[ Poll ] Edward Cullen - Abusive Boyfriend (Eclipse SPOILERS)

Your opinion?

I knew it all along.		58.5%	[ 1321 ]
Good points, but I'm not convinced.		16.6%	[ 375 ]
You're wrong, and I will post my rebuttal.		12.5%	[ 283 ]
But it's True Love!		12.4%	[ 279 ]

Total Votes: 2258

[Minari]

Seeing as Aldorel prob'ly won't be on for hours, and I'm here anyway...

jenner_lee

Okay the one thing that I reallydisagree with (and I can offer more than my personal opinion) is the point that Edward doesn't want her to socialize. While Edward never directly encourage Bella to socialize is that he never tells her not to.

But he does. Bella's infatuation gives him a lot of power, and he can use it without saying straight-out, "I don't want you to make friends." She thinks he's absolutely perfect, and knows everything, and he says her friends are shallow. Bella, being the gullible idiot she is, believes him. A good boyfriend would have kept his opinions to himself.

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My second point is that he took her to the prom because if not for Edward she wouldn't have gone at all.

And so? If she doesn't want to go to the prom, how is it her boyfriend's responsibility to make her? I don't see how this is a point in his favor.

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And Bella is a deeper person then most, she can't really listen to or relate to people like Jessica who only cares about her reputation and make-up.

Wait, Bella is deep?! As of when? Last I checked, she spent all her time thinking, "woe is me" and dreaming about her boyfriend. Activities she would have seen in her "friends" as shallow. Also, who's to say that Jessica isn't deep? I mean, Ed hears her thoughts, sure, but I'm guessing Ed would think Bella was shallow if he could hear the same thoughts I do (always about how beautiful he is? Yeah). There's more to people than what the mindreader hears.

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And she has other relationships, Alice and all the other Cullens are her friends, also even when she wasn't with Edward she didn't want to do stuff with other people.

Yeah, but she doesn't think about them. If she were trapped in a room with them, she wouldn't mind, but she wouldn't seek them out. And who cares if she's asocial? I'm asocial, but if my boyfriend encouraged me to think of my schoolmates as shallow, or to ditch the friends I had, I would kick him straight to the curb.

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Oh and about lying to Charlie, EVERY TEENAGER LIES. [...] Oh and Edward also encourages Bella to tell her father that she is going with him to the meadow but Bella doesn't.

Yes, but not every teenager is dating a bloodsucking monster biggrin Also, Charlie likes Ed (for reasons I cannot imagine), so I don't see the need for complete secrecy. She doesn't have to tell him Ed's a vampire, just that she's going out with him.

Secondly: Sure, Edward says, "tell your father" but as Aldorel mentioned, he also said, "so that if I kill you I'll get in trouble." The last thing Bella wants is for Edward to get hurt, so she doesn't tell him.

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I just don't see Edward as being abusive. He tells her she can leave if she wants and he won't do anything to stop her.

I can say I'm the Empress of Russia, but that doesn't make it true. He has such a complete monopoly over her, he wouldn't have to do anything, she couldn't leave if she wanted to. If he really wanted her to be without him, he would socialize her and find ways to make her less dependant on him.

And that'll have to do until Aldorel get's back biggrin

[iDord]

Aldorel Wrote:

Quote:

Summary of Points

Edward is jealous of Jacob. Abuse red flag number one.
Edward isolates Bella from her friends, then abandons her.
"I couldn't live without you." : Edward attempts suicide over Bella. Cntrol tactic.
Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father.
Edward frightens Bella with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety.
Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him.
Edward watches Bella while she sleeps.

hello!! jacob is a werewolf and likes bella!! and edward can read his mind!! it makes perfect sense for him to be jealous!!

when you are dating someone you really love wouldnt you try to spend every minute with him/her?

edward thought bella was DEAD!! just becase he left her doesnt mean he wanted her dead!!

edward NEVER encouraged bella to lie to her father! he wanted her to tell him where she was going so he would have a reason to bring her back.

OMG!!! take for example the first time bella went to the clearing when edward was showing her how strong he was. he wanted her to know how dangerous he was!! that is why he did it!!! with james: edward saved bella!!! he sucked the venom out of her!! edward and carlisle try to go track james down when he was going after bella!!! isnt that enough?!

umm... give me one spot where that happens!

that is because he cant stay away from her!!! the way you say it it sounds like edward stalks her or something!! well maybe he did before but that was because he is in love with her!!!


it KIND OF makes sense in a way but edward never meant to hurt bella in any way. HE JUST DID WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR HER!!

AND: when edward made her go to the prom and made her have a birthday party he just wanted her to be human. he didnt want her to miss out on anything that she would have done if she had never met him!!!

[ValleryPewter]

hE'S a vampire its not like he is perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Minari]

ValleryPutter

hE'S a vampire its not like he is perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're right. The fact that he's a vampite makes it okay that he abuses his girlfriend rolleyes

@Twisted: Try reading the complete essay and having an open mind, mmkay?

[Izumi Shikibu]

ThornedRazor

Okay, while I'm not going to sit here and defend the relationship, I will point out one thing:

Unhealthy and Controlling Relationship =/= Abusive Relationship.

Yes, a controlling, or obsessive relationship can later turn into an Emotionally Abusive relationship, or even a physically abusive relationship- but it's not abuse per se.

It's probably not going to be one that's good for either party (Blood Sucking Undead? Not a healthy relationship choice), and the parties in question will walk away with emotional scars, but that just means that the relationship is screwed up- so are alot of relationships.

Controlling, Isolating, and Jelousy are common enough threads in alot of relationships- a guy who manipulates his girlfriend into wearing skirts, because he prefers them, a girl who takes a guy away from his poker night, or even a man who feels slightly grumpy at the thought of his girl talking to her totally hot coworker. It's when these things aren't held in check that it gets to be a baaaaadddd idea.

Then again, I believe in the old saying- Jelousy is simply guilt turned outward.

I completely agree with you. The relationship definitely isn't healthy, but it doesn't seem abusive.

[Gwendhyr]

As much as I would absolutely adore to say that this entire board opened my eyes to the terror that is the Edward/Bella relationship, I can't. T'wouldn't be honest.
Of course I respect your opinion, and if I weren't resoutely rooted in my own, I might be swayed. However, I don't quite think that your completely correct.
Yes, Edward is far too overprotective, but I see that as sweet.
Yes, he watches her when he sleeps, but if he's in love with someone who sleeps and he himself can't sleep, what else would he do at night?
Try to look at it from the perspective of Edward.
He's gone all his vampiric life alone.
Alone in the sense that he hasn't had a close female to spend time with, like Alice is for Jasper and Carlisle and...gahhh, drawing a blank.
But I digress.
Edward, I don't believe, knows what else to do. He's fascinated by Bella and how she captures his interest.
I don't see how that is abusive.
In the end it comes down to an opinion, not the straight facts. If you see the obsessive relationship as an abusive one, then so be it. I, for one, view it as an endearing relationship.

[The Pill Fairy]

Oh wow...looking over these points really does prove that Edward is abusive...I never really liked these books very much, but I do think Bella needs to get out of it now. Edward is pretty hot, though. blaugh

[Mrs. Coulter]

Marvelous!

I enjoy the books, but your little essay is pure intelligence and truth. I actually pointed some of these things out to my friend who were swooning over Edward, but I never thought that that counts as 'abusive'.

[Izumi Shikibu]

Aldorel

A hundred-year old vampire should know better. When does he start learning from his mistakes? Even if he can't read her mind, he knows how much she relied on him and how superficial her relationships with her other friends are.

Edward is one hundred years old, but he still has the brain chemistry of a teenager, so the part of his brain that helps him make good decisions hasn't finished developed. And he hasn't had a romantic relationship before. Until he met Bella he didn't have any mistakes to learn from.

Aldorel

Even if you form only one or two close relationships, you should form several more casual relationships with people you actually hang out with. Bella does not hang with anyone - she sticks with Edward 24/7.

I agree that it's unhealthy for Bella to only hang out with Edward, but this seems like a problem she had even before she met him. Not long after Edward left she began to interact almost exclusively with Jacob. Once Alic returned she temporarily pushed Jacob to the side to be with her.

Edward doesn't do anything to help her solve this (he seems to ignore his own family to be with her, so he probably doesn't recognize it as a problem) but he doesn't seem to be the cause.

Aldorel

The suicide itself may not have been abusive - more generally mentally unstable - but constantly threatening suicide is. And suicidal tendencies often crop up in abusers. The suicide attempt itself is not a proof. It supports the other actions listed. Together, I think they add up pretty oerwhelmingly.

Edward does not constantly threaten suicide. At one point he claimed that if she died he would kill himself and when he thought that she really was dead he tried. He doesn't threaten to commit suicide if she leaves him, if she doesn't do what he asks, etc. He just doesn't want her to die.

Aldorel

Except that Jacob is precisely as dangerous to Bella as Edward is. Maybe less. Seems a bit hypocritical to me. Plus, he pulled Jacob away from Bella at prom, before he became a werewolf. He doesn't need to think Bella likes him romantically to be jealous.

Actually, Jacob is more dangerous than Edward. Edward has spent a century building up tolerance to blood and he refused to even be near Bella until he thought that he could control himself. Jacob has no control over his actions, which in the book is considered typical of werewolves. Even Sam, who seems to have a calm personality and no abusive traits, attacked Emily. As I said before, Edward only tries to stop Bella from getting near Jacob when he thinks that Jacob is losing control.

[Emerald of Your Eye]

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Oh and about lying to Charlie, EVERY TEENAGER LIES. [...] Oh and Edward also encourages Bella to tell her father that she is going with him to the meadow but Bella doesn't.

Yes, but not every teenager is dating a bloodsucking monster biggrin Also, Charlie likes Ed (for reasons I cannot imagine), so I don't see the need for complete secrecy. She doesn't have to tell him Ed's a vampire, just that she's going out with him.

No Charlie doesn't like Edward at all. He did in Twilight but not anymore. Not since he left Bella.

[icechild21]

He's not abusive, that a bit to strong I think. They're just head over heels for each other, I'm pretty sure he's not trying to control her. True, he is a bit jelouse and it made me so angry at the End of New moon when Edward was all, "don't he's got no control" To Jacob. but still, not abuseive.

[katiekatz23t]

If you have so many problems than dont read it...
Omg... lets see what the goodness of him is
arrow She likes him to watch her as she sleeps.
arrow She loves him
arrow She wasen't made to lie.She did it onw her own.
arrow He was going to kill him self just to be with her
arrow He does anything for her
arrow He is not jealous over Jacob
arrow Edward is evan going to marry her...
Dont make me go on...If thats not true Love than I dont know what Love is...
At the end she loves what he does for her...
I put a lot of thanking in to the books after I finished...
If edward wasn't a good boyfriend, than why didn't Bella put an end to it? If she didn't want to take the pain,than she shouldn't have started the relationship. That is her first true love. This is all new to the both of them.
He warned her of all the dangers and problems that would go on.She didn't gave a damn.If she did than why didn't she leave him yet? Yall are only thanking of the bad in him. If you thought of the good in him, maybe well,maybe than you could see why Bella loves him. If all you can see is the bad than your never have any good reason to disslike him... If he hit on her than that is a good reason to not like him.But does he do that? NO, he don't.
So, their is good in him to. She likes it as you can see.3

Love yah,
Katiekatz23t

[Mcfeegle]

katiekatz23t

If you have so many problems than dont read it...
Omg... lets see what the goodness of him is
arrow She likes him to watch her as she sleeps.
arrow She loves him
arrow She wasen't made to lie.She did it onw her own.
arrow He was going to kill him self just to be with her
arrow He does anything for her
arrow He is not jealous over Jacob
arrow Edward is evan going to marry her...
Dont make me go on...If thats not true Love than I dont know what Love is...
At the end she loves what he does for her...
I put a lot of thanking in to the books after I finished...
If edward wasn't a good boyfriend, than why didn't Bella put an end to it? If she didn't want to take the pain,than she shouldn't have started the relationship. That is her first true love. This is all new to the both of them.
He warned her of all the dangers and problems that would go on.She didn't gave a damn.If she did than why didn't she leave him yet? Yall are only thanking of the bad in him. If you thought of the good in him, maybe well,maybe than you could see why Bella loves him. If all you can see is the bad than your never have any good reason to disslike him... If he hit on her than that is a good reason to not like him.But does he do that? NO, he don't.
So, their is good in him to. She likes it as you can see.3

Love yah,
Katiekatz23t

Can you point out some of these good qualities to me please?

Just because she likes it when he watches her when she sleeps doesn't make it any less creepy. In fact, it makes it more so. If she had found out that Edward was watching her before she really knew him, would she have liked it? I think not.

I think you need to actually read the whole essay before posting here because it covers most of your points on there.

Prove to me that they're in love. Give me one good reason why they should love each other, or one thing that proves that they actually, really, truely, love each other.

[Alice Parker]

twistedxreality

Aldorel Wrote:

Quote:

Summary of Points

Edward is jealous of Jacob. Abuse red flag number one.
Edward isolates Bella from her friends, then abandons her.
"I couldn't live without you." : Edward attempts suicide over Bella. Cntrol tactic.
Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father.
Edward frightens Bella with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety.
Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him.
Edward watches Bella while she sleeps.

OMG!!! take for example the first time bella went to the clearing when edward was showing her how strong he was. he wanted her to know how dangerous he was!! that is why he did it!!! with james: edward saved bella!!! he sucked the venom out of her!! edward and carlisle try to go track james down when he was going after bella!!! isnt that enough?!

You know what I find really funny. If you think about it, when Edward
sucked the venom out of Bella, he didn't save her. He killed her. If he would have left it in, she would be a vampire, thus living forever. (If you aren't getting technical on the whole 'aren't you already dead' thing)
But since he sucked it out, she can now die. So really, Edward isn't really a big hero if he just made Bella's death happen a lot sooner. rofl

[Izumi Shikibu]

Alice Parker

twistedxreality

Aldorel Wrote:

Quote:

Summary of Points

Edward is jealous of Jacob. Abuse red flag number one.
Edward isolates Bella from her friends, then abandons her.
"I couldn't live without you." : Edward attempts suicide over Bella. Cntrol tactic.
Edward encourages Bella to lie to her father.
Edward frightens Bella with his vampirism but does not take steps to ensure her safety.
Edward does not allow Bella to make her own decisions or to disagree with him.
Edward watches Bella while she sleeps.

OMG!!! take for example the first time bella went to the clearing when edward was showing her how strong he was. he wanted her to know how dangerous he was!! that is why he did it!!! with james: edward saved bella!!! he sucked the venom out of her!! edward and carlisle try to go track james down when he was going after bella!!! isnt that enough?!

You know what I find really funny. If you think about it, when Edward
sucked the venom out of Bella, he didn't save her. He killed her. If he would have left it in, she would be a vampire, thus living forever. (If you aren't getting technical on the whole 'aren't you already dead' thing)
But since he sucked it out, she can now die. So really, Edward isn't really a big hero if he just made Bella's death happen a lot sooner. rofl

But he claimed in the second book that he didn't think that vampires had souls. So he thought that he was condemning her to a more imminent death, but giving her the chance of an afterlife.