Red Phoenix48
Yes, i have a gun. Yes, it's pointed at my head.
The world is a pretty terrible place all by itself. There's murder, rape, genocide, theft, poverty and so much more.
Why bother living, i ask. Well, i can't see a reason. Nobody ever speaks to me, unless it's to insult me or warn me about another rock flying in my direction.
I'll live, bleed, then die. It doesn't matter what i do. I'll contribute nothing to society, and only put a drain on humanities resources. I can see no point n anything anymore.
As convoluted as this sounds so far, it's because i'm having a hard time finding things to say about this, in the right order. Thanks for at least trying to understand.
I'm unwanted, a mistake. Nobody needs me around. Nobody wants me to be alive. Mistakes should be erased and replaced with the correct answer.
I've tried everything. I've tried praying, I've tried answering things with rational response. I've tried working with other people. I've tried exercising. Nothing works.
Give me a reason to not pull this trigger.
If you are still alive...
Life is so much easier than you think. One friend can keep you alive to experience the greatest happiness in the world. One word can give you the greatest friend in the world. A simple hello, a simple how are you, simply asking questions about other people.... that can give you thousands of friends in a month. How easy is that... to experience happiness.
And isn't that what you are missing. You feel you are worthless. You feel you are hated. And yet with one friend, with one word, you can stop feeling these emotions instantly. Because feeling worthless goes away when you realise you are actually important to someone - when people actually love you like a friend. Because feeling you are hated is bearable if you have another person who you can call on to be on your side. Life and success - it is about teamwork. All you have to do to have a team on your side is to say... hi.
And why do you feel the way you do now? And why did God let this happen? Because you were so absorbed in yourself, in your ability to get out alone, that every once in a while a human who told you to get out of the way of the rocks was God himself, and was that friend you need. Because God lets you live the life you want to live... and if you want to get out he gives you a hand. But what choice does he have when you want to be a hermit. Because hermits die alone.
