How do I make her admit so something is finally done??

[Squible]

Hmmmm I think its admirable what you want to do and that you want to help her and protect her, others and yourself from a man think this but I disagree hugely on the means on which you wish to do this.

You say that there is scientific proof that if you black out a trauma it can have serious mental issues. However the body does also have defence mechanisms that are there to protect the body and the mind from a traumatic event. So what her body might be doing is putting up these defences and trying to ignore for a while because it could also be unhealthy if a person of rape or an attempted rape is then made to try and remember stuff straight away.

I do not agree with some of the previous posts with thier thoughts on you that your worse than the man who attempted to rape the woman, but I do think that it does breach a massive trust that girl has obviously bestowed upon you and you wish to break this trust and go to the police.

What this woman/girl needs is your support and your help, guidance and that she knows that your someone she can trust and turn to. She has to be ready to make a proper statement to the police anyway because they would have to have thier own video statement or written statement that was done under regulations.

I know you want to help and I understand why, but I think if you really want to help her and that you want to go to the police it would just be off your back and you would just say "I know of a man who tried to rape a friend of mine" or something along those lines but even then its going behind her back.

A few questions: 1) you say you saw the person who attempted to rape the girl on the bus today. This does not mean that she hasn't reported it, it takes the police (well it does in the uk) a while to get the evidence and resources ready to make an arrest. Also she will have to make two statements for the police before they arrest him and this can take up to a month to go through.

2) Why did she report it to the bus driver? had it just happened? and its understandable that nothing happened and the bus driver didnt do anything, not many people know what to do when they have something like that told to them.

[Shattered_Blood_Molecules]

Squible

2) Why did she report it to the bus driver? had it just happened?

I think she reported it to the bus driver because, she didn't want to stay around the person who attempted to rape her. Because being in the back of the bus with someone who just attempted to rape her, while barely anyone is on the bus MUST be a scary situation.

Quote:

had it just happened?

She reported it to the bus driver around while it just recently occurred. Idk if that was your question, though.

[Saint Suffering]

I was raped by my last girlfriend. So I kind of know the situation. I didn't want anyone to help me I dealt with it myself.

I guess what I am saying is you claim to know what's best for her, but the truth is you know what"s best for you. It seems to me that you are doing this to make yourself the hero. She doesn't need a hero women are strong enough to handle things themselves. What if you are wrong about who it is. Did you see it happen?

[Shattered_Blood_Molecules]

Saint Suffering

I was raped by my last girlfriend. So I kind of know the situation. I didn't want anyone to help me I dealt with it myself.

I guess what I am saying is you claim to know what's best for her, but the truth is you know what"s best for you. It seems to me that you are doing this to make yourself the hero. She doesn't need a hero women are strong enough to handle things themselves. What if you are wrong about who it is. Did you see it happen?

No, I did not see it happen. I know she said he is the rapist. And, plus it is obvious he is a rapist he yells at me just because, when he asks to have sex with me I say no. And, when he asked that he barely knew me, I barely knew him.

[Betty Rae Penny Snowflake]

Shattered_Blood_Molecules

mrs_chester_bennington

Sometimes the process of reporting a sexual assault is worse than the actual assault. Keep that in mind. I know you want to stop a rapist but if you take a recording of the victim to the cops, first of all they probably won't be able to do anything if she won't even want to testify, secondly, if it did go ahead, think of the embarrassment for her. If she wants to forget about it then let her, some people don't want to feel like a victim, and forcing them to, and putting the privacy of the assualt at risk (as if she had to go to the police station, her family might ask why), is often what makes rape worse.

There is scientific proof IT is mentally UNHELATHY to blackout traumas, and that blacking out traumas does MORE harm than good, if blacked out for a certain amount of time. If she is going to admit to me about the abuse she wouldn't mind admitting it to the cops, because I don't know her well, and never meant her well, because she has a tenancy of upsetting me intentionally.

Quote:

I personally think you must find it humorous for some odd reason to risk the girl I am referring to risk suffering again. I am assuming he will attempt to rape her again. Sometimes, people feel a whole lot better when they talk about what happened to them, even though they think that in the end it will make them feel worse.

lol not going to the police =/= not talking about it to anyone ever. stop acting like, if she doesn't report this, she won't be able to process it or deal with it at all. it might be very helpful for her to talk about it, but that doesn't have to be to a cop. it could be to a firend or a parent or a counselloer or anyone. or maybe she's just the kind of person who wants to deal with this sort of thing on there own, that isn't impossible.

i understand if you want to help her, but you need to understand that what you think is best for her might nnot really be best for her. everyone one is different, people deal with this sort of thing in different ways. if she doesn't want to report it, then that is her choice, not yours. trying to force her to do something she doesn't want is only going to make the whole thing more traumatic.

be supportive and all that, listen to her if she needs it, but other than that you just need to sit down and shut the ******** up. her assault and how she handles it is none of your business.