WHAT THE HELL IS BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER???

[AdiMonster]

So last winter i took some crazy and loooooooooooooooooooooong test that told me i had some things (id have to find the paper) and it also told me i had FEATURES of BPD.

Ive tried understanding it but i just dont get it!!
UGH!
If youre going to try to tell me what it is please dont tell me "i think its when....blah blah blah"
Just tell me what it means in a way i can understand.
THANK YOU!

[jellykans]

AdiMonster

So last winter i took some crazy and loooooooooooooooooooooong test that told me i had some things (id have to find the paper) and it also told me i had FEATURES of BPD.

Ive tried understanding it but i just dont get it!!
UGH!
If youre going to try to tell me what it is please dont tell me "i think its when....blah blah blah"
Just tell me what it means in a way i can understand.
THANK YOU!

Hmm...how do I find a way you can understand without offering one explanation or another? *Is confused.*

First it was a character disorder, then renamed personality disorder, now there are a few labels - the DSM has expanded hugely in recent years. Fyi - a psychologist looks for ways to create healthy behavior (glass half-full). A Psychiatrist knows you are ill, aren't we all, but maybe you just don't have your label yet. (And they never take them off, they just add to the list.)
Psychiatrists do NOT like the personality disorder label - it's totally unresponsive to eith approach, psychology or psychiatry, basically by definition.

Specifically, it is when a child is so neglected that normal bonding with other human beings never occurs. The person's personality tends to be kind of flat, and they really don't know how to be around other people unless they are bullying or bullied, but the flatness is the most obvious characteristic. And, Adi, whatever your failings - that ain't you.

The label gets applied a lot when a shrink does not want to say 'I don't know.' They really hate to say that, and it's extremely rare. Basically, BPD is the shrink's code for 'hopeless.' (If they don't have the answer, it's hopeless.)

Inmates in prison tend to be given the label almost automatically, regardless of what they are like.

The closest synonym would be antisocial. Actually, asocial. Anti- implies negative responsese to others, and a- implies missing responses, no social understanding.

*Ducks flying pillows.*

[AliKat1988]

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings. Frequently they have relationships that get serious at the start and then dissolve quickly. Some therapists accuse them of being manipulative, though the emotional instability often can be mistaken for trying to guilt people.

I had a couple friends with it that were working on the same degree I did as an undergrad, and I can say that a simple description would not fully describe the variation in their psychological functioning. Both had serious mood swings, were very passionate, and a little impulsive. I could tell one of them had engaged in self injury based on the scars on his wrists, while the other had anorexia and was hospitalized a couple times. Getting the diagnosis does not make someone hopeless or incapable of having healthy relationships-that depends on the severity and specific symptoms the person has. I know one of my friends has been with his boyfriend for several years and even has managed that relationship long distance since he went to grad school out of state.

[AdiMonster]

jellykans

Hmm...how do I find a way you can understand without offering one explanation or another? *Is confused.*

What i meant was i dont want someone speaking about what they dont know.
Thats why i put the word "think" as in "im just guessing what this crap means but i could be wrong"
I should have clarified.
Now i shall read! biggrin
(had to address this so you would stop being confused)

[AdiMonster]

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

[AdiMonster]

jellykans

And, Adi, whatever your failings - that ain't you.

What do you mean by failings?

[jellykans]

AdiMonster

jellykans

Hmm...how do I find a way you can understand without offering one explanation or another? *Is confused.*

What i meant was i dont want someone speaking about what they dont know.
Thats why i put the word "think" as in "im just guessing what this crap means but i could be wrong"
I should have clarified.
Now i shall read! biggrin
(had to address this so you would stop being confused)

Lol, ty - I hate being confused, and you remembered! ^^
I know whereof I speak. I taught at San Quentin and didn't understand that label, so commonly used, so I researched it until I understood what it meant. it's basically applied to a person who didn't have anything resembling normal parenting, so they've no idea how to relate to others - the basic learning never happened, and it needs to happen in the first four years of life.

Yes, professionals have their own version of namecalling. The brother of a neighbor back home slit his throat to escape the mafia - probably ripped them off in a casino. He had a scar as proof. He was interviewed by a panel of 3 shrinks. Two wanted to put him away, and one voted not - after he offered to not contest that decision IF all three took the same test they said he failed. One agreed to take the test and was cracking up. The other 2 were not about to do it. MMPI, that was it - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. Yes, he was pretty wild and definitely not your average person, but they basically thought he was delusional - only he really had been escaping from some armed guys, and he probably had done something stupid.

[jellykans]

AdiMonster

jellykans

And, Adi, whatever your failings - that ain't you.

What do you mean by failings?

Failings = faults, failures, weaknesses, falling short of the goal, things-that-need-to-be-learned.

What? You thought you were perfect? Not if you are human. ^^ That does not, however, mean that you are mental.

*Throws a pillow and runs.*

[AliKat1988]

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

[AdiMonster]

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

[AliKat1988]

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

The way you had described it before made it sound like you had ordered it and interpreted it for personal use, since you did not mention a therapist being actively involved in the interpretation process and said you ordered one you heard about online. I gave you those examples to show how the emotional and self concept issues can manifest. You cannot get anything much more specific than the examples and symptoms-unless you are looking for stuff that just gives details to the general symptoms like how their self esteem levels fluctuate wildly, they can shift from loving to hating in minutes, or how they tend to change sexual orientation, romantic partners, religious identity, political ideology, friends, and other things far more frequently than normal and are very passionate/serious from the start and fiery on exit.

[AdiMonster]

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

The way you had described it before made it sound like you had ordered it and interpreted it for personal use, since you did not mention a therapist being actively involved in the interpretation process and said you ordered one you heard about online. I gave you those examples to show how the emotional and self concept issues can manifest. You cannot get anything much more specific than the examples and symptoms-unless you are looking for stuff that just gives details to the general symptoms like how their self esteem levels fluctuate wildly, they can shift from loving to hating in minutes, or how they tend to change sexual orientation, romantic partners, religious identity, political ideology, friends, and other things far more frequently than normal and are very passionate/serious from the start and fiery on exit.

please, show me where i said i ordered it online.

[AliKat1988]

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

Okay, first of all, do not take online tests for mental illness seriously. The psychological tests of any worth that are available online are stuff like the stroop test, left right confusion, and the ones about internalized attitudes about race, and those cannot tell you about your specific feelings or cognitive ability, just demonstrate the general cognitive tendencies we all have. There might be some lower quality versions of tests related to the big five of personality, but I would be cautious with those even.

Borderline personality is basically related to an unstable self concept. This instability can cause fluctuating perceptions in your own ability, the quality of your relationships, and severe/rapid mood swings.

This was a test i had to have ordered or something like that. It was....gosh i cant think of the name of the test i took.... Wasn't some silly online test though. I just googled personality tests and wikipedia had a few and i looked at them and i really REALLY wanna say it was the MMPI because i remember the name of the test had a state name in it. Im not sure that it was the MMPI though
And I've gotten this "unstable/unsure self-image" answer before and thats what i dont understand......
But something really ironic (im pretty sure this is irony and not coincedence) is that a few months before i took this test, a psychiatrist told me to stay away from girls (i think he meant to not date them) that have BPD and i end up having features of it....

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

The way you had described it before made it sound like you had ordered it and interpreted it for personal use, since you did not mention a therapist being actively involved in the interpretation process and said you ordered one you heard about online. I gave you those examples to show how the emotional and self concept issues can manifest. You cannot get anything much more specific than the examples and symptoms-unless you are looking for stuff that just gives details to the general symptoms like how their self esteem levels fluctuate wildly, they can shift from loving to hating in minutes, or how they tend to change sexual orientation, romantic partners, religious identity, political ideology, friends, and other things far more frequently than normal and are very passionate/serious from the start and fiery on exit.

please, show me where i said i ordered it online.

That was not what I said, but it is what it sounded like what you were saying since you said you had to order it and you googled psychological tests and read about some on wikipedia. You did not state where you ordered it from and with only mentioning a psychiatrist (who cannot give such tests), it seemed reasonable to infer that you got it in an informal setting. It was the lack of important details (the psychologist) and inclusion of unimportant ones (why did you mention googling it?) that made it sound like you got it online.

[AdiMonster]

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

The way you had described it before made it sound like you had ordered it and interpreted it for personal use, since you did not mention a therapist being actively involved in the interpretation process and said you ordered one you heard about online. I gave you those examples to show how the emotional and self concept issues can manifest. You cannot get anything much more specific than the examples and symptoms-unless you are looking for stuff that just gives details to the general symptoms like how their self esteem levels fluctuate wildly, they can shift from loving to hating in minutes, or how they tend to change sexual orientation, romantic partners, religious identity, political ideology, friends, and other things far more frequently than normal and are very passionate/serious from the start and fiery on exit.

please, show me where i said i ordered it online.

That was not what I said, but it is what it sounded like what you were saying since you said you had to order it and you googled psychological tests and read about some on wikipedia. You did not state where you ordered it from and with only mentioning a psychiatrist (who cannot give such tests), it seemed reasonable to infer that you got it in an informal setting. It was the lack of important details (the psychologist) and inclusion of unimportant ones (why did you mention googling it?) that made it sound like you got it online.

Ah i see the problem now.
When i said i had just googled it i meant i had, around the time of posting, googled so i could maybe refresh my memory. Also i did mention a therapist but not a psychiatrist. I know psychiatrists cant give tests also.

[AliKat1988]

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

AdiMonster

AliKat1988

I still would not trust that test and an important part of the testing process is to have your results discussed with a clinician who has been trained to interpret them. The problem is that the results can be interpreted in a variety of ways. These tests are protected and not supposed to be interpreted by laypeople, because it can result in serious misunderstanding of the results. The MMPI does not have a specific scale for borderline personality disorder, so if you got that result from taking it then I know that signals interpretation issue problems.

Okay, I suppose I will elaborate a bit more on it then. One problem with telling you too much in depth information about it is that it manifests differently in different people. I remember in one situation with a friend of mine who has it that she seemed in a completely good mood one moment and a mild issue occurred and she threw a hissy fit. She is also very biased and takes extreme stances instead of seeing things as more complicated-once when I was discussing the topic of nature vs nurture with her, I took the well supported stance of their interaction whereas she said she preferred the 'nurture' side of the debate. I know she seems to get serious with her boyfriends very quickly and has had several over the years. A different friend of mine had possibly the worse form of test anxiety in that it continued on after the test despite our attempts to calm him, though in other situations he seems very confident and bubbly. He frequently ends up seeming excited about doing something, but then decides not to just as quickly.

im not dumb...i had my therapist explain the things to me and i just couldnt get it.
i hadnt even read the paper until after he had read it.
this aggravates me.
and like i said im not sure it was the mmpi, but i remember the test had a state name in it.
thanks for your description but it didnt really help.

The way you had described it before made it sound like you had ordered it and interpreted it for personal use, since you did not mention a therapist being actively involved in the interpretation process and said you ordered one you heard about online. I gave you those examples to show how the emotional and self concept issues can manifest. You cannot get anything much more specific than the examples and symptoms-unless you are looking for stuff that just gives details to the general symptoms like how their self esteem levels fluctuate wildly, they can shift from loving to hating in minutes, or how they tend to change sexual orientation, romantic partners, religious identity, political ideology, friends, and other things far more frequently than normal and are very passionate/serious from the start and fiery on exit.

please, show me where i said i ordered it online.

That was not what I said, but it is what it sounded like what you were saying since you said you had to order it and you googled psychological tests and read about some on wikipedia. You did not state where you ordered it from and with only mentioning a psychiatrist (who cannot give such tests), it seemed reasonable to infer that you got it in an informal setting. It was the lack of important details (the psychologist) and inclusion of unimportant ones (why did you mention googling it?) that made it sound like you got it online.

Ah i see the problem now.
When i said i had just googled it i meant i had, around the time of posting, googled so i could maybe refresh my memory. Also i did mention a therapist but not a psychiatrist. I know psychiatrists cant give tests also.

Yeah I realized that you meant at the time of the posting after you mentioned that it was from a therapist, and you mentioned a psychiatrist but no therapist in the post where you mentioned the google search. I suppose I should have specified that I had made the inference from that post and that I disregarded it after you clarified that you had a therapist that went over the test with you.