Is being bisexual for men just a gateway to homosexuality?

[vai2shy]

So I haven't thought about this in awhile. When I was growing up, in middle school, being bisexual wasn't common, but it definitely was becoming more and more acceptable. But only among the girls. It still was unheard of of any guys coming out as bi or gay.
Until there was a guy who finally came out...as bi.
This was not too surprising considering he was very effeminate.
Being an immature 7th grader, I thought that guys just came out as bi so that they didn't have to come out as actually being gay.
In high school, I learned that I was being insensitive and that a person is whatever they claim to be.
But despite this I've never actually met an older bisexual male.

So I was wondering, do you believe bisexuality is just a phase (for both male and female) or is it just an uncommon occurrence among the older generations (I'm 20).

[tealoving]

Bisexuality has always existed ever since the humanoid species first realised that putting one's genitals together with both the same and opposite sex felt good and natural. Oversimplifying but, bisexuality is nothing new in the slightest and it certainly is nothing modern. It has always existed; ancient Rome and ancient Greece are perhaps the two cultures where bisexuality was recognised as being a genuine attraction, although obviously, it not named that. More so in the latter than the former. Homosexuality was also not named, but it was recognised and known that one could be attracted to both sexes as well as the same and opposite.

Also, you are forgetting that some people may not identify as bisexual openly. If they are dating a man, they may find it easiest to say that they are gay. If they are dating a woman, they may find it easiest to say that they are straight. It certainly makes relationship labels easier, to save people coming up with questions like 'Do you cheat on your partner?' 'Are you still attracted to X' and so forth.

[spiderwebbing]

No, personal experience doesn't reflect on the entirety of the world. Some people identify as bisexual, and they are.

[Slutty_Eddie]

MissRoseRedd

Being an immature 7th grader, I thought that guys just came out as bi so that they didn't have to come out as actually being gay.

It is absolutely true that most gay guys come out as bi first, rather than hard on gay. It's "easier" that way. So yes, it is a phase for most gay guys. However, there are bisexual guys around. They're not as numerous or visible as gay guys, because they don't have to advertise as much as a homosexual male needs to in order to find a partner.

Also, a lot of bisexual guys, not a majority, but enough, also prefer to have a relationship with females, but have casual sex with males. In that case, they won't be out in the same way a gay or straight person is. This is usually the "men sexing men" crowd. They would be considered bisexual, but often identify as straight, even if they're having sex with men and women.

[Nitroglycerific Rainbow]

MissRoseRedd

So I haven't thought about this in awhile. When I was growing up, in middle school, being bisexual wasn't common, but it definitely was becoming more and more acceptable. But only among the girls. It still was unheard of of any guys coming out as bi or gay.

Probably because women have long been fetishized by the male-dominated porn industry as a way to enable FFM threesomes and generally introduce "tame" levels of queerness. It's hot to the male gaze, which is treated as the only gaze that matters, both in porn and in regular media.

MissRoseRedd

Until there was a guy who finally came out...as bi.
This was not too surprising considering he was very effeminate.

Conflating sexuality with gender expression. They are completely unrelated. I mean, look at the Bear community. I don't think you can get more manly macho than that.

MissRoseRedd

Being an immature 7th grader, I thought that guys just came out as bi so that they didn't have to come out as actually being gay.

Sometimes. I tried adopting a bi identity on the way to ultimately coming out as trans. It's a transitional step that a lot of queer people take, but that does not at all preclude the existence of legitimate bi people.

MissRoseRedd

In high school, I learned that I was being insensitive and that a person is whatever they claim to be.

You were. Trust what they tell you until they tell you otherwise. Never assume someone's sexuality.

MissRoseRedd

But despite this I've never actually met an older bisexual male.

A common mistake. You're letting your personal experiences inform you more than logic. Of course there are older bi men. I know several. There are even bi male celebrities. Just gotta look around.

MissRoseRedd

So I was wondering, do you believe bisexuality is just a phase (for both male and female) or is it just an uncommon occurrence among the older generations (I'm 20).

Can be a phase; not exclusively a phase. Don't assume it's a phase. Certainly exists beyond 20.

[Pawlas Cathena]

I don't believe that any sexuality is a phase. I'm not bi/pansexual just because it's the cool thing to do and I'm usually doign my own thing instead of follow trends. You have to keep in mind that older generations usually came from a background where it's more looked down upon to be anything but cishet so they're more likely to keep it to themselves or at least not be as open to everyone.

[Treasaigh]

Nitroglycerific Rainbow

MissRoseRedd

So I haven't thought about this in awhile. When I was growing up, in middle school, being bisexual wasn't common, but it definitely was becoming more and more acceptable. But only among the girls. It still was unheard of of any guys coming out as bi or gay.

Probably because women have long been fetishized by the male-dominated porn industry as a way to enable FFM threesomes and generally introduce "tame" levels of queerness. It's hot to the male gaze, which is treated as the only gaze that matters, both in porn and in regular media.

MissRoseRedd

Until there was a guy who finally came out...as bi.
This was not too surprising considering he was very effeminate.

Conflating sexuality with gender expression. They are completely unrelated. I mean, look at the Bear community. I don't think you can get more manly macho than that.

MissRoseRedd

Being an immature 7th grader, I thought that guys just came out as bi so that they didn't have to come out as actually being gay.

Sometimes. I tried adopting a bi identity on the way to ultimately coming out as trans. It's a transitional step that a lot of queer people take, but that does not at all preclude the existence of legitimate bi people.

MissRoseRedd

In high school, I learned that I was being insensitive and that a person is whatever they claim to be.

You were. Trust what they tell you until they tell you otherwise. Never assume someone's sexuality.

MissRoseRedd

But despite this I've never actually met an older bisexual male.

A common mistake. You're letting your personal experiences inform you more than logic. Of course there are older bi men. I know several. There are even bi male celebrities. Just gotta look around.

MissRoseRedd

So I was wondering, do you believe bisexuality is just a phase (for both male and female) or is it just an uncommon occurrence among the older generations (I'm 20).

Can be a phase; not exclusively a phase. Don't assume it's a phase. Certainly exists beyond 20.

^This post should be totally respected. Very informative and very well stated.

[Kimbahbayy]

If guys are bi, they're bi. They're May be some who go through a phase because they like to experiment physically but who's to judge? Who cares? Let their lives concern themselves.

[yeet-chan]

Nitroglycerific Rainbow's post is the bomb.
OP: You should be asking if there has been research done on whether bisexuality is just a phase or not. What people "believe" isn't necessarily the truth. The more we rely on anecdotal evidence, the less we actually know about the world and people around us.
Study: Bisexuality Not Just an Experimental Phase
Three Myths About Bisexuality, Debunked by Science
Bisexuality Not A Transitional Phase Among Women, According To New Research
And so on...
It's hard to find similar studies done on bisexual men, but you can take from these studies (and others, just Google them) that sexuality is fluid and/or stable depending on the person.

[vai2shy]

Parasynthetic

Nitroglycerific Rainbow's post is the bomb.
OP: You should be asking if there has been research done on whether bisexuality is just a phase or not. What people "believe" isn't necessarily the truth. The more we rely on anecdotal evidence, the less we actually know about the world and people around us.
Study: Bisexuality Not Just an Experimental Phase
Three Myths About Bisexuality, Debunked by Science
Bisexuality Not A Transitional Phase Among Women, According To New Research
And so on...
It's hard to find similar studies done on bisexual men, but you can take from these studies (and others, just Google them) that sexuality is fluid and/or stable depending on the person.

Good point. And thanks for the articles! 3nodding

[GodMother of Crown Royal]

[psycheduck]

MissVaiFluff

So I haven't thought about this in awhile. When I was growing up, in middle school, being bisexual wasn't common, but it definitely was becoming more and more acceptable. But only among the girls. It still was unheard of of any guys coming out as bi or gay.
Until there was a guy who finally came out...as bi.
This was not too surprising considering he was very effeminate.
Being an immature 7th grader, I thought that guys just came out as bi so that they didn't have to come out as actually being gay.
In high school, I learned that I was being insensitive and that a person is whatever they claim to be.
But despite this I've never actually met an older bisexual male.

So I was wondering, do you believe bisexuality is just a phase (for both male and female) or is it just an uncommon occurrence among the older generations (I'm 20).

Bisexuality is akin to homosexuality and heterosexuality; it is a normative position of one's sexuality. Most bisexuals have varying degrees of attraction towards men and women. For instance, I am attracted to women about 90% of the time, and men maybe 10% of the time. I still consider myself a bisexual, despite that ratio changing throughout the years, and sometimes, moments. But in most cases, if someone identifies as a bisexual today, and meaningfully so, not just for attention or experimentation, they will also be bisexual years from now.

Whether somone will lean more towards homosexual or heterosexual tendencies in the future is unknown, but what I am sure of is that if at some point in your life you realize that you are capable of feeling true attraction towards a set of characteristics defined by a gender, you will always be capable of it. You never transition entirely to homosexuality or heterosexuality. Those who say they have merely repress attraction to the opposite gender, consciously or unconsciously. This can be done so relatively easily if your attraction to that gender is not very great, but it will always be with you, like an embarrassing secret.

I wouldn't doubt that social pressures are the reason why bisexuals often disregard their least preferred gender and stick with the other, in order to be "normal" within the confines of homosexuality and heterosexuality. I instead embrace my attraction to both genders, and I think other bisexuals should do the same, or at least feel that they are able to.

[psycheduck]

Nitroglycerific Rainbow

It's hot to the male gaze, which is treated as the only gaze that matters, both in porn and in regular media.

Not saying it is the only gaze that matters, but if you're in marketing, it's the only gaze that matters. Men make up more readers of almost every major published magazine with the exception of The New Yorker (State of the News Media), and according to a survey, men watch 10 times more porn than women on a daily basis (Cosmo). The largest demographic is the one that makes the most money, so target them. It's the sad reality of a capitalist market in a suggestive society.

[Starry Starry Fright]

Read up on the work of Alfred Kinsey. He was a pioneering sex researcher who studied the sexual behaviours and attractions of thousands of American people. He found that homosexuality and heterosexuality are not discrete categories - you are not one or the other. Instead, most people fall somewhere on a spectrum of bisexuality. Some people may report having equal interest in both sexes. Most people report that they are mostly heterosexual, but have had one or more incidental encounters with or attractions for the same sex.

In other words, most people are capable of bisexual tendencies if the circumstances are right.