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Another great set of items evolving this week! The Masquerade is back with more odd disguises, the Classilke brings another set of adorable clothing and the Stolen Mesozoic DNA illustrates the dangers of tampering with science.



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Stay tuned for the full report with Dr. Singh and Timmy!




Dr. Singh: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the Evolving Item Report, Gaia's top source for the EI news you love. I'm Dr. Singh, and this is my sidekick, Timmy. Still trundling around in your little fake car, huh, Timmy?

Timmy: This baby's paying off, Doc! I just won some kinda police raffle!

Dr. Singh: A police raffle? What in the world are you talking about?

Timmy: Well, I decided to take the highway to work this morning, and this police guy came up behind me and turned on his crazy party lights, so I stopped and he gave me this ticket! He said it was cause I was drivin' way too slow, so he must appreciate what a safe driver I am...

Dr. Singh: Timmy, a ticket usually isn't a good thing.

Timmy: No! It says 4600 Gold! I guess I just gotta take it down to the courthouse and redeem it, then I'll get a bunch of Gold.

Dr. Singh: I'm pretty sure that means you have to pay them 4600 Gold, little buddy.

Timmy: Don't be silly, Doc! They called it a "ticket," not a "bill." Plus, c'mon, if they were makin' me pay for something, why would they turn on the spinning party disco lights?

Dr. Singh: Well, fair enough, Timmy. Maybe we should get on with the show, huh?

Timmy: Yeah!

Dr. Singh: Great. We've got some top-notch updates this week-- first up, the Masquerade is back with another round of... well, unpleasantry: there's some acne, drool and sweat to mess around with. On a slightly lighter note, you can also cover your face with an eerie glow in four different colors.

Timmy: Yow, it reminds me of when I had that megapuberty thing goin' on.

Dr. Singh: Ugh, don't remind me! On the nicer side of things, the Classilke is also getting an update this week, with more lovely, lacy clothes to choose from. Last up, the Stolen Mesozoic DNA-- in all its varieties-- will be evolving again today, bringing us another round of prehistoric oddities.

Timmy: Y'know, despite all the gosh-darned awful things science has done to me over the years, I'm still a pretty big fan of that implacable hubris that drives mankind to play god.

Dr. Singh: Where'd you learn those words, Timmy?

Timmy: I read 'em on a bubblegum wrapper. Y'know: Mint Stripe Gum! The Implacable Hubris of Fresh Breath!

Dr. Singh: Uh. Well, OK, I guess that's it for this week, folks! As usual, you can vote in our poll to let us know which items you like the best. Oh, and Timmy, make sure you go to the courthouse and get that ticket thing straightened out, alright? You're an adult now, so you'll need to be responsible about this.

Timmy: Sure thing, Doc! I'll try to remember...