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Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

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Post: 41189321_1 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:11:20 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 08:11:20 +0000

3nodding
Hello My Name is Peachie and Welcome to Guardian Cronicles
Guardian Chronicles
This is the page that explains it all we have two pages already its up to you to decide what happens to our heros

IronSpike

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Post: 41189321_2 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:31:12 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:31:12 +0000

The Guardian Chronicles DA Page

In ancient Japan they were 10 young people chosen by the great Elemental Guardians to protect the world from the evil demon Surafi and his minoins from destorying the earth. Now no one knows what happened to the heroes all we know is that they disappeared along with the ancient elements of Light,Lightning,Wood,Ice,Earth,Fire,Water,Metal,
Darkness,Wind. locked away for the next chosen ones to come across their power, as it lay dormant waiting to be realesed.

Practically mandatory "ancient Japan" element of the setting, with no perceptible native Japanese mythology included in the mythological storyline?

Elemental powers?

Resumption-of-an-ancient-battle plot?

Plucky teenage protagonists, blessed with superhuman abilities by fate and shouldered with saving the universe?

Non-Japanese characters with inexplicably Japanese names?

Do-over.

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

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Post: 41189321_3 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:29:37 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:29:37 +0000

Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line

THE HUGBOX

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Post: 41189321_4 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:10:01 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:10:01 +0000

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line

yeah let plot speak self!! spike a meanie

The Victorian

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Post: 41189321_5 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:10 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:10 +0000

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

I can't write a comprehensible sentence to save my life!

Ohh okay

Zee Coldwater

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Post: 41189321_6 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:22 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:22 +0000

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

Why! thats who. it goes not, changing the plot line

Fixed. Sort of.

IronSpike

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Post: 41189321_7 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:28 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:11:28 +0000

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line

...

...What?

NeroMan

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Post: 41189321_8 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:12:34 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:12:34 +0000

I am fascinated by this and will monitor the progress of the project to see how the situation develops.

THE HUGBOX

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Post: 41189321_9 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:14:33 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:14:33 +0000

IronSpike

Peachie_Kitsune_Nii

Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line

...

...What?

cant even udnerstand plane english?? hehehehehe maybe you should lern to write

Digital War

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Post: 41189321_10 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:16:41 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:16:41 +0000

In the next exciting page of Guadian Chronciles!

The three blond ones will form a tight-knit clique and shun the rest of the cast. Then they spend the next 5 pages handing out Aryan propoganda. On the sixth page, they get deported back to Europe.

The Victorian

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Post: 41189321_11 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:17:18 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:17:18 +0000

Seriously, though, give what Spike had to say a chance. Most of the plot elements you've mentioned are very common to the point of being hackneyed, so you've got to have some justification or reason for trotting them out. Why is it set in ancient Japan? Ancient Japan c. 1000 AD is actually pretty fascinating (seriously, read The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon-- the fact that it was written a thousand years ago is mind-boggling), but it doesn't seem like you've put any thought or research into your chosen setting, but instead just used it as window-dressing for a plotline pillaged from Captain Planet.

Digital War

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Post: 41189321_12 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:18:23 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:18:23 +0000

Then everyone gets their powers, and things get exciting. Our Aryan trio smuggle themselves back into Japan and begin to hunt down the other 7, gaining new powers each time they kill another.

Eventually they all get eaten by Godzilla.

NeroMan

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Post: 41189321_13 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:18:58 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:18:58 +0000

Just the other day I was watching Captain Planet and thought "Wow, this is some superfly enviromentalism.But you know what it needs? More kimono."

Zee Coldwater

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Post: 41189321_14 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:21:28 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:21:28 +0000

You could at least research the brilliant and fascinating Japanese mythology and use elements of that in your story.

That'd lift it from "pile of clichéd crap" to "pile of clichéd crap with a couple of good ideas", unless you rewrite the whole thing while you're at it, though.

Digital War

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Post: 41189321_15 created on Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:21:51 +0000
Posted: Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:21:51 +0000

Really play up the potential racial conflicts in the group.

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