Being ugly is a curse in America.

[A Powerful Sage]

I am tired of being called names, and hated and told to "man up" and whatever...

I do do that, and what do I get? I get used and hated even more, stared at like a freak, called disgusting. And worse...

Everything in America is about how you look. I bathe, take care of my hygiene and still considered ugly. If I were rich, more people would want me and more people would respect I am a human being and that I love and enjoy the same things they do. That I breathe the same air they do, that I am a human being who has the same hurt and pain they do.
Things could be so much worse for people, yet they spend time picking on people's looks and statuses? Maybe If I got cancer, would that make people respect me more? Because deep down, we are all cowards who are afraid of death and not succeeding.

I can't take it. Yeah I ignore what people say, then like an imploding time bomb, it gets gradually worse. I talk to a therapist and what happens? It comes back later. I never had the experiences everyone else makes the most important parts of their lives. So, I mean... I don't care about that much but I just wish people would know what my social anxiety has done to me. Crippling and anguishing. I am still trying to recover and not be as hostile and pissed off and the more I try my Confidence I keep trying to fake, more s**t attitudes... I'll end up alone forever at this rate. Because nobody in the world cares about kindness and even if you read this, you'll probably contemplate some harsh remark or whatever to blow my fuse.

And if you come here starting drama with me, I'll delete your post and probably report you so please don't bother. Life is already terrible as it is, so why do you bother to make it worse?

[savagesarge]

Life isn't easy man. You'll get better days. Try to make the most of what you have right now. Do you have close ones? Cherish and nourish those relationships man. You'll find salvation within.

Take care.

[vegan shrimp kabob]

I'd rather be ugly than poor

[spellslave]

❝ Different cultures have different standards of beauty. I would say perhaps look outside of the American culture for romantic, dating or even casual prospects? ❞

[A Powerful Sage]

spellslave

❝ Different cultures have different standards of beauty. I would say perhaps look outside of the American culture for romantic, dating or even casual prospects? ❞

Funny you say that, I had an ex who was Saudi Arabian and they definitely DO view beauty differently. Me and her would always talk about it. She'd always tell me, "These people must be blind!", her and her sisters found me really really attractive and cute and funny.

So I see that.

But then, it gets to the thought of imperialism and all these hollywood movies with a ridiculously good looking white man/white woman. That's like 90% of every American movie, and I think these movies will spread like wildfire, making everyone in that culture hate anybody else who doesn't fit that movie's norms.

[spellslave]

A Powerful Sage

spellslave

❝ Different cultures have different standards of beauty. I would say perhaps look outside of the American culture for romantic, dating or even casual prospects? ❞

Funny you say that, I had an ex who was Saudi Arabian and they definitely DO view beauty differently. Me and her would always talk about it. She'd always tell me, "These people must be blind!", her and her sisters found me really really attractive and cute and funny.

So I see that.

But then, it gets to the thought of imperialism and all these hollywood movies with a ridiculously good looking white man/white woman. That's like 90% of every American movie, and I think these movies will spread like wildfire, making everyone in that culture hate anybody else who doesn't fit that movie's norms.

❝ I know the feeling. My own self-esteem is slowly improving/better than what it was years ago, as the result of at least 7 - 8 years of being told I was ugly, unattractive etc. Best you can really do is to keep your head above any of the comments trying to pull you down.

Doesn't help that not all of those movies are even remotely historically accurate either. ❞

[A Powerful Sage]

spellslave

A Powerful Sage

spellslave

❝ Different cultures have different standards of beauty. I would say perhaps look outside of the American culture for romantic, dating or even casual prospects? ❞

Funny you say that, I had an ex who was Saudi Arabian and they definitely DO view beauty differently. Me and her would always talk about it. She'd always tell me, "These people must be blind!", her and her sisters found me really really attractive and cute and funny.

So I see that.

But then, it gets to the thought of imperialism and all these hollywood movies with a ridiculously good looking white man/white woman. That's like 90% of every American movie, and I think these movies will spread like wildfire, making everyone in that culture hate anybody else who doesn't fit that movie's norms.

❝ I know the feeling. My own self-esteem is slowly improving/better than what it was years ago, as the result of at least 7 - 8 years of being told I was ugly, unattractive etc. Best you can really do is to keep your head above any of the comments trying to pull you down.

Doesn't help that not all of those movies are even remotely historically accurate either. ❞

Pft me and you both, I STILL AM trying to recover myself so you aren't alone.
It's difficult and all the negative souls and ill-minded people I've met along the way, I just got tired of their BS and deleted them or blocked them out my life, and apologized to them and tried to wish them the best.
But I can never get over the anxiety and trauma they cause me and others and that is something I will stand against till the day I die.

On an unrelated note, that recent movie called Exodus took place in Africa, and the characters are supposed to be Dark-skinned, there was this (unsuccessful) campaign to boycott the movie and raise awareness on the issue, I think it went mostly unnoticed, unfortunately.

[Mikki The Fart Bender]

Everybody's perspective of beauty is different.
Not everyone is going to think the same about you.
To me, I stopped caring what people see me as.
An ugly person, or a pretty person.
All I know is, I will never be satisfied with myself.
I'll look in the mirror and just stare.
Constantly thinking how I am just a hideous being.

I'm sorry you go through all that. I have gone through quite a bit as well growing up.
To be told I am ugly by my own family, even.

But damn, I never cared. I got a boyfriend who loves me for who I am.
All I need to really focus on is getting better.
Mental illness > my appearance.
What really matters more?

[spellslave]

A Powerful Sage

spellslave

A Powerful Sage

spellslave

❝ Different cultures have different standards of beauty. I would say perhaps look outside of the American culture for romantic, dating or even casual prospects? ❞

Funny you say that, I had an ex who was Saudi Arabian and they definitely DO view beauty differently. Me and her would always talk about it. She'd always tell me, "These people must be blind!", her and her sisters found me really really attractive and cute and funny.

So I see that.

But then, it gets to the thought of imperialism and all these hollywood movies with a ridiculously good looking white man/white woman. That's like 90% of every American movie, and I think these movies will spread like wildfire, making everyone in that culture hate anybody else who doesn't fit that movie's norms.

❝ I know the feeling. My own self-esteem is slowly improving/better than what it was years ago, as the result of at least 7 - 8 years of being told I was ugly, unattractive etc. Best you can really do is to keep your head above any of the comments trying to pull you down.

Doesn't help that not all of those movies are even remotely historically accurate either. ❞

Pft me and you both, I STILL AM trying to recover myself so you aren't alone.
It's difficult and all the negative souls and ill-minded people I've met along the way, I just got tired of their BS and deleted them or blocked them out my life, and apologized to them and tried to wish them the best.
But I can never get over the anxiety and trauma they cause me and others and that is something I will stand against till the day I die.

On an unrelated note, that recent movie called Exodus took place in Africa, and the characters are supposed to be Dark-skinned, there was this (unsuccessful) campaign to boycott the movie and raise awareness on the issue, I think it went mostly unnoticed, unfortunately.

❝ Re. Exodus; I've heard of the campaign but, the Egyptians weren't dark-skinned. Nor were they white. Link. The Egyptians have always been difficult to identify ethnicity-wise, because while certain skull-based attributes are preserved, eye colour and skin colour is not due to the process of mummification. As the article I linked said, they should've gone not necessarily for white or black actors, but Middle-Eastern or Jewish ones with the more appropriate skintone. They were black Pharoahs, but then again, so were there also Pharoahs of Greek descent later on down the line! ❞

[A Powerful Sage]

Happy Foxcore

Everybody's perspective of beauty is different.
Not everyone is going to think the same about you.
To me, I stopped caring what people see me as.
An ugly person, or a pretty person.
All I know is, I will never be satisfied with myself.
I'll look in the mirror and just stare.
Constantly thinking how I am just a hideous being.

I'm sorry you go through all that. I have gone through quite a bit as well growing up.
To be told I am ugly by my own family, even.

But damn, I never cared. I got a boyfriend who loves me for who I am.
All I need to really focus on is getting better.
Mental illness > my appearance.
What really matters more?

Maybe you never really cared because you aren't genuinely ugly, I am looking at your pic in your signature, you aren't actually unattractive by any conventional means, You also have a boyfriend. So therefore your opinion isn't very broad on this subject, just saying.

[Mikki The Fart Bender]

A Powerful Sage

What do you mean by that exactly?

It's not that I never cared.
I did care growing up. Feel like being told that I am ugly by my family or people from school led me to believe it.
And now, I still think I am.
But if people were to tell me their opinions on how I look, I would most likely just move on.
It does not affect me anymore, not like it did years ago.

And what of this subject?
You being told that you are ugly, was it?
It's just my two cents. Because I think everyone should not worry about how they look.
What is more important is your personality.

[Mari is INACTIVE]

Depends on the definition of ugly. And what "kind" of ugly, because America has a lot of different groups of what is considered "ugly."

[Miku-Marmalade]

On occasion at night, I would fantasize about getting breast cancer and allowing it to kill me. My mother died the same way, I would convince myself.
Then I mentally slap myself because while I spend most of my time cooped up alone I acknowledge that type of fantasizing is extremely negative and irrational to my current situation.
I do have a mindset that I'm a bombshell in the sense of I find myself worth life. I also find others life generally worth it, even if they are superficial. Yes looks are important, it's an easy outward way to see if one cares about themselves. On the contrary, just because one dresses well doesn't mean they aren't homeless, or horrible with managing their money, overcompensates a something horrendous through a pretty smile, ect.
As of now I weigh 19 st 8lbs. Not the American ideal or even close. Because I'm openly obsessed with fashion culture and understand the vanity of it, I laugh the standards that gets you in the "it crowd". I think to myself "if I can create that [random fashion item, such as the newest it bag] just by looking at it..."

Dammit, I strayed waaaaaaaaaaaay off topic, sweatdrop

Life isn't peachy, but may I suggest that you start off by slowing down the thought life is already terrible.

Maybe, life is already terrible, but I acknowledge my own perspective may be a little screwed right now.

And try to find something humorous to watch, read, etc.
Also, what region do you reside nearby? I used to live in Florida so I know beauty standards can be quite ridiculous and often get to people's head.

[A Powerful Sage]

Miku-Marmalade

On occasion at night, I would fantasize about getting breast cancer and allowing it to kill me. My mother died the same way, I would convince myself.
Then I mentally slap myself because while I spend most of my time cooped up alone I acknowledge that type of fantasizing is extremely negative and irrational to my current situation.
I do have a mindset that I'm a bombshell in the sense of I find myself worth life. I also find others life generally worth it, even if they are superficial. Yes looks are important, it's an easy outward way to see if one cares about themselves. On the contrary, just because one dresses well doesn't mean they aren't homeless, or horrible with managing their money, overcompensates a something horrendous through a pretty smile, ect.
As of now I weigh 19 st 8lbs. Not the American ideal or even close. Because I'm openly obsessed with fashion culture and understand the vanity of it, I laugh the standards that gets you in the "it crowd". I think to myself "if I can create that [random fashion item, such as the newest it bag] just by looking at it..."

Dammit, I strayed waaaaaaaaaaaay off topic, sweatdrop

Life isn't peachy, but may I suggest that you start off by slowing down the thought life is already terrible.

Maybe, life is already terrible, but I acknowledge my own perspective may be a little screwed right now.

And try to find something humorous to watch, read, etc.
Also, what region do you reside nearby? I used to live in Florida so I know beauty standards can be quite ridiculous and often get to people's head.

Okay I'm sorry to hear that.
I don't like fashion nor superficiality
I live in North Carolina.

[Perpetually Perplexed]

A Powerful Sage

Miku-Marmalade

On occasion at night, I would fantasize about getting breast cancer and allowing it to kill me. My mother died the same way, I would convince myself.
Then I mentally slap myself because while I spend most of my time cooped up alone I acknowledge that type of fantasizing is extremely negative and irrational to my current situation.
I do have a mindset that I'm a bombshell in the sense of I find myself worth life. I also find others life generally worth it, even if they are superficial. Yes looks are important, it's an easy outward way to see if one cares about themselves. On the contrary, just because one dresses well doesn't mean they aren't homeless, or horrible with managing their money, overcompensates a something horrendous through a pretty smile, ect.
As of now I weigh 19 st 8lbs. Not the American ideal or even close. Because I'm openly obsessed with fashion culture and understand the vanity of it, I laugh the standards that gets you in the "it crowd". I think to myself "if I can create that [random fashion item, such as the newest it bag] just by looking at it..."

Dammit, I strayed waaaaaaaaaaaay off topic, sweatdrop

Life isn't peachy, but may I suggest that you start off by slowing down the thought life is already terrible.

Maybe, life is already terrible, but I acknowledge my own perspective may be a little screwed right now.

And try to find something humorous to watch, read, etc.
Also, what region do you reside nearby? I used to live in Florida so I know beauty standards can be quite ridiculous and often get to people's head.

Okay I'm sorry to hear that.
I don't like fashion nor superficiality
I live in North Carolina.

Understandle that you don't like fashion. If I triggered any unhappiness just now, I apologize ahead of time. I wouldnt be too proud to open any mental wounds by triggering anything.
Ah. I am in Georgia. The sun is shining today. (Attempt at positive conversation?)