"Cutting is for Emos."

[Rikki Rottenheart]

The issue of cutting/self-harm seems to be thriving on this forum. Yes, it's a very controversial issue with two extreme sides. I figured I would start my own thread (with a catchy subject to get everyone's attention) instead of inserting a small comment under someone else's thread. Now, first off, most of the people who "debate" this subject (rather poorly, I might add) are extremists from both sides of the coin.

Side 1:
"Cutting is for emos. They hurt themselves because they want attention. It's stupid, and it's wrong. They need to get a life and stop complaining about their trivial problems. They should be ostracized."

Side 2:
"I cut because I'm depressed. Depression is a serious thing, and if it goes untreated it can lead to suicide. It needs to be recognized as a vital issue in our society."

Let me tell you something. I've been on both sides of the coin. (And by the way, I did actually just read a post that said cutters should be "ostracized". Wow. Mideival much?) For those who support the first argument: I know what you mean. Why would anyone hurt themselves? Are they nuts? What good can come from someone slicing/burning/erasing/etc. their skin? Nothing. I agreed with you once. I didn't see the logic, and I believed in the stereotype that only "emos" cut, and that they did it for attention. But I thought this way because I had never seen things through the eyes of a cutter. And that, I believe, is where the validity of your arguments expire.

You don't know. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. In fact, if you have never faced the issue of self-harm, if you have never once in your life been tempted by it, then I consider you lucky. I envy you. At one point even I believed that I was strong enough to resist. However, even the strongest fall victim. I'm not a weak person by any means. I'm also not an irrational one, and I'm certainly not "emo". Yet, I was burdened with the addiction to self-harm. And that is when I found that I could relate to those who agree with the second argument above. Depression, stress, etc. can do scary things. A mental or emotional disorder, however minute, can change a person in dangerous ways. This is where people who have never experienced have the shorter hand. They do not understand how a slight imbalance can completely alter human thought and reason. One finds oneself unmotivated, angry, depressed, doing things that one normally would never do. When I am at my lowest point, I (a straight-A student) stop caring about grades. I stop caring about anything, really. I skip school (which, for the record, I am not the type to just blow off school because I don't care about my high school career). I sink into a very dark place, and that is when I cut.

Believe me when I say I know it's wrong. I find it stupid and repulsive, and yet...it is morbidly fascinating and self-satisfying as well. It's hard to explain the mentality of a cutter to someone who has never found themself in this situation before. To those of you who have not, I encourage you to keep on that path. It's a good one, and a healthy one. However, I hope you will also take a moment to consider that you've never been on the other side of the coin. So how can you call cutters "posers" or "emos", or insult them and call them stupid when you don't even know? You don't even know.

Whelp, I hope I provided some insight. Please, only post here if you have something intelligent to say/argue. No narrow-minded responses.

[kari-fae]

wow katey you didn't tell me it was so long! hehe but yes i am a VERY open-minded person, as you well know, and i, too, have been on both sides of the coin. but if you think about it logically, not just about the satisfaction cutting brings, but the endorphins it releases make absolute sense. mostly unhappy people, generally speaking, cut. but cutting releases endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. makes perfect sense xD

[Jessalina]

I've always thought that cutting oneself was a way to relive stress. I personally could never bring myself to do it, but I guess my way of reliving stress is somewhat "self-harm". I know usually people think of depression for being the reason. But stress can be behind that too. Some people might not realize that they're doing (I never do, not at first).

However I can understand why people might call cutters "posers" or "emos" some people (I've met a girl who did this) would cut herself just so that she could "fit in". It was weird because no one else I knew cut themselves. Also some people don't really understand, why some people might actually cut themselves, because they are close minded and have never done it before.

[Rikki Rottenheart]

@Deb: Whoops, sorry! Didn't mean to leave out the length part. lol.

@Jessalina: Yes, I've also known people who cut to simply "fit in". Although I think it's ridiculous and slightly offensive, that also verges on a psychological disorder. o_0''

[Chimestress]

I find cutting repulsive.
That feeling makes quitting that much harder.
It's hard not to hate yourself when you consciously do something you despise.
And it's hard not to try to relieve that hatred using the method that you think works.
Only, it doesn't work. And you know that. But in that one moment when the blood starts to flow, and you feel that bliss...

My apologies, I'm being vague and talking in circles around myself.

[Rikki Rottenheart]

@Chimestress: You may think you're being vague and talking in circles, but I know exactly what you mean. And I can certainly relate to it.

[kami two]

isn't it more like a downward spiral than a circle..
getting worse, worse, and worse..
accepting yourself is the key.

[kari-fae]

it's hard to accept yourself when you hate yourself and what you're doing to yourself and you hate your life and you just want the pain to go away.....

[Chiyo Suzaku]

It's very relieving at times. Psychologically hurting yourself releases endorphins (which has properties simmilar to morphine), so it actually does help, although it can go too far. Personally I've never told anyone not to do it unless they were actually doing it just for attention or going too far. I've done it. I've never cut myself, but I used to burn myself. Personally I believe that a persons body is their and they have a right to do what they want with it, as long as they aren't physically hurting another person. If cutting makes you feel better, I'm not gonna tell you not to do it, unless you're doing it for attention.


edit: Also, It's better than holding your emotions in. Lately I've been very depressed but I don't get violent or hurt myself because it upsets my boyfriend. And really I feel much worse just sitting around thinking about how terrible I feel and not doing anything.

[Disturbed_Sanctuary]

I hate "cutting is for emos". It...gets under my skin I guess. I hate the assumption that all self-harmers want attention. I also hate the joking matter that modern teenagers seem to take towards cutting. People take it so lightly, and it makes me uncomfortable when my friends joke about it. But there's no way to tell them to stop without people asking questions.

And I know the feeling of it being repulsive. I have a mix of emotions after I hurt myself. It upsets me to know I've made myself bleed, but I also feel relief.

And I myself am certainly not emo as well. I'm not even depressed. I'm just dealing with everything and trying to stop.

[malevolus42]

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

Personally, I don't understand emo and frankly don't want to. From what I see on the outside, it's just another fad teens flock to like goth, punk, jock, prep, etc. The flock of seagulls hair and guys wearing woman's jeans is just plain dumb.

[Pelucheux]

I've been on the second side of that coin. I always get mixed feelings when someone says it for emos. Its sort of shame because I did it, anger because people do it for attention and annoyance that people think everyone who does/did it did it for attention. I also find it really hard to make anyone understand unless they've been there themselves.

When I hear of someone doing it sometimes I assume they just want attention. Other time I just can't respond because I don't know what to tell them. Would it be hypocritical to tell them its bad and not to do it? What if they have a good reason? What is a good reason? Are all the reasons used stupid?

I dunno. People should just make a better distinction between attention whores and people with a real issue.

[Rikki Rottenheart]

malevolus42

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

Personally, I don't understand emo and frankly don't want to. From what I see on the outside, it's just another fad teens flock to like goth, punk, jock, prep, etc. The flock of seagulls hair and guys wearing woman's jeans is just plain dumb.

malevolus42, I believe you're in the wrong thread. This topic has nothing to do with emos; it deals with cutting and self-harm. If you are ignorant enough to assume that everyone posting in this thread is emo, I feel sorry for you and your narrow-mindedness.

[shiithappens]

Cutting and self harm, period, to me, was a way to control the pain I was recieveing.

I am far from "Emo"

I am the straight A, honor student that just took on too much.
I have a great job, a great family and a pretty good life.
I just took on too much at a time when life decided to go south.
So many things started to hurt me, to cause me pain and I felt I had no power over how much it hurt me.

Self harm was my answer.

Although I see it as wrong now, it was and still is hard.
It's hard to not cut after six months.
Even now, as I am going through somethings, I still find it hard to be in a room, by myself, with thoughts racing through my head and my fingers itching for a blade or a scarf or a needle ((Not for drug use)).

Everyday is a struggle and I'm taking it head on.
Even if I'm feeling like I am in a major slump, i don't wanna start harming again.