Not wanting to be gay?

[0Doidle0]

well we live in a politically correct era
it doesn't matter what you personally think
just as long as your an advocate of what is socially in vogue

so celebrate your difference!

take the Venus fly trap for example
it gets to eat all the meat it wants and IT'S A PLANT!
but we can't
politically correct wise

[CH1YO]

antifreeze1994

CH1YO

antifreeze1994

A friend of mine is gay, and his mom is one of those super religious types. She openly denounces gay people all the time, and I can't imagine how he must feel on the inside.

Why would growing up in an environment where homosexuality is prominent make it less likely to occur?

antifreeze1994

As for opponents? Well, I once read someone sum up the religious "war" against gay people:
"Not letting gay people get married because it's against your religion is like not letting anyone eat doughnuts because you're on a diet." xd

"Not allowing servile marriage because it is against your feelings of freedom is like letting people eat arsenic because they don't know any better."

Why is it any of your business if they want to ruin their lives? (not that I think they would)

It is not my business in so far as I'm not going to do anything about it, I do not make it my business. In that they are my fellow human beings it is my moral responsibility to ward them from danger. People that have ruined their own lives take away my professional efforts from people who have been ruined by others.

[Oni no Tenshi]

People also don't want to be non-white, poor, or overweight, yet many of us must live with these "marks" against us every single day.

What you're experiencing is a removal of privilege that you've likely had your whole life. If you grow up white, male, middle to upper class and generally don't have any other physical issues that will make you stand out (not fat, overly ugly, etc), you can generally get along without too much in the way of problems. But if you're gay, it's like an invisible weight on your back. On one hand, you're still seen as the white male, etc by others, but if the FIND OUT that you are gay (either because you're holding hands with a guy, or you check some guy out, etc) then suddenly they're reevaluating you and sometimes that's not a good thing if they're bigoted jerks.

But the truth of the matter is that this is not YOUR problem. IT IS THE PROBLEM OF THE BIGOTED PEOPLE. You don't have the issue, it's the people who are so horribly upset by the fact that you exist that they have no other way to react than to attack you.

You being gay does not inconvenience or hurt me in any direct way, but for someone who believes various things or buys into heteronormative culture, it can be very, very shocking.

Basically, you need allies. You know you are gay, and you have generally accepted it (even though you wish it weren't true sometimes since it can be hard). But the thing is, you aren't comfortable with your gay identity and beyond just getting into the dating pool, you need to get out there and be with people who accept and welcome gay people and also meet other gay people so that you can start to change your own inner prejudices and normalize your opinion of gay people.

As I've always said, everyone hates on fat people all the time, but most of the time after meeting me (I'm fat), people drop the prejudice. I stop being a "fat chick" and start being who I am- a person. What you need is to stop dehumanizing your gayness and realize it is a human part of you and it's something that is perfectly natural in the human spectrum of behaviors and desires. Once you get to that point, I predict that it will be much easier for you to accept yourself as you are.

[Cosmogonal]

There used to be a time where I would brush off my feelings, then when I came to terms with myself, I didn't like who I was at all. It hurts when you want society to love you, but your feelings are unchanging.

Surround yourself with open friends, inform your family, and go places where you wont be judged. Many of my friends completely understand and it helps a lot more than you'd think.

[Be Aggressive]

Cosmogonal

There used to be a time where I would brush off my feelings, then when I came to terms with myself, I didn't like who I was at all. It hurts when you want society to love you, but your feelings are unchanging.

Surround yourself with open friends, inform your family, and go places where you wont be judged. Many of my friends completely understand and it helps a lot more than you'd think.

To me it sounded like the OP was openly saying "Why would anyone want to be gay?", as if it's a choice.
So far your assumptions of the gay topics are true.

[False Dichotomy]

I'm astonished... well not really astonished at people's responses.

Look, I'll tell you this from everything I've learned in my life, apply it to yourself as you wish. It's perfectly fine not to like yourself. It's perfectly fine to be ashamed of what you want. It's perfectly fine to want to change. Just don't kill yourself over it. When I see someone who is obviously, or at least very honest that they are NOT at peace with themselves, I have far more respect for them than people who are. I don't like myself, I'm not at peace with myself, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to change, and to deny yourself something that shames you, personally.

To all the people that say "oh, just be yourself," I say, "I don't like myself, I want to be better than that."

Take everything I say with a grain of salt. Take everyone else's advice just as lightly.

[chromealias]

Can't help what you are if that's the case. Try to embrace it and ignore the bigots.