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d a s A r t i f e x
I forgive people who deserve to be forgiven.


So no, I do not hold grudges. I'm just smart enough to know who not to trust.

What does that even mean? "I forgive people that deserve to be forgiven." how do you know they deserve it?

Quote:
What's the point of accepting an apology from someone who will keep making the same mistakes?

Because people are human. We make mistakes. Over and over.
It all depends on what the person has done and who it was. I only hold grudges for things that have hurt me in a most painful way.
the enlightenment
d a s A r t i f e x
I forgive people who deserve to be forgiven.


So no, I do not hold grudges. I'm just smart enough to know who not to trust.

What does that even mean? "I forgive people that deserve to be forgiven." how do you know they deserve it?

Quote:
What's the point of accepting an apology from someone who will keep making the same mistakes?

Because people are human. We make mistakes. Over and over.

the enlightenment
What does that even mean? "I forgive people that deserve to be forgiven." how do you know they deserve it?

I can make that determination based on my past experiences with an individual. If I feel that someone will continue to hurt me after I forgive them, then obviously, forgiving them would be idiotic.

the enlightenment
Because people are human. We make mistakes. Over and over.

This is true, but if someone continues to make a mistake over and over, and that mistake continues to hurt me, then I obviously need to cut ties with this person who has no regard for how their actions affect me. Why should I continue to allow this person to hurt me?
the enlightenment
Katsumi_Noir
the enlightenment
Katsumi_Noir
I'm pretty forgiving a lot of the time.
However, if someone's really wronged me or the people I care about then I'll never forgive them and will bide my time till they get their comeuppance.


What if them hurting you was unintentional?

Generally I tend to give second chances for people to redeem themselves and learn from their mistakes. They wrong me again then I'm done playing nice - they can stay away from me & those I love, or feel my wrath.
I don't trust anyone anymore after being wronged so many times by those I thought were friends etc. Once can be given the benefit of the doubt, second time it was clearly intentional as they didn't learn so repercussions will come to them.


See, I asked primarily because I was curious.. As I am known to hurt others, unintentionally. I am very blunt, and direct and at worst derisively cutting, the reason for that is I truly do not like to waste time, unless that was the plan. An example is "ignoring" people. I do not answer questions that I find silly and repetitive especially if I have already given a response. My sitter is a very sensitive person, and there are plenty of times where she gets offended by me and it is unintentional. She will make a comment and I will answer shortly, if I don't tailor it a certain way, I hurt her feelings. It just starts up unecessary drama, that drains me. I hope to meet someone that is able to accept short responses without whining about it. My example isn't sufficient, I did just wake up and I need time to think.

How do you give them a second chance? What if what they did, they did not view as offensive and you are coming to them with an expected apology? How does that go about?

What is your wrath? I am very humored by this kinds of peoples "you will feel
my wrath!" I think, "actually I will do not such thing, you are immature and preconceiving ways to hurt me over a slight when you should just grow up and get over it, I will feel no such thing, I will ignore you." that is what I truly think. My bestfriend is very vindictive our friendship consists of me ignoring her when that side comes out because it is childish, a waste of time. I'm not trying to put you down or anything.


I'm abrupt/direct too - I don't sugarcoat things nor expect anyone to tiptoe around me either. (I have as much tact/diplomacy skills as the bullet train hurtling into a wall sweatdrop )

If someone's offended me, then they're told about it & I'll not bother with them until it sinks in. If they want to make things right with me then they can make the first move and come to me. I will not pander to anyone when I'm not in the wrong. Even if they take months to come around, good for them.
I've had "mug" stamped across my forehead long enough letting people walk all over me - I don't need to deal with it anymore.

"feeling my wrath" - this is reserved for the rare few people that have seriously and constantly betrayed me and those I love. These people have been known to cross the street and walk for 3 miles to avoid passing me/getting on the same bus as me.
I tend to bide my time, no matter how many years I wait, their time will come. I'm happily waiting for them to make a passing comment or even look at me the wrong way, never mind try to take a swing at me(although this would be the most ideal situation, 'self defence' and all) - I won't hesitate to go for them. For what these people did, they completely deserve it.
the enlightenment
Belonging To Night
I try to be forgiving, but pesky emotions can get in the way and can sometimes make me feel vindictive.


At least you admit it. I try my best to live life rationally for that very purpose..


A person can really only work with what they're given in life. Emotions are a very real and very human thing, and sometimes they do get the better of people. If nothing else, if people understand that aspect more and can sympathize with it, then it could help with others becoming more forgiving as well, because who really hasn't said or done something stupid that made someone else angry?

Living rationally is a good way to approach it. Has it helped you be more forgiving?
Belonging To Night
the enlightenment
Belonging To Night
I try to be forgiving, but pesky emotions can get in the way and can sometimes make me feel vindictive.


At least you admit it. I try my best to live life rationally for that very purpose..


A person can really only work with what they're given in life. Emotions are a very real and very human thing, and sometimes they do get the better of people. If nothing else, if people understand that aspect more and can sympathize with it, then it could help with others becoming more forgiving as well, because who really hasn't said or done something stupid that made someone else angry?

Living rationally is a good way to approach it. Has it helped you be more forgiving?


I don't think that anyone likes to feel slighted. There is an intrinsic code that I live by, that I also have a bit of a hard time explaining to others. I look at matters in life, in my life through reason.
I also have a unhealthy outlook where emotions are concerned, according to a select few that I know. I had a long discussion with a close friend of mine last night about this.

He asked me if I wanted to be a master of emotions. Because I've had talks with him, disclosing that my purpose I find on earth is to reach omniscience, knowledge of everything and everyone, to be a master of rationality, that is to me, the only authority I comply to. I told him, "No. I want to be a master of rationality, not emotions. Emotions are manipulative, ever-changing, inconsistent, raw, troublesome etc. I do not want and will not have emotions take me." I am different, you might read this and think why do I sound robotic? I don't deny that I have feelings and emotions, i do have these things but I do not process the majority of them. I do not experience the same tolerance that most people have with emotions, it is literally like suffocating when I seek to process a feeling, it engulfs me and I cannot be. In my eyes it is as if i am experiencing some form of psychosis. It does nothing for me. I think I try to explain this to some people. I understand that emotions make us human, but I was not made, I do not relate, I do not process information from an emotional plane. And when I do feel the emotion whenever that may be, my body doesn't allow me to process it, I blank out, because I am so used to repression, I think "what is crying going to do?" you know? When people die, what does crying do? I can't relate to death emotionally, I can relate to death rationally and than comes the solution - to go back to being productive because life doesn't stop when someone you know dies, and it is selfish to grieve that is my opinion.

Looking at things rationally prevents me from holding a grudge. I am easy going, accepting and quite loyal, unless I find you irrelevant and not of value to me, regardless I remain civil. I see absolutely no sense in holding a grudge. Grudge hoarders will claim it isn't their problem, the truth is it is, the only person that is affected here is them, because they cannot let things go and to punish themselves essentially it is to re-Create the situation and when that cannot be done, they consciously look for ways to hurt that other person, when they really are hurting themselves.


If someone hurts you, oh well. When I have been "hurt," by someone, I go into instant introverted intuition mode, the problem is with me not them, it's a process I follow, where I seek to truly understand why some external force could contribute to my shakiness. Of course this requires isolation, and than I come to the conclusion, that it was silly, I don't need to put up with it, people make mistakes, their drive to hurt others has nothing to do with me so why should I sit there and wallow? Time is of the essence I think.

Being angry at others, it's very silly to me. If you are not prepared to deliberate, than get over it, move on.
Usually forget after a while, if it wasn't too bad...
tokkis's avatar

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Excuse me, miss.
It depends.

Generally I don't like being angry at people, but if some one really pisses me off, then I will forever hate them.

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Do you hold grudges?
I don't hold grudges. I forgive but I don't forget.

Are you a forgiving person?
yes.

When is enough, enough?
Depends on the offender as to how I'd react. Sometimes the first offense is the limit(you really have to betray me for this to happen though).
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I hold grudges. I mean I still wanna kill th' Kongs
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I forgive, but I rarely forget.
the enlightenment
Belonging To Night
the enlightenment
Belonging To Night
I try to be forgiving, but pesky emotions can get in the way and can sometimes make me feel vindictive.


At least you admit it. I try my best to live life rationally for that very purpose..


A person can really only work with what they're given in life. Emotions are a very real and very human thing, and sometimes they do get the better of people. If nothing else, if people understand that aspect more and can sympathize with it, then it could help with others becoming more forgiving as well, because who really hasn't said or done something stupid that made someone else angry?

Living rationally is a good way to approach it. Has it helped you be more forgiving?


I don't think that anyone likes to feel slighted. There is an intrinsic code that I live by, that I also have a bit of a hard time explaining to others. I look at matters in life, in my life through reason.
I also have a unhealthy outlook where emotions are concerned, according to a select few that I know. I had a long discussion with a close friend of mine last night about this.

He asked me if I wanted to be a master of emotions. Because I've had talks with him, disclosing that my purpose I find on earth is to reach omniscience, knowledge of everything and everyone, to be a master of rationality, that is to me, the only authority I comply to. I told him, "No. I want to be a master of rationality, not emotions. Emotions are manipulative, ever-changing, inconsistent, raw, troublesome etc. I do not want and will not have emotions take me." I am different, you might read this and think why do I sound robotic? I don't deny that I have feelings and emotions, i do have these things but I do not process the majority of them. I do not experience the same tolerance that most people have with emotions, it is literally like suffocating when I seek to process a feeling, it engulfs me and I cannot be. In my eyes it is as if i am experiencing some form of psychosis. It does nothing for me. I think I try to explain this to some people. I understand that emotions make us human, but I was not made, I do not relate, I do not process information from an emotional plane. And when I do feel the emotion whenever that may be, my body doesn't allow me to process it, I blank out, because I am so used to repression, I think "what is crying going to do?" you know? When people die, what does crying do? I can't relate to death emotionally, I can relate to death rationally and than comes the solution - to go back to being productive because life doesn't stop when someone you know dies, and it is selfish to grieve that is my opinion.

Looking at things rationally prevents me from holding a grudge. I am easy going, accepting and quite loyal, unless I find you irrelevant and not of value to me, regardless I remain civil. I see absolutely no sense in holding a grudge. Grudge hoarders will claim it isn't their problem, the truth is it is, the only person that is affected here is them, because they cannot let things go and to punish themselves essentially it is to re-Create the situation and when that cannot be done, they consciously look for ways to hurt that other person, when they really are hurting themselves.


If someone hurts you, oh well. When I have been "hurt," by someone, I go into instant introverted intuition mode, the problem is with me not them, it's a process I follow, where I seek to truly understand why some external force could contribute to my shakiness. Of course this requires isolation, and than I come to the conclusion, that it was silly, I don't need to put up with it, people make mistakes, their drive to hurt others has nothing to do with me so why should I sit there and wallow? Time is of the essence I think.

Being angry at others, it's very silly to me. If you are not prepared to deliberate, than get over it, move on.


Is this a skill you've worked on that allows you to control your emotions?

I'm sort of trying to grasp at that skill. But I don't really want to lose that human aspect of me since I'm already kind of introverted, so sometimes I'll even dramatically express emotion since it is at times contradictory to my usual self. What I've found is that I'm more expressive than I am introverted. That the so-called acting out emotions (at least the exaggerated positive ones) actually influences how I really feel.

What you explained about yourself made me think about what Buddhists would sometimes do with their emotions.
I forgive but don't forget.
i usually forgive to get it out of the way but it also depends on how much people talk shet about me and how mad i get,i usually hold grudges too.
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the enlightenment
Do you hold grudges? What exactly is that doing for you?
Are you a forgiving person? When is enough, enough?

I suppose I am in between. I don't hold grudges, I'll give you a second chance if you take it. I am forgiving but again I'll give ya a second chance, but if ya ******** up then, I hoenstly don't know what to think.

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