Edward Cullen - Abusive Boyfriend (Eclipse SPOILERS)

Your opinion?

I knew it all along.	61.8%	[ 1576 ]
Good points, but I'm not convinced.	15.4%	[ 393 ]
You're wrong, and I will post my rebuttal.	11.5%	[ 293 ]
But it's True Love!	11.4%	[ 290 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2552 ]

[Dalnim]

Aldorel

Summary of Points

arrow Edward is jealous of Jacob. Abuse red flag number one.
arrow Edward isolates Bella from her friends, then abandons her.
arrow "I couldn't live without you." : Edward attempts suicide over Bella. Cntrol tactic.
arrow Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father.
arrow Edward frightens Bella with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety.
arrow Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him.
arrow Edward watches Bella while she sleeps.

1. Jealousy isn't abusive, necessarily. When you care for someone, but aren't very secure about your relationship, it's easy to be afraid that someone more impressive will snatch your lover up. He's jealous of Jacob because Jacob is Bella's friend already and is romantically interested in her. He's jealous of some of the boys at school, probably thinking, "I'm a vampire and could kill her if I slip up, they're perfectly safe," and worring that will occur to Bella.

2. Hmm, Bella struck me as one of those people who just doesn't get along well with most people. Quiet, stays in the background. I'm that kind of person, and I am pretty isolated. And I guarantee you nothing (besides the huge amount of schoolwork my few friends get) is making me act that way. I'm just not comfortable being around others for more than a few hours. In fact, I've come to the conclusion that my ideal lover would probably be someone I wouldn't mind spending larger amounts of my time with.... but I'm babbling. On to the next point.

3. It's not a control tactic if he thinks she's already dead. He can't manipulate someone who's not around to know he's attempting suicide.

4. He doesn't, really. Now, he's not going to go barging in and tell Charlie what's up, but he certainly isn't pleased with Bella when she lies to Charlie.

5. It's not explained in the book, but I think part of his trying to frigthen her is out of a need to know she'll still care for him even if she knows just how dangerous he is. I mean, this is Meyer's first book, she's bound to miss details. Gods know I did worse on my first book.

6. Give me some examples. They disagree plenty. Edward thinks he's a big scary monster, but Bella doesn't. Edward's convinced he has no soul because he's a vampire and it is therefore a sin to change her into one, but Bella thinks that's codswallop. He doesn't like all of her opinions, he argues with her on the topic, but I can't think of a time he tried to force her to change her mind.

7. True, that's a little weird. No arguement there, though he could certainly do worse with his time.

And don't accuse me of not reading the full essay, becuase I did.

[~MikaItoshii~]

You make me frickin sick. Commiting suicide is not a control tactic, that's crap! Maybe he loves her, have you ever thought of that. You know, there is such a thing as love. And so what is he watches her when she sleeps. It's called safety. Think about it instead of posting this crap about edward cullen.

[Mcfeegle]

~MikaItoshii~

You make me frickin sick. Commiting suicide is not a control tactic, that's crap! Maybe he loves her, have you ever thought of that. You know, there is such a thing as love. And so what is he watches her when she sleeps. It's called safety. Think about it instead of posting this crap about edward cullen.

I don't think he ever once said he was watching her while she slept for her safety. He said he was following her for her safety, but not watching her as she slept. Even if it was it's still just plain wrong. Also, contrary to what people may think due to Romeo and Juliet, love doesn't mean you'll kill yourself if they die. If you love someone and know they love you, and they die, then you should know that what they would want for you would be to get on with your life and be happy. Killing yourself is just stupid and selfish. Plus, who's to say Bella and Edward love each other at all? Sure they say they do, but give me some proof. Show me why they love each other apart from her smelling nice and him looking good.

[Minari]

No, you sound like you read the essay. Some people don't, and you can tell. Thank you very much for being clear-headed, respectful, and unhostile<3

Dalnim

1. Jealousy isn't abusive, necessarily.

No, not necessarily. Somebody said earlier that love was an action, not a feeling? It doesn't matter how jealous you are- it's how you act on that jealousy. I haven't finished New Moon, but when Ed tells Taylor that Bella doesn't want to date him, and tells Jacob that Bella doesn't want to dance with him anymore (or something along those lines), he's letting his jealousy get away with him. He's taking away Bella's choices, even if we assume they're the ones she wanted made.

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2. Hmm, Bella struck me as one of those people who just doesn't get along well with most people.

And that's absolutely fine. But Edward drives her away from the connections she has. If she wanted friends, he wouldn't let her have them. (And no, I'm not saying he would flat-out say it. I'm saying that once more he would make snide comments that she would believe without question)

I'll leave number 3 to someone who's read New Moon whee

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4. He doesn't, really. Now, he's not going to go barging in and tell Charlie what's up, but he certainly isn't pleased with Bella when she lies to Charlie.

Meaning to or not, he uses reverse psychology to stop Bella from telling Charlie. We've said this a billion times, so I won't repeat.

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5. It's not explained in the book, but I think part of his trying to frigthen her is out of a need to know she'll still care for him even if she knows just how dangerous he is.

That makes a certain amount of sense, but it doesn't make it a good thing to do. You don't threaten your girlfriend to see if she'll love you or not.

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I mean, this is Meyer's first book, she's bound to miss details. Gods know I did worse on my first book.

Your first published book? There's a difference. Plus, that isn't a detail, it's a major character motivation. Points off.

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6. Give me some examples. They disagree plenty. Edward thinks he's a big scary monster, but Bella doesn't. Edward's convinced he has no soul because he's a vampire and it is therefore a sin to change her into one, but Bella thinks that's codswallop.

Those basically add up to "no, I love you more!" arguments. We mean real arguments, over which they don't speak for days and make them question each other and their relationship.

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He doesn't like all of her opinions, he argues with her on the topic, but I can't think of a time he tried to force her to change her mind.

When they go to the baseball game she doesn't want him to carry her and he kisses her and mesmorizes her into changing her mind. She doesn't want to have a birthday party and he gives her puppy-dog eyes until she changes her mind. Coercion is not good.

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7. True, that's a little weird. No arguement there, though he could certainly do worse with his time.

No, it's a downright invasion of her privacy. It doesn't matter that she turned out not to mind- he didn't know and he did anyway. There's a difference between your boyfriend standing in the doorway before coming to bed and a stranger lingering outside your window all night.


@Mika: You can love someone and abuse them. I love it how you acuse us of not thinking, after we've posted paragraph over paragraph of evidence and you have a scant three lines biggrin

[ninjaworshiper]

hello! ever heard of the saying true love conquers all! in time i think Edward will settle down. that is my honest opinion.

[Minari]

ninjaworshiper

hello! ever heard of the saying true love conquers all! in time i think Edward will settle down. that is my honest opinion.

And what makes it true? If a man is beating his wife, should she really stay with him because it's "true love" and maybe he'll simmer down? Have you even read the thread?

[Love Mara]

I am a huge fan of the books but i truly don't think that Edward is an abusive boyfriend. He warns her to stay away all through Twilight and he tried for some time to leave her in New Moon but she went racing off to find him. She loves him and he loves her. She didn't like her friends anyway and Edward didn't make her stop being with them, she chose to spend all her time with Edward, she chose isolation from everyone else, he didn't force it upon her. Yes, Edward did say they were shallow but he can here their thoughts. remember? So maybe even deep down they were truly shallow people. Edward only forces her to leave Charlie while James was hunting for her because he was scared for her life. Bella isn't a reasonable person, she would kill herself to save the ones she loved, even if it wasn't neccesary so in this case if Edward hadn't forced her away from Charlie, she most likely would have died. Of course Edward is jealous of Jake, Jake had been there when Edward wasn't. Jake pulled her together when she fell apart, what guy, vampire or not, wouldn't be jealous. I think the whole Vampire Wolf enemies just adds to that. Edward could hear Jakes thoughts, he knew what was going on in Jakes mind, we didn't. Neither does Bella. Maybe Jake was planning to steal Bella and run off with her to La Push, we don't know. Maybe thats why Edward held Bella back.

But i have to say you do make very good points, but in this story line he wouldn't be considered an abusive boyfriend, maybe if Edward and Jake were just normal people, it could be looked at that way But in this book there are dire reasons for everything Edward does.

[Gearfish]

I agree with you, but well, you can't expect a fake and poorly written relationship to make sense. All of these people who like the book are saying, "ZOMG HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY EDDIE!" or "Look, they love each other! He only stalks her to protect her!" and the un-fans are saying "No! He's a stalker!"

While I do dislike Twilight, it's just a book. Maybe it's an overrated, not very good book; but it is still just a piece of angsty teen literature.

Aldorel, well, as true as your essay is, most fans have had it beaten into them through the book that Edward is the ultimate good; you probably won't chane many minds.... but I absolutely love your essay! ^_^ I even showed it to my fan comerade, and she liked it.

[Minari]

Please do not write in those blocks of text- it's hard to read.

mara_k09

He warns her to stay away all through Twilight and he tried for some time to leave her in New Moon but she went racing off to find him.

But he keeps seeking her out. No one is saying that Bella has no say in this, but he definitely didn't try too hard to keep them apart.

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She loves him and he loves her.

May I see some proof?

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She didn't like her friends anyway and Edward didn't make her stop being with them, she chose to spend all her time with Edward, she chose isolation from everyone else, he didn't force it upon her.

Uh, she did like her friends. She thought they were shallow at times, but she enjoyed their company. Again, if he really loved her he would use his hundred years of wisdom and encourage her to socialize, because they have things to offer her that he doesn't. Again: He influences how she thinks of her friends, and that's not right.

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Yes, Edward did say they were shallow but he can here their thoughts. remember? So maybe even deep down they were truly shallow people.

Hey, Bella is shallow. She'd fit right in. And anyway, it isn't his decision. She needs to discover for herself that they are.

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Edward only forces her to leave Charlie while James was hunting for her because he was scared for her life. Bella isn't a reasonable person, she would kill herself to save the ones she loved, even if it wasn't neccesary so in this case if Edward hadn't forced her away from Charlie, she most likely would have died.

Edward isn't a reasonable person either. Remember his crackhead plan? It turned out that in that situation, Bella was right after all. If he was a good boyfriend, he would respect her and have faith that maybe she knows what she wants to do with her life. If she wants to sacrifice herself and spend her last moments with Charlie, he has no right to stop her.

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Of course Edward is jealous of Jake, Jake had been there when Edward wasn't. Jake pulled her together when she fell apart, what guy, vampire or not, wouldn't be jealous.

Jealousy is fine- acting on it is not. If Jake really did all that stuff for Bella, then Edward should stifle his jealousy and be happy that Bella has a good friend.

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I think the whole Vampire Wolf enemies just adds to that. Edward could hear Jakes thoughts, he knew what was going on in Jakes mind, we didn't. Neither does Bella. Maybe Jake was planning to steal Bella and run off with her to La Push, we don't know. Maybe thats why Edward held Bella back.

As I've said, I haven't read this part, I don't know what's going on. But in that case, Ed gets to warn Bella, but make no decision for her.

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But i have to say you do make very good points, but in this story line he wouldn't be considered an abusive boyfriend, maybe if Edward and Jake were just normal people, it could be looked at that way But in this book there are dire reasons for everything Edward does.

An abusive boyfriend is an abusive boyfriend. Always and forever. Regardless of species.

[ThornedRazor]

~MikaItoshii~

You make me frickin sick. Commiting suicide is not a control tactic, that's crap! Maybe he loves her, have you ever thought of that. You know, there is such a thing as love. And so what is he watches her when she sleeps. It's called safety. Think about it instead of posting this crap about edward cullen.

Actually certain forms of suicide attempts are considered cries for help or attention, and can be a form of control in a relationship. Threats of suicide, displaying suicidal tendancies, and other behavoirs are used by controlling partners to make the controlled feel guilty- like the situation is the controlled partner's fault. If the Controlled Partner has any feelings for the Controling partner, it's often one of the most effective tactics to keep the controlled bound to the relationship And yes- controllers do go through with their threats, sometimes to the point where they actually die.

[asiasportchic]

Minari

No, you sound like you read the essay. Some people don't, and you can tell. Thank you very much for being clear-headed, respectful, and unhostile<3

Dalnim

1. Jealousy isn't abusive, necessarily.

No, not necessarily. Somebody said earlier that love was an action, not a feeling? It doesn't matter how jealous you are- it's how you act on that jealousy. I haven't finished New Moon, but when Ed tells Taylor that Bella doesn't want to date him, and tells Jacob that Bella doesn't want to dance with him anymore (or something along those lines), he's letting his jealousy get away with him. He's taking away Bella's choices, even if we assume they're the ones she wanted made.

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2. Hmm, Bella struck me as one of those people who just doesn't get along well with most people.

And that's absolutely fine. But Edward drives her away from the connections she has. If she wanted friends, he wouldn't let her have them. (And no, I'm not saying he would flat-out say it. I'm saying that once more he would make snide comments that she would believe without question)

I'll leave number 3 to someone who's read New Moon whee

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4. He doesn't, really. Now, he's not going to go barging in and tell Charlie what's up, but he certainly isn't pleased with Bella when she lies to Charlie.

Meaning to or not, he uses reverse psychology to stop Bella from telling Charlie. We've said this a billion times, so I won't repeat.

Quote:

5. It's not explained in the book, but I think part of his trying to frigthen her is out of a need to know she'll still care for him even if she knows just how dangerous he is.

That makes a certain amount of sense, but it doesn't make it a good thing to do. You don't threaten your girlfriend to see if she'll love you or not.

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I mean, this is Meyer's first book, she's bound to miss details. Gods know I did worse on my first book.

Your first published book? There's a difference. Plus, that isn't a detail, it's a major character motivation. Points off.

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6. Give me some examples. They disagree plenty. Edward thinks he's a big scary monster, but Bella doesn't. Edward's convinced he has no soul because he's a vampire and it is therefore a sin to change her into one, but Bella thinks that's codswallop.

Those basically add up to "no, I love you more!" arguments. We mean real arguments, over which they don't speak for days and make them question each other and their relationship.

Quote:

He doesn't like all of her opinions, he argues with her on the topic, but I can't think of a time he tried to force her to change her mind.

When they go to the baseball game she doesn't want him to carry her and he kisses her and mesmorizes her into changing her mind. She doesn't want to have a birthday party and he gives her puppy-dog eyes until she changes her mind. Coercion is not good.

Quote:

7. True, that's a little weird. No arguement there, though he could certainly do worse with his time.

No, it's a downright invasion of her privacy. It doesn't matter that she turned out not to mind- he didn't know and he did anyway. There's a difference between your boyfriend standing in the doorway before coming to bed and a stranger lingering outside your window all night.


@Mika: You can love someone and abuse them. I love it how you acuse us of not thinking, after we've posted paragraph over paragraph of evidence and you have a scant three lines biggrin

NONE OF THESE HAVE NAYTHING TO DO WITH BEING ABUSIVE!!!!! GET THAT IN UR HEAD!!!
btw-to all u jacob lovers, ppl think edward is dangerous, Jacob can do worst, he can bite, scratch,etc. Edward can bite her and turn her into a vampire, which she WANTS to be!
The sleeping is wierd yeah, but every1 has flaws.
AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS BELLAS CHOICE!!!!! NOT EDWARDS!!!!!!!
HHHEEELLLLOOOO!!! even tho edward some how dazzeled her, she should how enought will power to control it, and she does! so stop dissing cause u rather would have edward to urself.

[asiasportchic]

Alice Parker

twistedxreality

Aldorel Wrote:

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Summary of Points

Edward is jealous of Jacob. Abuse red flag number one.
Edward isolates Bella from her friends, then abandons her.
"I couldn't live without you." : Edward attempts suicide over Bella. Cntrol tactic.
Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father.
Edward frightens Bella with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety.
Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him.
Edward watches Bella while she sleeps.

OMG!!! take for example the first time bella went to the clearing when edward was showing her how strong he was. he wanted her to know how dangerous he was!! that is why he did it!!! with james: edward saved bella!!! he sucked the venom out of her!! edward and carlisle try to go track james down when he was going after bella!!! isnt that enough?!

You know what I find really funny. If you think about it, when Edward
sucked the venom out of Bella, he didn't save her. He killed her. If he would have left it in, she would be a vampire, thus living forever. (If you aren't getting technical on the whole 'aren't you already dead' thing)
But since he sucked it out, she can now die. So really, Edward isn't really a big hero if he just made Bella's death happen a lot sooner. rofl

Yes but at the same time edwards thinks becoming a vampire ur soul goes to hell or somethin like that. So wouldnt that be killing her too? Maybe u should think about it again.

[Minari]

asiansportchic

NONE OF THESE HAVE NAYTHING TO DO WITH BEING ABUSIVE!!!!! GET THAT IN UR HEAD!!!
btw-to all u jacob lovers, ppl think edward is dangerous, Jacob can do worst, he can bite, scratch,etc. Edward can bite her and turn her into a vampire, which she WANTS to be!
The sleeping is wierd yeah, but every1 has flaws.
AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS BELLAS CHOICE!!!!! NOT EDWARDS!!!!!!!
HHHEEELLLLOOOO!!! even tho edward some how dazzeled her, she should how enought will power to control it, and she does! so stop dissing cause u rather would have edward to urself.

Calm down and remember that I'm a human being, please. Just because I disagree with you (and present better points, personally), doesn't mean I deserve multi-exclamation points.

First: They may not be physically abusive, but manipulation, domination, disrespect, coercion, etc. are abuse.

Second: You say she should have more will power, but that's blaming the victim. If a mother beats her child, would you say it's the child's fault for not being strong enough to defend itself? Bella has low-willpower, but Edward is the one who takes advantage of it. Not something a respectful boyfriend does!

Third: I think Edward is a disgusting, foul, inconsiderate p***k. I'd rather have Mike, thanks.

[Weapon of Mass Corruption]

Erg. I have no time, so I'm sorry if this has already been said sweatdrop
Even though I like the book (It's my cotton candy book xD), I agree with most of the points stated in the essay, but I don't get how his suicide attempt was a control tactic. He thought she was dead, so who exactly was he trying to control?

Also-- I agree. Watching her while she sleeps is seriously creepy. Edward should be doing more constructive things with his time. Like hunting, so he doesn't accidentally drain her or something.

[Love Mara]

Minari

asiansportchic

NONE OF THESE HAVE NAYTHING TO DO WITH BEING ABUSIVE!!!!! GET THAT IN UR HEAD!!!
btw-to all u jacob lovers, ppl think edward is dangerous, Jacob can do worst, he can bite, scratch,etc. Edward can bite her and turn her into a vampire, which she WANTS to be!
The sleeping is wierd yeah, but every1 has flaws.
AND EVERYTHING ELSE WAS BELLAS CHOICE!!!!! NOT EDWARDS!!!!!!!
HHHEEELLLLOOOO!!! even tho edward some how dazzeled her, she should how enought will power to control it, and she does! so stop dissing cause u rather would have edward to urself.

Calm down and remember that I'm a human being, please. Just because I disagree with you (and present better points, personally), doesn't mean I deserve multi-exclamation points.

First: They may not be physically abusive, but manipulation, domination, disrespect, coercion, etc. are abuse.

Second: You say she should have more will power, but that's blaming the victim. If a mother beats her child, would you say it's the child's fault for not being strong enough to defend itself? Bella has low-willpower, but Edward is the one who takes advantage of it. Not something a respectful boyfriend does!

Third: I think Edward is a disgusting, foul, inconsiderate p***k. I'd rather have Mike, thanks.

If you hate the book so much why don't you just leave it alone? Instead of over analyzing everything to pieces. Its a romance, they are in love, its fiction, there doesnt have to be proof of them being in love, its a book, not reality, hes not abusive, these things are just how Stephenie Meyer was trying to show the reader how Edward felt about Bella. If you hate it oh so much why do you keep thinking baout it? Why dont you jsut leave it alone and wipe every memory of ever reading it out of your head? It bothersme when people over analyze everything, its a romance book, nothing more, so stop looking so deep into it already, jeesh.