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You've become a very unhealthy obsession, and I've decided that it's in my best interest end all communication between us. I'm disappointed with myself for reaching this state of mind, because I've tried very had to avoid it at all cost. My self control has reached its' end I suppose. All in all, I must say that without you I would be dead, literally. Your existence has helped me though the hardest thing I have ever experienced. There is no one I would have rather loved.

You don't need me though, and my greatest fear is becoming something you don't enjoy having around. Although you currently don't have what you need to be happy with yourself, I have no regrets in saying that you will find it. If there's one thing I have learned from you, it's never to give up.

I hope your life is all you want it to be. You deserve that.

I will miss you, always.

Goodbye.

~*~

Okay, so at this point you're probably like "huh?" No, this is not a suicide note. I sent this massage to a 'friend' of mine. Not so much a friend, not at all, just a guy I've been contemplating love over for the past year. I told him I liked him in October and he was fine with it. He's gay though, and has no interest in me as more than a friend,really hardly even that. The fact that I wouldn't see him all summer and that he would never like me was ripping me apart inside, so I got mad one night and sent him this on the site we communicate on. He's three years older than me, and has probably seen this kind of stupidity before. He hasn't read the message yet.

I try not to regret things, but this is hard not to. I hate myself for acting off impulse like that. I always keep my word though, so now I'm without him. I don't know what to do.


Discuss~
what I can do now
what he'll think when he reads it
why I might of done such a stupid thing
Any advice for the future




*I know I've posted about him before. I'm sorry for any repeated information.

I use to have shoulder length hair, but last night I got it cut to just below my ears for the summer. Personally, love it. I was wondering though, if some guys had a certain thing for long hair? I'm not saying that I'm going to go and change it for them, but I did want to know.

Just for the info, My hair is Strawberry Blond/red naturally.Call me strange, but I've also heard that some guys like red heads better? Yes, I know. This is a stupid post. But I'm curious.

I'm 13, but the guy I like is 16. *sigh*

You can't change it. A lot of the time I know when something is going to happen, but don't acknowledge it (for reasons I'm unsure of). Some people are just that way. The more it happens, the better you will probably be able to understand the feeling, and interpret it.

Go to counseling. I know you probably wont listen to be when I say this, but it really does help. The stereotype behind it is a complete lie. It will help you stop! Chances are that you truly are very depressed and need help. Confronting the real problem is the only way to stop hurting yourself.

It's a mixture of both.

I'm only 13, but sometimes it seems like I really am in love. I don't understand how someone can say that it's only a crush and I'm to young to love someone, when I end up going into serious depression because of it (a true state of diagnosed depression). I'm so incredibly afraid of losing him, I literally can't breath when I'm finally with him.

Is there really such thing as "only a crush"?

No one really has he right to say if that's wrong, but it will prove to be extremely hard to have a relationship with them. I'm sorry for your loss.

It's totally normal. Don't worry about it.

I'm sorry, but it's not possible. I have problems with it also. Jealousy is an unfortunate characteristic that some of us can't avoid.