Love seems inconvenient

[Culdra]

This is basically my case. If I can come up with an example, someone gives me something out of care, request something from me, or greeting, I was raised to do the same in return, yet I just do it to return the favor or fulfill what is asked or expected of me, not feeling any common courteousy from it. Generally, I tend to do things to satisfy others in order to survive, but it leaves me empty.

The question, is that love is something easy to understand or is it complicated?

[AvenirLegacy]

Most people don't even bother with rationalizing love. It's one of those concepts that makes being human a wonderful thing. That kinds of love? How does love build up?

I mostly think Love spawns out of Trust and companionship. Everything from love thy neighbor, to loving your spouse or mate.

[Project Light]

Culdra

This is basically my case. If I can come up with an example, someone gives me something out of care, request something from me, or greeting, I was raised to do the same in return, yet I just do it to return the favor or fulfill what is asked or expected of me, not feeling any common courteousy from it. Generally, I tend to do things to satisfy others in order to survive, but it leaves me empty.

The question, is that love is something easy to understand or is it complicated?

I'm not sure what your question is. Love as in life-partner relationships or love as in friendship?

Some parts of love as easy to understand. Some are complicated. For example, why there are evolutionary advantages to it are easy to understand. That is, it's easy to understand why we feel it and what benefits it serves us. As for the mechanisms involved, that is what can become complicated. There are a lot of mechanisms involved mentally with love. There are bonding chemicals and mirror neurons and all sorts of systems working together in your brain to ensure you do what is best for your survival and the survival of those carrying your genes. One system in particular is you doing what is "expected of you" -- your susceptibility to social pressure to do what is genetically best. The end result is the same, regardless of what path you take to reach it. Love simply is good for you in all aspects. For your health, for the health of your family, for your genetic reproductive chances. The science of love can be complicated, sure; but it itself is simple.

At the same time, I feel your original statement is an exaggeration. Doing favors for strangers does not always have to result in you feeling "common courteousy." Pay more attention to how willing you are to do favors for family, friends, significant others, or just people you find attractive.

[DXSciz]

I'm pretty sure if it was easy to understand, you wouldn't be asking the question.

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

[CH1YO]

You need to live a harder life so that nice things do not bore you.

[CH1YO]

DXSciz

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

A big part of talking science wise would be not jumping to conclusions on the basis of a small amount of circumstantial evidence without even going to the trouble of research.

[AliKat1988]

DXSciz

I'm pretty sure if it was easy to understand, you wouldn't be asking the question.

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

That is just one level of science. Science is broad and includes looking at things through multiple levels. There are many components to love within science-though biology is stuck at just the chemical and cellular level.

[Tarako6]

AliKat1988

DXSciz

I'm pretty sure if it was easy to understand, you wouldn't be asking the question.

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

That is just one level of science. Science is broad and includes looking at things through multiple levels. There are many components to love within science-though biology is stuck at just the chemical and cellular level.

Sociology, psychology, compatability tests, convinience, etc?
Tbh I don't think love itself has been or can even be fully studied. Though I should hope that it's fully understood someday, I think it's one of those things that have too many variables. Then comes with how the individual person defines love, as not all people "feel the intense feeling itself" and hypothetically a select few are physically/mentally incapable because certain parts of their brain don't work like they should. @_@

My mother loves my father, and after he dies she's not going to remarry because of everything they've been through together. Some people think this is right-and believe after finding 'the one' you can never love (as much as you have for that singular person) again. Others have experiences where they marry multiple times loving each one..so on and so forth.

In her case it sounds as if because she was raised that kind things are normal to do, they have little to no effect because her mind has setup this normalcy that everything everyone does "they are supposed to do it" for one another. Whereas someone who was brought up in rough surroundings will usually feel great joy for the simplest of kindness.

Simple version: Sounds like she's kind of numb/desensitized to kind acts.

OP: Do you know what makes you happy, do you have opinions on things or have favorite items/topics/food at the least?

[DXSciz]

CH1YO

DXSciz

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

A big part of talking science wise would be not jumping to conclusions on the basis of a small amount of circumstantial evidence without even going to the trouble of research.

I don't see how I am jumping to conclusions by stating a fact. I never said implied anything that wasn't directly related.

AliKat1988

DXSciz

I'm pretty sure if it was easy to understand, you wouldn't be asking the question.

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

That is just one level of science. Science is broad and includes looking at things through multiple levels. There are many components to love within science-though biology is stuck at just the chemical and cellular level.

But science none the less. You are acting like the basic chemical reactions of the brain are not the core cause for many feelings associated with love and what we consider love.

[CH1YO]

DXSciz

CH1YO

DXSciz

However, if we are talking science wise, it's all about chemical reactions. Increase levels of hormones neutrophins and dopamine and all that jazz.

A big part of talking science wise would be not jumping to conclusions on the basis of a small amount of circumstantial evidence without even going to the trouble of research.

I don't see how I am jumping to conclusions by stating a fact. I never said implied anything that wasn't directly related.

Stating a fact is a different thing to what I described and what you did.
A fact is determined by testing hypotheses, if there are no other viable alternatives and if the null can be rejected then something can justifiably be said to be fact. What you did by contrast was to have a very small amount of evidence reproduced for you in such a way as to draw significant conclusions which are simply not supported by the data.

[Capa Branned-Alms]

I think love is totally inconvenient. It gets in the way of everything. It makes you irrational, naive, unable to focus, and nearly manic.
And, it can only end in one of three ways:
Tragic break up; tragic death of one of you; tragic death of both of you

I can't justify falling in love. I just tend to do it accidentally.

You don't have to think about love; you just feel it. And if you don't feel it, it isn't there. Youcan't comprehend it into existence

[Ask Jappleack]

Culdra

This is basically my case. If I can come up with an example, someone gives me something out of care, request something from me, or greeting, I was raised to do the same in return, yet I just do it to return the favor or fulfill what is asked or expected of me, not feeling any common courteousy from it. Generally, I tend to do things to satisfy others in order to survive, but it leaves me empty.

The question, is that love is something easy to understand or is it complicated?

you love what you care for. Simple to me. But perhaps determining what you care for isnt as simple.

[DXSciz]

CH1YO

Stating a fact is a different thing to what I described and what you did.
A fact is determined by testing hypotheses, if there are no other viable alternatives and if the null can be rejected then something can justifiably be said to be fact. What you did by contrast was to have a very small amount of evidence reproduced for you in such a way as to draw significant conclusions which are simply not supported by the data.

I do not see how. I stated that science wise, chemical reactions, specifically increases of two particular hormones, are the cause of what we feel as love. You said that there was more to it. Pretty sure those were all factual statements.
Would you prefer I go find evidence to support my statement? Because you could just google it. There is enough supporting data that our feelings are driven by chemical reactions that I am making a factual statement.

[CH1YO]

DXSciz

CH1YO

Stating a fact is a different thing to what I described and what you did.
A fact is determined by testing hypotheses, if there are no other viable alternatives and if the null can be rejected then something can justifiably be said to be fact. What you did by contrast was to have a very small amount of evidence reproduced for you in such a way as to draw significant conclusions which are simply not supported by the data.

I do not see how. I stated that science wise, chemical reactions, specifically increases of two particular hormones, are the cause of what we feel as love. You said that there was more to it. Pretty sure those were all factual statements.
Would you prefer I go find evidence to support my statement? Because you could just google it. There is enough supporting data that our feelings are driven by chemical reactions that I am making a factual statement.

You should find evidence for two reasons: firstly as claimant you have accepted the burden of proof; secondly and more importantly it is possible that searching for and accumulating that evidence will serve as the education in the matter which you demonstrably require.

Your statement may be factual, in that it refers to things which are established fact, but it is far from scientific; you will fail time and time again to reject the null hypothesis in this regard.

[DXSciz]

CH1YO

You should find evidence for two reasons: firstly as claimant you have accepted the burden of proof; secondly and more importantly it is possible that searching for and accumulating that evidence will serve as the education in the matter which you demonstrably require.

Your statement may be factual, in that it refers to things which are established fact, but it is far from scientific; you will fail time and time again to reject the null hypothesis in this regard.

I already have evidence, but thank you for your educational concern dear.

Then why has it not? Because it can be proven. And has been. Repeatedly.