>>Code Geass <<>>Roleplay<<>>PRIVATE!!<<

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch just continued to gaze at Suzaku. He seemed so lost in thought. Did he say something wrong? He pondered for a moment, going through every possibility for his friend's sadness and that's when it hit him. Suzaku didn't want to return to the past. It wasn't like they really could though. It was just wishful thinking. "Suzaku...if we could go back in time, I'd make sure none of this happened. Nunnally would be able to walk, my mother would be alive, and I'd kidnap you so you could live with me and Euphy..." He cut off his sentence a little too late realizing he said something he probably shouldn't have.

He sighed softly and just gave a soft smile. "That's alright. If you want to call me Lulu, go ahead. It sounded nice coming from you." He knew he was being overly nice, but right now he needed to make Suzaku forget about what happened in the dungeon. This was Suzaku he was against after all. Normal logic didn't work with him. Emotions seemed to get him to react the most. Suzaku was such a frustrating individual compared to other people.

He tensed slightly as he heard the other male call his name and move closer to him. He had the urge to just attempt to run off again or shove him away if he got to close, but that would just cause Suzaku to get more angry and he didn't need that. He was already hoping to get out of here without having to do anything he didn't consciously want to do. He was strong enough to resist his urges, so why couldn't Suzaku? They both could find some nice ladies or something in another country.

His idea was shattered as he felt Suzaku grab him. In that moment a sheer strike of pain shot through his entire body. He bit down on his bottom lip to suppress the cry of pain but it pretty much came out. "Damn it Suzaku! Are you trying to kill me?!" He lashed out for a moment as the pain subsided. As Suzaku's hand came up to his cheek, he just looked away from him. He didn't want to be this close to him. Not after what just happened. This teasing only started out as a way to woo Suzaku into giving in to his demands, but now...both their bodies were responding to it. What another foolish mistake he's made...

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

"Suzaku...if we could go back in time, I'd make sure none of this happened. Nunnally would be able to walk, my mother would be alive, and I'd kidnap you so you could live with me and Euphy..."

Suzaku’s eyes widened at the words, feeling at once his heart both swell and break a little. There was also a small bit of anger that came with Lelouch saying Euphemia’s name, but it wasn’t as severe as it had been before – now that he knew exactly what happened on that day.

He was right in his guess; Lelouch wanted to go back to a time where everything was peaceful in his life. It made Suzaku smile, hearing Lelouch say that he would want to bring him to live with them, so he could share in that happiness; it meant that Lelouch would have wanted him there by his side. He didn’t point out that if they did go back to that time, there was no way Lelouch could have done such a thing because, mainly, he wouldn’t have known who Suzaku was. As selfish as it sounded, the brunette was somewhat grateful for the tragedy that befell Lelouch; not because he wished the other pain, but because without those circumstances they never would have met. And no matter how strained the relationship was between them now, it didn’t change the fact that Lelouch had been his first and only true friend.

“If I didn’t kidnap you first,” he replied, a smile that was rare to find on his face as of late suddenly appearing. “You and Nunnally, and Euphy...” He echoed Lelouch’s sigh, closing his eyes momentarily and trying not to think about how nice that would have been; if the four of them really could have been happy.

He didn’t realize he’d done anything to harm Lelouch until he was yelled at, and even then Suzaku didn’t know what it was he’d done. It actually hadn’t been his intention to hurt Lelouch this time around, and so he was surprised by the outburst. “W-what?” he stammered, confused by the pained expression on the other’s face.

Quickly Suzaku released his hold on Lelouch’s arm, moving his hand instead to rest on a bony shoulder. An attempt at making eye contact proved futile, as Lelouch stubbornly kept his gaze focused elsewhere. Suzaku did not give in, though. Instead, he leaned in closer, giving in to his prior urge and bringing his lips to the thin cut on Lelouch’s cheek, tongue poking through and brushing over the wound.

“I’m sorry, Lulu,” he whispered as he moved his lips to cover Lelouch’s own in a brief kiss.

They always seemed to hurt one another, even when they weren’t trying to.

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch was still upset. Why should he have to look at Suzaku after he did that? His eyes turned to the side as he felt the male's tongue against his cheek. A shiver ran down his spine feeling the heat from the other male. He was just doing this on purpose now! He didn't want anything to do with him like that. It didn't stop there. Suzaku slyly moved his lips to kiss him. He really couldn't control himself could he? Lelouch didn't return the kiss at all. He was still upset at this moment.

~"I'm sorry, Lulu"~

His good arm came up to rest against Suzaku's chest as he gave him a soft shove. He only wanted to move him away enough to break the kiss. "It's your fault. If you would stop acting like this I wouldn't have had to run! I'm not an athletic person like you." He hoped that was enough information for Suzaku to realize what happened to him when he went to hide. It wasn't hard to figure out since he was hurt and cut on the same side. He gave a soft sigh as he turned his head up towards the sky and laid it back against the tree.

It was pointless to try and get away at this point. He slowly stood up as he looked at his friend. "Let's leave Britannia. I can't live here anymore and I trust my sister to make the country peaceful." He grabbed Suzaku's hand with his good arm and gave him a soft tug.

Surely Suzaku would want to get away. Mainly he wanted to Suzaku to erase what happened to them from his mind. From how Suzaku was acting it didn't seem like he was angry at Lelouch but he couldn't be too sure. What he did was unforgivable and he didn't want anything to remind him of it. That included getting close like that. He just needed to continue playing this nice guy for now while he calculated a plan. For the hundredth time today, he wished he could use Geass on the male again.

He focused back on the other male for now. "You'll have to help me though. I can't exactly move the greatest and we gotta be careful not to be seen." He truly did want to leave Britannia behind him. He was dead to them now so there was no reason for him to be here.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Suzaku hadn’t expected Lelouch to return the kiss, considering what he’d done to Suzaku in the dungeon before making his escape to the garden. He backed off when he felt Lelouch pressing against his chest, though didn’t release the hold he had on the other’s shoulder. Emerald eyes focused on the grass beneath their feet, a mixture of hurt and frustration on his face.

He didn’t understand why Lelouch kept pushing him away. Hadn’t he been the one to kiss Suzaku first? And now he was turning the situation around, making it seem as though this was Suzaku’s fault; Lelouch had a talent for doing that, and normally Suzaku fell victim to his twisting the situation. He couldn’t allow it to happen again. He’d been made a fool of enough times that day.

“I wouldn’t be acting like this if it wasn’t for you!” he replied, a glare returning to his face as he rose his gaze again, falling back on his anger, as that seemed to be the emotion that most quickly guided him to take action (though whether or not that action was smart or not wasn’t always so certain).

“Let’s leave Britannia. I can’t live here anymore...”

Suzaku’s fist clenched, lips stretching into an ugly sneer. Yes, that would be what Lelouch wanted. An escape. That’s all he was ever thinking about – how to get himself out of situations that didn’t benefit him, how to shirk his responsibility. It disgusted Suzaku.

And of course Lelouch would claim to need Suzaku’s help with it, because he just wouldn’t be Lelouch if he wasn’t manipulating him in some way. But Suzaku wasn’t going to fall victim to his normal pattern of behavior and come to Lelouch’s rescue. He had no problem with leaving Britannia – as far as he was concerned, there was nothing left for him there, except for the role of Zero, which he would work out even if he didn’t really want to keep it.

But first... first he would have Lelouch take responsibility for what he’d done not once, not twice, but three times in the dungeon to Suzaku. And if Lelouch did that, then Suzaku would see about helping him leave the country.

“You’re very used to getting what you want, aren’t you?” It was a question that didn’t need being answered. Suzaku twisted his hand out of Lelouch’s grasp, grabbing his upper arm (it was his uninjured arm, so he didn’t feel bad when his fingers dug lightly into the skin) and forcing him back against the tree he leaned against, trapping him there with his body. “That’s fine. I’ll give you what you want, buriki prince...”

Suzaku’s leg slid between Lelouch’s own, as if to prevent another incident such as what happened back inside.

“But not until you finished what you started.”

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch wasn't liking how this conversation had turned around. Maybe he shouldn't have even replied to the male. He wrapped his fingers around Suzaku's and gave them a tight squeeze and then relieving the pressure off. He wanted Suzaku to know he didn't mean it. That he really did want to leave Britannia with him so they could be out in the open like this anytime they want.

"You're very used to getting what you want, aren't you?"

He was completely shocked as Suzaku turned tactics on him. Without giving him any time to think, he was forced back against the tree he had just tried to leave from. Suzaku's face...he didn't like it. "I liked it much better when you smiled." He hissed out as he looked away from the other male. What else could he say to him? They were getting along so well and then Suzaku threw another one of these loops into his plans. Damn Suzaku...didn't he understand anything?

He struggled slightly knowing not to try too hard so he didn't injure himself anymore. Not to mention it was Suzaku who had him fixed against the tree. He knew better than to try to out might him. His eye gave a slight twitch at the terminology Suzaku used towards him. That was going a bit too far!

"But not until you finished what you started."

He was about to reliliated until he felt Suzaku's leg between his own. That probably wasn't a good thing to do right now. He just had to think logically through this. Suzaku was getting way out of hand at this point. "I'm not finishing anything. You seem quite capable of finishing whatever you want by yourself." He wasn't going to give in to Suzaku's requests. Once he did that, the Eleven would think he can do anything to him. It was Suzaku's fault to begin with. If he would of just killed him like planned, none of this would be going on right now.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

“I liked it much better when you smiled.”

The comment only made Suzaku frown, not because of negative feelings towards Lelouch, but towards himself – at first, at least. Glares and other such sour expressions weren’t befitting of Suzaku, and before the appearance of Zero and the Black Knights it was rare to see him ever wearing such an expression. But over the past year a permanent scowl seemed to have been etched on his face. Too much had happened, and he just couldn’t bring himself to smile like he used to, especially after he lost Euphy. There were instances he smiled, sure – like when he was around Gino, or the student council members – but they weren’t sincere; they couldn’t be.

...But again, this brought him back to Zero. If Zero hadn’t existed – if Lelouch never created him – Suzaku wouldn’t have to look this way. Suzaku wouldn’t be so angry, so hurt, so disgusted with himself and his best friend and the rest of the world. He... he wanted to smile again. People told him that he had a nice smile – Euphie had told him that, once, and for her more than anyone he wanted to smile. But with things like this...

He had to stop. Immediately. Suzaku was allowing himself to get lost in his own thoughts, and that was his mistake the last time he was in this predicament with Lelouch. If Lelouch knew that his words were getting to Suzaku, he would keep pushing, keep using that most dangerous weapon until he managed to turn the tables once more. Suzaku couldn’t let that happen again; he would not let him win this round.

“You seem quite capable of finishing whatever you want by yourself.”

Lelouch would never just give in; he was too stubborn for that. And Suzaku had his pride, too; he would never give up pursuing Lelouch now that he’d s started this chase with him. Until he had Lelouch completely, he wouldn’t stop. But he couldn’t just... take Lelouch against his will, could he? It would break Lelouch’s trust in him completely (not that Lelouch had much reason to trust him anymore, anyways) – not to mention it was just wrong and disgusting to ever do that to a person. Suzaku may be horrible on many levels, but... he wasn’t that much of a monster.

“Stop turning this around on me! You’re the one who started it – you kissed –” Suzaku cut off his sentence immediately, both because he realized he’d been raising his voice and didn’t want to attract attention to them and also because he didn’t want to sound like some love-struck child, taking about kissing. Sighing, he lowered his head, hiding his face in the elegant curve of Lelouch’s neck. “I want you, Lelouch...”

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch watched Suzaku carefully. His quietness and thought provoking face proved to him that he had at least gotten through to him on some level. If he had to guess, it would have to be about him smiling. He could expand on that idea even more. That Suzaku smiling reminded him of the fun times they used to have when they were younger. Suzaku was his friend after all. As much as Suzaku hated to admit it, this was still true and now they couldn't live without each other.

"Stop turning this around on me! You’re the one who started it – you kissed –”

Alright that was true. He had initiated the kiss, but that first kiss was only to distract Suzaku. It was never meant to be anything more. However, the second time he would take responsibility for that. He wanted to get back at Suzaku by any means necessary. He went to far with it and caused his plans to backfire. But the third time was Suzaku's fault! If he wasn't showing himself off while looking completely irresistible, then Lelouch wouldn't have felt the need to interfere.

Enough of the blaming game! It was both of their faults all this happened even if they didn't want to admit it. But with how Suzaku was acting, he didn't want to finish anything with him. At this moment he felt like Suzaku just wanted to use him for pleasure. He refused to be used. Besides, Suzaku could get any female he wanted as Zero, so why was he even bothering with Lelouch?

He had a disturbing thought. Did Suzaku want to be with him because he was related to Euphy? He wouldn't put it past him to want all this for a different reason like that. It was the only logical reason he could think of, but if that was true why didn't he just go after Nunnn....HE BETTER NOT! His sister would not be used as a replacement! He glared darkly at Suzaku just from thinking about this. He wanted to lash out so badly, but...

“I want you, Lelouch...”

His anger fell instantly. Felling Suzaku's head against his neck caused Lelouch to bring his hand up and rest on the other male's head, fingering softly through his hair. Suzaku has switched tactics on him. He knew this but he still fell for it. "Only if I get to be on top..." He said softly having a slight flush to his face. He said that without thinking about what it meant. He couldn't believe that he gave in that easily, but he had to know something else.

He grasped Suzaku's head between both of his hands as he turned both their heads to face each other. His eyes stared intensely at him trying to understand him. "Why...Why do you want me Suzaku? Why do you truly want this? Do you just need a release? Do you have a sick obsession with this bloodline that anyone will do? Or do you want it because you could possibly feel something for me?" He felt so odd asking questions like that, but there was enough of this beating around the bush. He wanted to know here and now before he bothered to commit to anything else.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Lelouch wasn’t pushing him away, which was a good sign. Suzaku almost smiled, but then he reminded himself that Lelouch always thought out his words before saying them; he could be planning out his next verbal attack, so Suzaku shouldn’t think he’d convinced him just yet – that would lead to his letting his guard down, which as he learned from his previous encounters with Lelouch was never a good idea.

His breath hitched in his throat as he felt gentle fingers sifting through his hair. A hybrid of a sigh and a whimper escaped him as Suzaku pressed himself closer to Lelouch, his hands trailing down Lelouch’s sides to rest lightly on his hips. Was Lelouch... was he giving his consent? Would he really...

“Only if I get to be on top...”

Suzaku’s eyes widened, a blush appearing on his own face at Lelouch’s answer. It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise; Lelouch wasn’t the type of person to submit to anyone, after all, and between the two of them he had always been the one who strived to assert himself. As children, they had constantly been at odds with one another, each trying to prove their dominance, and while to Suzaku it was all fun and games, Lelouch could never bear to be the loser. As a child, Suzaku never would have given into him; but he was far different from the person he had been, and at this moment Suzaku didn’t think he would mind handing control over to Lelouch. If he was actually going to agree to this – if this wasn’t just another trick – Suzaku would allow him that.

He was just about to respond – to tell Lelouch that he was fine with that condition – when he felt those familiar hands on his face. Suzaku blinked, immediately locking eyes with Lelouch and getting lost within those pools of amethyst. They were fake, illusions created by the colored contacts, but still... Suzaku liked to pretend that the Geass didn’t burn underneath them.

Why did he want this? Why, indeed...

The first response that came to his head was the one he’d told Lelouch several times already: he wanted Lelouch to finish what he started; he couldn’t just get away with doing whatever he pleased, every action had a consequence and Lelouch desperately needed to learn that lesson. But still, that didn’t seem like enough of a reason; not by a long shot. Looking at it from a different perspective than his own, he seemed obsessed with having Lelouch...

No, it wasn’t just about getting release. If that was the case, Suzaku could have found anyone to take care of this problem for him. Zero was an icon; many women and men would be more than happy to relieve him, he wouldn’t even have to ask more than once. And if he was desperate Suzaku could just jerk himself off, as he’d started too before Lelouch interrupted him for the third time.

“Do you have a sick obsession with this bloodline that anyone will do?”

Suzaku made a face, aghast by the very suggestion. How could Lelouch even think that? Yes, he had been involved in a relationship with Euphemia... and he did have strange, more-than-friendly feelings when it came to Lelouch himself... but it wasn’t like he developed feelings for every member of the royal family! He thought of Nunnally as a little sister, and although he was handsome Schneizel creeped him out a bit (especially now that he’d been Geassed into being Zero’s slave, even going as far as saying “yes master” to him).

...This left the only option being that he felt something for Lelouch. He did care about Lelouch, even after everything; Suzaku couldn’t lie to himself and say that he didn’t. Even if there were times when he felt as though he couldn’t hate anyone more, in the end... he really did care, which is why he always felt so guilty after hurting him. But were those romantic feelings? He’d never considered Lelouch as anything but a friend until Lelouch kissed him. And that kiss... Suzaku had been shocked at first, but he’d responded to it as if it was natural to do so, and he even remembered it feeling different – better – than the other kisses he’d given and received in the past.

Embarrassed, Suzaku lowered his gaze to the ground. “Maybe,” he said quietly. His feelings for Lelouch had always been complicated, and now that Lelouch wanted (needed) to know them, Suzaku couldn’t think of how to describe him. “Maybe I love you.” It sounded completely cheesy and Suzaku was horrified with himself for even saying it aloud, but... Lelouch wanted an answer, so there it was, even if it was an uncertain one.

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch kept a close eye on Suzaku to watch his movements. Even if he had calmed him down once again, he still couldn't be trusted. He was feeling better now given the time of rest and relief, but with his friend being this close to him, it was still difficult to do anything about it. Just touching Suzaku seemed to set him off into a wave of pleasure or pain. He had trouble distinguishing from the sounds Suzaku was making.

After that, all went quiet. His eyes stayed focused on the other male for now. He could see the male going back and forth from all the ideas he had just planted into his head. It was amusing to watch, but his face stayed serious. If Suzaku really wanted him to finish what he started, then he would of forced him to by now. So he suspected it was more than that...so Suzaku what will it be?

Lelouch found all this highly amusing. Suzaku had to have forgotten that he was looking straight at his friend. The faces he was making were so adorable. It almost made him lose his composure. He looked almost disgusted yet confused. The only thing he could think of that would Suzaku a reaction like that had to be the bloodline questions. If that was true, then his friend really didn't care if he had royal blood running through his veins? This was getting harder for him as the seconds went by. He was always so analytical and had to over analysis everything.

"Maybe I love you."

Lelouch's eyes widened as he blinked many times. Did that just come out of Suzaku's mouth? He felt an overwhelming urge as he suddenly tilted the male's head up towards him again and pressed his lips against his. It had been so long since he heard those words spoken at all that he became overwhelmed. He pulled away, just enough to give him room to speak. "Is this true...do you really...?" He said as he looked deeply into his eyes.

He sighed softly as he looked away and brought his hand up to his face. In one quick motion, he had removed both contacts and looked back at the other male for a moment. "Even with Geass like this...can you truly say..." He was so twisted with his words by this point. Suzaku had done something he never expected. Half of him wanted to believe him and the other half didn't believe him at all. That Suzaku truly hated him.

Carefully he placed the contacts back in his eyes as looked back at Suzaku as he slowly leaned forward with enough force to push his friend onto the ground with himself on top. He couldn't deny that he was worked up now as well. Damn Suzaku got to him...and if everything he said was true...then he'd be happy being with the other male.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

That was stupid. He shouldn’t have said anything... Lelouch must think he’s crazy. Suzaku himself was starting to think he was crazy. How could he be wishing to physically harm someone one minute and then proclaiming (or even speculating that he might love that same person the next?) Normal people just didn’t have weird, messed-up feelings like that – especially for their best friends! He was going insane, and now Lelouch was looking at him with impossibly wide eyes and Suzaku’s stop churned. He knew it! He’d ruined everything – again – and, ugh, he should have just stuck with his initial plan after changing Zero Requiem and been completely ruthless to Lelouch from the start, because now —

Suzaku’s thought process slowed down as Lelouch tilted his head upwards slightly, and shut down completely when his lips were covered in a kiss that wasn’t rough or even that passionate, but so needy that it made Suzaku’s heart ache. That same urgent need was present as Suzaku pressed back against Lelouch’s mouth, a soft noise escaping him when the other pulled away seconds later.

“Is this true... do you really...?”

Suzaku glanced to the side. Did he really? Suzaku didn’t think the words would have been so easy to say if they hadn’t been the slightest bit true. But still... did he really feel that way for Lelouch?

He’d always loved him. As a child, he’d loved Lelouch as a brother. Six years later, after they reunited, he’d viewed him as an inseparable friend, someone whom he could not live without, someone who made him feel incomplete when not by his side; he’d wanted to always be with Lelouch, always please him, make him happy, make him proud, keep hi m safe.

But that... that was a very different sort of love than... this. What he’d just admitted to.

Or... maybe it had always been there? Maybe, subconsciously, he’d always loved Lelouch in this way, but he’d simply never realized it until now? As a child, he would have never understood those feelings; he would have never thought of anyone in a romantic sense, that was just gross in his ten-year-old mind. And soon after reuniting with Lelouch, he’d met Euphemia; she was his only romantic interest at the time, he never would have realized his feelings for Lelouch when he was together with her – but there were so many times when he was with her that he found himself thinking of how similar the two were.

And after he’d learned that Lelouch was Zero... Suzaku had willed himself to destroy any feelings he might have for Lelouch, except for his intense loathing.

(Even then, however... even when he hated him, he’d still cared about him. Enough to want his memories erased by the Emperor; because he’d hoped at that time, that if Lelouch forgot he was Zero for good, he could go back to being his innocent self, and Suzaku could be with him again, could care about him again without feeling as though he shouldn’t.)

Suzaku met Lelouch’s eyes again, only to discover that the contacts were gone, the Geass symbols shining brightly in the bleached irises. He swallowed hard and averted his gaze to the floor. Geass... his feelings about Lelouch’s Geass (or any Geass) would never change. It was evil; it had no purpose but to hurt people.

“Lelouch,” he said slowly, brows knitting together, “I hate that power. I hate all the pain it’s caused... I hate that it was used on me, to make me live when I wanted to die.” He sighed, bringing a hand up to Lelouch’s neck, feeling the skin, forcing himself to look into Lelouch’s eyes and not hate them even though they weren’t the eyes he loved, the eyes he remembered. “But we’re the same.”

Neither of them were good people, though they spent a majority of the past few years trying to pretend they were – at least, Suzaku had. He’d wanted so badly to be that pure-hearted white knight, but no matter how much he wanted it, that wasn’t him. And Lelouch made him face that reality, and made him realize that… maybe it was ok.

So he did hate the Geass. And he did hate Zero. And he would always hate them.

But... he couldn’t bring himself to fully hate Lelouch anymore.

Suzaku grunted as he his back connected none-to-gently with the grass underfoot, Lelouch’s weight landing uncomfortably on top of him. He frowned and glared up at Lelouch, about to yell, what was that for?! – but the words died in his throat as he noticed the expression on the other male’s face.

“L-Lelouch...” The hand that had been loosely against Lelouch's neck wrapped around his shoulder tightly, drawing him closer so he could kiss him.

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch knew Suzaku hated geass and everything about it. But it was geass that gave him a chance to change Britannia. Sure Geass had brought about bad things, but it also brought good things as well. It was because of CC and the military that they were reunited in the first place, it was geass that allowed for a brighter future for everyone else. However, if Suzaku couldn't accept this part of himself then there was no way anything would work between them. He had to know that.

He listened carefully to Suzaku's words. They didn't surprise him at all. "I never wanted you to do die though. Suzaku, I tried so hard to get you to join me so we wouldn't have to fight on opposite sides. Even when everyone wanted to assissinate you, I went against it. I wanted you to live..." He let his voice trail off as he rested his head against Suzaku. It was so difficult to explain everything so the male would understand, but since he's calmed down, he might be able to finally get everything through. "I didn't want to use geass on you. It would of been so much easier to just command you to join the Black Knights, but I didn't. Only when you forced me in a corner with no other options did I do the unthinkable. Even then...that geass is different."

"But we're the same."

His eyes focused back on Suzaku as he felt his arm over his shoulders. He felt himself losing control as he was pulled into a kiss. His eyes slid shut once they connected. Right now, after all the stress that had happened he needed this. "S-Suzaku..." He breathed out to mimic the male's earlier call.

To him, it seemed like the tables had been turned. Now he was the lustful one and Suzaku was the one on the recieving end. One hand rested on Suzaku's side as the other buried in his brown locks gripping at his hair a bit tightly. His eyes opened slightly to look at the male under him. This is what Suzaku wanted right? He bit softly at the male's lower lip, giving a slight whine. He wanted Suzaku to get involved too, before he messed with the male any farther.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

It was useless for either of them to try to express the reasoning behind all of their actions. Each time, the conversation went the same. Lelouch would state how he’d just wanted Suzaku to join his cause, and Suzaku would counter with how he could never have done such a thing when he didn’t agree with Zero’s methods. It was pointless to argue about it now, not when it was all in the past; it wouldn’t change anything. They couldn’t go back in time and correct the mistakes they’d made.

“I wanted you to live...”

Suzaku met Lelouch’s gaze, a tinge of despair present in green irises. But I didn’t want that... I didn’t want to live, Lelouch. Ever since he’d killed his father he’d been wishing for death, searching for it, throwing himself into dangerous situations in the chance that he might finally meet with it. But Lelouch had cursed him, so that he could not longer put himself in situations; if he was ever in danger, he could find his way out of it – he could save himself.

Lelouch had had no right to do such a thing, to deny Suzaku the death he yearned for, but at the same time Suzaku could no longer view Lelouch’s decision to cast the survive Geass on him as purely selfish. If he’d been acting solely for his own benefit, Lelouch could have just commanded Suzaku to obey him, and Suzaku would have had no other choice. But Lelouch hadn’t done that. Lelouch ordered him to live, to survive, because he’d cared about him.

Suzaku didn’t say anything. There would be plenty of time for talking later, but right now he just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having Lelouch so close to him, without any hostility between them. In that instant, as Suzaku heard Lelouch murmur his name quietly against his lips, the brunette felt as though he had that cherished friend from what felt like eons ago back in his arms – that friend that he cared for more than anyone, that he would do anything, sacrifice anything for.


As a hand slid back into his hair, fisting the brown locks a bit more tightly than necessary, Suzaku groaned softly and arched his neck very slightly, that familiar sting of pain sending a bolt of pleasure straight down to his groin. Some things never changed...

Lelouch bit against his lower lip, emitting a delicious sound that Suzaku found himself echoing softly as he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, his tongue inviting Lelouch’s into his mouth as his free hand gripped the back of the white Knight’s jacket the other male wore, tugging on it almost insistently.

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch slowly wandered back to reasonable thought. Did Suzaku finally understand that he never wanted to hurt him? Just thinking about his friend accepting that made him smile. He knew Suzaku wasn't satisfied with this playful kissing and touching, but he wanted to work him back up, and possibly tease him a little bit too. The male seemed to like pain to a degree and he planned on using that to his advantage.

He pulled back for a moment as he kissed down the male's neck, and sucked lightly and roughly on the sensitive skin. He was going to claim Suzaku's body and mind for his own, starting with these noticeable marks. Trailing his tongue up his neck to one of his ears. "Suzaku..." He whispered out softly. "...if you really hate the geass I gave to you, it can be removed." He thought that might ease his friend's mind a bit more. However, that meant that he could use geass on him again in the future. He could think of many commands he'd love to give to the male, but he truly believed the "live" geass was best for him.

Before he could get more involved with Suzaku, he found himself suddenly yanked away by the collar of his cape. "What the--" was all that came out as a hand fisted his hair and shoved his face into the ground.

"Lelouch vi Britannia, you are under arrest and will be publicly executed." The guard lashed out obviously furious that the emperor was still alive somehow. He slapped cuffs around the male's wrists, making them way tighter than they needed to be. Followed by placing a dark black visor over Lelouch's eyes to prevent geass from being used.

His eyes gazed at Suzaku in the Zero outfit and then focused back on Lelouch as another Guard came out and held a gun up, threatening to shoot to keep Suzaku tame. However, it wasn't aimed at Suzaku. They had been keeping their eyes on the two males for a while since they entered the garden and found out quite a bit. "Try anything funny, and you'll cause your lover more pain."

Lelouch couldn't believe this was happening. The visor only gave enough ability to see silhouettes of the people around him. Why was this happening to them again? Just when everything was finally going right in their lives and everything was settled. "What crimes? As far as it concerns you, I'm still a member of the Britannia royal family. If anything you should listen to me." He scowled out not liking how this was going. His sister was going to be in danger at this point.

His thought process was once again interrupted as he was basically thrown against the tree, the same tree he was resting against earlier. "Faking a death is high treason." He growled out not bothering to explain any more to him. He knelled down in front of Lelouch and ripped the fabric of his shirt open to check for himself. There around his midsection was a larger bandage covering what he suspected to be the fatal wound he had received from Zero. This really was the ex-Emperor.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Always a tease, something about Lelouch that would never change – not that Suzaku minded at the moment. While it was mean of Lelouch to draw things out even further, Suzaku couldn’t complain now that Lelouch seemed to have the intention of following through this time around.

A low moan escaped the brunette as full lips trailed down and clamped around the skin of his neck, sucking hungrily at the skin. It would leave a mark, and Lelouch was probably well aware of that – that thought was probably his motivation. Suzaku shivered at the idea; marking, claiming, it seemed so primal a thing to do, but he couldn’t help but like the thought —Lelouch was claiming him.

“If you really hate the Geass I gave to you, it can be removed.”

Suzaku’s eyes slid open a fraction and he stared up at Lelouch. Yes, he knew of Jeremiah’s ability to remove Geass that had been cast on others. He’d known about it for a while. So Lelouch was right; if he wanted to, since he so viewed it as a curse, he could have Jeremiah permanently get rid of it. But, for whatever reason, he’d never thought to ask. Why? Perhaps because he’d been using the Geass to his advantage during his time as the Knight of Zero, because it was part of their plan. But now... before Zero Requiem, after the ‘death’ of Suzaku Kururugi, he could have had Jeremiah rid him of it.

Eyes slipping shut again, Suzaku murmured something unintelligible under his breath. It wasn’t too late now. Jeremiah knew that it was him under Zero’s mask, so it wouldn’t be strange for Suzaku to ask that of him.

All of the sudden, he felt Lelouch’s body lift off of him. For a split second, Suzaku rushed to the conclusion that Lelouch was going to leave him in an excited state for the fourth time. But the sight that greeted him as his eyes shot open made his blood boil far more than if that had been the case. A palace guard stood over Lelouch, whose face hand been shoved down onto the ground to keep him from seeing who his assaulters were.



“Lelouch vi Britannia, you are under arrest and will be publicly executed.”

In an instant Suzaku was on his feet, snarling, green eyes flashing. He took several paces towards the guard, arm raised threateningly. He didn’t have a weapon on him, but Suzaku didn’t doubt his physical ability; fists would be enough to take care of this.

“How dare—”

His voice cut off, Suzaku halting mid-stride as a second guard emerged from hiding, carrying a gun. Suzaku almost grinned. He’d just like to see them try to take him down with that. In the past he’d used Lelouch’s Geass to his advantage, as much as he hated it, and to protect Lelouch now he could use it again. If these men tried shooting him, the Geass would prevent him from getting hit in a critical area; he wouldn’t die. And even if he didn’t have that Geass placed on him, Suzaku was not afraid of death; the gun didn’t scare him like the guards presumed it might.

"Try anything funny, and you'll cause your lover more pain.”

Suzaku’s breath caught in his throat, a cold sense of dread washing over him as he realized that the gun wasn’t pointed at him at all, but rather the person several feet away from him. Suzaku’s fists clenched at his side, eyes narrowing as he contemplated a way out of this. He couldn’t move... If he even tried, they would shoot Lelouch.

“b*****d,” he hissed. The guard only smirked.

There had to be something he could do... If the guard came closer, maybe Suzaku could knock the gun out of his hands? He could run at an amazing speed – he’d kicked down a movement-sensitive machine gun back when he and Lelouch had been hunting for Mao – so there was a high chance he could manage that. But still... the possibility of the guard firing on Lelouch... Suzaku couldn’t take that chance.

“Let go of him!” Suzaku found himself hollering as Lelouch was shoved against the trunk of the same tree he’d been hiding from Suzaku behind. He made to rush forward but stopped himself as the guard suddenly pointed the gun and shot the ground by Lelouch's feet. A warning.

"The next one won't miss," the guard promised.

If only he could get them to release Lelouch... Perhaps an exchange? Suzaku was also a well-hated man, and he had also faked his death. If they took him instead of Lelouch... “I’m... I’m the criminal here. I’m Zero!”

Telling me to go
But hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
And I, I wont be the one
To leave this in pieces
And you, you will be alone
Alone with all your secrets
And regrets
Don’tlie.

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch knew this wasn't going to end well. Suzaku was way too impulsive to be tamed down by a simple threat. He knew his friend was thinking of every possible way to take out these guards and then gun without getting hurt. Correction, Suzaku wouldn't care if he was injured and the geass placed upon him would make sure he didn't die even if he did get hit. However, with the gun pointed at himself, that was a different story. He had never seen Suzaku so hesitant before. It made his heart long for him for a moment knowing that he wasn't rushing into action to prevent himself from being hurt. He knew it wouldn't last. Suzaku couldn't stay still for too long.

"Let go of him!"

"Stop that Suzaku." He was startled by the gun shot fired so close to him. Suzaku must of moved. He knew that male couldn't stay still for too long. He already knew that if they did shoot him, they would do it in the arms or the legs to keep him alive to show in front of the public. They were just aiming to cause as much pain as they could to him and Suzaku. Some Britannians never changed. He'd make sure these two were dealt with in due time.

The guard just smirked as he heard Suzaku's pleads. "You're mistaken. Zero is an icon here now. You can't possibly think that the public will reply positively to the execution of Zero. However, the former Emperor here, it's hard to believe he was still alive after all that. How will the public react? " His smirk turned into a sadistic smile seeing Suzaku's reaction to everything. He needed to be punished. In that instant, he placed his hand on Lelouch's midsection, letting himself find the right spot as he ripped the bandage and punched him none to lightly over his wound.

Lelouch let out a loud cry of pain. He instantly after that attempted to suck it up and not let the guards or Suzaku know how much pain that had really caused him. He was worried about the wound reopening on him the most, but since the skin was so tender there, any forceful touch would cause his pain receptors to react. "If you're going to kill me, then just get it over with. He hissed obviously not in a very good mood.

The guard just laughed as he kept his hand there, threatening to add unwanted force and pressure. "Suzaku Kururugi, Maybe we can make a deal. As Zero, you have power to give us what we want. Agree and make it worth more to us than exposing the Emperor, and you can have him."

So the guards were after personal gain. "Suzaku, don't even think about it. If these guys want something bigger than this, then Nunnally will be in danger." He whined out not wanting his sister to be put in harms way. This was really a lose-lose situation. Just when everything was going right between them too. He wondered just how long the guards were watching them to begin with. If he could just get his hands free, he could use Geass on them and kill them. They were filth left over from when his father was Emperor.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!