible, for that same woman to have a new experience with different men. If you experience a bad event in the past, naturally, you're gonna want to stay away from it the next time it happens. And the more bad experience you get, the more you want to stay away from it.

It's not an excuse of any shape or form, it's just a human trait. Sometimes you can't help it. I do of course believe that getting over a fear means facing it. Which in itself is a challenge. In otherwords, I'm saying that the people who have these fears simply need to face them dead on, and interact with men.

And this, as far as I can see, is true for any type of situation.

Offline
kinine
Stone Temple Creep
kinine
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.


but if you explore past that you will discover that things will always work out...and therefore..no need for fear


but if you live in this "illusion" day by day (for ppl who had REAL traumatic experiences-no offense to the chick) how can you get out of this "illusion"?

Offline
corinna2076


but if you live in this "illusion" day by day (for ppl who had REAL traumatic experiences-no offense to the chick) how can you get out of this "illusion"?


The term "illusion" basically refers to something that appears to be a certain way, but in it's actual context, may not actually be as it appears. In other words, if fear is an illusion, it means that what you fear may not neccesarily be something to fear. It's only feared simply because the person who is 'living in the illusion' personally feels that it is a threat. They use the fear to protect themselves from that threat, even though to other people, it doesn't appear in that way.

Either way, the best way to get over a fear is simple to challenge it. Tried and true.

Offline
Stone Temple Creep
kinine
Stone Temple Creep
kinine
MzEmKaa


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.


but if you explore past that you will discover that things will always work out...and therefore..no need for fear


If this is an opinion based arguement, then I'll have to disagree. Through personal experience, I've always found that looking back at the trigger of an issue caused more anxiety in situations as opposed to say... looking at the issue now and dealing with it as it comes.

I agree, it's silly to live in fear. But I also feel it's quite difficult to get past without the right state of mind.

The point of this thread is to talk about how a womans experience with a man, as a past-tense, can sometimes make it difficult, sometimes even impossible, for that same woman to have a new experience with different men. If you experience a bad event in the past, naturally, you're gonna want to stay away from it the next time it happens. And the more bad experience you get, the more you want to stay away from it.
It's not an excuse of any shape or form, it's just a human trait. Sometimes you can't help it. I do of course believe that getting over a fear means facing it. Which in itself is a challenge. In otherwords, I'm saying that the people who have these fears simply need to face them dead on, and interact with men.

And this, as far as I can see, is true for any type of situation.


what i put in bold is exactly how i feel. but like i had posted earlier, i don't hold it against ALL men, just the ones who resmeble (physical and personality traits) the ones who harmed me. Thats where my problem is. I freak out and immediately and space myself from them and push them away- which i admit isn't fair to the person(s) since they are not the one who did the damage

Offline
Stone Temple Creep
First of all, you're the first person I've seen with a religious view about hating a sin and not the sinner. To begin, thank you for being that way. I hate it when people single out people because of one bad thing they do. Which kind of also answers the question of the topic.

I think it's ridiculous to single out men simply because of a few bad deeds that some of them have done. My philosophy is if at first you don't succeed, try again. You'll find someone who's worth your time if you keep looking and not settle for anything less than what you deserve. I think part of the problem is some people get involved with random guys due to some small fleeting feelings and things turn sour. So it's easier to blame a gender as a whole as opposed to admitting that they made a mistake in their own actions of being with that individual. It's completely unfair to everyone else who may be interested in them aswell.

If we're talking about sexual abuse at a young age, yes that is a terrible no-no. I can see how that would have an effect on people. If that be the case, I would think it's more along the lines of fear than anything. Put people have to understand that they have no control over what happened to them. One person made a horirble mistake and usually, that person carries the guilt of their actions for the rest of their lives. It's not something to really single out mankind over. Really, it's something that people have to get around. I'm not gonna say much else for fear of sounding cold hearted.

In the end, people just need to let go of that thought and just take things as they come. Guys aren't evil things, despite the fact that some of them do bad. Women are just as prone to getting into trouble as men. One problem I have with women is that some of them use their sexuality to get things they want. But I don't really fault out women as a whole. Just the people who use this tactic.

Either way, I think it's silly to discriminate against gender because of past experiences. It doesn't really solve that actual issue that causes people to feel the way they do, so what's the point of it?


ok are my views bad or something?

Offline
Stone Temple Creep
corinna2076


but if you live in this "illusion" day by day (for ppl who had REAL traumatic experiences-no offense to the chick) how can you get out of this "illusion"?


The term "illusion" basically refers to something that appears to be a certain way, but in it's actual context, may not actually be as it appears. In other words, if fear is an illusion, it means that what you fear may not neccesarily be something to fear. It's only feared simply because the person who is 'living in the illusion' personally feels that it is a threat. They use the fear to protect themselves from that threat, even though to other people, it doesn't appear in that way.

Either way, the best way to get over a fear is simple to challenge it. Tried and true.


see, thats where the problem lies...challenging something you wish not to challenge

Offline
Blacknerd
Stone Temple Creep
First of all, you're the first person I've seen with a religious view about hating a sin and not the sinner. To begin, thank you for being that way. I hate it when people single out people because of one bad thing they do. Which kind of also answers the question of the topic.

I think it's ridiculous to single out men simply because of a few bad deeds that some of them have done. My philosophy is if at first you don't succeed, try again. You'll find someone who's worth your time if you keep looking and not settle for anything less than what you deserve. I think part of the problem is some people get involved with random guys due to some small fleeting feelings and things turn sour. So it's easier to blame a gender as a whole as opposed to admitting that they made a mistake in their own actions of being with that individual. It's completely unfair to everyone else who may be interested in them aswell.

If we're talking about sexual abuse at a young age, yes that is a terrible no-no. I can see how that would have an effect on people. If that be the case, I would think it's more along the lines of fear than anything. Put people have to understand that they have no control over what happened to them. One person made a horirble mistake and usually, that person carries the guilt of their actions for the rest of their lives. It's not something to really single out mankind over. Really, it's something that people have to get around. I'm not gonna say much else for fear of sounding cold hearted.

In the end, people just need to let go of that thought and just take things as they come. Guys aren't evil things, despite the fact that some of them do bad. Women are just as prone to getting into trouble as men. One problem I have with women is that some of them use their sexuality to get things they want. But I don't really fault out women as a whole. Just the people who use this tactic.

Either way, I think it's silly to discriminate against gender because of past experiences. It doesn't really solve that actual issue that causes people to feel the way they do, so what's the point of it?


ok are my views bad or something?

I never said that, so I don't know why you would think that. I'm just giving my view on the situation as a whole.

Offline
kinine
Stone Temple Creep
kinine
MzEmKaa
kinine
MzEmKaa
as it has been said it depends on the experience~~~ my boyfriend stopped loving me and left me i was mental about him and that has added to me thinking that all men are not capible of holding down a commitment and that they will just end up leaving you broken.


Also I was sexally assulted when i was 15, it was'nt as servar as othr but I can tell you it affected me and made me scared for years. so it depends on how bad the situation was


im sorry but you still have no excuse to blame all men....besides the reality of the situation is much different than any one cares to grasp...the left side of the brain is masculine and the right side is feminine..and everybody has both of these..so please explain..besides the sexual organ thing..whats the difference?


no difference just paranoiya and fear

exactly..and fear is an illusion


It's also a natural human reaction. We all have fears. It's not a matter of deluting yourself because of silly reasons. It's a matter unwelcoming unpleasent emotions triggered by a recollection of previous events. Atleast, it is in this context.


but if you explore past that you will discover that things will always work out...and therefore..no need for fear


You seriously just reminded me of what the man who raped me said when I told him I already had sexual issues after being used as a sex toy by a guy I was living with who also happened to emotionally abuse me. I'm still trying to get past all that. I can handle the sex but I couldn't have sex for months after I was raped. I had to wait till I found someone I knew I could trust. My rapist felt that having sex with me would solve my issues with sex. Bullshit. He caused more problems.
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