Slut Shaming: What's Your View?

[calamito]

There's nothing wrong with having breasts, but there's no reason to flagrantly wave them around. A hot day on the beach? Not many people around? Sure - go topless. But modesty is a pretty honorable thing, and it is a little degrading to see someone do that to themselves. There is already too much sexual objectification of both women and men - it's not helping anything. Liking or enjoying sex and being flamboyantly annoying and flashing people are two different things.

[Ishilied]

I enjoy looking at women lustfully, as objects - and I'm a woman. I see no reason to feel shame for appreciating another person's body, especially when it's on display, and the person showing is enjoying it too. Attraction within a species is completely normal - else we'd not exist.

The only problem I've had with "sluts" is when they're sleeping around and lying about it, or doing the whole "Oh, you're the most special person ever, I'm gonna go ******** that dude that just walked by and not talk to you for two weeks" kind of BS.

[Zeris Cartwright]

There's a great number of reasons behind the logic of this. Or rather, the lack there-of depending on how you view it.

Some people abide by a strict code of ethics and they are led to believe that behavior such as that is amoral, and are quick to pass judgement on those that do not share their way of thinking. Even those who claim they do not judge others, will always judge someone on one level or another, some are just more forthcoming with their judgement.

Others still display the behavior as a form of jealousy either because they do not get the same attention as someone who is or might be promiscuous and secretly would like attention similar to, or the same as the person in question. While the degree and level of attention obviously varies from person to person, everyone wants to be desired in some caliber and for some, promiscuity is one way of attaining it.

In the same vein, some people may display promiscuity and/or being rather sexually active as a method of self destruction because they don't think they're worth anything beyond such activities. I've seen studies and had conversations with women (and in one rare case, a man) who were former prostitutes and similar to drugs, it became something they got hooked to because it was all they knew and it was the only thing they felt could give them 'something'.

In regard to my thoughts on the matter; people are different. They do different things and get different emotions or responses out of it. What may seem like an outlandish activity to one might seem rational to another. Even if I do not personally agree with some levels of promiscuity or sexual activity, I understand that others may feel differently about it, so therefore if it does not directly effect me, then I don't see why I should 'shame' them for it. That just seems counter-intuitive to me. However, should they ask for my view or my opinion on a person-to-person basis, then I would absolutely voice what I thought to them on a more personal level. In general though, I don't see why one should pass judgement on another just based on superficial information alone (yet it happens incredibly often).

[Majnooni]

Women: Would you ever show a topless picture of yourself on the internet? Why or why not?
If you have, why did you? Was it for empowerment reasons?

No. I don't want people to focus on my body or to encourage them to see me in a sexual way any more than they already do. This is not because I see sex or female bodies as "wrong" or "dirty". I just take both pretty seriously. There are many things that I don't give easily--- my affection, my body, my trust-- because I consider them to be valuable.

The reason I do not understand the "empowerment" justification is that... well, for example, let's say a woman sleeps with a lot of men just because she enjoys sex, but feels no emotional connection to them--the only purpose is physical pleasure. To me, that's not empowering, it's just an example of a woman turning the tables and objectifying men as she might be objectified. This isn't a victory because someone is still being treated like a thing to be used. Anything that makes anyone an object is not ok to me, no matter who is in control and how willing the object is to be seen as such.

That said, I would not want to demean other women who act in a way that I wouldn't. I am not afraid, if asked, to say that I disapprove of their actions and wouldn't do the same, but in my interactions with someone who might do things that others call "slutty", I really don't think about that. I just don't care, mostly, and also, I don't consider myself better than others for being "not slutty". I do think I've made a better choice, but whatever. That doesn't have to affect the way I treat someone.

[Milady Alluca]

I haven't, but I don't really see the big deal, either.
I mean, first impulse on something like a topless nude isn't to think the girl is a slut, maybe bad decision maker, but not world-shaking by my standards.
I think it's mostly just a "not acceptable in society" thing. Like that whole "don't put certain photos of yourself on your FB, a future employer may see and you can't get a job."
If I were an employer I wouldn't care about someone who showed off boobs, but that's just me. Takes all kinds of opinions.

[Jorgunmandr]

I do not believe there are any pros to condemning people for sharing their sexuality and that this is a by-product of the agenda to demonize sexuality and all things sexual. Shaming most behaviors that are truthfully victimless is in my opinion morally wrong and from my worldview of sexual ethics also unethical.

[Doctor Edgewood]

Ordinarily I associate overt sexual displays as being expressions of insecurity. It's the same rhetoric behind posting extreme messages on your Facebook page; it's designed to capture attention. Often times these women do not have enough inherent respect for themselves and must 'outsource' their respect to a male audience.

I know a good number of women who would never show themselves off for precisely the same reason, however. You might find someone who won't engage in a sexual display because of their insecurities. It depends on how a woman views the qualities of her body; this will vary wildly from person to person and the same is true for males (but we aren't talking about males specifically in this case).

I think that the traditional 'slut' is seeking validation of herself in the eyes of other people. I also don't think that anyone should penalize a woman for deciding to be extremely overt in her sexuality. By the turn of the same coin, I'd encourage women like this to get a little introspective on the reasons for their behavior. If they can't find a deeper explanation for why they do it, then that's on them.

[Before The Stars Sleep]

I'm not going to lie.

Whenever I used to see girls that displayed their goodies for the world or jumped into bed with different guys I'd think, "SLUUUUUUT!"

Now I know better.

If guys, and girls in particular, want to sleep around or pose nude for the net, then kudos to them. If you're a perfectly lovely person but enjoy all things sex, I'm still going to talk to you. Just don't ask me to join in your next orgy.

What DOES bother me is when these individuals hurt others in their quest for carnal pleasure. Those are sluts in my opinion, whether you're a man or woman.

[The Sky Does Not Bow]

Doctor Edgewood

Ordinarily I associate overt sexual displays as being expressions of insecurity. It's the same rhetoric behind posting extreme messages on your Facebook page; it's designed to capture attention. Often times these women do not have enough inherent respect for themselves and must 'outsource' their respect to a male audience.

I know a good number of women who would never show themselves off for precisely the same reason, however. You might find someone who won't engage in a sexual display because of their insecurities. It depends on how a woman views the qualities of her body; this will vary wildly from person to person and the same is true for males (but we aren't talking about males specifically in this case).

I think that the traditional 'slut' is seeking validation of herself in the eyes of other people. I also don't think that anyone should penalize a woman for deciding to be extremely overt in her sexuality. By the turn of the same coin, I'd encourage women like this to get a little introspective on the reasons for their behavior. If they can't find a deeper explanation for why they do it, then that's on them.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe they just like sex. I mean, that's possible, right? That women enjoy sex?

[Jorgunmandr]

The Sky Does Not Bow

Doctor Edgewood

Ordinarily I associate overt sexual displays as being expressions of insecurity. It's the same rhetoric behind posting extreme messages on your Facebook page; it's designed to capture attention. Often times these women do not have enough inherent respect for themselves and must 'outsource' their respect to a male audience.

I know a good number of women who would never show themselves off for precisely the same reason, however. You might find someone who won't engage in a sexual display because of their insecurities. It depends on how a woman views the qualities of her body; this will vary wildly from person to person and the same is true for males (but we aren't talking about males specifically in this case).

I think that the traditional 'slut' is seeking validation of herself in the eyes of other people. I also don't think that anyone should penalize a woman for deciding to be extremely overt in her sexuality. By the turn of the same coin, I'd encourage women like this to get a little introspective on the reasons for their behavior. If they can't find a deeper explanation for why they do it, then that's on them.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe they just like sex. I mean, that's possible, right? That women enjoy sex?

Aren't there socially acceptable ways to show this though? Sex in many societies isn't condemned; it's public sexual expression that is. I don't support it but it has nothing to really do with liking or disliking sex itself.

[The Sky Does Not Bow]

Brandan J Cromartie

The Sky Does Not Bow

Doctor Edgewood

Ordinarily I associate overt sexual displays as being expressions of insecurity. It's the same rhetoric behind posting extreme messages on your Facebook page; it's designed to capture attention. Often times these women do not have enough inherent respect for themselves and must 'outsource' their respect to a male audience.

I know a good number of women who would never show themselves off for precisely the same reason, however. You might find someone who won't engage in a sexual display because of their insecurities. It depends on how a woman views the qualities of her body; this will vary wildly from person to person and the same is true for males (but we aren't talking about males specifically in this case).

I think that the traditional 'slut' is seeking validation of herself in the eyes of other people. I also don't think that anyone should penalize a woman for deciding to be extremely overt in her sexuality. By the turn of the same coin, I'd encourage women like this to get a little introspective on the reasons for their behavior. If they can't find a deeper explanation for why they do it, then that's on them.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe they just like sex. I mean, that's possible, right? That women enjoy sex?

Aren't there socially acceptable ways to show this though? Sex in many societies isn't condemned; it's public sexual expression that is. I don't support it but it has nothing to really do with liking or disliking sex itself.

He was making a comment about why women would wear sexy things. The idea that maybe, just maybe, they like sex never entered his mind.

[Jorgunmandr]

The Sky Does Not Bow

Brandan J Cromartie

The Sky Does Not Bow

Doctor Edgewood

Ordinarily I associate overt sexual displays as being expressions of insecurity. It's the same rhetoric behind posting extreme messages on your Facebook page; it's designed to capture attention. Often times these women do not have enough inherent respect for themselves and must 'outsource' their respect to a male audience.

I know a good number of women who would never show themselves off for precisely the same reason, however. You might find someone who won't engage in a sexual display because of their insecurities. It depends on how a woman views the qualities of her body; this will vary wildly from person to person and the same is true for males (but we aren't talking about males specifically in this case).

I think that the traditional 'slut' is seeking validation of herself in the eyes of other people. I also don't think that anyone should penalize a woman for deciding to be extremely overt in her sexuality. By the turn of the same coin, I'd encourage women like this to get a little introspective on the reasons for their behavior. If they can't find a deeper explanation for why they do it, then that's on them.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe they just like sex. I mean, that's possible, right? That women enjoy sex?

Aren't there socially acceptable ways to show this though? Sex in many societies isn't condemned; it's public sexual expression that is. I don't support it but it has nothing to really do with liking or disliking sex itself.

He was making a comment about why women would wear sexy things. The idea that maybe, just maybe, they like sex never entered his mind.

My point was that enjoying sex itself even in it's entirety doesn't require such. I suppose what one considers sexy is subjective but I assume this is an allusion to lewd and socially unacceptable clothing.

[Ghosty Pie]

Since I have plenty of experience in the department.

Empowerment reasons.

And men do not ever have a problem with it, they think its so 'cool' that I do it, and want to do it with me. Until the day that I tell them 'no' or cross them, only then to them am I a 'slut'.

So they only name call when the time is convenient.

[Jorgunmandr]

Ghosty Pie

Since I have plenty of experience in the department.

Empowerment reasons.

And men do not ever have a problem with it, they think its so 'cool' that I do it, and want to do it with me. Until the day that I tell them 'no' or cross them, only then to them am I a 'slut'.

So they only name call when the time is convenient.

That's a pretty sad lifestory.