Not wanting to be gay?

[Veneficus Monstrum]

FearlessDictator

You need a manly man, and a super girly gaggle of girls.
D:

Hahaha, exactly! xd

It's funny, most of my friends (who are girls) happen to be kind of girly, but not annoyingly so.

[catnapgood]

You are probably getting stressed about it. Take time to figure out who YOU are. Not, labels or titles that are associated with feelings. Sexuality isn't something that can be figured out in a week, month, or even years. Don't worry about the tiny things.

[Ongakuno Kaze]

I do a ton of gay rights activism stuff, and I'm always telling people that homosexuality is great and should be celebrated. And it's true, if someone comes to accept and love their sexuality I really believe it calls for a celebration.

However, personally I have accepted my sexuality....and I hate it.

So yeah...it can happen. But I don't know wether it's right or not to hate your feelings of attraction....

[x-Kemetic Phoenix-x]

JariKyoko

I know how you feel... Although with me it's so much more complicated and I just found out what I align with in LGBT and I just turned 20...

Try being a female who to be straight would acctually make me gay... And to be a lesbian acctually makes me straight...
I'm a transguy who is only attracted to men which technically makes me gay..
(I'm a man on the inside but I love men)

The only way I would find someone is if I either pretended that I was straight (a lesbian,) or have to find a bisexual guy who likes the fact that I dress like a man but am acctually female on the outside.

Being Gay - trans - or anything else sucks..

I have the same problem, 'cept I like women and other trans people, male and female. (cis-gender men are too macho for me.)

Being LGBT sucks just as much as being a racial minority, and I should know because I'm both. But you can't (and shouldn't try to) change either.

[Yogurto]

Veneficus Monstrum

Do you think it's wrong for me, or anyone for that matter to not want to be gay?

With me, it's almost to the point of depression. Maybe I'm weak, but it just makes life harder, for me at least.

Thoughts?

thanks for having the guts to begin this thread. i think it's super brave of you to want to talk about this & to seek advice, especially when the cultural climate surrounding young gay guys (i'm assuming you're male? correct me if i'm wrong!) is really toxic. i feel like i'm constantly hearing about *another* lgbtq youth who has committed suicide, which hurts me deeply. but it's hard to keep my head up when all i hear about gay people in the news is about suicide or discrimination.

& it also hurts me deeply that another person is in pain or battling depression because of their sexuality. sex should bring us love, but it seems like it so often brings the opposite. my heart goes out to you.

so anyway, thanks for posting this. i guess in response to your question, i'll say it's totally NOT WRONG for you to "not want to be gay." i think that's pretty natural, & again it pains me to say this, but it's part of today's queer experience. it can be really hard to be happy & proud about who you are when being who you are might mean you get beat up or heckled on the street, face discrimination in the workplace, denied basic human rights by your government, etc etc. no one wants that.

BUT that's the way it is. find ways to come to terms with this gift (& i firmly believe that gayness *is* a gift) you've been given. talk to friends & family about your depression. if they don't want to help or lack the tools to do so, seek out professionals. find older lgbtq people in your community you trust & talk to them about their experiences. go to your local gsa!

oh & side note: i'd also like to say that disliking "flamers" (i'm guessing you mean feminine gay men? "flamers" is pretty offensive to me, so i'd appreciate it if this word gets dropped in this thread) is a form of homophobia. watch out for that! a person, any person, coming to terms with their homosexuality & learning to live with it, embrace it, & love it might become annoyed with or even hate these kinds of people. but those men don't deserve your judgment. feminine gay men are on their own journey, just like you. let 'em be, or rather, look to them for proof that you can be happy - ecstatically, blissfully happy - about being gay.

wow sorry this response is so long. this is just something i'm really passionate about! sending loving energy your way!

[Veneficus Monstrum]

Yogurto

Veneficus Monstrum

Do you think it's wrong for me, or anyone for that matter to not want to be gay?

With me, it's almost to the point of depression. Maybe I'm weak, but it just makes life harder, for me at least.

Thoughts?

thanks for having the guts to begin this thread. i think it's super brave of you to want to talk about this & to seek advice, especially when the cultural climate surrounding young gay guys (i'm assuming you're male? correct me if i'm wrong!) is really toxic. i feel like i'm constantly hearing about *another* lgbtq youth who has committed suicide, which hurts me deeply. but it's hard to keep my head up when all i hear about gay people in the news is about suicide or discrimination.

& it also hurts me deeply that another person is in pain or battling depression because of their sexuality. sex should bring us love, but it seems like it so often brings the opposite. my heart goes out to you.

so anyway, thanks for posting this. i guess in response to your question, i'll say it's totally NOT WRONG for you to "not want to be gay." i think that's pretty natural, & again it pains me to say this, but it's part of today's queer experience. it can be really hard to be happy & proud about who you are when being who you are might mean you get beat up or heckled on the street, face discrimination in the workplace, denied basic human rights by your government, etc etc. no one wants that.

BUT that's the way it is. find ways to come to terms with this gift (& i firmly believe that gayness *is* a gift) you've been given. talk to friends & family about your depression. if they don't want to help or lack the tools to do so, seek out professionals. find older lgbtq people in your community you trust & talk to them about their experiences. go to your local gsa!

oh & side note: i'd also like to say that disliking "flamers" (i'm guessing you mean feminine gay men? "flamers" is pretty offensive to me, so i'd appreciate it if this word gets dropped in this thread) is a form of homophobia. watch out for that! a person, any person, coming to terms with their homosexuality & learning to live with it, embrace it, & love it might become annoyed with or even hate these kinds of people. but those men don't deserve your judgment. feminine gay men are on their own journey, just like you. let 'em be, or rather, look to them for proof that you can be happy - ecstatically, blissfully happy - about being gay.

wow sorry this response is so long. this is just something i'm really passionate about! sending loving energy your way!

I actually really appreciate long posts! xD

I'm slowly but surely coming to terms with it (friends rreally help). And when you say "gift", I'm starting to agree! With my twisted sense of humor I just consider myself population control. lol

And I should probably reiterate on the whole feminine gay men thing. I don't dislike them for THAT, per se. It's more like a clash of personalities. I'm not even really friends with any girly girls. Sorry, I didn't mean to offend anyone by the comment.

[Jubilant Sunrise]

Given the societal persecution and pressures homosexuals face in day-to-day life, it is perfectly logical for someone to desperately want to become heterosexual. Unfortunately, this cannot be changed. I recommend seeing a therapist and perhaps a psychiatrist to work out your depression.

[UMR - Vengeful and Violet]

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

I'm back; here's my mind at work:


Yeah, that's kinda tough, there.

But, what about being furry? o3o



You liek? I don't plan on leaving again anytime soon, though. Deal with it, babes. smile

[keeping my secrets]

Dark Violet Moon Ray

keeping my secrets

Suicidesoldier#1

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

It's not quite that simple. neutral You don't exactly choose who you're attracted to. OP could choose to be celibate if they wished, but they still wouldn't magically become heterosexual.

I'm back; here's my mind at work:


Yeah, that's kinda tough, there.

But, what about being furry? o3o



You liek? I don't plan on leaving again anytime soon, though. Deal with it, babes. smile

Well, I couldn't say....I'm not one. confused

[hatersmakemefamousss]

Who would want to be gay? Yes, I think I'd like for society to hate me today, just to stir things up.

It's just a matter of accepting yourself and ******** the haters.

[Kit Kat Purrpurr]

Suicidesoldier#1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

I'm guessing that there are emotional complications that aren't as simple as "just deciding not to be."

But then again, I'm not homosexual, so I don't know for sure.

[Suicidesoldier#1]

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier#1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

I'm guessing that there are emotional complications that aren't as simple as "just deciding not to be."

But then again, I'm not homosexual, so I don't know for sure.

Mhhm. 3nodding

But otherwise it's pretty easy to do.

[Kit Kat Purrpurr]

Suicidesoldier#1

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier#1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

I'm guessing that there are emotional complications that aren't as simple as "just deciding not to be."

But then again, I'm not homosexual, so I don't know for sure.

Mhhm. 3nodding

But otherwise it's pretty easy to do.

None of my gay friends ever wanted to be not gay (they're pretty flamboyant), so I don't have any other knowledge other than my own guesses as to how it feels.

[Suicidesoldier#1]

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier#1

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier#1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then don't be homosexual if you don't want to be; problem solved.

I'm guessing that there are emotional complications that aren't as simple as "just deciding not to be."

But then again, I'm not homosexual, so I don't know for sure.

Mhhm. 3nodding

But otherwise it's pretty easy to do.

None of my gay friends ever wanted to be not gay (they're pretty flamboyant), so I don't have any other knowledge other than my own guesses as to how it feels.

Nah, deep down they want to be.

Just ask, they don't want to be gay becuase of how other people would feel, not becuase of their sense of attraction.

[Kit Kat Purrpurr]

Suicidesoldier1

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier1

Kit Kat Purrpurr

Suicidesoldier1

Um... uh...

Homosexuals are bad!


*head esplodes*

No then dont be homosexual if you dont want to be; problem solved.

Im guessing that there are emotional complications that arent as simple as just deciding not to be.

But then again, Im not homosexual, so I dont know for sure.

Mhhm. 3nodding

But otherwise its pretty easy to do.

None of my gay friends ever wanted to be not gay theyre pretty flamboyant), so I dont have any other knowledge other than my own guesses as to how it feels.

Nah, deep down they want to be.

Just ask, they dont want to be gay becuase of how other people would feel, not becuase of their sense of attraction.

I beg to differ. They may be frustrated with their situation, but if I were gay, Id be fine with it. But thats me, and Im cool with myself except for the cowlick in my hair, but thats irrelevant xD)