im in a life crisis, i've lost myself in my own mental storm

[TaraLee72]

I dont know who I am anymore. I just turned 23 the other day and it made me realize how distant from everything I've become. I've lost all social contacts except for my friend who is sinking into the blackness of depression and is completely dependent on her boyfriend and my boyfriend who literally only wants to drink and watch tv show after tv show after tv show most days. I suffer badly from social anxiety disorder or social phobia and these are the only people I have left that I am close with. I think to myself 'I'm not tied down to these people, and who they are and what they decide to do with their lives, I can do whatever I want to do.' ...But I don't... I dont know what to do really. I'm so alone. I have no strength or confidence behind my voice, no one that truly knows my painful existence. I dont know what to say to people. It's not that I am a dull person, I just can't talk to people. And when I am alone, i just analyze and over think and worry, so much that I'm too distracted to really focus on anything I want in life. I'm in poor and in debt, my family is poor and in desparate need of help and far away, I lost two jobs after I suffered a grand mal seizure and had to drop out of school, i spent all my savings while not being able to work, I'm a permanent resident in this country and my sponsor has chosen to not pay for any of my expenses which they are legally required to do, I'm still in bad health and cant work. i dont know what to do anymore....

[Nitroglycerific Rainbow]

GO. TO. THERAPY.

Seriously. I'm not calling you crazy or anything like that. Therapists are far more qualified to help you navigate your issues than anyone on this forum. They are patient with you, and they are literally paid to listen. If finances are tight, many cities have a counseling service that can offer therapy at a scaled pay rate, so that if you make less money, you pay less money for therapy. I'm unemployed right now, and I'm able to get therapy for free. It really helps. You'll form a connection with your therapist, which can then help you get back into the world of forming connections with other people in a more permanent context.

Seriously. I'm of the opinion that everyone can benefit from therapy.

[29Dreams]

Therapy is your best option and if you are struggling with financial issues maybe you could get SSI. It is not the best answer but it can help. I do understand a lot of people are against it but if it helps isn't that what matters? I don't know much about your situation so I really can't help that much, sorry. I just wish you the best of luck. I hope things work out for you.

[thing2014]

Listen to Duncan Trussell or Alan Watts. You are part of a huge family sister heart Listen to True Love Will Find You in the End by Daniel Johnston or Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips or anything by Bob Marley. Read Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. Message me anytime, im going and have gone through similar things. Peace!