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I know quite a few people who have ended relationships because the other person is "too nice." Several other people have ended relationships because they're too clingy, surprisingly though this one is men and women..

Maybe it's just because that's what we've always been told is beautiful and that's what we strive for in a relationship. If you have studied Psychology, there's what they call Cognitive Dissonance, which leads to this happening.. People in these bad relationships with more attractive people can overlook things like fighting, being taken advantage of, or being cheated on because they convince themselves that they couldn't live without this wonderful person that is most of the time nice to them and doesn't hurt them on purpose. You can convince yourself of almost anything if you believe it's an important enough decision.

Back on topic though, from my experience people enjoy the roller coaster ride of a bad relationship. They can sacrifice a few days feeling like absolute crap for a few weeks of pure bliss, even if that bliss is fleeting. Many people don't want to go the safe route with a "less ugly" person, because their adventure will end there.
When I go into a bar I don't say "That person looks like they have a great personality."

No. I think "Who would I most like to bang?" (Figuratively speaking)

Even if the other person has a horrible personality. Sex doesn't change. It's always a variation of two parts that generally stay the same (p***s and v****a of course)...unless you're some kind of hermaphrodite.

Personalities are more fickle, more changing, and are less primal. Sex is primal. Personality is a luxury brought on by the modern age.
Nibeel's avatar

Timid Bloodsucker

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That's how it's always been for centuries now.
I can't say I don't mind appearances at all,but for my sexy means having an attractive personality(no,not a doormat).An attractive personality is subjective.A person may not be good-looking,but he might have a very warm smile that makes him attractive and other sorts of stuff that help him project an attractive image without his face and body having perfect proportions and all.
I've fallen for guys whose looks weren't my style and I mean they wouldn't be someone I'd lay my eyes on the first time and think to myself "hm...this is a person I could see dating".But you see for me to consider a person a potential partner I need to know them a bit at first.Their face alone does nothing to me.
If he can't impress me a tiny bit and make me feel respect for him like hell I'm gonna give a s**t if he is a Johny Depp or Brad Pitt lookalike.I will certainly enjoy staring though.
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Because a lot of people are shallow and judgemental. The girls you know do not sound like nice people at all. stare
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Because Humans are sight based animals.
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Because it's a conspiracy x/
don't mind me;o
though you are right
people tend to think appearance is more important
i mean this one time my friend wanted to hook me up with her hot and rich cousin just because he was hot and rich
>>but personally I cant date people just because of that >>i actually care about personality
call me crazy but that's my opinion <<
~pink
anadentone
Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

It's likely a leftover from the primitive way of thinking. If the man is say, unfit in any way, it's a risk for the female because the males are always the providers of the family. In the good old days, when man had to hunt to survive, obviously, the fitter the man, the better since he appears more durable and imposing. Hence the Alpha males of animal packs, who have multiple partners are somewhat comparable to the cheating , fit men nowadays.

It's always about survival. By having copulating and producing more offspring similar to him, the survival of the tribe is more or less guaranteed already.
It's because no one looks at a person says "DAMN. Look at that girl's really nice personality."
anadentone
Why is it when it comes to relationships people tend to seek and lust after appearances than personality? Particularly women?

I was talking to some women last week about relationships and how hard it is to find someone right. These three girls went on and on about how they would love to have found someone who was nice to them, treated them well, didn't steal from them or mistreat the kids, someone who wouldn't cheat on them, etc. Then today I heard these same three girls talk about this couple. The man was huge (about 300lbs and wasn't george clooney in appearance if youknow what i mean). He was holding hands with this blonde ,busty insanely gorgeous girl and they were acting all lovey dovey.

The girls actually said this:

girl 1: ugh look at that
girl 2: ewww he must be rich
girl 1 : why would a girl that hot be with someone thats not?
girl 3: yeah I mean look at him its like God molded sewage onto a skull
girl 2: really. I mean why would someone like her wanna be with someone like him?

me: well maybe it's because he doesn't mistreat her, or steal from her, or hurt her kids, or cheat on her, or abuse her, and maybe he's nice from her..... god no wonder you broads have relationship problems.

explain this to me: why do people value appearances over personality? Why do men and women end up with someone hot but also cheats on them or mistreats them but not hook up with someone not to hot looking but who is nice to them and faithful? Wtf?


It is like a myth from my point of view. We have mytified that certain looks mean certain values (like wearing cool clotes = wealth etc), and most of us cant avoid that unless we start being rational and think "wait, she looks cool but she is a selfish a**, why i wanna spend my time with a person like this?". And my thesis is that those "few" guys and girls that start thinking "this guy looks good, but, is it really good or just appeareance?" starts developing their own style and then really slowly our point of view on appeareances change, tough this is not just a thing that happens everytime, cause now we have more factors to add like: capitalism media etc.

It is really interesting tought to see how our concept of "what looks cool" is historically, conditioned, and sometimes, geographically determined, sometimes we tend to think that what is beautiful now is what was beautiful in the past but hell no, and that for sure is a light of hope for people that now are considered ugly, they can became the most handsome people in the future.

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