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so all you metal heads out there, what is the most metal thing you have ever done? |
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I MADE A TOOL BOX OUT OF SHEET METAL!!!! scream
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I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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getting laid
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When I first heard "Becoming the Dragon"
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The Mayor of Gay Town When I first heard "Becoming the Dragon" |
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Suiciding teh intarwebz.
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- Arsenicsoda - The Mayor of Gay Town When I first heard "Becoming the Dragon" Trivium most have smoking pure metal when they wrote that song. After I heard it, I went to the bathroom and shat out 10 tons of raw AWESOME. |
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Well one day, I was out walking when I heard a dreadful rumble through my headphones, that were at the time blaring Tyr, so needless to say, a rumble that loud had me a bit concerned.
The ground before me split in a great cataclysm of fire and lava as a guitar plated in what looked like thousands of scales came out of the crevice. Me and my usual curiosity, I reached for the guitar, cautiously, to find that my inference was correct. The guitar was plated by thousands of harder-than-diamond dragon scales, and the headstock was in the shape of a dragons head, with amazingly shiny red jewels where eyes would be. The strings looked like they were made out of some kind of silver, reflective hair. I decided to abandon my current course and head back to my house, so I could test out this new axe. As I plugged it into my amp and played the first chord, the guitar jerked itself from my grip, and started floating above me. I stepped back in disbelief as the red jewels on the headstock started to glow. Then the guitar started changing its shape. The neck started to curve inward towards the back of the guitar, and the body itself changed to the shape of a small, muscular torso. Arms and legs and a tail soon sprouted from it, and it ceased floating and landed with a thud on my faux hardwood floor. It was a real dragon. It crashed through my bedroom window, and suddenly gained an incredible amount of size. If he had done this inside my room, half of my apartment complex would have perished. It was then that he spoke to me. "Climb on my back, and I will take you to the lord. He wishes to see you." Me and my curiosity decided to do so. The dragon took me upon his back, and with a sudden jolt, took off into the skies. I tried asking him what his name was, but he remained silent for the remainder of the trip. He dropped me off outside a tower. We had flown above the clouds, so I had very little of an idea of where I was. I started towards the tower, but hesitated. I had no idea what was going to happen. But the dragon beckoned that I enter the tower, and upon finishing his motion, took off into the skies. I entered the tower and found myself in a majestic ballroom, glistened by the light of a hundred thousand candles. In the middle was a table, round, with one chair at the north end, facing away from me. The chair suddenly spoke. "The threads upon the loom of life have foreordained your coming here. Weep not, mannequin of mankind, dry your worthless puppet tears." But I wasn't crying anyway. The chair spun around to reveal none other than Ronnie James Dio. "Welcome my friend," he spoke. "Come, I wish to speak with you." "But there's no chai-" As soon as I uttered the word, a chair appeared at the southern end of the round table. I sat. "Now, I'm here to tell you about a certain mission I have for you." Dio then explained, over the course of an hour and a half, the plight of the current metal realm, where all dead heroes go to live out the tales they sung while among the living. An evil guitarist warlord named Darrell Abbot had recently come into power with his mesmerizing squeals and simple riffing techniques, and soon became the favorite of the entire realm. It was my job to assassinate him, and save the metal realm from this menace. Dio then rose, uttered several words in a language that I did not understand, and suddenly a scythe with a blade that seemed to be made of pure black diamond appeared in my hands. A rift opened up several feet away from the table. I could see into it. Nothing but fire, dragons flying everywhere, and a tiny section that seemed to be a forest trapped in everlasting darkness and winter. Knowing what I had to do, I rose from my seat, and stepped into the portal. It was a harsh journey, I cut my way through thousands of demons and wizards, blind guardians, braved the deadly anthrax virus, and defeated panzer battalions singlehandedly. I was even captured, and survived being thrown into an iron maiden. I even had to venture into that dark and cold forest, but found nothing other than a strange species of creature with black and white faces that liked to scream at me. But eventually I made it to the Castle from Hell, the stronghold of the warlord. I cut my way through his castle and made it to the throne room, where he was seemingly ready for my arrival. He wasted no time, and started attacking me with squeals and dive bombs like I've never heard. It made my feet heavy, and I could not move. My head was spinning, but I had to keep my resolve. I burst through the soundwaves and had clashed my scythe with his guitar. We pushed off one another, and I made my leap. Off came his head. And thus, the evil of overration was destroyed in the realm of metal. Knowledge of the warlord was seemingly erased in both the realm of the living AND the metal realm. All was good again. The dudes in the forest still scream at me though. |
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An HERO!!!
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all hail darthh nihilus!
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Raping and killing a small Indonesian tribe.
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Turbo II Raping and killing a small Indonesian tribe. What about the Bornean Folk Metal scene? YOU a*****e! It was slowly burgeoning... |
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Darthh Nihilus Too much awesome |
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Gabriel Valessar Darthh Nihilus Too much awesome rofl |
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