Not wanting to be gay?

[CrazyEyedFreak]

Suicidesoldier#1

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

[Suicidesoldier#1]

CrazyEyedFreak

Suicidesoldier#1

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

I don't want to.

There in lies the thing/

[Everlasting Radiance]

I've wanted to change my sexuality many times.I wouldn't say it is 'wrong' to not want to be homosexual. I've always felt like it's not what I should be, but I just am. (it's hard to explain what I mean by 'should')

If the reason you don't want to be homosexual is society's intolerance toward it, you should ignore that. There is not even a single valid reason to look down upon homosexuality. Society just needs to grow up.

[DaMattisTouch]

Veneficus Monstrum

Do you think it's wrong for me, or anyone for that matter to not want to be gay?

With me, it's almost to the point of depression. Maybe I'm weak, but it just makes life harder, for me at least.

Thoughts?

Oh I've been there before. I used to not want to be gay for quite a while with all the discrimination and religious hypocrisy floating around. It's natural for you to not wanna be gay, but homosexuality isn't something you become; it's who you are. I truly believe it is okay to be gay

[AliKat1988]

Suicidesoldier#1

CrazyEyedFreak

Suicidesoldier#1

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

I don't want to.

There in lies the thing/

Okay, I will try to make it more obvious to you how attraction is not merely about what you want. I am not sure about if you have ever been in such a situation, but I know that even if you are straight it is possible to be attracted to someone and not wish it to be so. Of course, it is almost always someone of the opposite sex, but that is irrelevant. The type of thing that I am thinking about is if someone feels attracted either to a sibling's or friend's significant other, someone they disagree with on some level, or even to a good friend and not wanting to complicate the friendship. There are reasons why an attraction might exist and you do not want it to be there. They might wish they did feel something for a specific individual that would not be likely to have the same complications, but they cannot merely will themselves to pick a safer match.

[Suicidesoldier#1]

AliKat1988

Suicidesoldier#1

CrazyEyedFreak

Suicidesoldier#1

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

I don't want to.

There in lies the thing/

Okay, I will try to make it more obvious to you how attraction is not merely about what you want. I am not sure about if you have ever been in such a situation, but I know that even if you are straight it is possible to be attracted to someone and not wish it to be so. Of course, it is almost always someone of the opposite sex, but that is irrelevant. The type of thing that I am thinking about is if someone feels attracted either to a sibling's or friend's significant other, someone they disagree with on some level, or even to a good friend and not wanting to complicate the friendship. There are reasons why an attraction might exist and you do not want it to be there. They might wish they did feel something for a specific individual that would not be likely to have the same complications, but they cannot merely will themselves to pick a safer match.

But at some level they do want to, even if their better judgement restricts them from it.

[AliKat1988]

Suicidesoldier#1

AliKat1988

Suicidesoldier#1

CrazyEyedFreak

Suicidesoldier#1

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

I don't want to.

There in lies the thing/

Okay, I will try to make it more obvious to you how attraction is not merely about what you want. I am not sure about if you have ever been in such a situation, but I know that even if you are straight it is possible to be attracted to someone and not wish it to be so. Of course, it is almost always someone of the opposite sex, but that is irrelevant. The type of thing that I am thinking about is if someone feels attracted either to a sibling's or friend's significant other, someone they disagree with on some level, or even to a good friend and not wanting to complicate the friendship. There are reasons why an attraction might exist and you do not want it to be there. They might wish they did feel something for a specific individual that would not be likely to have the same complications, but they cannot merely will themselves to pick a safer match.

But at some level they do want to, even if their better judgement restricts them from it.

What about the lack of being able to feel something for the safer match that they think they should be attracted to? In regards to wanting to, have you considered how limited control we have over our emotions and desires? The parts of the brain associated with sexual arousal and attraction in humans are very primitive parts and like basic emotions they tend to be rather unconscious and difficult to fully control.

[Suicidesoldier#1]

AliKat1988

Suicidesoldier#1

AliKat1988

Suicidesoldier#1

CrazyEyedFreak

Suicidesoldier#1

You can.

I am assuming you are straight- go try to be attracted to the same gender for a day. Can't, can you? For gay people, it's the same way. They can't feel attracted to the opposite gender.

I don't want to.

There in lies the thing/

Okay, I will try to make it more obvious to you how attraction is not merely about what you want. I am not sure about if you have ever been in such a situation, but I know that even if you are straight it is possible to be attracted to someone and not wish it to be so. Of course, it is almost always someone of the opposite sex, but that is irrelevant. The type of thing that I am thinking about is if someone feels attracted either to a sibling's or friend's significant other, someone they disagree with on some level, or even to a good friend and not wanting to complicate the friendship. There are reasons why an attraction might exist and you do not want it to be there. They might wish they did feel something for a specific individual that would not be likely to have the same complications, but they cannot merely will themselves to pick a safer match.

But at some level they do want to, even if their better judgement restricts them from it.

What about the lack of being able to feel something for the safer match that they think they should be attracted to? In regards to wanting to, have you considered how limited control we have over our emotions and desires? The parts of the brain associated with sexual arousal and attraction in humans are very primitive parts and like basic emotions they tend to be rather unconscious and difficult to fully control.

Well to some degree.

But I imagine it's possible.


You can control heart rate and all kinds of things.

Which I mean, aren't even up to the brain, as the heart can operate on it's own.


But generally these people do not want to not be gay.

They just don't want stigma or the difficulty dealing with it, not the actual situation itself.


I mean, it's sort like asking, how do you know if your Jewish?

"Are you Jewish?"- Well, no "There you go". xp

[Yogurto]

uh, a straight person experiencing unwanted hetero-attraction is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing unwanted homo-attraction.

the difference is that, even if a straight person has to squelch desire from time to time, that desire is still completely, 100% GOOD according to society. for gay people, any form of our attraction - squelched or otherwise - is perceived by society to be odd at best & destructive at worst.

a straight person whose desire sometimes pops out at awkward moments is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing a lifetime of oppression/repression for having any desire at all.

[CH1YO]

Yogurto

uh, a straight person experiencing unwanted hetero-attraction is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing unwanted homo-attraction.

the difference is that, even if a straight person has to squelch desire from time to time, that desire is still completely, 100% GOOD according to society. for gay people, any form of our attraction - squelched or otherwise - is perceived by society to be odd at best & destructive at worst.

a straight person whose desire sometimes pops out at awkward moments is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing a lifetime of oppression/repression for having any desire at all.

It's not the same because even if it was the same it would be different because it's not the same.

[AliKat1988]

Yogurto

uh, a straight person experiencing unwanted hetero-attraction is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing unwanted homo-attraction.

the difference is that, even if a straight person has to squelch desire from time to time, that desire is still completely, 100% GOOD according to society. for gay people, any form of our attraction - squelched or otherwise - is perceived by society to be odd at best & destructive at worst.

a straight person whose desire sometimes pops out at awkward moments is NOT THE SAME as a gay person experiencing a lifetime of oppression/repression for having any desire at all.

When I made that analogy it was not supposed to consider the social context of the feeling, but that desire can be unwanted and can only be hidden but rarely stopped. I was hoping it might make it easier for other heterosexuals to identify with the issue of unwanted attractions by using an example that they have possibly faced rather than trying to make the same point by telling them to see if they can make themselves like someone of the same sex. I think it is easier to identify with the former but that the latter is mere abstraction and quite impractical.

[OhDangBro]

Veneficus Monstrum

Do you think it's wrong for me, or anyone for that matter to not want to be gay?

With me, it's almost to the point of depression. Maybe I'm weak, but it just makes life harder, for me at least.

Thoughts?

From one gay guy to another....they're are benefits too it! We help each other out.... message me if you ever need to talk!

[this rainbow lover]

No, I don't think it's wrong to feel that way, even more so with today's society making it so much more difficult then it needs to be on homosexuals. I'm not surprised that more people do, honestly.

But, there are things you can do to make your life easier. Move to a more accepting community, for instance. Spend time with friends who love and accept you. Cut out negative people from your life. Focus on your good qualities instead of your sexuality. Stuff like that.

[RossetteAmi]

(im assuming your not gay.. but you think about being gay.. I apologize if I'm wrong)
I suggest you look up hocd.
I have it.. The thought of me being lesbain bothers me and is usually brought abouy by bad emotions.
and I'm not homophobic at all.
like most of my female friends that are my gender are bi or lesbian(im a straight with bi tendances female)
and I'm going to be in Rise Above Hate (the club isn't formed yet..) which was GSA but the name changed to RAH to fight bullying... which is more general and helpful smile

But yeah..
PLEASE LOOK UP HOCD

[Product_of_Boredom]

Suicidesoldier#1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

You can't just "not be" homosexual if you are. xD