Why are you single right now Gaia?

[Vantharas]

In honor of the 14th let us discuss the psychology of why we're currently single and the particular events that put us here.

For me, a history of betrayals in early friendships as well in many of my relationships (Getting cheated on lied to etc..)) I find it hard to connect to females and get close to them and without closeness their can't be sparks for a new relationship to form.

[Pseudo-Onkelos]

• Being single sometimes seems better.
  
• No doubt there's that fear of rejection.
  
• Incapability of expressing how I feel.
  
• I feel I'd be insecure. emotion_facepalm
  
• Fear of losing the person I want to be with.

Yep ...

[Bootiful Lia]

I'm single because of my eating disorder and being in treatment for mental illness I think. Being in treatment consumes so much of my time that I don't have time for dating, and I haven't found many people at treatment that I'm attracted to (dated a guy for a while there, it didn't work out). With my eating disorder, I've found that even while having gone to treatment and even though I'm mechanically doing what I need to do...when I'm put in the position to be romantic with anyone, I can't bear the thought of them seeing my body naked because I'm so unhappy with myself that my sexuality has just bitten the dust...which is bizzare because I'm actually an oversexual person...so it's a huge dialectic.

So there you have it.

[Kaptain K Rool]

I neva' have, currently don't, and hopefully neva' will find th' idea o' bein' in a romantic relationship wit' a significant otha' a good idea. It be a waste o' time and money in me opinion

[TalieTerror]

I'm single because I broke up with my ex-fiance in early October, 2 days before my 20th birthday.
Before very recently, I wasn't sure I was ready to try again so soon, but I think I'm ready. I used to be very terrible for running away when things got serious, so I'm wondering if I can avoid that this time...

[DXnobodyX]

Im not because I communicate well, and compromise is my middle name.

[Song of the Century]

Broke up with my ex-girlfriend about ten months ago due to jealousy issues. Otherwise, I don't have the courage to ask anyone out. The one person I did ask out after that denied me, but she was flattered.

[Rose die Valkyrie]

According to everyone who knows me, I have terrible taste in men.

Which I guess has some truth to it in that I've had to face a lot of trauma in my life and so I feel more comfortable being in a relationship with someone who can relate to me because they've had a rough life too. Unfortunately, every guy I've met whose had traumatic experiences hadn't been properly dealing with their problems, my last two serious ones relying on drugs and alcohol, which really isn't my style.

I'm not perfect and I still struggle with my person demons, but I've very adamant about not letting them make me hurt myself or others.

I just moved to a new environment in the last few months and it's in a really isolated village so there's not a lot of eligible bachelors around, not to mention that I'm not sure if I'm ready to give a serious relationship a go for a while.

I mean, I'm young, my life is going to change drastically in the future, going to a school somewhere, getting a job somewhere else, I kinda don't see the point in having a boyfriend if I'm just going to have to end up saying goodbye to him anyways.

I really don't wanna try an online relationship again because that's never worked out for me. I'm planning on just not actively looking for anyone and seeing who the universe throws in my way. I'd like to experience a guy meeting me and then trying to slowly woo me for once.

If I've learned anything at all from my previous relationships it's that rushing is NEVER a good idea and you need to make sure you really know a person before you let them inside your heart.

[Yevpraksiya]

Well, it's part to do with fear of rejection but mostly to do with the fact that I have an extreme way of looking at the world. How I experience it is just way too intense for most people. I'm pretty much psychotic in their eyes. It's very hard. How is anyone suppose to deal with that? I don't open up to anyone anymore because I don't want them to know the intensity of my mind.
(I forgot to add that I had the nickname 'psycho' for a really long time. I'm 22 and still get called psycho occasionally. Everyone in this town knows how 'crazy' I am. Which is complete crap.)

I have relationships but they are never fulfilling in anyway. I usually numb my mind with alcohol. I have a date on valentines day but only because they are forcing their way into my life and it's honestly, very uncomfortable. confused I just wish I could find someone else removed in the way that I find myself.

[Okamiden64]

A few reasons really...

- I find none of the boys here in my area very much like myself. I want a boy to be chivalrous still, no matter what others say. The ones around here are not in the least bit chivalrous.
- The fact that I have an accent. /originally from Germany/ so many people find it hard to understand what I am saying. Many also think it is weird or that I lack the capacity to learn their language.
- Fear of rejection. Always a nagging thought in my head.
- Because I simply don't want to have to look for a relationship, I want it to happen naturally. Look how far that's gotten...But nonetheless, I dont want to force something to happen, start as friends, develop something deeper, the whole cliche going on.

[Pipe Private]

Hmmm.... I think dating is a waste of time unless I'm going into it for the long term. Why would you get with a person when you suspect you're probably just going to eventually break up later? Really seems like a waste of time. I'd be in a relationship with a person if I had that "bam-zoom" moment where I suspect I could actually seal the deal with said person.

Apart from that, I classify myself as 'asexual.' So therefore, anytime I think about dating, I suspect the dude would have certain expectations that I wouldn't be willing to fulfill. And since that's really the ultimate goal of dating for most people, I'd come off more as a tease and ultimately a disappointment, unless I want to put myself in a really awkward situation down the road.

Unless I really feel something, I don't really see a purpose in pursuing.

[Variados Uruibi]

Gosh, where do I start. Hmmm, I am single for self esteem issues. I think I am just too awesome. In seriousness, people believe I am a stuck up and or a weirdo. I am a loner, I always like being alone, so when I have some one that is my boyfriend, I usually do not want to spend as much time as they want to spend with me and so they tell me and cold. I like being alone. My friend says it is probably because I might be asexual... but who knows. It might bring me problems perhaps when I realize I am too old and really would like a family of my own, besides that, the holidays do not bother me a bit.

[Rusk]

I would like to put it simply... Because I don't accept myself for who I am.

[Das Mannlein]

It's interesting seeing people come up with supposed explanations as to why they're single. Does it occur to no one that it might not be a single fault on you (or even your potential partners) but that it's a reflection of a sum of the parts? Multiple things make you who you are, and so multiple things would cause you to be single.

For instance, not having met the right person, or not having talked to anyone long enough to become intrigued - or having talked to someone too long and again becoming disinterested.

You cheapen yourself and others around you when you declare you are single only because of one or two individual traits.

[Over9Th0usand]

Weird, me and my ex broke up 10 months ago too because of jealousy. Turns out I was right, her "guy" friend did want her. He asked her out and told her he loved her three months after we broke up, but somehow I cant stop loving her though she lied to me.