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3nodding
Hello My Name is Peachie and Welcome to Guardian Cronicles
Guardian Chronicles
This is the page that explains it all we have two pages already its up to you to decide what happens to our heros
The Guardian Chronicles DA Page
In ancient Japan they were 10 young people chosen by the great Elemental Guardians to protect the world from the evil demon Surafi and his minoins from destorying the earth. Now no one knows what happened to the heroes all we know is that they disappeared along with the ancient elements of Light,Lightning,Wood,Ice,Earth,Fire,Water,Metal,
Darkness,Wind. locked away for the next chosen ones to come across their power, as it lay dormant waiting to be realesed.


Practically mandatory "ancient Japan" element of the setting, with no perceptible native Japanese mythology included in the mythological storyline?

Elemental powers?

Resumption-of-an-ancient-battle plot?

Plucky teenage protagonists, blessed with superhuman abilities by fate and shouldered with saving the universe?

Non-Japanese characters with inexplicably Japanese names?

Do-over.
Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line
Peachie_Kitsune_Nii
Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line


yeah let plot speak self!! spike a meanie
Peachie_Kitsune_Nii
I can't write a comprehensible sentence to save my life!


Ohh okay
Peachie_Kitsune_Nii
Why! thats who. it goes not, changing the plot line


Fixed. Sort of.
Peachie_Kitsune_Nii
Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line


...

...What?
I am fascinated by this and will monitor the progress of the project to see how the situation develops.
IronSpike
Peachie_Kitsune_Nii
Why thats who it goes not changing the plot line


...

...What?


cant even udnerstand plane english?? hehehehehe maybe you should lern to write
In the next exciting page of Guadian Chronciles!

The three blond ones will form a tight-knit clique and shun the rest of the cast. Then they spend the next 5 pages handing out Aryan propoganda. On the sixth page, they get deported back to Europe.
Seriously, though, give what Spike had to say a chance. Most of the plot elements you've mentioned are very common to the point of being hackneyed, so you've got to have some justification or reason for trotting them out. Why is it set in ancient Japan? Ancient Japan c. 1000 AD is actually pretty fascinating (seriously, read The Pillow Book of Sei Shonagon-- the fact that it was written a thousand years ago is mind-boggling), but it doesn't seem like you've put any thought or research into your chosen setting, but instead just used it as window-dressing for a plotline pillaged from Captain Planet.
Then everyone gets their powers, and things get exciting. Our Aryan trio smuggle themselves back into Japan and begin to hunt down the other 7, gaining new powers each time they kill another.

Eventually they all get eaten by Godzilla.
Just the other day I was watching Captain Planet and thought "Wow, this is some superfly enviromentalism.But you know what it needs? More kimono."
You could at least research the brilliant and fascinating Japanese mythology and use elements of that in your story.

That'd lift it from "pile of clichéd crap" to "pile of clichéd crap with a couple of good ideas", unless you rewrite the whole thing while you're at it, though.
Really play up the potential racial conflicts in the group.

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