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Even if being gay is some deep rooted aspect of yourself buried deep deep within your brain, I'm sure there are enough drugs to at least turn someone "not gay", it's likely they'd be near catatonic near the end, but hey, better than gay.

stare



*after reading my post I think I should probably point out that there is a fair amount of sarcasm above, incase it is not obvious.
Eclair_Ramos's avatar

Beloved Hunter

I'm not sure a person can just go from being straight to gay to straight again.

Meh...I half joke with friends from time to time that I wish I could be a lesbian. I say half joke, because a part of me believes it would be nice to be a lesbian. Who would better understand my female physical and emotional needs than another woman? Sadly, I could never visualize myself romantically with a woman.



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Ya know, some times being gay is rough ^^; When you're single, and a little lonely, every day you wake up and see men everywhere and know that probably every one of them is straight. Wouldn't finding companionship be so much eaiser if he was into girls, most of the ones he'd see are probably at least into men, so of course. But reality is, he's gay, and once he accepts the fact, it gets easier. Maybe things will change and he might find a nice girl, but he shouldn't count on it. Good luck with your friend. Just be there for him.
chromealias's avatar

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No it's just the way you're wired up. I've heard stories of women becoming bi later in life but I'm not sure if it was being closeted or what.
It might be possible to change it. Though it's not something I personally have looked into it because I believe that if someone is attracted to another it shouldn't matter what gender. I'm bi, partially by choice and partially not. The choice is not wanting to restrict my feelings towards someone based on their gender. The part that's not choice is I'm more physically attracted to women but get along better with men.

Though I think he needs to learn to embrace who he is more than change it. I have a friend who was in a marriage and had three kids, but was truly much more happy when he finally came out and was proud to be who he is.
is it possible for someone to be influenced by the people they are around to change their sexuality?

adding to that, is it also possible for sexuality to be influenced by feeling strongly in support of one sexuality? (homosexuality) / would it be influenced by friends/media about homosexuality in the same line of thought?
Wherebear's avatar

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Mmmm. Is it in your friend's nature to be gay, or does he believe there was an event in his life that caused him to be gay? Is he happy being gay? If it is in his nature, then this will infallibly be a yes. Even if it was caused by an event in his life that caused his brain structure to change, he may still truly be happy as he is now. If one finds a trait that isn't in one's inherent nature, it can be eradicated through contemplation of the cause. What I mean is, if an event that took place in your life before you were fully able to comprehend it's meaning caused you to be confused, then re-experiencing the cause with a greater facility to comprehend it could bring a change in the way a person feels about it.
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Aside from that, you could speculate on the benefits or drawbacks of being gay. Homosexuality is not conventionally seen in the western world as a natural trait. Unnatural, because it does not have a place in promoting humanity's most basic instinct, which is to survive by replenishing our numbers through intercourse between men and women. But in cultures where survival is not as much of an issue, this is not the case. Vaguely speaking, in eastern spirituality and also in pagan religions, there is an emphasis on the divine interplay between feminine and masculine forces. Even in the Bible, it is apparent that male and female roles are integrated in some way. Just look at the sexual symbolism in the Shir Hashirim (Song of Songs), for example. In mystical Judaism, the angels that sat atop the ark were said to be locked in a sensual embrace when the people of Israel were on good terms with God, and turned away from each other bitterly when the people rebelled. The divine presence of God was created by the combination of masculine and feminine energies of the two angels. Similarly, the Kundalini tradition in yoga promotes the existence of both masculine and feminine energies within an individual. The culmination of the two complimentary entities is what spiritually elevates a student of Kundalini practitioner. There are various other parallels, but I think the point has been made sufficient for the sake of this problem. Judging by this, it could be said at the very least that an expressed need for balance between masculine and feminine is deeply inherent in humanity.
So does homosexuality deviate from this? In my opinion, only if there is a lack of masculine or feminine energies. Love transcends flesh and the genetics that rule it.
Aporeia's avatar

Destructive Friend

Just Let It Go
so i have a friend who is gay..and he always says being straight will be better and more easier to deal with. i have told him a couple of times that being gay is not a choice but he says he still wants to be straight again...what are your views on this
I, personally, don't believe that someone can be just gay and can't do anything about it. There are things about yourself you may not like, but that doesn't mean they can't be changed, even if they are deep and hard to get rid of. If he wants to change then let him. I'm so sick and tired of people shoehorning everyone into this bs "be who you are" fad. If I hate myself, I should change myself. If I struggle with a part of me that's intrinsic to who I am, then I need to change who I am.

If this friend of yours struggles with sexuality, and wants to not be gay, then don't feed them the line "just be you." Maybe he doesn't want to be himself, maybe he wants to be someone new.
Stunnin Denzel's avatar

Fashionable Tycoon

False Dichotomy
Just Let It Go
so i have a friend who is gay..and he always says being straight will be better and more easier to deal with. i have told him a couple of times that being gay is not a choice but he says he still wants to be straight again...what are your views on this
I, personally, don't believe that someone can be just gay and can't do anything about it. There are things about yourself you may not like, but that doesn't mean they can't be changed, even if they are deep and hard to get rid of. If he wants to change then let him. I'm so sick and tired of people shoehorning everyone into this bs "be who you are" fad. If I hate myself, I should change myself. If I struggle with a part of me that's intrinsic to who I am, then I need to change who I am.

If this friend of yours struggles with sexuality, and wants to not be gay, then don't feed them the line "just be you." Maybe he doesn't want to be himself, maybe he wants to be someone new.


so what are you suggesting... in which way can he change his sexuality
While there are cases of orientation changing, it does not seem to be something that can be done voluntarily or forced, but rather just happens on rare occasions. It may be influenced largely by hormones, because I know that it's not uncommon for post-op transgender people to experience a switch in sexual orientation. Also, some orientations seem more prone to change than others. People who are asexual may become asexual when once they were not, or they may be asexual at one point in their lives but later become sexual.

If one looks at the "pray the gay away" camps and such, one can clearly conclude that orientation cannot be changed based on willpower and desire for it to change alone. While it can happen, for most people it settles down and becomes static, so I wouldn't recommend an individual spending time trying to force their orientation to change. It would most likely just result in distress and unhappiness and a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself rather than a change of orientation, so it would be by far less detrimental to one's mental health and more likely to succeed if they chose to accept themselves as they are rather than trying to change something as complicated as orientation.
Aporeia's avatar

Destructive Friend

Just Let It Go
False Dichotomy
Just Let It Go
so i have a friend who is gay..and he always says being straight will be better and more easier to deal with. i have told him a couple of times that being gay is not a choice but he says he still wants to be straight again...what are your views on this
I, personally, don't believe that someone can be just gay and can't do anything about it. There are things about yourself you may not like, but that doesn't mean they can't be changed, even if they are deep and hard to get rid of. If he wants to change then let him. I'm so sick and tired of people shoehorning everyone into this bs "be who you are" fad. If I hate myself, I should change myself. If I struggle with a part of me that's intrinsic to who I am, then I need to change who I am.

If this friend of yours struggles with sexuality, and wants to not be gay, then don't feed them the line "just be you." Maybe he doesn't want to be himself, maybe he wants to be someone new.


so what are you suggesting... in which way can he change his sexuality
Stop holding on to that part of his life, and just let it go. If he truly wants it gone, then he - on his own - has to make it happen.
Stunnin Denzel's avatar

Fashionable Tycoon

False Dichotomy
Just Let It Go
False Dichotomy
Just Let It Go
so i have a friend who is gay..and he always says being straight will be better and more easier to deal with. i have told him a couple of times that being gay is not a choice but he says he still wants to be straight again...what are your views on this
I, personally, don't believe that someone can be just gay and can't do anything about it. There are things about yourself you may not like, but that doesn't mean they can't be changed, even if they are deep and hard to get rid of. If he wants to change then let him. I'm so sick and tired of people shoehorning everyone into this bs "be who you are" fad. If I hate myself, I should change myself. If I struggle with a part of me that's intrinsic to who I am, then I need to change who I am.

If this friend of yours struggles with sexuality, and wants to not be gay, then don't feed them the line "just be you." Maybe he doesn't want to be himself, maybe he wants to be someone new.


so what are you suggesting... in which way can he change his sexuality
Stop holding on to that part of his life, and just let it go. If he truly wants it gone, then he - on his own - has to make it happen.
..
Good point.thanks for helping out

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