Interesting Psychological question.

[catnapgood]

Studies have shown that a woman will sometimes choose a spouse that shares similar characteristics to her own father.
When I find myself attracted to a man, I've noticed he usually has features that can be seen in my father: Dark hair, a larger nose, serious personality, beard or face stubble, etc.

I sometimes see these connections in females I've been attracted too. (Minus the facial hair part.)

My sister also dates men who look similar to our father.

[SaxMona]

I don't personally think it's anyone's fault, but it all depends on the person as well and what their personality and temperament is like.

For a relationship to work with anyone though there needs to be, trust, and, communication.If you don't have one of those it's not good grounds for a relationship.

One of my guy friends never had a great relationship with his mother, but he now can't trust females very much.

As I said before, it all just depends on the person, no one is to blame for the situation.

[Robotic Seahorse]

I really don't understand your question, but
1. my girlfriend has an absolute horrid relationship with her father, and we do fine. Sorta.
2. what about girls without fathers?

[WobinA]

Robotic Seahorse

I really don't understand your question, but
1. my girlfriend has an absolute horrid relationship with her father, and we do fine. Sorta.
2. what about girls without fathers?

Having a horrible relationship with the father is actually the point. I'm in the middle of a very good book on exactly this subject! It suggests that lovers choose partners who are similar to their parents because they have unfinished business (AKA: baggage) that needs to be resolved. The book is called Getting the Love You Want and I highly recommend it if you're interested in this topic. 3nodding

[Robotic Seahorse]

WobinA

Robotic Seahorse

I really don't understand your question, but
1. my girlfriend has an absolute horrid relationship with her father, and we do fine. Sorta.
2. what about girls without fathers?

Having a horrible relationship with the father is actually the point. I'm in the middle of a very good book on exactly this subject! It suggests that lovers choose partners who are similar to their parents because they have unfinished business (AKA: baggage) that needs to be resolved. The book is called Getting the Love You Want and I highly recommend it if you're interested in this topic. 3nodding

Okay I'll put it like this.
My girlfriend's horribly abused but I don't do these things... I'm her nice happy thing. We're here happy thoughts, her escape. Although she is moving out tomorrowwwww, yeah.

[Kit Kat Purrpurr]

I think that how a woman interacts with men is definitely affected by the relationship (or lack thereof) with her father. You grow to expect certain behaviors from guys and you view certain things as "normal." Say that a girl doesn't have a relationship with her father because her mother was single when she raised her. There's a chance she might expect guys to not have to keep a relationship with her, and views brief, sexual encounters as "normal." Not every woman will fall under this belief, but I think that there is something to it.

[Kit Kat Purrpurr]

catnapgood

Studies have shown that a woman will sometimes choose a spouse that shares similar characteristics to her own father.
When I find myself attracted to a man, I've noticed he usually has features that can be seen in my father: Dark hair, a larger nose, serious personality, beard or face stubble, etc.

I sometimes see these connections in females I've been attracted too. (Minus the facial hair part.)

My sister also dates men who look similar to our father.

I certaintly see this in my relationship. My boyfriend has the same habits that my dad does xD

[The Goddess of Earth]

Suincunemon

Its actually a known fact that girls that have bad relationships with their fathers end up being very promiscuous and always wanting attention from guys. We studied cases of that in sociology. But anyway, my point is that the girl could possibly have commitment problems and have a hard time trusting guys she's in relationships with. She'd be very insecure. No one is to really blame, it just kind of happens.

Not necessarily. I'm sure that's true for some women, or it could be said that the probability of women being very promiscuous and wanting attention from men is raised compared to those who have good relationships with their fathers. However, there are many girls who had bad relationships with their fathers who grow into very "emotionally healthy" women. 3nodding

As for the OP, I think that each situation is different. As some of the others have said, she may unconsciously seek relationships like the one she has/had with her father because she hopes to find closure, or maybe that's just all she knows. There's also the possibility that she's just not lucky at finding the right partners.

I'm not the kind of person to assign blame. I think it helps more to get her to acknowledge that she does have "daddy issues" (if she hasn't yet), find the best way to help her get over that baggage, then help her learn what a healthy relationship would look like for her.

I hope this helps! heart

[Meliora Fae]

I think people give that "daddy issues" theory more credence than it deserves. I'm not saying parents have no affect on their children's choices in romantic partners, but I'm not convinced that people go after partners so much like their [opposite sex] parents.

I don't think straight women date men more like their fathers in a subconscious effort to fix some father/daughter relationship issues. At least, I don't think that's common enough to be the rule.

[WobinA]

Robotic Seahorse

WobinA

Robotic Seahorse

I really don't understand your question, but
1. my girlfriend has an absolute horrid relationship with her father, and we do fine. Sorta.
2. what about girls without fathers?

Having a horrible relationship with the father is actually the point. I'm in the middle of a very good book on exactly this subject! It suggests that lovers choose partners who are similar to their parents because they have unfinished business (AKA: baggage) that needs to be resolved. The book is called Getting the Love You Want and I highly recommend it if you're interested in this topic. 3nodding

Okay I'll put it like this.
My girlfriend's horribly abused but I don't do these things... I'm her nice happy thing. We're here happy thoughts, her escape. Although she is moving out tomorrowwwww, yeah.

I'm not trying to accuse you of anything bad at all! These things are deep seated subconscious thoughts and very hard to just blatantly see. There's always exceptions to the rule too, I know nothing about your personal situation and wasn't trying to accuse anything. smile

I just know that the book addresses the very issue of the OP and it's actually quite interesting!

[Horace Burtons Ghost]

Freud had a theory which suggested much about Father/Daughter relationships. Not quite sure he got it right there exactly, but it did set the ball rolling, allowing us to speculate why anybody does anything.

In my opinion, the number of females studied to form such an opinion was far too small, yet many still run and defend his theories to the end. But they are of a different time, and should be treated as such. Depending on whether you think that the 'mind' has evolved since. I digress.

What you suggest is probably the result in a series of patterns, that form the basis of all our relationships. Growing up, a child sees how mum/dad interact. In the early years, this I would suggest is the main focus, and most prevalent. From that, the child grows up with a map of one strong example of how male/female interact. And that sometimes is 'the normal', since from an outsiders point of view, it appears odd that someone would be in a relationship that allows such and such.

There is no blame, no fault, since it is all the person knew, and we all go with what we feel 'comfortable'.

But, it is always up to the individual, in any relationship, that if they are not happy, can change the boundaries as to what is un/acceptable in the relationship they want to be in.

[Yin123]

I am going to interpret this as: Do girls base their opinions on men based on how their father acts?

To answer this question, it is partially true. If their father is the only man in their life (no brothers and such) it affects their views more so. If a father is abusive towards their daughter, the girl would be more secluded and not as comfortable towards men as other women would be, generally. This does not mean that they would fear men, they would simply be more cautious. Also, just because their father does something doesn't mean that's what a girl would look for in a guy. If the father was kind and not mean/abusive then yes, the girl would be slightly (VERY slightly) biased towards guys more like their father because this is how the girl grew up believing how men should act. On the contrary, if the girl grew up with their father beating them and abusing them, they would probably search for a man less like their father, this is what also causes them to be more cautious.

If the girl grew up with their father abusing them, the girl would grow up thinking that's how all men act. (This is assuming there are no other men in her life, mind you.) So of course, she would want to avoid men and be very cautious when choosing to talk to one, as they wouldn't want to find a man like their father. Who's to blame? If we have to choose, it would be the father. If we go deeper, such as why the father acts this way, we could blame it on grandparents and such. There is no true person to blame it on. Overall, the way a girl acts and reacts to things is based on many variables, and this is just one of them. It shouldn't be seen as the main reason someone acts the way they do.

Also, this is just from what I can piece together so don't be a b***h and be like "LOL YOU ARE SO WRONG HURP" Not saying any of you would do that looool. I have never taken any psychology courses and such. I just think its an interesting subject.

[chobitgirl61884]

twi_loves_you1

I am very interested in Psychology and so I would like to give a situation and a question at the end and everyone that would like to talk about this topic or any other or even to debate about a psychological topic please post.

I once heard that a woman's relationships are based on her relationship with her father. Well if that relationship isn't very good and the woman has bad romantic relationships do you think it is her fault? Who do you blame? Do you blame anyone?

Please feel free to say what you wish about this topic or any other topics that are about Psychology.

Thanks,
Twi

I am taking a course in Psychology and I recall a theory made by Sigmund Freud - Psychoanalysis - where he is theorizing that our present and future actions or behavior are largely determined by our unconscious motivations. He made a theory of psychosexual stages of development . This theory is based on our sexual instincts and Freud believed that our mental and emotional development roots from these instincts. If i remember correctly, it's in the phallic stage (between age three to five years old) that we begin to form sexual desires for the parent of opposite sex, called Electra complex for girls, and Oedipus complex for boys. According to Freud, unconsciously, we fear the other parent because of this idea that we want one parent for ourselves. Knowing this, we shatter these complexes by a strong desire to do what we need to do. That is to dissolve our desires for that parent. I think if there are problems during the phallic stage, it's possible that a woman's romantic relationships will be problematic. Although I have not read in Freud's theory that her romantic relationships will be affected if she grew up with a bad relationship with her father.

There's also a theory regarding problematic future relationships of an individual that stems from the babyhood stage, or maybe infancy, I can not recall the specific stage, that during this stage, if the parent especially the mother, shows affection and love and nurture toward the baby, that a bond, a sense of security, will be established, and separation from the mother will make the baby cry. And if the baby is abandoned or neglected, for example in the baby's 6th month, he will likely have intimacy issues or problems in his future relationships. It does not say that it be romantic relationship specifically.

In my own opinion, if a woman form bad relationships it's probably because she did not have a close relationship with her father in growing up. Not having a male figure at least, or father figure, might make her unaware of the needs of men in general. A father also, is important in instilling very important values such as independence and instilling moral judgment, moral values and the value of following the rules.

Regarding on who's to blame: It's not her fault, if we look at development as a result of good and bad parenting, and if blame is necessary, it would be the parents' fault, although yes, there are no perfect parents, but it IS their responsibility to provide the best care for their children. Also, if we consider the theory that our psyche is a blank sheet upon birth, waiting to be filled up, and parental influence plays a major role, it would be safe to say that the parents will have to be responsible for it. If we look at it in a different perspective. For example, existentialism, this theory proposes that we are responsible for ourselves, our actions, our coping mechanisms, and blaming others is being inauthentic. This theory suggests that we search ourselves and an increased level of awareness gives us an increased level of freedom but freedom goes hand in hand with responsibility for our actions and behavior.

As a conclusion, I think it depends really on which theory you would like to subscribe to. But if enough data is gathered, then we can find out for sure.

[RossetteAmi]

Women with terrible father-daughter relationships end up with worse relationships because they don't know what to look for in a man and with date manipulative, terrible people.

[Angry Willow Aye AM]

In dem vorliegenden Beitrag werden vor dem Hintergrund neuester Erkenntnisse aus der Linguistik, der Neurolinguistik und den Neurowissenschaften allgemein einige Gedanken zur Verwendung der Sprache in Psychoanalyse und Psychotherapie ausgeführt. Das Fazit ist, dass die Berücksichtigung der subsymbolischen/symbolischen sprachlichen Entwicklung des Kindes und der affektiven Abstimmung zwischen Kind und Umfeld in der psychotherapeutischen Beziehung von grundlegender Bedeutung ist.
In this article some general thoughts on the application of language in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy will be expressed against the background of the most recent findings in linguistics, neurolinguistics and neuroscience. The conclusion is that consideration of the subsymbolic/symbolic linguistic development of a child and the affective coordination between child and environment is of fundamental importance in the psychotherapeutic relationship.