Tћε Uηsεεη Sαviσr Tσ Lαmbs aη∂ Wσℓvεs

[XoX A Secret Dreamer XoX]

As I had thought before, Jasper felt so right that it was almost surprising. He kneeled down slightly and rested his head on my neck. My eyes closed in comfort, and the pain was soothed slightly by the security I felt as Jazz wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face into his neck, and inhaled Jasper’s scent as we both stood there. He set a hand on my head, and I only held myself close to him. Everything seemed so right. Despite the fact that I was completely and totally aware of every shred of guilt, pain, and depression in my body, it sat in the background as the only thing that I could feel became us. Out of anything that had happened today, this felt the most right, the most normal.

Jazz pulled away slightly, and I looked into his eyes, seeing my reflection in his irises. Unlike before, I did not look away from the pain that still lingered in my own eyes. What Jasper spoke sent every other thought out of my mind. Smiling softly, the same smile that I had smiled for Bella, except a bit more intimate, I nodded and rested my head back on Jasper’s neck.

“I love you too, Jazz. I love you too.” Just barely, I whispered into his ear before kissing his temple and then finally staying still, reveling in the moment that the both of us were experiencing. There was only one other time that I had felt something similar to the levels of security I was feeling now: the first night of our honeymoon.

I sighed and looked out the window of our car as Jasper drove on and on through the countryside. Jasper just smugly smiled, and I smiled as well. He knew I was getting impatient; I already knew where we were going. Why couldn’t we just walk there? Only five hours ago had we gotten married. It was now March 23rd, 1952, and I had only remembered the past thirty-two years of my life, twenty-eight of them being spent searching for the man that now sat beside me in the car we were now both in. One year of my life I had spent falling love with Jasper. The other three, I just loved him even more every day. There was also our newfound family to add into the mix. We both had siblings now, and parents; two things that neither of us truly had before we had finally met the Cullens. Jasper told me he had a sister when he was younger, but he couldn’t even remember her name. I couldn’t remember any of my human life. So, you could say we had finally found a good family for us.

Finally, Jasper pulled onto a dirt drive. I grinned widely. We were now somewhere in North Carolina, the only state that Jasper and I hadn’t gone to when we were searching for the Cullens. Jasper shook his head and smiled; my emotions were all over the place. “Be patient, my love.” I wrinkled my nose and laughed softly as Jasper kept driving.

“I’m trying, Jazz.” Jasper laughed as well, and I watched him softly. The smile on his face highlighted several scars on his face, and I smiled at them. While Jasper had finally embraced his scars for something that was now a part of him, he still loathed every one that had a place on his skin. One time before he had pointed to several scars on his face, and told me of the newborn that created the scar. It was a hard and painful night, but a night that also created a lot of feelings between the two of us that hadn’t been there before.

“Not much longer you will have to wait, Alice. Not much longer.”

“Good.” Jasper laughed again, and our hands that were linked together between us shivered together slightly. I watched our hands, and then placed my other hand on the other side of his, and let my thumbs massage Jasper’s skin softly. There were another four or five scars on each of his hands, but it seemed as though it just made our hands fit together that much better, with my smooth hands, and then his scarred ones. They kind of fit together like puzzle pieces, almost. And even if Jasper didn’t like his scars, they were a constant reminder to me of exactly how brave he was, and how much pain he endured, and then the way that I had healed him over the two years that we had been searching for our new family.

Jasper smiled at me and I smiled back, his topaz eyes soft on mine, just as the way that he had looked at me when I had walked down the aisle, only a few hours ago. Ah, the memory was definitely one that I kept replaying in my mind. It was one of the happier ones in my life.

Jasper’s eyes peeled from mine, and then he smiled and pointed to a gravel road, branching off from the dirt one we were both currently traveling on. I smiled and sat straighter in my seat as I strained to see the place that I was going to be spending the next few days, weeks months, whatever, with Jazz. Despite the fact that, like any other vampire, I had perfect sight, my height still was a burden when I wanted to see things sometimes. Jazz caught onto my slight struggle, my emotions probably hinting into that, and he chuckled softly. And then, his hand was over my eyes.

“Jazz?”

“One second, Alice. I was actually hoping that you wouldn’t be able to see the house so I could surprise you.” I rolled my eyes under Jasper’s hand.

“Surprise me as much as you can.” Jasper laughed again. Even in the mere four years that I had known Jasper, he seemed to be able to find ways to manipulate himself around my visions. I had seen our destination before, and Jazz knew that, so why was he trying to surprise me in the first place? There had to be something I was missing…

“And don’t go looking.”

“You know me too well.” We both laughed this time around, and before I knew it, Jasper had parked the car. Excitement shot through me as I tried to comprehend what was really going on. Even without the power of empathy, Jazz’s own happiness was radiating in waves towards me, fueling my own jovial attitude. Everything seemed to be exuding positivity.

Still keeping my eyes covered, Jasper somehow managed to get me out of the car. And, being the crazy man that he was, he had to carry me. Which was nice, being held in Jasper’s arms, but still…My curiosity was eating at me. Jasper couldn’t stop grinning either, of course.

We came to a stop after walking upstairs, and then Jazz had opened a door and had walked forward again, then stopped for a second time. For a moment or two, all I could hear was our breathing and the gentle sound of the waves from the Carolina coast.

“Open your eyes, Alice.” Jasper’s hand lifted from my face, and I took in the scene around me with astounded clarity. Gracefully, I jumped down from Jasper’s arms and blinked as every little thing in the room was taken in by me. The soft, billowy fabric around the canopy bed…the candles…everything.

“Jazz…it’s perfect. I don’t know how you did this, but I love it.” I turned around to look at my husband, my husband, and smiled at him. Jasper walked forward and kneeled down in front of me and smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and his arms snaked around my waist. His smile this time was a lot more peaceful, a lot more content. It was the same smile that I had seen as I had walked down the aisle.

“I love you, Alice.” Jazz kissed me then, and I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck. Reluctantly almost, I broke the kiss, my eyes still closed from the first kiss.

“I love you too, Jazz.”

Sighing, I pulled my arms even closer to Jasper. I had missed him so much during the time that I had been gone. Just the fact of being separated from him and the rest of the family was enough to drive me insane, forgetting the part where I had royally screwed myself up by thinking that Caius wouldn’t dare to go as far as he’d gone. But, the moment had to be ruined by a vision.

A few moments later, I was confused, surprised, flattered, and worried – plus the security that I was feeling with Jazz – all at once. What was up with Near? Why was he here? Okay, so I knew that reason, but he was seriously risking his neck to make sure I was safe? Unlike my anger and fear towards…her…checking up on me, I was feeling flattered and glad that Near had come. It would be nice to at least show my family that I wasn’t completely alone. Though, Near wasn’t as strong as he had wanted to be, considering how I had still been broken by the Volturi guard…And my family had thought that I was strong…

What was even more surprising was that I was hearing Near’s voice only moments later. My heart and mind was fighting to go see Near, or stay in the temporary security that was Jasper holding me so close at that moment in time. The moment was already ruined somewhat by the vision – a fact that I wasn’t going to tell Near later; it’d break the poor kid’s heart – but, I loved just being with Jasper. I didn’t feel really like the old me, but I felt free, at least. But, Near’s outward appearance and personality was probably going to put my family on the defensive side…And Near getting attacked was something that I definitely wanted to avoid. Especially after all he had done for me in Volterra. Just the littlest things would help me so much… A small memory from when it was Nessie’s birthday passed through my head as a perfect example.

I looked out the window of my room in the “great” Volterra castle. Why did Aro even give all the guard members rooms, anyways? It was confusing to me, but truly, I could care less. My mood was dark and gloomy, but not thanks to the bastards I was being forced to living among – though, the choice to abide by their rules was something that I chose, and did not regret. No, my melancholy emotions were all a part of what the date was. It was September 10th, 2013, and Nessie’s seventh birthday. She would be fully grown by now, or at least close to it. My heart ached to see my little niece and the rest of my family…I hoped that they had some sort of celebration without me. Even if it was just Bella, Edward, Jake, and Renesmee herself, Nessie needed some sort of normalcy in that crazy house.

“Hey, Little Alice.” I looked around and smiled at Neroli as he ducked into my room. He was wearing the traditional Volturi garb now, except the cloak. Mine was currently feeding the fire in my room.

“Near. What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be hiding your comics from Afton and Felix or something?” I winked at my friend and he just rolled his eyes. While he would throw a punch at anyone else that would tease him about his love of human Anime and Manga, Near put up with my light jabs towards it. I really didn’t care, anyways, about Near’s fascination with them. We were both eccentric, and needed to stick together in this hell-hole.

“They’re currently outside of the gates for some reason. I think they’ll be safe for a bit of time. And besides, I do not have comics. The characters do not wear tights and capes like the people here.” I laughed at his jab towards his own job; Neroli definitely was brave to do that. Near scratched the back of his neck, and then looked towards me. “Anything wrong?” I sighed and contemplated lying to Near, though he was my only friend in this place and lying to him wasn’t going to be really smart if Aro decided to really reign down hell on me.

“The date is a sad one for me. It’s my niece, Renesmee’s, seventh birthday and she’s supposed to stop growing soon, and I’m kind of feeling sad about the fact that I’m not with her and the rest of my family now.” I shrugged and crossed my arms as Near leaned against the wall.

“Tell me about her. Y’know, Renesmee.” I sighed, but then smiled.

“I only knew her for a month and a half or so, but she’s the cutest little thing ever. Even at her young age, she was so much like both of her parents. I remember teasing Emmett, and pretending to wrestle with him. It was the funniest thing to her until her mom, Bella, woke up from the change. Bella, Edward, and Jake were the world to her, including the rest of the family.” I looked up towards Near, and we shared a smile.

“Keep going.” I rolled my eyes. He was distracting me by getting me to think about Nessie and the rest of the family. I knew the trick; I used to use it with Jasper a lot when Maria would show back up, or he’d slip and drink from a human, or anything else that would get him down.

“You’re using my tricks.” Near laughed.

“You have the best ones.” I smiled at this. Yes, Near was definitely going to be vital for me to keep my sanity while I was here.

My heart breaking somewhat for a completely different reason, I pulled away from Jasper, but kept one arm around Jasper’s waist. Smiling again, just barely at him, I mouthed an “I’m sorry” towards him, hoping my emotions were going to tell him enough that I wanted to come back to that moment later. I walked out of my room and looked towards Near and immediately rolled my eyes. As close as I was to Near, he just kind of made me do that.

“Neroli Raul Moretti.” I shook my head as I entered the room. “One: weren’t you taught introductory manners? Two: You are insane to come here without telling Aro. How in the hell did you get out of there, anyways, without anyone knowing?” I was chastising the idiot, of course, but I was still glad he was here...He definitely knew how to be normal.

“Who is he, Alice?” I looked at Esme, and then bit my lip.

“Esme, Jazz, Rose, Carlisle, Edward, meet Near. I was pretty alone in Volterra,” I cringed somewhat as I said the name of my prison, though went on with my introduction of Near to my family, or at least most of it. “but he was a friend to me.” I looked at Esme, and then Rose, then to Jazz, and finally back to Near. I had walked into the house today, hoping for a peaceful day to be back with my family. Apparently, that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. And, I had the terrible feeling that even if Near was a friend to me, a few of my family members were still going to be a bit reluctant towards Near…

[ooc] edited slightly [/ooc]

[The Nymph Kamalia]

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Hatred. Rejection. The door slammed in my face. Those were the type of reactions I was expecting as I waited those few long seconds to see if my knock on the door would be answered. Surely between Alice's gift and Edward's they already knew who I was so why would they even waste their time or breath opening the door? The first second ticked by I began to really reconsider having even come here. Abrielle's scent was fresh in the area, meaning she hadn't left that long ago; probably had just arrived at the house I located her in when I came across it. With Abrielle having left so recently, even with good intentions, I would just be continuing to bother the family that had already been through enough. Besides, if Abrielle's gift was at work already there was nothing I could do at this point. I could nullify it at the time it was happening, but with one like Abrielle's it could continue past the time she was long gone and therefore the window to nullify it was small. Were it not for Abrielle's smug nature of making it seem like she had done something during her unwelcome visit I wouldn't have bothered showing up on the doorstep. It was for the mere fact that I wanted to make sure things were alright that I stayed, my mind ticking the seconds away in a manner that worked against me.

As I stood there, continually debating just turning around and leaving I couldn't stop the thoughts that fueled my hatred towards Abrielle. Even when we were both kids she was still just as manipulative and cruel. Sure, she had always acted like the princess, but that was all just part of her disguise. She used that princess appeal to her advantage and I hated watching it work those around her like they were all her own little puppets. Go figure she ended up with a power as a vampire to change people's minds and make them do what she wanted. It fit her sinister profile so perfectly that it made me want to spit to get rid of the bad taste in my mouth. Without be a Volturi member, Abrielle was enough all on her little own to cause anyone to feel hatred towards her and anyone related to her; I had enough proof personally. I didn't know why or how I expected the Cullens to think of me else wise. Even though I had done what was needed to keep Abrielle out of my life as much as possible, she still had the ability to ruin it without having to lift more than her pinkie finger.

"Ma la mamma, voglio quel vestito! (But mama, I want that dress!)" I rolled my eyes as Abrielle began her usual sketch. I was only five but wasn't oblivious to my sister's ways.

"Il tesoro, forse dell'altro tempo. Proprio ora dobbiamo tornare a casa realmente prima delle serie di sole. (Sweetie, maybe some other time. Right now we really need to get home before the sun sets.)" I sighed as I could see my mother's resolve weakening even as she stood there, trying to pull my sister away from the display of the freshly tailored dress outside the towns most prestigious and expensive tailor shop.

"Mamma! Il partito del sindaco è in due giorni e guarderei perfetto nel vestito. Per favore? (Mama! The mayor's party is in two days and I would look perfect in the dress. Please?)" There went what I called 'Abrielle eyes' as she smiled sweetly at my mother; it sickened me and I only felt the want to go home and be far enough away from Abrielle as possible. Normally I could persuade people against what Abrielle wanted, but our mother was a different story.

"Bene. Lasciamo la fretta giusta e ha su la misura di sarto lei per fare le riparazioni bisogno avuto di. (Alright. Let's just hurry up and have the tailor measure you to make the fixes needed.)" And there you had it, my mother was pudding in Abrielle's hands once she used the combination of the smile and look in her eyes. Abrielle was only six years old and I didn't look forward to seeing what it would be like when she was older.

I had been right back then, I didn't look forward to her getting older as that meant she was someone I hated even more. The memory itself wasn't anything grand, but it reminded me of just how long I had despised my sister and the fact that we were blood related. I wasn't given much more time to think, though, as the third second hit and the door opened. Now, I'm sure you remember the expectations I had and why that would leave me standing their in shock and confusion as Esme opened the door and introduced herself before I heard Alice from upstairs telling me to come in. Come on in. Those words echoed through me at first as I found I could do nothing more than stand there for a second. When Esme stepped aside to let me in I merely shrugged and entered, glancing around nervously. I still half expected to be attacked before being tossed back out and having the door slammed in my face. I doubted they truly hated Abrielle like I did, but I knew they had every reason to hate her and the Volturi and could only imagine what had possessed them to answer the door let alone let me in.




As I entered I glanced around, a little impressed with the house despite my nerves before I glanced at all the faces I could see, my eyes resting on a tall raven-haired woman, well tall due to the heels she wore. In my nerves I didn't realize I was using my powers until the raven-haired woman seemed to look at me in shock and confusion. "How are you nullifying my shield?" That made me snap out of my thoughts and nerves about wondering if I was being fooled and immediately stopped using my power. It was more her voice than what she said, though, that had snapped me out of my thoughts. I hadn't recognized her clearly at first, but I knew the voice was that of Isabella and I was surprised to see it was her. Last I had seen her was in the field and she had looked a little different then. I could only wonder despite what I knew how much the last century had changed the Cullen family. That could wait, though, seeing as I knew things about them yet I doubted they knew anything about me, well, outside Alice that was.

"Sorry, force of habit." I didn't know what else to say. I had never gone into a new environment totally unprepared and had used my power naturally as I did with any new one. The next thing I feared saying, but knew there was no avoiding it so I took a deep breath. "I have a lot to explain, but first I guess I should start with my name. I'm Raphael Antonio Giordano . . . " Alright, I lied, this next part was what I didn't want to say. "Abrielle's younger brother."

That was when I expected to be shown the door once more and, in the best case scenario, told to never come back. Well, until I heard a male's voice and glanced up to see whom I had come to know as Carlisle if I was getting the descriptions and remembering facts from the field correctly. "You're welcome here." Alright, no surprise that I wasn't expecting that. In the over four hundred years I had lived, I had never been told I was welcomed anywhere once people realized who I was related to. Yet here was the family, torn apart by the Volturi and further tormented after they sent Abrielle so soon of Alice coming back to them and I was being told I was welcomed. It surprised me into silence as the next few minutes went by. In fact, it wasn't until Edward appeared with a woman in his arms and the smell of blood reached my nose that I snapped out of the daze and thoughts and noticed the scene had changed drastically. Things happened rather fast and I ignored most of it, having no problem slipping into the background, until yet another vampire showed up. Boy, the Cullens were popular weren't they. I merely sighed and shook my head as he turned to me and mentioned Abrielle.

"I'm sure it will come as no surprise that the feeling is mutual between us." I didn't want to say anything more as I had not fed properly in a few days and the smell of fresh blood was starting to effect me. "Look, I'm sorry to have bothered you and your family, Alice. I merely wanted to check and make sure what my sister had implied when I caught up with her had not come to pass. If you will excuse me, though . . . not all of us have the restraint your family does." I said before turning on my heals and leaving as quick as a I could, not daring to breathe until I had gotten a good distance away.

The burning at the back of my throat was slowly consuming me and I knew if I didn't feed soon I might lose it. It looked like animal would have to suffice enough at the moment. I hated the weakness I had for human blood, but knew eventually I would give in. I just didn't want to give in when in such a state or I would end up killing more than one human. With that thought I began to hunt for an animal big enough to help dull the thirst. As if fate was against me, though, I came across a hiking couple and in my state I couldn't stop myself. I should have been able to, and wanted to, but couldn't. Their blood was so sweet and tempting and tasted wonderful as it slid down my throat and quenched the thirst. I didn't even register the female's screams before my feeding silenced her. I was too lost in the monster I was and it wasn't until they were both drained and my eyes were a bright red that I sat there, their bodies lying lifeless on the ground at my feet, and mourned for what I had done. It was cruel, sadistic, and evil and in many ways made me no better than the sister I hated so much. I had just never found the strength enough to truly try a live the other lifestyle; the vegetarian lifestyle. There had been many times when I had thought about pissing the Volturi off to end it all and be free, but I knew that was the cowardly way out of it. I had to live my cursed life and deal with it. As I sat there, though, staring at the skin of the humans, far more pale than it should be, I felt nothing but hatred for myself and being so weak. The eyes I knew had to be bright red from the fresh feeding felt like they burned in their sockets as a painful reminder; as if the bodies before me were not enough.

[XoX A Secret Dreamer XoX]

ＬＥＩＧＨＡＮＮＡXXXXX

﹙ ☆ ﹚

ＥＲＩＣＫＳＯＮXOXO

ｉｆ ｙｏｕ ＬＥＴ ｍｅ ｉ could
ｉ'ｄ ＳＨＯＷ ｙｏｕ ｈｏｗ ｔｏ build ｙｏｕｒ ｆｅｎｃｅｓ
ｓｅｔ restrictions , ｓｅｐｅｒａｔｅ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ＷＯＲＬＤ
ｔｈｅ ｃｏｎｓｔａｎｔＢＡＴＴＬＥ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ hate ｔｏ ｆｉｇｈｔ,
ｊｕｓｔ blame ｔｈｅ ＬＩＭＥＬＩＧＨＴ

The world was definitely a horrid place. Even more so in the little realm of Forks, Washington, currently and the place that I was also forced into living in; everything about Forks detested me so. There was the constant rain – even London rained less than it did here – and dreariness that bored me to death. And then the kids at the high school that made sure my entire life was under a microscope. Didn’t they understand that even though I was born in London, didn’t mean I was really that interesting? And to add to all of that, there was the fact that I was anorexic. Just barely, I winced as I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I stood up and looked at myself in my full-length mirror. There was the same old-same old. My light blue eyes, crazy blonde hair were there as always. My semi-pale skin, my pale pink lips also stayed the same. But, there were some differences that were slowly changing always and forever. Or at least until I could stop not eating all the time. Before I moved to this gloomy place and was living in London, I had curves and I was sexy. Now, I looked like some sickly kind of figure, all because I was immature and stopped eating in defiance of moving away from my England.

My precious, precious England.

Sighing softly, I ran a hand through my hair and went off to my bathroom. As much as I loved to plan and devise ways to get me back into London, there was no use moping around this early in the morning. I started the water for my shower and looked at the clock. It was about ten or so…There really wasn’t much for me to do today. There was my mom’s friend that I could visit at the hospital. Shrugging, I stripped of my pajamas and quickly went through my morning routine pretty quickly: taking a shower, washing my face, brushing my teeth, doing my hair, blah, blah, blah…It really just kind of went by in some sort of blur in a way. As much of my life did.

When I lived in London, there was so much life to everything. Pizzazz, sparkle, personality, unlike what Forks was. It screamed cliché everywhere I went. And call me snobby, but I was too much of a dreamer to be trapped in that place. Everything wanted to keep me down when I just wanted to go back to my own home. Here, I didn’t feel home. Maybe I just needed something to make me feel that way, but after over a year of having to live in this place, nothing was getting better, nothing was getting cooler, nothing was enticing me.

There were the Cullens, and when they showed up I had prayed that the limelight on me was going to turn to them. But, they were so dreary and depressing themselves that even their magnificent looks didn’t help a thing with my cause. I was something in London, but here, I was constantly under a microscope. It was the most annoying thing in the world. Also it was the same exact problem that was probably sucking the life out of me more than my own self-starvation.

But, the world around me, no matter how chaotic in my own mind sometimes, did make for some great muse when I couldn’t write a poem.

Ah, poetry, poetry, poetry. When I really, truly couldn’t do anything and things got to me farther than I could really stand, my verses and my stanzas were always there for me. They were really me more than I could really say. Besides my addiction to not eating, I could not live without my poems. Some people in the world wrote songs (which some of my poems turned into), or just cried, or ate chocolate, or some other stereotypical therapeutic device. But for me, there was poetry. It had been there through my first crush, to when I had my first boyfriend, my first breakup…When I was forced into leaving my trusted London…every time that I needed it, poetry was there for me.

Now, only if I could stop being so crazy and rely on something that was actually living and breathing.

I laughed at myself in the mirror after grabbing my coat and bag, then heading downstairs. My mom was making lunch. Apparently, I had slept through breakfast. One meal less that I didn’t have to hide from them. Out of everything that hurt the most about my anorexia, it was the fact that I hated hiding it all from my parents. Even though I hated leaving London, I had finally gotten over my aversion to my dad about his job relocating us. They really didn’t deserve going through what I was going through. They had raised me well, and were the greatest parents anyone could really ever ask for. They didn’t need to have a daughter that was starving herself out of some selfish need.

“Hey, mom.” My mom smiled at me, her long burgundy hair in a French braid. I kissed her on the cheek and half-hugged my dad who was sitting at the counter.

“Hey, sweetie. Where are you off to?” I shrugged.

“Alicia texted me earlier and wanted to meet her for lunch at the hospital.” My mom smiled, though my blue eyes in her face showed concern. Lovely.

“Mnkay, darling. Have a good time and tell her I said hello.” But, my mom wanted to give my freedom in the world. A freedom I didn’t really deserve.

“Will do.” I smiled and waved goodbye to my parents before walking out to the garage, and into my beautiful, beautiful car that my parents had bought me when I got my American license. Every time I got into it now, though, I felt horrible about everything that I was hiding from them.

The drive to the hospital also passed by in a strange kind of blur, one that I didn’t really understand. But, fifteen minutes later, it was about 12:30 in the afternoon, and I was walking into the front of the hospital. Immediately, I was greeted with the nurse’s station, to where I found Alicia immediately. I smiled at her, but it took her a few seconds for her to see me. Her face looked grief-stricken. What had happened?

“Hey, Alicia. What’s wrong? Anything happen?” It was a hospital, Alicia would be surrounded by death, but she was pretty good about just pushing that stuff aside.

“Oh, hey, Anna. Um, no one told you?” Things kind of got a bit scary then…What had really happened?

“No…Alicia, what are you talking about?” My friend sighed and ran a hand through her raven hair.

“The Cooper family, everyone but Lily died earlier this morning.” I blinked in surprise and tried to comprehend the situation. Besides my parents, the Cooper family was the only good thing here in Forks. I had baby-sat all five of the children soon after I had moved here, and even for the past year that I had lived here. They were all great kids, darling in fact.

“Their aunt and uncle? Grandparents?” Alicia shook her head.

“No, just the parents were in the car with them. There was a benefit in Olympia, and they had taken all five kids with them. The parents, Mason, Allison died on impact. Lucas and Justin died in the hospital. I know how close you were to them, Anna. I’m sorry.” Tears welled in my eyes and I tucked my bangs behind my ears. Wow. I looked through all of their faces in my head: Mason was the oldest at twelve and had brown curly hair and the most gorgeous green eyes ever. Then there was Lucas and Justin who were twins, and ten years old with brown hair, both having cropped cuts. I found some sort of relief that they had died together, as cruel as it had sounded. Allison was eight, and had the same hair as her eldest brother Mason, but instead the deepest brown eyes I had ever seen. Then there was little Lily, only five years old. She was the cutest little thing I had ever seen. While everyone else in their family looked like their father, or his sister, with the dark hair or eyes, but Lily looked exactly like her mother with honey blonde hair and the iciest blue eyes. She reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger and only a small child. Of course, she’d be the one to survive.

“Do you want to see her?” Alicia snapped me out of my thought process and I blinked and looked back to my friend.

“Um, no. I don’t want to intrude. Are her aunt and uncle here?” Alicia nodded.

“Good. If they come down, please tell them that I am so sorry about what happened.” Alicia smiled sweetly, yet sadly, at me and I smiled back.

“Of course, Anna.” Alicia was definitely a sweetheart. The world needed more people like her in the world.

“Thanks. If my parents call, could you tell them that I’m at the library?” Alicia looked confused at this, but she just nodded. We gave each other some short goodbyes before I walked back out of the hospital and into my car. The tears stayed at the edge of my eyes as I drove to anywhere but the library. Instead, I headed down to a small park. The snow had stopped falling, but I didn’t really care. Where I was going, there was no worry of snow for me. The drive there wasn’t very long at all, and I quickly parked and then got out, grabbing my purse and throwing it over my shoulder. It was cold, but I was practically immune to it. I weaved my way through the park fairly fast, the edges of my jeans becoming damp from the snow. But, then I found the trails. The tree cover was so dense there that barely any snow covered the ground. I sighed, my breath visible in the air. Finally, ten minutes later, I was in the place I wanted to be. A small boulder sat by a stream that flowed into a river about two miles from there, now to which was frozen, and I smiled, despite the fact that the tears had been falling down my face for a long time now. I sat down and slipped my poetry journal out of my bag and immediately began to write…

Allison…Greg…Lucas…Justin…Isabel…Mark…Lily…What was a family, was now only a single innocent child, lost in the world that was harsh and cruel to everyone. What could be explained any longer?

[ooc] Outfit [/ooc]

[wecanbreatheinspace]

Now you're my whole life
Now you're my whole world
I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl
Like a river meets the sea,
stronger than it's ever been.
We've come so far since that day
And I thought I loved you then

My eyes didn't leave the woman when Bella entered the room and moved to my side. Her familiar hand gripped mine and our fingers entwined. I allowed the relief Bella's presence brought to me wash over my body and calm me to my core. She asked what happened, though I knew she already had pieced together a good idea of how things had played out based on the clues present. "She and her son were attacked by a nomad." I turned my head to face her, shut my eyes and leaned down to press my forehead to hers. Being put in such situations always made me appreciate my family and the fact they were all safe and healthy. Then there was the fact that I hadn't seen anyone since the previous evening. I'd yet to receive a greeting due to the stressful circumstances surrounding the house. So this would have to suffice. Our time alone was short lived, however, as I could hear Carlisle excuse himself and his thoughts grow closer as he traveled down the hall toward us. Just before he entered I pressed my lips to Bella's in a quick, yet loving kiss. I truly could not survive without her love and support. She gave the term "other half" an entirely different meaning.

I lifted my head to see Carlisle walk across the room and kneel down beside the couch I had placed the woman on. He looked over all of her wounds before retrieving a medical kit from his desk and returning to her. He then spoke, requesting for Bella to bring her another outfit to wear. Which was easily understandable as the clothes she was wearing we considerably soaked in her own blood. It would be good for Bella to leave the room and cleanse her pallet, anyway. Although she would never verbally acknowledge the difficulty to me, I could tell she was tense from being exposed to such fresh and open wounds. I looked to her, my lips pulled tight in a soft smile that both thanked her and assured her I would be fine. Once again, no words were necessary. I moved in to peck her cheek lightly before letting her hand loose for her to do as Carlisle had asked.

When she left, I seated myself in a chair opposite the couch. Carlisle reminded me that the woman would have died if I hadn't been there to save her. Hearing someone actually acknowledge it out loud made me feel slightly better. He proceeded to ask what had happened. "When I arrived on the scene, she was on the ground convulsing with her son in her arms. She had been bitten by the unknown vampire. Jake chased him away and took care of him while Rosalie and I tended to her and the boy." I explained the smaller details that Carlisle wouldn't be able to deduct on his own. I listened as his thoughts headed towards needing the woman's medical records. Just then Bella re - entered the room with a fresh pair of clothing. Carlisle spoke his thoughts aloud, asking me to attain her information from the hospital for him. I nodded my head in acceptance and stood up to leave. But before I could, Bella interceded and declared she would go instead.

This confused, though I knew better than to question my wife's motives. I would ask her why later. I flashed to her side when she told me that she would be back shortly. "Okay." I responded, reaching up and caressing her cheek lovingly with my thumb. "I love you." These were words that I very rarely spoke. Only because such a notion went without saying. We both knew we loved each other very dearly. As a matter of fact, love would be an understatement when describing two people so eternally devoted to each other. But in that moment, I found the need to express my emotions for her. I can't say I was exactly sure why. Perhaps it was all the emotion so prevalent in the atmosphere of our home. No matter the reason, I watched Bella leave and heard her pull out of the driveway in a matter of minutes.

I could hear Alice in the hall speaking of the boy and his mother, followed by a sum of medical information no doubt directed at Carlisle. It seemed as if everyone was a step ahead of me. I knew Carlisle would have heard what Alice said. Though I had somehow managed to find the strength to halt my consumption of the woman's blood earlier, being in the same room as her was quickly becoming unbearable. Having tasted her blood to begin with only made resisting it afterward all the more difficult. The dry burning in my throat had ignited into a full on flame. With my hands in fists at my sides, I looked to Carlisle. "If you need anything else at all, please let me know." I subtly excused myself from the atmosphere contaminated with the scent of fresh blood and stepped into the hallway where I allowed the fresh air entering the house from the open front door to fill my lungs. With my eyes closed, I breathed a sigh of relief as the fire burning inside me was doused.

However, as I began to take in the scents around me, my eyes shot open. I gazed down the stairs to the door at the male who was standing there. What caught me so off guard was that he was not the same boy who had been there when I passed the door earlier. Confusion filled me as I eyed him, not helping but to find it rude that he'd invited himself into our home. He called out to Alice, which struck a sore nerve in me. He was obviously from Volterra. He had no place coming to Forks. I moved swiftly to Alice's side when she entered the room and placed a supportive hand a top her shoulder. Though my defensive aura virtually vanished when she spoke. I listened to her thoughts, realizing Near was not an enemy. At least, Alice didn't think so. I still didn't like him. Alice's thoughts practically broke my heart, which only further enraged me. Why couldn't she have what she wanted? For once, why couldn't the most selfless person I knew have what she deserved? If I had the power and means to do so, I would have marched straight to Volterra and given the Volturi a piece of my mind. But that still wouldn't change the obvious invasion of privacy that had already occurred.

My arm fell to my side, my vision still glued on Near. There was something about him I didn't want to trust. Perhaps it was just the fact he was a member of Aro's guard. Maybe it was the odd confidence he possessed. Or maybe it was just the fact his very presence was only contributing to the drama of today's events, which my entire family needed no more of. Surely we would reach a breaking point. I knew I had nearly reached mine for the day. Through it all, I couldn't fathom why Alice had been so reluctant to admit she had given in and consumed the blood of a human. Or why she'd been so embarrassed upon my finding out. Surely she knew me better than to think I would be upset or judge her for it. Of course, there was no doubt it was a bad thing and that it would make her life far more difficult. But she was hardly to blame for it. I knew she had been treated terribly in Volterra. If anything, seeing her how she was only made me feel all the worse for what I already felt guilty. There were too many emotions running through me at once, even for a vampire. Anger, rage, guilt, regret, sadness, anguish, love, sympathy... Everything was becoming far too difficult to process. I could be in the room no longer, or I would surely act in a manner in which I would regret.

"Pardon my rudeness." I said simply, and eyed everyone in the room before I gave a single nod and walked away, up the stairs and into my old bedroom where Bella and I were staying until we became situated enough to move into our cottage. Once in the room, I shut the door and fell back on the bed. There were so many issues plaguing my mind that it had become difficult to think straight. The biggest issue, at the moment, seemed to be the dying woman down the hall and her helpless son in Rosalie's arms. Next came Alice, and all the guests coming to visit her the day of her return. And then, thirdly, came the slightly less urgent issue of Renesmee and Jacob. And seeing as I would only become more stressed if I further contemplated Alice's situation or the woman Carlisle was tending to, I shifted my focus to Jacob and Renesmee.

In all the time Jacob had been a part of the family, I had grown close to him. Both as a father in law and a friend. It was clear when Bella had been pregnant that he loved her and wanted what was best for her just as I did, and we bonded through this. I considered him to be a good friend. But relationships were struggling ever since he and Renesmee had married. It always brought me great pain to see my daughter hurting, and she was definitely hurting. I knew Jacob would never cease loving her. He'd imprinted on her. He was hers for life. But that didn't mean their relationship would be all flowers and butterflies. Their wedding had brought great controversy to the family and put a heavy burden on Renesmee's back. One that Jacob didn't seem to understand or appreciate.

The worst part about the state of their relationship was my ability to hear thoughts. There were times that, while in my presence, Jacob would recall certain arguments or instances without meaning to. Certain instances that made it difficult for me to bite my lip. Especially when he would re-live making love to her. Well, if you could even call it that. As a father, I knew my daughter would have sex. The idea of such an occurrence was difficult enough to deal with. But with an ability to read minds and hear thoughts, it also meant that I would be forced to learn certain details that I never wanted to ever know. Especially details that brought me so much anger. I had confided in Bella with my knowledge, explaining to her that I just didn't understand. I supposed I was just a gentleman in that when Bella and I made love, it was always very passionate and romantic and never rough unless she requested otherwise. The arguments and violence, though rather victimless, between Renesmee and Jacob made me sick. Yet, I did not know how to help. No matter how badly I wanted to, it wasn't up to me to make it better. It was between them. They were adults. And they could figure things out on their own.

Though thinking of my daughter's marriage had done little to calm me, it had distracted me from the larger issues as hand long enough to regain my ability to think. Hopefully Bella wouldn't take much longer, and when she returned we could talk privately. I needed someone to discuss everything with and to help calm me.