>>Code Geass <<>>Roleplay<<>>PRIVATE!!<<

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Just the sight of those eyes, bleached of their original amethyst color and turned ugly by the wretched power bestowed upon him, made Suzaku want to tie the blindfold back around Lelouch’s head – or, at the very least, slam Lelouch’s face to the ground so he wouldn’t have to look at him. There had once been a time when Suzaku contented himself with gazing into Lelouch’s eyes. Now, the mere thought of them – of what those eyes had seen, what they had done – made him feel sick.

Lelouch looked away on his own, and while that partially relieved Suzaku, it also sent another inexplicable wave of anger surging through him. The way Lelouch turned his face away... as if he couldn’t be bothered to look at Suzaku, as if he was too ashamed of Suzaku to spare him a second glance. Just another instance that showed just how much more superior to others Lelouch viewed himself, the b*****d. As if he could ever look down on another person, after everything he’d done – as if he had any right to judge Suzaku at all!

He hated the calm tone in which Lelouch spoke, absolutely hated it. How could he always act so indifferently? Why did nothing ever affect him? Was he that cold hearted, that frigid, that he didn’t even care about the position he was in? He seemed so unafraid... confused, but unconcerned about his fate.

“What do I want?”

A simple question with so many answers, Suzaku didn’t know which to begin with.

He wanted Lelouch to stop looking so apathetic.

He wanted to go back in time and stop himself from every agreeing to go along with Zero Requiem.

He wanted to go back in time and stop Zero when he had the chance, even if it meant killing his friend – because at least he could have stopped other tragedies, like Euphemia’s.

He wanted to know about Euphemia. Why Lelouch placed the Geass on her – or, if he really hadn’t meant to, if he really and honestly cared about her – why he never tried to stop her.

“The thing I want is the thing I can’t have,” he said, glaring hard at the floor, thinking of Euphemia, of the abrupt way she confessed her feelings to him, and the equally abrupt way he accepted them. He really had loved her. She was the only person in the world who ever viewed things the same as him, who saw the world not for what it was, but for what it could become. A kind, beautiful soul – one of thousands that had been blotted out by the disease to the world known as Lelouch.

“... I’ll settle for this instead. Lelouch.” Suzaku reached out, grasping Lelouch’s chin firmly and swallowing the bile in his throat as he forced himself to focus on Lelouch’s demon eyes while he delivered to the former emperor the sentence for his crimes. “You’re not going to die. For as long as I live, you will live. For as much as I have suffered, you will suffer.”

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

~“The thing I want is the thing I can’t have.”~

He finally realized what Suzaku was after. He was still hung up on Euphemia. He could really hold a grudge couldn't he? He didn't understand. He didn't know what happened that day! How could he think anything as cruel as this would bring Euphemia happiness. She was a loving, caring princess and sister in the end. He'd admit that he was his fault but he didn't deserve anything like this.

"Suzaku...wait! It wasn't...you don't understand! Stop acting like you're the only one who lost someone close to you! When even with geass, they still died and we were helpless to stop them!" He clenched his hands into fists just thinking about what Rolo had done to Shirely. Geass couldn't control everything, and he learned that the hard way. It was after her death that he started thinking differently and weighed back in his mind that placing the world's hatred on him would be a good idea.

He attempted to resist as Suzaku grasped his chin and forced him to look at his former friend. He seemed disgusted by him, that was to be expected. He had to stare at the same eyes that had ordered countless people's death. He had never had anyone stare straight at him so coldly. Suzaku already had a geass placed upon him, so he was immune to any other orders Lelouch would give.

~“You’re not going to die. For as long as I live, you will live. For as much as I have suffered, you will suffer.”~

Suzaku was going crazy! He had to have snapped. Suzaku...where was his friend Suzaku at and who was this psycho that they left him with? His eyes instantly narrowed at the emerald eyes in front of him. He knew his friend still had to be in there. That somewhere, his childhood friend didn't want to do this. Why would he sacrifice the world's happiness for his own "revenge?"

"Suzaku, you can't be serious. What are you going to do? Keep me locked up down here forever? What if someone discovers that I'm alive? What makes you think I'll even listen to you anyway?" He said in a more forceful, yet still composed tone. It was easy for him to think of several strategies at once, so if one didn't work, he could rebound with another. Suzaku was always just more physical than he was, that's all the boy had going for him. He'd get out of this mess, and snap his friend back into reality some how.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

He didn’t understand? Of course he understood! He understood perfectly. Lelouch was trying spin this around again so he looked like the saint, the martyr. Suzaku would not allow it. Not this time. Lelouch had a way with words, and Suzaku had already been talked out of his anger once by Lelouch – back when he met Lelouch in front of the Kururugi shrine, with demanding questions he never received completely truthful answers to. Lelouch won him over that time, and Suzaku agreed to join with him.

But it wouldn’t happen again. Now Suzaku knew the truth, and the truth was that Lelouch was a coward with a talent for manipulating people – with or without his Geass – which he made use of in order to escape the retributions of his selfish actions.

“I am, Lelouch! Between the two of us, I am! Because you’ve never cared about anyone, Lelouch – only yourself – and don’t try to pretend otherwise.”

The only exception to this was possibly Nunnally, but Suzaku didn’t even know if he believed that or not. Lelouch claimed that everything he did was so his little sister would be happy – but how could that be true, when he caused the poor girl so much pain? The only thing Nunnally ever wanted was a happy life with her brother – anyone could see that; she didn’t need anything except Lelouch. How could Lelouch ever have thought starting a rebellion against Britannia, turning the entire world against him, would please her? He made her hate him, and now made her suffer the fate of living in a world alone, without him. Either Lelouch was mad, or he really didn’t care at all; Suzaku saw it as a bit of both.


Lelouch was staring at him as if he was crazy. And maybe he was. Maybe they were both mad, and that was why they were in this mess together, at the end of it all; maybe that was why he just couldn’t let Lelouch go, couldn’t just kill him so easily.

“Yes,” Suzaku replied, matching Lelouch’s glare with one equally as fierce. “That’s exactly what I plan on doing. Hardly anyone uses this part of the dungeons . Nunnally will make sure of it, I’m certain. You should be happy at least that part of your plan went accordingly. With Nunnally as the new empress, there will be peace. And with peace, there’s no use for a torture chamber. So the only visitor you have to worry about is me.”

“What makes you think I’ll even listen to you anyway?”

Suzaku’s lips twisted into a smirk, an ugly expression that didn’t suit his boyish features, as he rubbed his thumb over Lelouch’s left eyelid. He honestly didn’t give a damn if Lelouch listened to him or not. Suzaku didn’t need him to listen. As long as he was there, chained to the wall like that, he couldn’t put up much of a fight anyways. Even if he tried to, Suzaku would overpower him easily.

“I don’t think you have much of a choice.”

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch was starting to think Suzaku had lost his mind completely. Where was all this coming from? It was like everything he said, Suzaku would twist it around. What had gotten into him in this short amount of time? It was starting to get annoying to the point where he wanted to smack Suzaku and snap him out of this, but that was probably a bad idea at the moment. Not to mention his arms weren't exactly free to be slapping people right now.

"That's not true! I did everything for Nunnally! I cared about my mother! And I cared about you! You think just because of this geass that I've turned into an evil person or something. You're wrong. Geass is the only thing that saved me that day. I swore to you I would obliterate Britannia one day. Or do you not remember that?" He said with a cold glare as he continued. "You're no different that I am. You killed your father because you felt it was the right thing to do. Was that not selfish on your part? Don't even try to pin all the blame on me because of your hardships! You're trying to use me as a medium to make yourself look like a hero or a knight when you're just as corrupt as I am. We're both tainted in blood that cannot be washed clean."

Maybe it was true that he had become a little more twisted as time went on, but that wasn't something he could help. His mother was assassinated while crippling his sister, he had to stay in hiding to prevent from being used as political tools, he was given a power that could allow him to try and make things better, a psycho went after his contract holder and tried to kill his girlfriend, his best friend turned out to be his worst enemy in battle, Nunnally was taken from him and was forced to live with a fake, assassin brother, Shiriley was killed in front of him, and everything was almost dead from there. From the moment he abandoned Britannia, he was dead inside. Geass was the only thing that sparked some sort of life in him.

He turned his head away for a moment as Suzaku spoke about his sister. It was true that Nunnally would never use a torture chamber. He couldn't even believe that she would push the button for a nuclear warhead. But what if Nunnally found out that Lelouch was still alive and being held captive down here. He couldn't bare to look at his sisters face after that.

His attention was brought back to Suzaku as he saw the smirk out of the corner of his eye. His head quickly jerked back at Suzaku's touch not wanting to feel anything from the male. He didn't trust him right now. Geass would be so convenient right now if it wasn't for that "only working once on a person thing." He'd make Suzaku listen to him!

~"I don't think you have much of a choice."~

The moment those words were said Lelouch couldn't stop himself. He reached out as far as he could, grasping Suzaku's shirt collar and sleeve. He then quickly pulled him back towards him and slid his leg under the males so he would fall back against the ground, giving him a push in that direction as he let go of Suzaku's clothing. He wasn't just going to be a "good" boy and take all of Suzaku's crap. If only he had at least one of the shackles free...

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

“Yes, you’ve done an excellent job showing how much you care for your sister,” he seethed, not even giving Lelouch the chance to explain himself. He refused to believe Geass had done anything but destroy Lelouch – destroy him even more than the murder of his mother, the betrayal of his father. It was true Lelouch had always been bitter, resentful to the country that turned its back on him, but he had still been good. Geass stripped him of that goodness, leaving a madman with a insatiable thirst for revenge in the place of a once caring boy Suzaku would have done anything for.

“I never wanted that!” he cried, unable to believe Lelouch was actually trying to convince him that part of what he’d done against Britannia was done for his sake. “You wanted revenge against Britannia. You were obsessed with it – you’re still obsessed with it. So obsessed you never stopped to think about the consequences of your actions! And when you finally realized them, you begged me to kill you not for some achievement of poetic justice, but because like a coward you didn’t want to take responsibility.”

He remembered the day; just before they parted ways for what they thought was for good, when Lelouch told him – promised him – that he would destroy Britannia. Suzaku had been shocked, maybe a little afraid of the proclamation. Because after what he had done...

Suzaku stopped that train of thought before it could progress any further. That part of his past was still something he tried not to touch on if he could avoid it; the wound was still too fresh, too painful, even after so long.

Lelouch, on the other hand, seemed perfectly happy with rehashing the secret Suzaku kept inside him – the secret he wasn’t supposed to even know about. No-one was. The former Knight of Zero stiffened up, emerald eyes becoming impossibly wide.

“I...”

All the things he wanted to say wouldn’t come out, as if the words were lodged in his throat – the only sound actually making it through being a pathetic whimper. The biting comments disappeared from the tip of his tongue, as the memory played out in his mind. He shut his eyes tightly and shook his head, not wanting to see it again – not again, not again, not again!

He hadn’t meant to kill him. But his father... his father had been planning something awful, and when Suzaku overheard he did the only thing he could think of – the easiest solution to a problem that was far too complicated for the mind of a ten-year-old. But he hadn’t meant it... he didn’t... he didn’t want to do something like that. Which was precisely why he joined the army – to make sure nothing like that would ever happen to anyone again, if he could prevent it.

“Shut up, just... you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Because he didn’t. He didn’t. This was completely different from the murders committed by Lelouch – those of which were all done in cold blood, unlike than Suzaku’s act of desperation.

Suzaku snapped out of his thoughts as a hand wrapped around the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward unexpectedly. All of the sudden the world turned on its side as he was thrown to the ground with as much force as Lelouch could muster with being chained to the wall. Suzaku’s head fell to the side, jaw connecting painfully with the floor, one of his canines sinking into his bottom lip as a result. A small trail of blood dribbled from the cut.

For several moments, he just lay there, trying to regain some semblance of equilibrium before slowly raising himself back up. With the back of his hand, Suzaku wiped away the blood, some of it smearing along his cheek.

With a speed amazing even himself, Suzaku’s fist connected to the side of Lelouch’s face in a punch that had enough force to knock the former emperor to the side.

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch listened to Suzaku try to defend himself again. That's all he was doing. He was trying to put all the blame onto himself, instead of taking responsibility for his actions. It was true. He did want revenge for what Britannia did to Nunnally, his mother, and himself, but he also wanted to make it a better world for those who couldn't fight on their own. He just didn't understand why Suzaku didn't see that. Anyone with brains could see that, or was Suzaku so wrapped up and whipped by the Princess that he couldn't think for himself anymore.

He watched in awe struck as Suzaku struggled to form coherent words. So his father's death still got to him eh? He supposed that was understandable. Even he had a hard time coping after he killed Clovis. Although, that didn't change the fact that Suzaku did kill his own father. He was no different than Lelouch, and he'd make him understand that. How many people has he killed since using the Lancelot? How many people were killed using F.L.E.I.J.A. that Britannia held? The same Britannia he was criticizing Lelouch for hating.

"Having troubles there, eh Suzaku?" He said with a slight smirk on his face, knowing it would probably tick his friend off. "I know full well what I'm talking about. Mao revealed it all to me, and you revealed the rest. You're lucky no one else found out about it. " If he pushed it on a little more, maybe he could make Suzaku break down. It was his only ace at the moment and he had to take it.

His eyes watched as his retaliation had actually worked. He was anything but strong, but anyone could take down someone if they caught them off guard. He moved forward slightly to see if Suzaku was ok; it was just a normal reaction for him since they've been friends for so long. He was about to say something, but saw his friend finally start to move and stand up. The next part was just too quick for him to see. In one moment, Suzaku was slowly getting up and in the next he was right in front of him. Suzaku's hand connected with his face, sending Lelouch backwards enough to smash his body against the wall. His body laid limp for a moment as he tried to adjust to the shock. The right side of his face hurt like hell. There had to be a huge red mark where Suzaku had hit. Other parts of his shoulder, hip, and arm almost went numb from the hit. Damn him. He wasn't going to let him get away with this just because he could move freely.

His eyes narrowed darkly at Suzaku. The geass symbols in his eyes were burning brightly. How he wished he could use his power of absolute obedience on him again. He was going to have to hurt his pride more. There were only two things that Suzaku seemed to keep hidden away and he was going to hit both those nerves. "What if Euphy saw you this way? Or what if she had found out about your little secret? I bet you wouldn't be a knight then, now would you? He winced slight as he tried to move to straighten himself up. Maybe if he was lucky, Suzaku would kill him now and he wouldn't have to go through this pain.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Suzaku held firm to the belief that Lelouch didn’t know what he was talking about. He may have been there when that psycho spilled Suzaku’s darkest secret, but Lelouch didn’t know what really happened, didn’t know the whole story. He hadn’t done it for himself, out of any desire for revenge. Not that that made it right – no, Suzaku knew he was a sinner, and he didn’t pretend to be otherwise. But at least he was repentant, which was more than he could say about Lelouch. That’s not to say he never thought about taking the easy way out. Countless times he acted recklessly, throwing himself into the line of fire in hopes of possibly not making it out alive. And after staining his hands with blood, he made a vow – a vow which he professed to Lelouch, he remembered – that he would never again use his own power for himself. Rather, he would live his life for others, and ensure no such tragedy happened again.

The sound of chains rattling as Lelouch’s body collided with the wall. Emerald eyes widened, Suzaku’s thoughts stilling for a brief moment, the boiling anger in his veins cooling slightly as he realized what he’d just done.

Damn it, he... he hadn’t meant to do that, either.

Quickly, Suzaku averted his gaze to the floor, unable to face his once-best friend. But he could feel Lelouch’s eyes boring into him, practically burning holes into his skin with the force of his glare. It made Suzaku wish for the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

He deserved it, he tried to convince himself. Lelouch deserved it for talking to him like that; he had no right to talk about Suzaku’s past – about things he knew absolutely nothing of. He had no right to preach, to place himself on a pedestal above Suzaku. Not when they were both one in the same, murderers.

“What if Euphy saw you this way...”

Lelouch indeed found the most painful chords to strike, and didn’t have to push them hard to elicit a violent reaction from Suzaku, not with the brunette already in such an emotionally imbalanced state.

“Don’t you even say her name!” he cried, lunging forward without a second thought, grabbing Lelouch by his bony shoulders and slamming him to the ground, not caring at this point how it would affect the wound on his torso. He hovered over the slighter male, eyes frantic, all but shaking in their sockets as that rage which had just begun to dissipate returned full force. “You have no right... after what you did to her!”

Euphy... she would be so ashamed of him. Of what he was doing to the brother that she, despite everything, loved so dearly. She knew of what he did to his father, yet she looked passed that, forgave him for it and loved him anyways. Lelouch didn’t know, of course – how could he? Suzaku never told anyone. But he told Euphemia. She was the only person from whom he could never hide anything. He told her when he tried to resign from his position as her personal knight, eager for some form of punishment, finally, after all those years of walking free. Instead...

“Please... don’t hate yourself!”

Tears stung at the corners of Suzaku’s eyes. Instead, she commanded him to love her, and promised that she would always love him in return, so long as he didn’t hate himself any longer.

Suzaku’s hands clenched and unclenched in the material covering Lelouch’s shoulders, and he was torn between wrapping them around Lelouch’s throat and keeping still.

“Euphy knew everything about me,” he hissed. “She loved me anyways. Unlike you... when everyone found out who you really were, what you really were, they despised you. They still despise you. It must kill you to know how completely and utterly alone you are – that even your own sister hates you.”

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch tilted his head slightly. He didn't understand Suzaku at all. How could he be so angry one moment and yet feel so guilty the next? "It's been a while since I've received a hit like that before." It seemed like to him that Suzaku still wasn't listening. He was just acting out of anger and spur of the moment actions. This was going to come back to bite him.

In that moment, he was almost instantly pinned to the floor by the other male. He winced louder this time, letting out a small gasp. Damn it! Was he really just trying to cause him all this uncomfortable pain? He took his a deep breath trying to sort out of his thoughts, all while staring straight at Suzaku. He wasn't going to look away unless needed. He needed to keep a firm hold on his situation, even if he couldn't do much at the moment.

~ “You have no right... after what you did to her!”~

So Suzaku really didn't know. He was going to have to open his eyes as to what happened that day wasn't he? Euphy was always the kindest out of all his other half-sibling. Nunnally was, of course, his first priority. "I-I didn't mean to.." He whispered out, biting his bottom lip for a moment searching for the words to say that wouldn't send Suzaku straight off the edge. "I met with her to form Special Administrative Zone of Japan and approve it. She knew I was Zero all along. I wanted to go back to the old days where Nunnally and I didn't have to go into hiding, but then..."

He sighed for a moment adverting his eyes completely away from Suzaku. "At this point, I had no idea that my geass couldn't be turned off. We were joking around and a command was issued. After that happened, she still resisted. I guess she was too kind-natured but in the end, she was overcome by the geass. I had no choice but to take action."

He knew Suzaku was probably furious at this point. It couldn't be helped though. He needed to hear what really happened so he knew it wasn't done out of malice. It was really just two siblings joking around and one got hurt. Of course it lead to her death, but that couldn't be stopped. Nothing could be stopped now.

Lelouch let out a soft laugh at first, but it slowly got louder for a few moments. Suzaku was completely right. So what if Euphy loved him? Shirley loved him but she was gone now. And yes, everyone despised him. That was his plan after all. By tainting his name, he'd save many from Britannia and even clear Euphy's name as the "Massacre Princess."

His eyes turned back to Suzaku, full of belief. He had a soft smile on his face and nodded his head once. He was completely composed. He knew that was his strong point and if he could keep it up like this, Suzaku would crack. "You're completely right. Everyone does despise me. That was the plan after all right? I know I'm alone in this world. I always have been. Even with Nunnally, I didn't want to drag her into anything, so I would distance myself from her and do everything to make her happy. She knows Suzaku. She knows why I did this and I know in her heart she could never hate me. I'm not alone now though. I have you..." He whispered softly as he reached a hand up to rest against Suzaku's head but came short.

His eyes turned away for a moment. "These chains are getting annoying. How about taking then off?" It was a straight up question and he knew the answer, but he wanted to see how much Suzaku wavered in his answer.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Suzaku didn’t know how Lelouch could appear so collected at all times – even when he was being held down like this, by the person who’d betrayed him countless times, and when he was near fatally injured on top of that. Things didn’t seem to affect the other male; it was as if he wasn’t human. Suzaku remembered getting so angry about the same thing when he was a young boy, when Lelouch never reacted to anything he said or did.

Just once Suzaku wanted to see Lelouch lose that control. Just once, he wanted to see the former emperor in a state of panic, of fear, of anything; because Suzaku couldn’t feel anything but overanxious in situations like this. He was impulsive and acted without thinking, and he didn’t understand Lelouch’s ability to rationalize and view situations with a level head. It frustrated him. He wanted to smash Lelouch’s face with his fist, just to see if the other would even feel it at all – if he would care, if he would even bleed.

(But Lelouch was human, and he bled just like the rest of them; Suzaku knew this firsthand.)

Suzaku didn’t want to give Lelouch the chance to explain himself. Lelouch could lie so easily, and Suzaku was gullible enough a majority of the time to believe anything he said. He couldn’t stand the thought of being manipulated again by the same person. But at the same time... he wanted to know what Lelouch would say regarding Euphemia’s death – wanted to know how Lelouch could ever justify the act in his mind.

“I-I didn’t mean to.”

It felt as though his own words were being repeated to him. Suzaku’s same exact sentiment on the death of his father. Emerald eyes shut tightly. This was not what he wanted to hear. He didn’t want it to have been an accident on Lelouch’s part; it made the situation far more complicated, it made it much more difficult to hate and blame Lelouch when he himself was just as culpable of such an accident.

“J-joking?” Suzaku’s voice shook a little. “Joking?” The whole thing was... a joke? Lelouch had been joking when he gave the command – when he told Euphemia to kill the Japanese?

What kind of sick person made jokes like that?

Suzaku didn’t know whether to be completely enraged by this, or feel nothing at all. By this point Lelouch’s view of human life was obvious. He shouldn’t be surprised that saying something like kill the Japanese would be some kind of joke in Lelouch’s twisted mind.

He tried to speak around the sob that threatened to escape his throat, his fingers still tightly clenched around Lelouch’s robes. Two tears out from the corners of his eyes, staining his cheeks before dripping down onto Lelouch’s chin. “You’re sick. You’re disgusting, Lelouch.”

He couldn’t be reacting like this, not in front of Lelouch. The worst thing to do was to show what Lelouch said affected him, but Suzaku wasn’t used to hiding his emotions, nor was he very skilled at it. He knew Lelouch could read him so easily, and he hated it. Hated that Lelouch could make him second-guess himself, his actions, his own beliefs – and more than that, he hated that Lelouch knew it, too.

“I have you...”

Seeing the hand reach in his direction, Suzaku flinched, reeling back but still maintaining his hold on the other male.

“D-don’t.” He sounded so weak. How could Lelouch do this to him, and so easily?

Eyes lowering to the chains still limiting Lelouch’s mobility, Suzaku felt his heart sink again. He really was a monster, wasn’t he? Chaining another human being up like this... What happened to not using his power for his own benefit?

No. No! Lelouch was manipulating him again. He knew this, he knew it – so why was he allowing himself to fall for the same tricks again?

“...I...You know I can’t,” he finally answered.

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch wasn't too surprised by Suzaku's response to what really happened with Euphy. It was all true though. He went to open his mouth to try and explain himself, but it wasn't worth it anymore. He really was just joking with Euphy. It was just too siblings having one of those moments. Why didn't Suzaku believe him. He told him everything.

His eyes widened for a moment as he felt something wet on his face. Suzaku...was he...was he crying? He tried to reach up again, to cup the male's face. That look didn't suit his friend. Suzaku, despite being a fool, was always strong around him and a worth foe in battle. He just didn't understand.

"Suzaku...it's true. It really was a joke. It wasn't out a malice. She was asking questions about my geass and I told her that I could command her to do anything and she'd have to listen. She was in disbelief and told me that could never happen. So I told her that it was true and that I could command her to kill all the Japanese as an extreme that she would understand. I never meant for it to actually happen. I never meant...to hurt you." He cried out. He couldn't bare to see his friend like this. He knew Suzaku was stronger than this.

He could see Suzaku's kind side shining through. He knew Suzaku couldn't be that heartless towards him. It was killing him inside. No matter how much hatred he had for Euphy's murderer, he should know now that Lelouch would never kill her out of malice. The others were different. Clovis already had his hands stained and his father just wasn't worth it anymore.

~"...I...You know I can't."~

Suzaku was wavering. He could easily get this to happen now. He just had to keep using his words, which were at least, half true. "Suzaku...please." He said in a soft voice as he looked straight at the other male. "...they're really starting to hurt." He used his hand to point as his wrist which was starting to bleed slightly from all the rubbing and jerking. It wasn't anything too serious but it would be enough to make Suzaku think about taking them off of him.

He let out a soft sigh as he reached for Suzaku again, failing of course. "I won't run away. There's no where for me to run, right?" He gave Suzaku a soft smile. It was perfect. Even if he got one shackle off, he could turn the tables on Suzaku. He'd get him back for that punch and keeping him alive just to cause pain to him. He'd show Suzaku the wrath of Lelouch vi Britannia!

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

It wasn’t that Suzaku didn’t believe him – because he did, he believed this sick version of the truth, that Lelouch was b*****d enough to make a joke like that and accidentally cast his Geass the unsuspecting Euphy while doing so – just as easily as the idea of Lelouch doing it all in cold blood. Either way, it didn’t make Lelouch seem any better a man in his eyes. Either way, Lelouch was still heartless, still selfish. This didn’t change anything. In fact, all it did was fuel Suzaku’s anger towards his once-friend.

Tears continued to trickle slowly from the corners of his eyes, but he no longer appeared devastated by the news. Emerald eyes were cold as the stones they so resembled, Suzaku’s lips curled in a sneer that suited him just as well as the tears probably did. At least this expression Lelouch was accustomed to seeing on him from their countless meetings on the battlefield.

“I never meant to hurt you.”

It amazed him that Lelouch had the audacity to even say such a thing. He couldn’t help but scoff. “We were enemies,” he reminded Lelouch, “I’m sure you didn’t care what you did to me.” His voice fell to a whisper. “You still don’t.”

Seeing Lelouch’s chafed wrists made Suzaku’s heart lurch, as did hearing the way Lelouch continued to plead for him to remove the shackles causing the injuries.

“Don’t,” he repeated, raising his voice this time around as Lelouch tried to reach for him only to fall short by not even a fraction of an inch.

He wouldn’t give in. Lelouch could beg him, but Suzaku had been trained to ignore the words of prisoners. This prisoner in particular was different than all others, of course – his voice one Suzaku could not block quite so effortlessly, if at all. Still, Suzaku was the authoritative power here; he had Lelouch in chains, not the other way around, and as long as he kept that in mind he wouldn’t fall under Lelouch’s spell.

Straightening his posture, Suzaku’s expression softened, lips frowning. “I told you not to move around so much. They’ll hurt less that way.” He took Lelouch’s hand gingerly, pushing the manacle up his wrist as far is it could go and rubbing the tender skin underneath, almost apologetically. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he used Lelouch’s words from moments ago, actually meaning them even if they did come out rather mockingly. Switching to the other hand, Suzaku repeated the same movements, trying to soothe the raw skin. “Please don’t make me have to resort to that.”

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch was having trouble controling himself. Suzaku went from a hurt, crying expression to a look of sheer enjoyment out of his pain. He hated that look. He'd punch the smirk right off his face if the chains weren't restricting him. He couldn't let Suzaku get to him. Not like this. As much as he wanted to reach up and strangle the male senseless, he wouldn't give into such temptation. He'd have to keep himself calm for now, until Suzaku finally gave into him.

“I’m sure you didn’t care what you did to me.”

He couldn't be serious! It's true, they were enemies but it was more than that. He took in a deep breath to control himself more. He wouldn't show Suzaku that he was losing control. Just as he hated Suzaku's intimidating stare, Suzaku had to hate Lelouch's composure to tough situations. Just what was his friend thinking? Did he want to send him off the edge?

"When I saw it was you controlling the white Knightmare, I couldn't issue an order. We retreated, or do you not remember that? How can you say that I don't care about you? I wanted you to be Nunnally's knight, but you ran off and sold yourself to the military. I wanted to keep you and Nunnally with me for a better Britannia, but then you sold me off to the Emperor! Being betrayed by my best friend and even after all that, I still consider you my friend. How can you say I don't care after all that?" It was Suzaku that didn't care. He was the one that forced Lelouch into everything. If it wasn't for the white knightmare frame, Lancelot, Lelouch wouldn't of needed to plan so much and so many people would of been saved.

"Did I not save you from death when those Britannia fools tried to pin the blame on you for being Japanese? I asked you to join me then! Lelouch gave off a soft laugh. It really was ironic wasn't it? A royal blood Britannia was fighting against Britannia for the Japanese, and a Japanese was fighting with Britannia. Could they be even more messed up?

He realized he wasn't going to get through to Suzaku with just words. He needed to touch him but that was becoming quite difficult. He just needed Suzaku to come closer to him...how could he?

~“I don’t want to hurt you,”~

His eyes widened for a moment as he felt Suzaku's hands against his wrists. Just what was he thinking? Why was he acting like that? He wanted to cause him pain and yet when pain was caused to him, he felt sad and almost caring. He just didn't understand it. "Suzaku...you'll have to let me out of these at some point. If you're going to keep me alive, I have to eat and move around."

He winced slightly when Suzaku touched over his other wrist. His fingers against the exposed under skin caused a slight burn. He couldn't hold back anymore. Suzaku was on top of him, so if he... He suddenly brought his leg up from behind and kneed Suzaku forward against him. In that moment, he caught Suzaku, not being able to wrap his arms around him completely but enough to hold him in place. "I'm sorry but you need to understand..."

He brought one hand down and slowly cupped Suzaku's chin as he brought his head closer and pressed his lips against the other male's. If just a touch on the cheek was causing him to waver, this was the only thing he could think of to cause more of an intimate touch. If this didn't work, he didn't know what would.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

It was true, all of it. Suzaku couldn’t forget the numerous times Lelouch forfeited victory to ensure his safety. The opposite held true as well. There were several occasions where he allowed Lelouch to go free. So maybe they both did care about each other, and accusing Lelouch of otherwise was wrong of Suzaku. But still... there had been a point where either of them wouldn’t have hesitated to kill each other in the heat of battle, and they both knew it deep down. Suzaku had merely acted upon his wishes to destroy Zero before Zero had the chance, by taking him prisoner and presenting him to the Emperor.

Lelouch didn’t know, and there wouldn’t be any sense in explaining it to him, how Suzaku had done such a thing out of his desire to protect Lelouch – the goodness that still may have been in him. Traitor to the Britannian Empire or not, Suzaku knew that the Emperor would never kill his own son. Whether out of mercy or malice, the Emperor would spare Lelouch’s life. Using his Geass, he crafted false memories of a life that didn’t exist, making Lelouch nothing more than a normal, ignorant boy, content with living a normal life in the empire he once sought to bring down. For Suzaku, that was all he could ask for. Lelouch would be free, and live happily – blissfully ignorant of his true past – in that new life. It was a punishment for Zero – whom Suzaku truly despised, and whom he felt deserved the punishment more than anything.

And there would be a second chance for them as well. For he and Lelouch. Lelouch wouldn’t know him as the White Knight. They could go back to being best friends. Along with Lelouch’s ensured safety, that was all Suzaku wanted.

There was no point arguing any of this. Lelouch would always consider him a traitor, no matter if Suzaku tried to convince him otherwise. And that was fine. It was easier for Suzaku if Lelouch hated him.

“I didn’t agree with your methods,” he reminded Lelouch. “With Zero’s methods.”

He stilled his rubbing of Lelouch’s wrist, meeting the other’s eyes briefly. “No, you won’t have to move around much. I can feed –!”

A grunt escaped him at the sudden movement, which sent him collapsing on top of Lelouch. The brunette shook his head, about to pull away, but found himself trapped in place by Lelouch’s arms, which were locked around him in a surprisingly forceful grip.


“Lelouch,” he growled, incensed by the other’s continuous insubordination. He didn’t want to resort to violence, but if Lelouch kept acting this way he would have no choice but to...

All thought processes stopped as a pair of lips covered his own. Suzaku’s eyes widened to a degree he would have thought impossible, his face heating up as a natural reaction to such intimacy.

What... what was he doing?!

“I’m sorry, but you need to understand...”

This didn’t make any sense. He searched Lelouch’s eyes desperately for some kind of an answer, coming up empty handed. Lelouch was a closed book, as usual, and Suzaku couldn’t even begin to fathom his reasoning behind the unexpected kiss. Was it just to throw him off guard – if so, Lelouch could applaud himself on a job well done – or was it something more than that? Suzaku didn’t know, could never (and probably would never) understand Lelouch’s complicated way of thinking.

“Lelouch,” he spoke against the other’s mouth, voice low. “What are you doing?”

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby

[Soranoo]

____❧ ❧ ❧ Ľεℓøu¢ħ vi βѓiταηηiα

_______________________If the king doesn't L E A D,
______________________________how can he expect his subordinates to follow?

Lelouch gazed at Suzaku. It was obvious that he was no thinking about what he had said. It was true though. He did care for his friend and placing the "Live" geass on Suzaku should be proof enough. Not only did it allow Lelouch to know that Suzaku wouldn't be stupid and try to kill himself, but it give Suzaku a new power to overcome obstacles.

It still hurt being betrayed though. Selling him the Emperor wasn't going to make Britannia better! While he had lost his memories, things had gotten worse, and Nunnally....how could he do that to Nunnally? He wasn't any better by taking his own life, but Suzaku was keeping him away from her while he was still alive. Nunnally...what was she doing right now? He had full faith in her to make the Britannia a kind place for Britannians and Japanese to live.

~“I didn’t agree with your methods, with Zero’s methods."~

That was understandable. Zero, even though he was the same person as Lelouch, wasn't the same. Suzaku knew the Lelouch before he took on the role as Zero. Same with Nunnally and his friends at Ashford Academy. Zero's methods were quite brutal at times and he did take the lives of many Britannians along with Clovis and Euphiena. He knew couldn't erase the blood from his hands.

Hearing Suzaku's growl only made him hold on tighter. He was surprised and didn't know what was going on. It was perfect. Suzaku would fall to him. He knew his friend far to well. Once their lips met, he could see Suzaku searching his face, his eyes for an expression, but with the cursed geass still shining in them, he wouldn't find any answer he was looking for. Suzaku was hooked.

Suzaku's muffled voice was quite cute compared to all his other yelling. He didn't know what to do with the other male at this point, he'd just have to continue along this path until he was free.

He pulled back for one moment to speak."I said you need to understand. You obviously haven't figured it out yet." Suzaku was close enough for him to touch now. His hand that held his chin softly caressed the male's cheek for a moment before burying in the other's brown locks. He kept his other arm fixed across Suzaku's back. He didn't want him moving just yet. Physical contact was going to be Lelouch's ace in the hole to getting out of this situation. He needed Suzaku to give in to him, to stop being so stubborn and just want to be with the male instead of mad at him. "Please take these shackles off."

He leaned up again, pressing his lips against Suzaku's again. He gripped the others hair a bit tightly, pushing him slightly against him. He'd make Suzaku give in to him...how could he not? He was acting so passionate earlier just by touching his wrists. He wanted to make Suzaku completely entranced by him.

__________Those without power. . .
_______________Seek us!

_______________________Those with power. . .
____________________________Fear us!

[L a w l i-P0P]

¤¤_________________________ “have you ever h a t e d anyone
__________________________________________________________________so much
_____________________________________________________ that you would want to
________________________________________________k i l l t h e m?”
_______________________○ ● Şůzακû Ҝũгûгυġĭ

Suzaku squirmed in Lelouch’s grasp, uncomfortable with how the situation was progressing – and not because it felt entirely wrong, either. Quite the opposite, kissing Lelouch ignited a fire within his veins, making his whole body feel warm in a way he couldn’t remember happening with other kisses he’d experienced in the past. And he had kissed quite a few people. The only kiss that sparked feelings like this in him were the few he’d shared with Euphemia, and even those were entirely different from this. With Lelouch... things were always different with Lelouch.

But this was wrong; it had to be. Lelouch was manipulating him again, and, damn it all, Suzaku was doing nothing to stop himself from falling. In the instant Lelouch pulled back, Suzaku made a minute attempt to scoot away but stilled the moment those long fingers swept back into his hair, allowing Lelouch’s other arm to keep its possessive hold around his back and to even pull him the slightest bit closer.

“You obviously haven’t figured it out yet...”

Figured it out? Figured what out? Just what was Lelouch doing to him? He couldn’t find any trace of an explanation in Lelouch’s bleached irises, yet he continued to gaze imploringly down into them.

What does this mean?

Did Lelouch... have feelings for him? Those kind of feelings? The thought made Suzaku blush darkly. He never figured Lelouch as a romantically inclined person, so the very idea surprised him. Lelouch didn't have feelings for people. That was why he was able to slip into the role of coldblooded emperor so easily. At least, that was how it seemed to Suzaku... up until now. Lelouch was making him question himself and Suzaku hated it. He didn't understand how Lelouch could wriggle his way past Suzaku's defenses. Was he really that weak, or, after all these years, after all that had happened -- and all his attempts to harden his heart against the other male -- did he still care that much about Lelouch?

“L-Lelouch, I... I don’t understand,” he admitted, blinking slowly, trying to process Lelouch’s actions leading up to this point, wondering if there was something he’d missed. But the kiss came completely out of nowhere, and Suzaku didn't know how to respond to it now. He should pull away. He should leave. The longer he stayed in Lelouch's presence, the weaker his resolve to punish him became.

Yet again, the brush of those soft lips over his own derailed Suzaku’s train of thought. A quiet whine escaped Suzaku’s throat, the brunette’s toes curling inside the boots he wore as he pressed his eyes shut tightly. His hands, which up until that point were trapped between his and Lelouch’s bodies, gently gripped the front of Lelouch’s robes.

It felt far better than it should have. Maybe because this was supposed to be someone he hated, maybe because they were (or used to be) best friend – there was a definite forbidden element – or maybe because it had been a while since he’d last been intimate with anyone. Whatever the reason, Suzaku’s body responded to the kiss, seeming to act of its own accord as he pressed closer to Lelouch, returning the kiss with only a small amount of hesitance, the other man’s request heard but not entirely registering in Suzaku's mind, far too caught up was the former Knight of Seven in slowly deepening the kiss, working his tongue past Lelouch's lips and teeth.

šсгəαµ, šсrəαµ, šсrəαµ
_______________
You know I make you wanna rυη frσµ µə, baby