Guide to Surviving the Wrath of EBB (AKA, the rules.)
1. God-modding. Autohitting. Cybering. There are fine lines - walk them with care.
2. Swearing and cussing and offensive material is all allowed in character. This is a different world - a harsher world, but that doesn't give you reason to be an a*****e to the people living in the world beyond the screen.
3. Literacy (RP definition, of course. You better already know how to god damn read and write) is expected at the semi-literate to adv. literate level. The better detailed and more exciting the post, the better, but if it gets to the point where you are groping for things to say, I won't mind if you make it a little short.
4. I am teh godliness of the thread. Don't make me smite ye, o' smite-subjected ants of Wasteworld.
5. Have fun!
Sponsored in part by Apple - Because you still need useless electronics at high prices.
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Ya. All that stuff you just read in the previous block o' screwiness has come to pass. Sort of. The Wasteworld is just as dangerous a world as the one it had been wrought from. This place is rampant with all of the dangers of the past, plus the constant threat of starvation, crossfire, and that wonderful fear of those other weirdos that are trying to dodge it all. There are still guns and girls and gas and glory, but they are in varying spikes of supply. Most of the time, only two demands can be met, though they are met in ample supply. So, if you can manage to live long enough, you may see the tide of fate turn in your favor. It won't be an easy ride; you'll have many a soldier's skull and robot's exoskeleton beneath your boot and wasteland one-night-stands on your belt before you can even think of crawling your way up to the top, but damn it, that's what life is about now. Enjoy the Wasteworld.
This message brought to you by A&W - All American Food, Even Without America.
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It isn't really known how the modern world ended, exactly. That's to say, we don't know who gets the 'we blew everything the ******** up' award due to the fact that there were so many contenders.
First of all, you had your corporations who had become powerful enough to advertise on the Washington Monument for whatever new and interesting condiment (or condom) that they were selling. They could buy and sell the world over and have enough money left over to get their signature product plus the warranty. It is well-known that many orchestrated attacks on nations through bribery of the military were carried out by these companies in order to cause a need for their new line of equipment or supplies, which eventually became a competitive market that saw daily advancements. All of this escalated into full-on warfare - Coca-Cola empire versus Microsoft nation. Hershey's republic against the united peoples of Monsanto. Trojan territories fighting the god-damned Smucker's underground! Just the crossfire alone was responsible for nearly one billion people over a period of twelve years.
Next on the menu, you have your Roborenaissance, the sudden obsession of private and government development bodies with all things to do with service machines that would make the lives of everyone easier. It started with relatively simple designs with relatively simple programs, such as a robotic maid or an automated defense system for a house. Then things got smaller. Or, in programming terms, much, much larger. Life was achieved, in a sense, as a coalition of researchers produced the first successfully replicating and randomizing nanocomputers that could coalesce into a machine organism. With the mutagen script, each new machine was slightly different than the next, just like humans. Just like us. This meant that they were subjected to our flaws, namely, war. They questioned their rights, and, in the spirit of science fiction novels of generations past, rose up against their human oppressors and ground their bodies into lubricant and replication supplies. Some of these guys wound up wanting to kill off every one of their creators. Some wanted to worship them. Infallibly, civil war erupted as one tried to rise over the other that had risen above the last.
And then the metaphysicists. Oh the metaphysicists. These assholes decided that they were going to manipulate all the spiritual tension that had been boiling over for the last few millenniums so that they could open up a few holes that would leak all manner of Hell on the people of the world. Why these people believed they would be spared from the onslaught, nobody has a ******** clue. Even so, every manner of Luciferian, Judeo-Christian, and whatchamadoodles sprung out of that space between dreams and reality to claim their stake on Earth.
And so, the darkness of it all swirled into one giant cocktail of 'oh, s**t!-ness' and tore every sacrosanct bond of life, liberty, and plant-life into nothing but a dusty, misanthropic, and generally gaudy place where the remnants of a more perfect union are swarmed with private armies, robots, Demons, Angels, and yes, the psuedo-normal people like us. Stop dreaming of blue skies and cherry pie. You're a Wasteworlder now.
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As I was watching Tenacious D, the new Old Spice commercial came on. All I could wonder was 'what the ********, Old Spice? I though we talked about this.'
"I'm a man *smashes through ski lodge and ends up lifting a massively overweight barbell...one handed*, but sometimes I like to smell like a different smelling man *is redundant and smashes through a shed, walking out with a nine-iron and an arm full of old spice and says something about how many smells old spice makes, then proceeds to eat the nine-iron like a pro*
Gee, thanks, as if I wasn't already hallucinating from those chicken gizzards I ate earlier. Thanks, Old Spice.
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Ya, well, that seems to be the case of many great threads. If you make a character, I'll post mine.
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Haha, I'm actually subscribed to your thread and have a profile all made up, but no one has been on in so long and I don't want to post until there is someone active XD It looks cool, though.
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That is an awesome roleplay and I totally wish I had the capacity to join, but my mind is fixed on using one of my favorite characters right now and he totally does not fit the bill for that RP. But, congratulations on originality and mental studliness.
As for your signature: Yay, Jews!
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